Everything I Want (The Everything Series Book 3)

by A. K. Evans

  Stone took me by the hand and walked with me upstairs to his bedroom. Once we were there, he ordered, “Sit on the bed.”

  I sat.

  He opened the bottom drawer of his nightstand, pulled out a book, and opened it. Inside, there was a white envelope with the name Xander written on the outside. He handed it to me and put the book back.

  My belly began feeling funny again. This was not in a good way.

  I looked to Stone and he nodded at me, encouraging me to open the envelope.

  So, I did.

  I pulled out the piece of paper and unfolded it.

  Dearest Xander,

  When your father and I met many years ago I never imagined that I would find a love so incredible. Xavier Stone swept me off my feet and showed me the greatest love of all. I never met a better man in all my life. Not long after we were married you came into our lives. I’ve never seen a person more full of pride than your father was at the honor and privilege he felt in being the person responsible for raising you and teaching you all of life’s lessons. He took the job very seriously and he loved you with all his heart. He had so many plans for the two of you; things he wanted to show you, teach you, and experience with you. When you started riding and were winning contests at such a young age he always said, “My boy is going to be something special.” He was so proud and he had every reason to be.

  That day you came home from school and were finishing your homework when we heard the knock at the door was the worst day of our lives. Two uniformed officers, one your father’s partner, delivering the worst news we could ever imagine hearing. Your father had been killed in the line of duty. Each and every day before he walked out of the house to go to work I’d say a silent prayer that he’d be safe and would always come home to us. My prayers went unanswered that day and I’m sorry. I’m sorry he left us. He is the bravest man I know. He is not just an American hero; I know that he is your hero, too.

  He is also my hero. It’s been nearly two years since he was taken from us and the pain is still so fresh for me. Xavier Stone was my world, Xander. He is the only man I’ve ever loved and I miss him terribly. I can’t live without him anymore. I’m so sorry to leave you, my beautiful boy, but my life without your father just isn’t worth living. I’ve never felt such sadness and I can no longer cope with the loss of him. It’s too much to bear.

  My greatest wish for you is that you’ll one day find a love like ours. One that is all-consuming and deeply fulfilling. It will hit you when you least expect it and you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it. Go after it. Cherish it. Keep it.

  It’s worth it.

  Always remember what your father said, Xander. You are something special. You deserve all the happiness life has to offer and I hope you find it. Keep riding and keep winning. Make your father proud. Keep pushing to be the best you that you can be. Follow your dreams and never forget the love that your father and I both have for you.

  Please forgive me, Xander. I love you and I’m sorry, my son, so very sorry for leaving you.

  All my love,

  Mom

  With tears streaming down my face and a tightness in my chest that made me feel like I was suffocating, I looked up at Stone.

  I never thought it was possible for my heart to experience pain worse than it did two weeks ago when Stone left me, but now I knew that it could. He had endured the pain of losing his father at thirteen years old. That was unimaginable. It all made sense to me now, though. Two years after his father was taken from him, his mother took her own life. She loved his father so much that she left her son behind with nobody.

  I didn’t know what the right words were to use in that moment. The shock of learning what he had gone through left me speechless.

  I crawled from the middle of the bed to edge where Stone was sitting, watching me. I climbed into his lap, wrapped my arms around him, and hugged him. Then, I cried harder.

  Through my sobs, I managed to get out, “I am so sorry, Stone. So sorry for everything that was taken from you.”

  “Love destroyed her,” he croaked out. “And then, because I loved her, it destroyed me.”

  I pulled back to look at him. His eyes were wet.

  “I went through that and I felt it every single day,” he continued. “Until you came into my life.”

  A single tear fell from his eye.

  “Monroe, baby, I miss them so much. Every day without them I have felt either depressed or angry. When I’m with you, I don’t feel that…ever. The pain is still there, but it’s different and it’s less. These last two weeks without you have been miserable. Worse than anything I’ve ever felt before. I lost both of my parents. I had no control over that. I don’t want to lose you, angel. Please tell me it can happen again and that I can get it back.”

  My brows drew together.

  “What? Get what back?”

  “Your love. You said the other night that you didn’t want to hate something that you used to love. Please tell me I can work to get you to love me again.”

  There was no use trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. It was impossible. Why did I say such a horrible thing to him?

  “Stone…handsome, I never stopped loving you.”

  The instant the words came out of my mouth, Stone crushed his mouth to mine. His kiss was hard and deep. It was different than anything I had ever experienced from him. He claimed me with this kiss. His hands roamed over my body. Over my back, my legs, and my chest. I loved the feel of his hands on me again.

  I tore my mouth from his and rested my forehead against his. I brought my hands up to frame his face and I whispered, “I’m going to replace the pain, Stone. I’m going to love you so hard that all you ever feel is love and peace and happiness. There won’t be an ounce of space left in you for any pain. I’m going to heal you and I’m going to make it better. Whatever it takes, I’m going to do it. You said love destroys people. I’m going to show you differently. You’re going to not only see what my love does for you, but Stone, you’re going to feel it. You’re going to feel every ounce of love I have for you and it’s going to heal you.”

  “My angel,” he rasped out.

  We sat in silence staring at each other.

  “Baby, it’s been too long. I’ve missed you so much. Will you let me make love to you?” he asked.

  I froze. My whole body went rigid.

  “I’m sorry, Monroe. I should have realized that you’d need some time until you were ready for that,” he got out before I pressed my finger to his lips to silence him.

  “I don’t need time, Stone. You said you wanted to make love to me.”

  His eyes warmed and the hardness was gone.

  He nodded.

  “I did. Because I love you, Monroe Archer.”

  A small cry escaped my lips before I asked, “You do?”

  He smiled when he answered, “So fucking much.”

  Chapter 22

  Monroe

  Strong, masculine hands roamed over the curves of my body. Stone’s solid body was underneath mine, his hips nestled between my parted thighs. My hands were resting on the firm planes of his chest as I lifted and lowered my hips over his.

  Stone was letting me take the lead for this round. He had just made slow, sweet love to me and it was the most incredible experience of my life. The pleasure he dealt to the both of us had us panting, out of breath, and feeling fantastic.

  I wanted more.

  I wanted to give him more.

  So, I gave us a few minutes to come down from the high of our orgasms before I climbed on top of him, positioned him at my entrance, and lowered myself over him. With Stone filling me, I began moving. I loved being with him like this. Stone always made it good, but I loved giving him the opportunity to not have to do all the work. I liked being able to give us both pleasure. Of course, Stone couldn’t sit back and do nothing. He knew what his hands did to me and he used them to make the experience that much more rewarding for me. The more he touched me, t
he faster I moved.

  “Oh, Stone, I missed this so much. I missed you so much,” I panted.

  “Me too, angel,” he rasped.

  One of his hands came up to caress my breast while the other went directly to my clit.

  See? He refused to let me do all the work.

  I continued moving while his hands assaulted my sensitive spots. It built quickly and Stone knew it.

  “Come apart with me.”

  I came apart with him, moaning through the beauty I was experiencing being with him again. It was too much to bear and I collapsed on his chest. He slowly thrust his hips up drawing out my pleasure. When he stopped, I felt the wetness leak from my eyes onto his chest.

  “Monroe?”

  I lifted my head so that my chin was resting on his chest and looked at him.

  His voice went soft when he asked, “Baby, why are you crying?”

  “Since I was a little girl, all I’ve ever wanted was to find love. I’m overwhelmed right now with how I feel about the fact that someone loves me…that you love me.”

  Stone rolled me to my back and settled over me. His hands framed my face and he admitted, “That night, when we were at Lou’s for your birthday, I shouldn’t have let you say that to me and not said it back. I didn’t know, angel. I didn’t know that this is what it was. I felt something for you and I knew you meant a lot to me, but I didn’t know. I’m sorry that you gave that part of yourself and got nothing in return that night except a broken heart. I was shocked to hear you say it and then worried that if I gave in to what I felt for you, you’d be taken away from me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Stone. I know it’s going to take you some time to trust in my love for you, but I promise you, I’m not leaving. That first night I was with you I told you that you were everything I wanted. I meant that, my love.”

  Stone dropped his head to mine and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

  “Want to spend the rest of the night with you in my arms, but I need you to answer one question for me first.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “Please know that I think you’re beautiful, Monroe; but it kills me to see how much weight you’ve lost. When was the last time you ate something?”

  I looked away.

  “I haven’t had much of an appetite.”

  “Baby…when?”

  “I had some fruit this morning before I went to the studio.”

  His expression changed to a pained one before he questioned, “And before that?”

  “Saturday night when I went out with the girls. I ordered food, but then you texted me. When my food arrived I just cried. I ordered a burger and fries and all I could think about was how I wanted to have that and milkshakes with you.”

  “That’s what was in the bag that night, wasn’t it?”

  I nodded.

  Stone lifted off me and pulled me up next to him.

  “Let’s go downstairs so I can make you some food. I have everything we need for burgers, fries, and shakes. We’ll have a late dinner together, okay?”

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  He pressed a kissed to my temple and said, “That’s my good girl.”

  I couldn’t help but smile hearing him call me that again. It felt so good to be his again.

  At that, Stone and I threw on some clothes and went downstairs so he could make burgers, fries, and shakes. He wouldn’t let me help and insisted, “I want your ass on the stool talking to me while I make you food.”

  So, I sat my ass on the stool at the island and talked to him while he made me food. He asked me about the grand opening and how things were going at the studio. Of course, he knew how things ended the night of the grand opening, but was curious about the turnout I received. I told him that it had been a successful night and that I was so busy at the studio now that I needed to find another instructor fast because the demand was too much. I explained that this was also part of the reason I was not eating regularly. Throughout the day, I was so busy working that I didn’t take the time to sit and eat.

  “You said you don’t have any students coming in for classes until just after lunchtime. You have plenty of time to eat, Monroe. If your heart wasn’t hurting, you would have been eating. I am responsible for this.”

  “Don’t hold on to this, Stone. Please.”

  “I’m not because starting now, you eat. I love your body, Monroe. You have full days of dancing. You’re burning tons of calories and need to fuel your body throughout the day. At night, I want you in my bed where you’re going to burn even more calories. So, starting now, you eat and you eat regularly. Understood?”

  I nodded.

  Then, since he was giving out orders I figured it’d only be fair to give out some of my own.

  “So, are you going to get your head out of your ass now or what?” I countered as he set the milkshake in front of me and began plating the food.

  “Come again?”

  “You told me your concentration has been shit. I’ve also heard through the grapevine that you’ve not been focused when you’re training. You’ve got a contest this coming weekend, one that I hope I’m still invited to come and watch. I’d hate for my first experience watching you ride in a contest to be one where you can’t get out of your own way.”

  Stone stalked around the island with the food and set the plates down. He brought a hand up to cup my jaw and admitted, “I love it when you’re feisty.”

  Then, he kissed me on the nose and sat down.

  “That didn’t answer my question.”

  “I’ll be fine as long as you’re eating throughout the day and are in my bed at night.”

  I turned to face the food and looked at the burger and the mound of fries in front of me.

  “Stone…this is ridiculous.”

  “It’s fine. Eat.”

  “I’m just saying, I won’t be able to finish all of this. You made too much.”

  I picked up the ketchup and squirted some on my burger before drizzling it all over the fries. I popped a fry in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Then, I lifted the massive burger to my mouth and took a huge bite. It was amazing. I continued taking bites of it and had gotten more than halfway through it when I turned to look at Stone.

  He was staring at me, dumbfounded.

  My mouth was filled with food when I mumbled, “What?”

  “No appetite, my ass.”

  I swallowed, brought the milkshake up to my lips, took a huge gulp, and retorted, “You make a mean burger.”

  He smiled and said, “I fuckin’ love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I continued eating and suddenly had a thought.

  “Does it always have to be your bed?” I asked.

  “Pardon?”

  “You said you’d be fine as long as I’m eating and in your bed at night. Does it always have to be your bed?”

  “You don’t like my bed?”

  I rolled my eyes at him.

  “I love your bed. Honestly, I do. You were in my bed two weeks ago, though. When I woke up the next morning without you there, I could still smell you on my sheets. I liked that. I was so upset when I finally had to change the sheets. Your scent had already faded, but I liked it there. I’m just wondering if you’d mind switching it up a little and spending a night or two with me at my place.”

  “Don’t plan on spending many nights away from you, but if you want that I can give you that. Training this week, so I’d like to stay here if you are okay with that. After the contest this weekend, we can stay in your bed. That work?”

  “That works.”

  He grinned at me.

  “You sure you want me here while you’re training?” I asked, eating more fries.

  “Baby, not only do I want you here, but I need you here. I’m going to go train tomorrow and I know it’s going to be different. I’m going to be better because I have you here with me. It’s been so long since I’ve had someone who loves me there to watch me ride. I’m moti
vated now and I want to make you proud.”

  I slowly finished chewing, swallowed, and confessed, “You’re going to work hard the rest of this week and you’ll be fine. I know you will, but you should know that I’ll be proud of you regardless of how you do this weekend.”

  At that, I pushed my plate back a bit and grabbed the milkshake. I drank the rest of the shake, set the cup down, and gave Stone a look.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “I think I ate too much food,” I admitted. “I feel like I’m going to explode. I am pretty certain that if you had any bedtime activities planned for this evening that I might need some time to let this food digest.”

  He laughed. It was the laugh that I had missed hearing so much.

  “What’s so funny?” I inquired.

  “Bedtime activities?” he repeated through his laughter. “Fuck, Monroe, I almost forgot about your ability to dazzle me with your vocabulary. I really fucking missed that.”

  “Well, that’s what it’s called. What else should I call it?”

  “Seriously, angel? I don’t know…you could say, having sex, making love, fucking -- there are plenty of options.”

  I thought on it a moment.

  Then, I gave him a coy smile before I retorted, “Okay. I’m going to need some time to allow this food to digest before we start fucking again and you put your beautiful, hard cock in my sweet, tight pussy. Is that better?”

  Stone stared at me a moment, flabbergasted.

  “Maybe you should go back to your old method because if you keep saying things like you just said I’m not going to be able to stop myself. Jesus Christ, Monroe. My dick can’t handle the surprises from you.”

  I grinned at him.

  “I thought that’s what you wanted,” I teased.

  Stone reached over, wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me into his lap, and kissed me. His voice was soft when he pulled back and admitted, “It is, baby. It’s everything I want and more.”

  “I love you, Stone.”

  “I love you, too, my angel.”

  Stone’s hand moved along my side, up my rib cage, and stopped just underneath my breast. His thumb swiped across the fabric covering my now hardened nipple. He pressed a soft kiss to my lips and wondered, “Now that you’ve got a full belly and aren’t ready for bedtime activities, what do you want to do?”