by Lylah James
I felt a hand on my back and I swiveled around, wrapping my hand around the person’s neck. Viktor stared at me blankly, waiting for me to calm down. My fingers tightened slightly but his expression still didn’t change.
I released his neck with a snarl and pushed him away. He stumbled back, but quickly gained his footing again.
“Don’t fucking touch me. I won’t be held responsible for my actions,” I growled before taking a menacing step toward him.
Viktor straightened his back before turning toward Phoenix and Nikolay and nodding at the door. They left without a backward glance. When the door closed with a bang, I sagged against the table.
There was too much fury coursing inside of me. I had to release it before I completely lost it.
Shrugging off my suit jacket, I removed my tie and pulled at my collar to loosen it. I ran a shaky hand over my face.
Looking down at my hands, I slowly clenched them into fists, my knuckles cracking. With a frustrated sigh, I walked to the door and opened it wide.
The hallway was empty and my hard steps echoed as I walked downstairs to the gym. My sight was on the punching bags. Without a second thought, I landed a punch on the bag, my bare knuckles hitting it with a crack.
I didn’t know how long I kept at it. Punching. Kicking. Roaring in anger with each punch and kick. My knuckles were bleeding, the skin torn apart. My fingers were hurting and a crippling pain went through my hands and arms, but I kept going.
The pain. It felt good. I needed it.
I heard the door open and stopped in mid-swing. Placing my hand on the punching bag, I stopped it from knocking me down. Hissing through gritted teeth, I turned around to look at the intruder.
Viktor walked forward, his steps slow. I stared at him closely, following his movement with unflinching eyes.
When he stopped a few feet away, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Viktor took his suit jacket off and threw it on the ground before rolling the sleeves of his shirt up, showing the tattoos that covered the length of his arms.
He kept his eyes on me the whole time, and when he was done rolling his sleeves, he reached up and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his white shirt. Rolling his neck around, he took two steps forward and then stopped.
Viktor pushed his legs apart, shoulder wide. He cracked his knuckles before pointing at me and then moving his finger to his chest. “Come at me,” he ordered, his voice cold and hard.
My eyes widened slightly and fury surged through me. With a deafening roar, my feet lurched forward. A red mist of anger clouded my vision as I made the first strike.
We fought. Punched. Kicked. Scrambling around like animals. Viktor didn’t go easy on me. He retaliated. We both fought for power, each of us letting our anger out.
I saw his fist moving toward my face and I quickly dodged it before punching him in the gut. Viktor groaned in pain and went down to his knees, holding his stomach. I didn’t let him go. Pushing him down, I continued my assault. He still fought back.
When I noticed him growing weaker, I pushed him away from me. Viktor laid on his back on the ground, his hands over his chest as he gasped for breath.
Sinking down on my ass, I sat beside him. Licking my lips, I tasted my blood.
“Better?” Viktor gasped, turning his face toward me. He stared at me through swollen eyes and I shook my head.
“Not even close.” My whole body was sensitive and aching, but still, I couldn’t get rid of the rage.
“Shit. I don’t think I can move,” he groaned and then winced in pain. Viktor pulled his head back and bellowed at the top of his lungs.
“Nikolay!”
The door opened and he came in.
“It’s your turn,” Viktor said, his lips turning up in a small smirk.
Nikolay nodded and then took his suit jacket off. After rolling his sleeves the same way Viktor had, he braced himself and gave me a nod. I didn’t wait for another signal. Letting the rage take hold, I rushed forward.
Before I could punch him, Nikolay moved out of the way and landed a punch on my shoulder instead.
It pissed me off more.
Shifting to my side, I kicked him in the leg. He stumbled back but quickly gained his footing and then he was rushing toward me again. We kept going like that, back and forth, teeth clashing together in anger as we reveled in our fury. When Nikolay was done, Phoenix took his place. Adrenaline kept me going. Artur was next.
My body eventually started to weaken and I could barely land a punch. After Artur fell to the ground beside Viktor, Phoenix, and Nikolay, I sank to the ground too and laid there, staring at the ceiling.
These men had my back. They were my brothers, not by blood but by choice.
“Alessio,” Viktor started, but I quickly cut him off.
“Don’t. Just don’t say anything.” I struggled to sit up, then sighed before running my aching hand through my sweaty hair.
Rolling my neck around, I winced at the pain and then stood up on shaky legs. I nodded at them and I walked out of the gym.
The fury inside of me, the beast, the monster inside me was finally calm. But for how long? How long before I lost it again?
I went straight upstairs. But instead of going into my bedroom, I walked to the room beside it, the one between my room and Ayla’s. Pushing the door open, I turned on the lights.
My gaze went to the large piano in the corner of the room. My heart stuttered in pain at the sight of it and my stomach twisted painfully.
I made my way to the piano. As I neared it, my heart ached and my eyes started to burn. I stopped in front of the piano and slowly brought my fingers up, pressing softly over the keys.
I couldn’t stop the memories that came crashing around me.
A loud bang jostled me awake and my eyes went wide with fear. “Mommy?” I called. I felt her hands on me and she pulled me out of the bed. The lights were on and as I blinked the sleepiness away, I heard another bang. I flinched when I heard screams.
“Mommy, what’s happening?” I asked, my voice filled with fright.
She knelt down in front of me and my eyes widened at the sight of terror on my mommy’s face. My stomach dropped and my lungs squeezed together.
“Mommy,” I whispered.
“Alessio, listen to me carefully. I want you to hide under the bed. Okay?” she started, her voice small and shaky. “No matter what happens or what you see or hear, you don’t come out. Do you understand?” Mommy grabbed my shoulders and shook me gently. I nodded but didn’t understand what was going on.
The fear on her face made me scared. My mommy was never scared. She was always laughing and smiling. I had never seen my mommy like that. Her small body was shaking and I saw tears in her eyes. She ran her hands up and down my body and pulled me to her chest.
She peppered my face with kisses and then pulled back. “Mommy, what about you? Why am I hiding under the bed?” I asked.
“Alessio. Don’t ask me questions, okay? Please, baby, just listen to Mommy. Hide under the bed and don’t come out. Not until Papa, Lena, or Isaak come looking for you,” Mommy said urgently.
But why?
I was about to ask again, but she shook her head and a tear escaped the corner of her eye. “Please, my baby. Promise Mommy that you won’t come out,” she begged.
I quickly promised and she cried. Pulling me to her chest again, she whispered in my ear, “I love you. I love you so much, my sweet boy. Never forget that.”
We pulled apart when another bang was heard from outside the room. The sounds were nearer. I shivered in fear and Mommy’s eyes went wide with horror.
She pushed me toward the bed and stood up. “Go, my baby. Don’t come out. Don’t make any noise. No matter what? Do you hear me?” Mommy whispered, her voice filled with tears as she pushed me under the high bed.
I felt sick and my throat started to close up. So I just nodded. She gave me a final look before pulling the sheet down and separating us.
My heart thump
ed wildly in my chest and I sucked in a deep breath a couple of times but I couldn’t. My heart was hurting. I was confused. And I was scared.
I heard the door open and it crashed against the wall with a loud noise. I jumped slightly and brought my knees closer to my chest as I lay under the bed. I tried to peek under the comforter and saw my mommy’s feet.
When I heard a strange and unfamiliar voice, my hands grew cold and my heart twisted.
“Maria. How lovely to see you again.”
“Alfredo,” Mommy replied, her voice hard.
“I’m surprised Lyov left you unprotected.”
“Why are you here?” Mommy asked in the same scary tone. That was the first time I ever heard my mommy talk that way.
“You know exactly why I am here, sweet Maria.”
Mommy screamed and I flinched. No. He was hurting her. The bad man was hurting my mommy. My eyes widened when I saw my mommy falling to the ground. Her face hit the ground and her big round belly was pushed hard against it. Mommy grabbed her stomach as she yelled in pain.
Holding her stomach, she cried out.
No. Princess! My mind screamed.
The bad man was hurting princess too. I couldn’t take it. I promised I would protect both Mommy and princess. I was about to move from under the bed when Mommy opened her eyes and made direct contact with mine. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she slightly shook her head. It was so small that I almost missed it but it was there.
And her eyes were begging me not to come out.
My nose tingled and my cheeks were wet. I realized that I was crying.
Mommy gave me a final look and then turned around while she still held her stomach. “Please, don’t do this. I beg you. Have mercy.”
A laugh boomed around the room and the man knelt down. I tried to see his face. It was hard but I got a tiny glimpse of it.
I hated him at first sight. How dare he? He hurt my mommy and princess.
“I can show you mercy if you agree to come with me. Be my whore and then maybe I could show you mercy.”
I didn’t understand what he meant but I felt relief. He said he wasn’t going to hurt my mommy. Oh, thank God.
Mommy’s eyes widened and she scrunched up her face in disgust. “Never,” she spat. “I will never allow another man to touch my body. I only belong to Lyov. I would rather die than have you touch me.”
No! I wanted to scream. Don’t say that, Mommy. Please, Mommy, do what he says. He won’t hurt you. I wanted to beg.
The man grunted. “Is that your final decision?”
Mommy didn’t answer but she kept her cold, unflinching eyes on the man.
“Well, okay then,” he said.
And then he was pointing a gun at my mommy’s forehead.
Oh, no! No! Please no!
“Why are you doing this?” Mommy whispered, her voice breaking.
“Don’t you know, Maria? The best way to bring a man down is by his weakness. And you, my sweet, are Lyov’s weakness.”
And with that, a loud bang filled the room.
I closed my eyes tightly and my heart rammed against my ribcage. Pulling my knees closer to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them. Burying my face in between my knees, I tried to hold in my cry. I promised. I promised I wouldn’t make a sound.
I couldn’t break the promise I made to Mommy.
My heart was hurting so bad and my body slowly started to go numb. I couldn’t feel anything. After counting to ten, I lifted my head up and slowly opened my eyes.
What I saw took my breath away. I felt dizzy and my eyes blurred with tears as they fell down my cheeks in a never ending flow.
My mommy’s head had rolled toward me and her face was covered in blood. Her eyes were open and staring directly at me. But instead of seeing the warm, sweet, and loving gaze that she always gave me, her bluish-steel colored eyes were lifeless.
My heart pounded. No. No. No. No.
My mommy. This couldn’t be happening.
Mommy.
Mommy.
I wanted to scream. But nothing came out.
My lips parted and a silent scream came out. I gasped and shook violently. Holding my knees close together, I buried my face in them again, crying silently.
As I cried, I thought about how I never got a chance to say ‘I love you’ back.
I fell down on my knees. The memories played over and over again in my head. I was suffocating and I brought my hands up to my throat, rubbing up and down forcefully.
My stomach cramped as I gasped for air. The pressure in my heart was painful. My lungs squeezed tightly together and I pressed a hand to my burning chest, trying hard to alleviate the pain. But nothing worked.
It never worked.
My pain was constant.
I had lived with it for twenty-two years. I should have been accustomed to it by now, but every time, it was worse. The pain never ceased. I was chained to my past.
Holding the side of the piano, I laid my head on it as the tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them. They fell freely and I squeezed my burning eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. So sorry,” I whispered through a broken voice.
Chapter 26
Ayla
Maddie squealed beside me. “Oh my God! This is hilarious!” She turned toward me, still chuckling. “You have to admit, this one was pretty funny.”
I shrugged and turned back toward the movie. We were watching Hangover 2. It was too vulgar for my taste.
Although I did find my stomach cramping from laughter when a man found out he had sex with another man whom he thought was a woman. I shivered when the truth was revealed. Too much nudity.
Maddie eventually paused the movie and turned toward me.
“Okay. What do you want to watch? You clearly aren’t enjoying this. C’mon, pick something funny and we will watch it,” she suggested.
Since my nightmare last night and my encounter with Alessio this morning, I had been a little down and quiet. I was constantly living in fear.
Maddie noticed and she made it her job to make my day brighter. She succeeded a couple of times. It was hard not to laugh at her enthusiasms and failed attempts. She embarrassed herself to make me laugh. And I was thankful for that.
“It’s pretty late,” I started and then smiled. “I think we should go to bed. I’m worn out.”
Maddie pouted and leaned against the arm of the couch. “But I barely even got you to laugh.”
“And that’s where you are wrong. You made me laugh at least five times and that’s amazing in my book. You made my day better, Maddie,” I said softly. Placing my hand on her knee, I gave it a squeeze.
“Are you going to talk to me?” she replied, her tone just as soft and inviting.
I wanted to. I wanted to tell her. It was tempting, but the fear instilled in me, it stopped me from taking a step toward that direction.
So, I shook my head sadly before looking down. “It’s okay,” Maddie murmured before wrapping her arms around me. “You can tell me when you are ready.”
Hugging her back, I nodded and then leaned back. She smiled and I felt my lips stretch into another smile.
We got up and made our way to the kitchen. Turning on the lights, she rummaged through the refrigerator and took out the poutine that Lena made for dessert.
“You want some?” Maddie asked as she closed the refrigerator.
I shook my head and she shrugged. Putting a spoonful in her mouth, she mumbled, “Let’s go.”
Maddie and I were about to say goodnight when we heard a door open. We both swiveled around and saw Alessio coming out of the gym.
My eyes widened and my body froze when he approached into the light.
Alessio wasn’t wearing his full suit. Instead he had his black linen shirt on, which was halfway unbuttoned and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. But that wasn’t what surprised me.
He was a mess. A bloody mess. There were cuts on his face and his cheeks
were swollen. His left eye was slightly swollen too and his lips were bleeding. He was limping, his body sagging forward.
“Oh my God,” Maddie gasped.
He looked lost, deep in thoughts. He held on to the banister and slowly made his way upstairs, his legs dragging. Pain was evident on his face and in his posture.
My forehead creased in confusion and I turned to Maddie. Her eyes were no longer on Alessio but she was staring at the gym door.
“I don’t want know how the other guys look,” she whispered, her eyes wide. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the door opened and they stepped out.
This time I was the one who gasped. They looked even worse. Maddie rushed forward and I quickly followed.
“What happened?” she asked, horrified.
“Fuck,” Viktor said, rubbing his hand over his face tiredly but he winced when his hand made contact with his face.
“Alfredo is dead,” Nikolay replied, his voice as deadly as ever.
At his words, my breath came out in a whoosh. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.
My mind twirled, my vision going slightly blurry. I blinked and gasped, my hand going to my neck as I started to rub up and down.
“What?” I whispered, my voice so little that it was barely audible.
“Alfredo is dead,” Nikolay repeated before closing his eyes with a tired sigh.
My father was dead.
I brought a shaky hand to my mouth as I tried to keep the tears at bay. I didn’t know why I was crying. Tears blinded my vision and I closed my eyes, trying to make them go away.
“Alessio isn’t taking it so well. Hell, I’m not taking it well! This was supposed to be our revenge,” Viktor hissed.
“Oh, dear,” Maddie whispered beside me. “He is doing badly, then?”
“Pretty bad,” Phoenix said.
They were leaning against the wall, all of them deep in thought. But the anger on their faces couldn’t be mistaken.
“You should go clean up. Alessio can’t have you losing it too,” Maddie suggested.