by Lylah James
“I should go,” I whispered. My heart was thumping fast against my chest and I had to get out of there. They couldn’t see me break down.
I nodded at Maddie and quickly walked away before they could reply. Closing my door, I leaned against it and sank down to my butt. Pulling my knees together, I placed my head on them and tried to breathe.
My eyes burned with unshed tears and my quiet gasps filled the silent dark room. There should have not been any tears. Not for my father, a man who gave me to a monster and turned a blind eye to my pain. But still, I couldn’t stop the tears.
My chest squeezed tight with pain and the tears fell freely down my cheeks. I cried for him and for the pain he caused me.
I cried for the love I could have had but never experienced because of him. In the end, I cried for me.
He took my peace, my freedom, my everything. Even though I should have hated him, I didn’t.
I just felt sad. I felt empty. Hollow. Weak.
Eventually, I found myself in bed. I stared into the distance, only the lamp on my nightstand was on, casting a soft glow around the room.
I didn’t know how long I stayed like that, but I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes. I thought of my father and Alberto. I was scared of the nightmares.
I turned around in bed and tried to find another comfortable position, but to no avail. Nothing worked.
Blowing out a tired breath, I rubbed my face in frustration and sat up in bed. My thoughts went to Alessio, and my body instantly grew tense. I could understand his anger and pain. After what my father had done, this was Alessio’s revenge.
He was going through a harder time than me. When I saw him, his pain was obvious and my heart ached.
To see a man like Alessio crumble, it hurt. It was painful.
And strangely, I wanted to offer comfort.
Maybe because I understood. Was it sympathy, or guilt?
I didn’t know, but through my pain, I felt his. And my heart was breaking for this man, who was my enemy.
The irony of it. An Abandonato wanting to comfort an Ivanshov.
My mind was a jumbled mess and I just wanted silence for a moment.
I closed my eyes and the first thing that flashed behind my closed lids was my grand piano. My eyes instantly snapped opened.
That was it.
The piano.
I knew we weren’t allowed in the room, but everyone was sleeping. Maybe I could just sneak in. Quickly getting off the bed, I padded to my door and quietly opened it. Looking left and right, I made sure that no one was in the hall before stepping out.
I softly tiptoed to the next room but immediately stopped when I saw the lights on. The door was slightly opened and I leaned forward, peeking inside.
My heart stuttered at the sight.
Alessio was sitting on the couch, facing the piano in the corner. There was a glass in his hand and he was staring intensely at the piano. He slowly brought the glass to his lips and chugged the rest of the drink in a gulp.
He looked horrible.
With my heart heavy and thumping fast in my chest, I started to quietly move away from the door but his voice stopped me.
“I know you are there.”
I froze and my eyes widened.
Placing my hand over my chest, I bit on my lips nervously.
Should I just leave? My mind and heart were in a constant battle.
In the end, I slowly opened the door wider and walked inside, but stopped at the entrance. Alessio didn’t look toward me but kept his eyes on the piano.
I shuffled on my feet nervously. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up.
“Do you come in here often?” he asked, his voice rough and hard. I shivered and shook my head quickly. When I realized he couldn’t see me, I whispered, “No.”
Then it was silence again.
I looked away from him and stared at the grand piano. It was beautiful and I instantly felt peaceful.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I took a few steps in the room and stood in the middle. My eyes were still on the piano and my fingers were itching to play. I wanted to feel the soft keys.
My shoulders sagged in defeat. I looked away from the piano and turned toward Alessio. He was already staring at me, his eyes intense but unreadable.
We stared at each other, our gazes never wavering.
After a few seconds, I swallowed hard and looked away. Moving my gaze to his chest, I followed the path down and almost gasped out loud.
His hands were bleeding, his knuckles bruised so bad. There were gashes all over, the skin torn off from his knuckles. He hadn’t cleaned up at all.
My heart squeezed at the sight.
I looked back up and saw his eyes still on me. Licking my lips nervously, I squeezed my cold hands in fists. Alessio gave me a blank look and then looked at the piano.
Silence again. There was no movement and it felt like we weren’t even breathing. “Do you play?” he asked gruffly.
My mouth fell open at his words. I never expected him to ask me that question. With my heart racing, I swallowed against the lump forming in my throat.
“Yes,” I responded.
Silence. I waited for him to say something but he didn’t. It was like I wasn’t even there anymore. But I still waited. I didn’t know exactly for what but my feet stayed grounded.
I tugged on the hem of my dress. What was I even waiting for?
I slowly backed away. Alessio needed time by himself.
Without looking up at him, I turned around and made my way out. But before I could a step out of the room, his voice stopped me. My steps faltered and at his words, my heart stuttered.
“Do you want to play?”
“I can play?” I asked, taking a step forward and away from the door.
He turned toward me. “Do you want to?”
I nodded, my body shaking with excitement. I couldn’t hold the smile the spread across my lips. I felt giddy.
He stared at me with the same dead eyes, but he slightly nodded toward the piano. That was the only indication I needed.
I walked toward the piano and stopped in front of it. With my heart light, I placed my fingers on the keys and closed my eyes.
When I looked at Alessio, he was staring at me intently, waiting.
With our gazes still connected, I let my fingers move. Softly. Gently. And a sweet melody came through. The music washed around us like a slow, gentle wave, and I smiled.
Alessio’s eyes widened. He brought his hand over his chest and pressed hard, as if he was having trouble breathing.
I closed my eyes and continued to play. My heart full of peace, I felt content. Happiness enveloped my body as my fingers moved swiftly over the keys of the piano.
This. This was what I needed.
Peace.
Chapter 27
Alessio
No one had touched the piano, not since my mother’s death. This was her piano.
My soul was in pain, my heart aching.
So, the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. For some reason, Ayla’s presence brought me comfort.
When the first melody came through, searing pain went through my heart and I brought my hand up, pressing it hard against my chest.
Twenty-two years since I’d heard someone play the piano. Twenty-two years since I heard this exact melody.
Ayla opened her eyes and looked directly at me. She was still smiling and then she closed them again. She continued to play, oblivious to the world around her. Her face was serene and she was lost into the music. A tiny smile remained on her lips.
She looked happy and at peace.
And as I listened, the pain in my heart started to diminish. It was still there, but I could breathe again. My tense muscles started to relax. My heart stuttered and I brought a shaky hand to my face.
I closed my eyes and felt something wet on my aching cheek. I was crying. A single tear. The music flowed and I swiped the tear away.
; “Mommy, play for me, please!” I begged.
She laughed and pulled me to the piano. “Okay, my baby.” She sat down and placed me on her lap. “There you go,” she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek before moving her attention to the piano. Mommy ran her fingers over the keys softly at first and then started to play. As soon as the music came through, I relaxed against her and sighed in contentment.
In no time, I was slowly falling asleep, as always.
This was my favorite part of the day. Just Mommy and me, and the piano.
I closed my eyes at the memory. It hurt, but my heart wasn’t squeezing in pain as it was before.
I could breathe without it feeling like I was being cut with a hundred sharp knives.
With my eyes still closed, I listened to Ayla playing. After a song, she played another. And then she started humming.
My eyes opened and I stared at her. Her eyes were closed, her body moving slowly with the music. My stomach twisted and my heart ached at the sight.
With her black hair falling down in waves around her shoulders, her cheeks flushed red and her white dress, only one thought came to mind.
Something that my father told me about, so many years ago. I shook my head and squeezed my hands in fists. A throbbing pain went through my fingers, but that wasn’t enough to snap me out of my thoughts.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Ayla.
As the soft, gentle and beautiful music continued to flow around us, enveloping us in a peaceful melody, I could only think of one thing.
Ayla.
She looked like an angel.
***
Lena
I was awake, my mind racing. In was one of those nights when I couldn’t stop thinking about Maria.
My eyes were closed, but when I heard a beautiful music, I opened them again, my forehead creasing in confusion. I quickly sat up. I looked at my ceiling and gasped. It was coming from the sitting room. The piano.
But how was it possible? Nobody was allowed in the room. No one except Alessio himself.
Who could be playing? I walked toward the music. As I drew closer, it sounded so beautiful, haunting yet peaceful.
No one had played the piano since Maria’s death. Lyov and Alessio had forbid it.
The door was open. Leaning against the wall, I peeked inside. Alessio was sitting on the couch. His eyes were focused intently on the piano, but it was his expression that took my breath away.
He looked completely mesmerized.
I leaned forward, and this time I had to press my hand over my mouth to stop the gasp that threatened to escape.
Ayla was playing the piano, her eyes closed as she hummed, a soft smile on her face.
I looked back and forth between them. They were both enthralled.
Ayla was lost in playing the piano while Alessio was lost in her.
I sniffed as the tears fell down my cheeks. What a beautiful sight.
Slowly stepping away from the door, I smiled. This was it, the moment I had been waiting for.
He is going to be okay, I thought.
Looking up at the ceiling, I softly whispered, “He is going to be okay. He found her, Maria.” Tears blinded my vision. “You can rest in peace now. Your sweet boy has found his angel.”
Chapter 28
Ayla
After playing the first song, I couldn’t help myself, so I didn’t stop. Instead, I played another. One of my favorite songs, called I Won’t Give Up. I used to play that every day.
As the song flowed around me, I felt myself singing to the melody. My voice was a quiet whisper, soft even to my ears. My racing heart slowed to a soothing beat.
After so long, I felt at peace and strangely hopeful.
The piano had always been my escape. When life failed me, my piano never did. It always gave me the sanctuary I needed. It always brought me the peace I was desperate for. And I was grateful I could feel that way again.
The second song ended and I played another one, hoping Alessio wouldn’t tell me to stop. But when I didn’t hear him, I continued to play. This time I played A Thousand Years.
As my fingers flowed on the keys and the third song came to an end, I slowly opened my eyes, instantly meeting Alessio’s gaze. His stare was intense, unflinching, and he looked deep in thought, and maybe a little lost.
My hands were still resting on the piano as we stared at each other. The smile on my face dissipated as nervousness filled my body.
As long as I was playing, I didn’t care what happened around me. Nothing mattered. But now, looking at Alessio, his eyes as intense as always, I grew anxious.
But though his stares were intense, they were warm. Something I never saw in him before.
When he didn’t move or say anything, I cleared my throat. At the sudden sound, his eyes widened and he looked away. He raked his bloody fingers through his hair.
I winced at the sight and got up and stood in front of the piano. From that position, Alessio wasn’t far from me, only a few feet away.
I could see his bruised face clearly and winced again. His cheeks were red and quickly turning into a slight purple shade. There was a cut on his eyebrow and dried blood covered his lips.
“You can leave,” Alessio said in a hard voice. Flinching at his sudden change of tone, I took a step back and hit the piano. My hands played with the hem of my dress in nervousness.
He was doing it again. From warm to cold in seconds.
“You should clean your wounds so they don’t get infected,” I said. Keeping my eyes on him, I watched for his reaction.
He didn’t give me any. Instead he glared at the wall to his side, his jaw locked tight together.
My heart started to gallop again as worry filled me. Maybe I had overstepped my limits. I shouldn’t have played the piano. I shouldn’t have even been there.
As I continued to fidget with my dress, I bit on my lips as my hands grew colder.
“I said leave!” Alessio growled.
My eyes widened and I scurried away from the piano. At the door, my steps faltered and I slowly looked over my shoulder. He had the brown glass bottle in his hand and he was staring at it, his other fist clenched tight. Shoulders heavy in defeat, I walked out of the room.
I knew he wasn’t going to clean his wounds. Alessio was too lost in his pain, and I understood his feelings. His pain made my heart ache because I knew what it felt like to be hopeless.
Making my way to my room, I got inside and turned on the lights. I quickly rummaged through my drawer and found the first aid kit. Holding it close my chest, I let out another sigh.
I was a little apprehensive to go back there. But maybe if the first aid kit was in front of him, he would clean his wounds. Without a second thought, I closed the drawer and quickly walked out of my room and made my way back.
The door was partially closed, exactly how I left it. I found myself chewing on my nails, but forced myself to put my hand down. After a few seconds of standing outside, shuffling from one foot to the other, I pushed the door open.
Peeking inside, I saw Alessio still sitting in the same spot. This time his head was resting on the back on the plush couch and his eyes were closed. He was still holding the bottle on his thigh, but it was empty. It had been half-full when I left.
My heart twisted at the thought of him drinking himself to oblivion.
I walked in and his eyes snapped open, annoyance and frustration clearly written on his face as he stared at the ceiling, refusing to look at me.
With shaky hands, I placed the first aid kit on the coffee table and then buried my hands in my skirt to hide the nervousness brewing inside of me.
His gaze moved toward the coffee table and then he closed them, silently dismissing my presence.
Time for me to leave, I thought, staring at Alessio’s emotionless face. Even though he was in pain, he didn’t show it.
To a man like him, feelings meant weakness. And there was no weakness in this life. Our weaknesses would only get us killed.
“Please clean your wounds,” I begged softly. After sparing him another glance, I walked away.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. After the moments I had with Alessio, no matter how awkward and weird it was, I didn’t want to go back to my room alone.
I also was scared of the nightmares. I was scared of the memories that would come to haunt me as soon as I would close my eyes. Alberto’s face haunted me.
I had just a few moments filled with serenity and now I was petrified of feeling the all-encompassing pain that blinded me.
Dread filled me as I approached my room.
I closed my eyes and willed myself to open the door. I just wished that I could sleep peacefully without memories haunting me.
Just as the thought went through my head, my eyes snapped open as I remembered the scene in my room a few nights ago.
I did have a peaceful sleep.
Alessio’s jacket.
It kept the nightmares away.
With wide eyes, my head swiveled to the left in the direction of Alessio’s room. The one right next to the piano room. Maybe, just maybe, if I had his jacket with me, I could sleep again.
It seemed pathetic, but I just wanted to sleep. Without fear, without pain twisting my heart.
Quickly making up my mind, I stepped away from my room and walked toward Alessio’s. My steps were slow, yet determined.
When I saw no one, I opened the door and slid inside. The room was dark and I searched for a light switch.
As soon as I found it, I turned on the lights and the room was instantly illuminated. Without wasting time, I made my way to his closet, filled with tailored suits and dress shirts. Most of his suits were dark colors, a representation of him. I couldn’t imagine Alessio wearing anything but dark colors.
With my heart beating wildly, I took a black suit jacket off the hanger and held it to my chest. I placed the empty hanger at the back of the closet so he wouldn’t find it.
Bringing the jacket up, I buried my face in the soft fabric and inhaled. The same scent of cologne filled my nose. My tense muscles started to relax and I sighed.