by Lylah James
With a resigned sigh, I got into our bed and pulled the covers over me. The bed felt big and empty without Alessio. It was the first time I would be sleeping without him since he brought me to his room.
My tears soaked his pillow as I laid on his side of the bed. His scent enveloped me, and my heart ached, knowing he wasn’t here with me. I had pushed him away, but I was now missing his presence.
I told him the truth about my past. Part of it. I still left out the part where I was an Abandonato. During our fight, the truth was at the tip of my tongue. I wished I could have told him, but the fear of his reaction always stopped me.
The irony of this situation was almost laughable.
I accused him of betraying me. But I was betraying him too. By keeping this truth from him, I was betraying his trust.
I was angry at Alessio, but some of that anger was directed to me too. And that was exactly why I needed him to leave. With Alessio, I was weak. My emotions were uncontrollable when he was around.
Closing my burning eyes, I hugged his pillow to my chest. I prayed that sleep would come fast.
But it didn’t. My chest was still unbearably tight.
Chapter 11
The next morning was filled with tension and anxiety. My stomach twisted dangerously, and my heart was constantly aching. Stepping out of our bedroom, I saw Viktor walking around the corner. His steps faltered at the sight of me.
Giving me a nod, he walked closer. “You should have let Alessio explain,” he stated curtly without any greeting.
“I heard what I needed to know. Nothing he would say can change the truth,” I replied, holding his cold eyes, and they burned into mine.
He shook his head. “And that’s where you are wrong. Let him explain, and you’ll understand.”
“He hurt me,” I whispered.
Viktor’s eyes softened, and he took a step closer until we were only inches apart. “He is a confused man, but he cares about you deeply.”
“If he cared, he wouldn’t have touched Sasha.” My voice was barely a whisper as Viktor’s words registered in my mind. I wanted so badly to believe him.
Alessio cared. I knew that. I saw it in his eyes. But his betrayal still left a gaping hole in me.
Viktor’s hand came up to my face, and he pressed his thumb lightly over my cheek, brushing away the single drop of tear that had escaped. I looked up and saw him glancing briefly over my head. Something flashed in his eyes. It was so quick I didn’t have a chance to catch it.
And then everything happened so fast.
One minute, Viktor was standing in front of me, comforting me in some way, and then his lips were on mine.
I blinked rapidly and let out a gasp, my hands going to his chest. He didn’t kiss me. His lips were just there, pressing into mine gently and almost feather light.
When I heard a roar from behind me, I flinched and quickly pulled away, Viktor releasing me without any struggle.
It was almost a blur. Viktor was ripped away and slammed against the wall; Alessio held him tight against the wall as he landed a few furious punches into his face.
“Oh my God,” I squeaked, my hands going to my mouth in shock. “Stop!” I yelled.
Alessio’s face was filled with murderous intent. Viktor punched him back, but it only pissed him off. “If you fucking touch her again, I will kill you,” he hissed into Viktor’s face.
Running to them, I tried to pull Alessio off Viktor. But he was unmovable. Holding his arm, I pulled hard, finally bringing his attention to me. Alessio glanced up, his glare intense and fierce.
“Stop! Let him go, Alessio.”
I felt his tense muscles relax under my fingers. That was when I noticed my hand on his back, and without thinking, I was rubbing his shoulders, almost soothingly. Quickly removing my hand, I took a step back, and he pushed himself away from Viktor.
Alessio tried to wrap his arms around me, but I skirted around him, moving away from his touch. “What is wrong with you?” Without waiting for his answer, I turned to Viktor. “And you? Don’t ever do that again.” Glancing at Alessio, I continued. “Don’t lower yourself to his level. You are better than that,” I said, my words meant for Viktor.
I watched Alessio flinch at my words, hurt flashing in his eyes. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling.
Giving the man who held my heart in the palm of his hands a final glance, I walked away. I heard him call my name, but I kept walking.
I needed Maddie.
Making my way to the kitchen, I found it empty. It was still early in the morning. She probably wasn’t even awake yet. I walked back upstairs, where I knew her room was.
I heard a sleepy reply, and a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal a half-asleep Maddie. “Ayla?” she questioned. “Is everything okay? I heard yelling.”
“No. Nothing is okay,” I replied, walking inside and closing the door behind me. Her eyes widened, and she quickly grabbed my hand, pulling me to the bed.
“What’s wrong? Did Alessio do something?” she asked, her voice rising with alarm.
Taking a deep breath, I let everything out. Her eyes glittered with anger at my words, and finally she let out a tired sigh when I finished. She placed a comforting hand over my knee.
“This is a mess.” I agreed. “Why didn’t you let him explain?” she questioned.
“I don’t know, Maddie. I was just so angry and hurt. If I had let him explain, I would have probably not believed anything he would have said,” I murmured, looking down at my lap.
“I can’t believe he would do something like that,” Maddie grumbled under her breath. “What are you going to do now?”
I closed my eyes with a sigh. “I don’t know.”
I didn’t know how to feel. So I was just going to retreat back and lick my wounds, needing time to think and understand.
I needed to be away from Alessio. Until this pain disappeared and I could breathe normally again, without it feeling like my chest was being squeezed tightly.
***
I was sitting on my bed when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” I called out, placing my book down.
The door opened, and Viktor walked in, holding a tray of food. I winced at the sight of him. His face was multiple shades of red and purple. When I raised an eyebrow at him in question, he grumbled something under his breath.
“What is this?” I asked as he placed the tray on the nightstand and sat down on the bed beside me.
“I brought you dinner. I heard from Maddie that you didn’t eat anything since this morning,” he replied briskly.
“Oh.” I looked at the tray and then back at him again. “Thank you.”
“Did you talk to Alessio?”
My shoulders went rigid at his name. We hadn’t seen each other since this morning, when he fought with Viktor. It wasn’t because of his lack of effort. Alessio had tried to talk to me on numerous occasions, but I walked away every time.
“No. I haven’t talked to him,” I replied before taking the book in my hands again. I stared at the pages but couldn’t bring myself to read. My concentration was elsewhere.
Viktor and I were both silent for a few minutes. “About this morning, I apologize.”
Glancing up at him, I waited for him to continue. He was staring at the wall, and I saw his lips lift up in a small smirk. “Scratch that. I’m not apologizing for kissing you.” He turned toward me before continuing. “I never apologize for kissing a pretty lady.”
I mentally scoffed and looked down at the book again. “But I had my reasons for doing what I did. I needed to get my point across.”
Curious to where he was going with this, I glanced up again, this time giving him my full attention. “To you, I needed you to see his reaction. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. He doesn’t give a shit if I fuck around with the other women he slept with. But you…only you can get that type of reaction out of him.”
My stomach warmed a
t his words.
“And it was barely even a kiss. He cares deeply, Ayla.”
My fingers tightened around the edge of my book as he continued. “And to him. He is a stubborn son of a bitch. He needed to come to his senses, and that was the perfect way to do it.”
I felt my heart wrench, and my eyes stung with unshed tears. Blinking them away, I refused to cry again.
When I didn’t answer, he got up and gave me a nod before walking away. As he neared the door, I called out, halting his movement.
My gaze moved to the tray on my nightstand. Keeping my eyes on it, I asked the question that I already knew the answer to.
“It was Alessio who sent you here, right?”
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Viktor turning around to face me. “He knew you didn’t eat. Alessio was bringing the tray to you but realized he wouldn’t be welcomed. He didn’t want to cause you anymore pain.”
His words made my heart ache. Not in a good way. A sense of guilt overcame me, but I quickly pushed it away. One thing I knew for sure was Alessio didn’t eat, either.
“Can you please make sure he eats?” I asked softly. Viktor sighed and then nodded before leaving the room.
As soon as the door was closed, I pushed my book away and laid down on my back, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully.
Maybe I was being too stubborn, but it had come to a point where I didn’t know how to face him.
All my life I never had a choice. Whatever was done to me, I had to accept it without any complaints. I didn’t want Alessio to think that everything was acceptable, because it wasn’t. I had a choice now.
I didn’t know how long I laid there, lost in my thoughts, but when I check the time, it was almost ten p.m. This was our time. Just us. Alessio would be waiting for me in the piano room.
My fingers were itching to play. I wanted to be there, but a small nagging part stopped me.
Chapter 12
Alessio
My heart raced as I made my way to the piano room. Sweat broke on my forehead and the back of my neck. Stopping in front of the room, I laid my hand on the knob. I sucked in a shaky breath, feeling my throat constrict.
I felt so uncertain. Worried. Scared. Panic rose like bile in my body, and my nerves were tingling.
Every minute spent without Ayla, it felt like I was going insane. My heart ached without her. I needed her. My Angel.
I wished she’d give me a chance to explain. From how it ended this morning, I wasn’t even sure she would be in the piano room. But I still hoped.
Blood rushed in my ears, and my pulse skyrocketed as I opened the door. A sea of anxiety curled in my stomach when I found the room dark and empty.
My Angel wasn’t here.
A wave of pain went through me as I stumbled back outside. How did I mess up so bad? I should have just accepted my feelings instead of trying to fight it.
Now…now I may have lost my Angel.
My heart stuttered, my eyes going wide. No. She was mine. My everything. I would have her listen to me, even if I had to fucking tie her to the bed. But she would listen to me.
At the thought of tying her to the bed, Ayla’s words resonated in my ears.
He used to beat me. He would chain me to our bed and then whip me if I did something wrong or what he perceived wrong.
I went still, my chest growing tight. Closing my eyes, a fresh wave of pain hit me with a ferocious intensity. Each of Ayla’s words felt like a serrated edge over my heart.
I never thought that Ayla had been through all of this. The thought of her going through so much pain made my blood boil, until the monster inside of me was raging to spill blood. His blood.
When I get my hands on the bastard, he is going down.
Opening my eyes again, I stared at the empty hall. Ayla needed to know what she meant to me, how important she was to me.
Stalking to our bedroom with a newfound confidence, I opened the door but frowned when I found the room empty.
She must be in her room. Last night was pure torture. I found that I couldn’t sleep without her. But tonight, that was going to change. Moving to her bedroom, I knocked on the door, but got no response. My fist moved over the door a few times, but there was only silence.
Confused, I opened the door but found this room empty and dark too.
What the fuck? Where was she?
Walking out, panic welled inside of me. My heart thumped harder as my stomach rolled with tension. I quickly walked down the hall, my hands going up to my hair in frustration, my fingers digging in my scalp.
“Ayla?” I called out.
I saw Viktor coming out of his room, and he looked at me confused. “Where’s Ayla?” I asked.
“She was in her room the last time I saw her,” he replied, alarm flashing in his eyes.
“She’s not there!”
My feet quickly took me down the stairs as I looked around the house in panic. My body trembled at the thought of losing Ayla.
Stopping at the last step, I saw Maddie coming toward me. Her stares were hard, and she scowled before turning her face away, ignoring me.
“Where’s Ayla?” I growled low, glaring at the stubborn woman in front of me. If there was someone who could answer this question, then it was Maddie.
Her chin went down in a defiant movement, and she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Fuck! Anger coursed through my body, and I roared, not caring that I would be waking everyone up.
“Where is she?”
Maddie’s eyes turned cold, and she stared at me blankly before stepping forward. Looking up at me, she hissed, “Fuck you.”
With that, she walked around me and went up the stairs. My whole body was vibrating with fury. And dread. Raking my fingers through my hair, I clenched them tightly as the muscle in my jaw ticked from the way I was gritting my teeth.
“I saw her going into Maddie’s room.”
Nikolay’s voice snapped me out of my dreadful thoughts, and I swiveled around to see him standing beside Viktor on the top of the stairs. He nodded, and I released a shaky breath, relief filling my body.
Without sparing them a glance, I quickly walked back upstairs and knocked on Maddie’s door. I heard quiet footsteps approaching from the opposite side, and my shoulder sagged in relief. She was in there. I could feel it.
The door opened a few seconds later, and there she stood, wearing her light pink nightdress. My heart squeezed at the sight of Ayla, and I just wanted to wrap my arms around her. I just wanted to hold her, feel her.
Her eyes widened at the sight of me, and she made a move to close the door, but I stopped her movement with my foot. “Ayla. Stop,” I growled.
Her lips twisted ruefully, and fire sparkled in her angry eyes. “Alessio, I told you—”
“I know what you said, but this time you are going to listen to me,” I continued, talking over her.
“No,” she snapped, her shoulders pushed back stubbornly.
“Why are you doing this?” I said with a sigh, a sense of defeat taking over me.
Ayla stared at me for a few seconds. I saw the hurt in there. Pain, guilt, anger, sadness. My Angel was hurting, and she wouldn’t even let me comfort her.
“You taught me how to be strong,” she started, her voice soft.
I blinked up at her, confused. But her next words were like a knife stabbing at my heart.
“This is me being strong.”
With that, she shut the door in my face. I didn’t have a chance to stop her. I was overwhelmed with shock as I stared at the door.
Placing my forehead on the door, I closed my eyes.
How am I going to fix this?
Chapter 13
Ayla
I was dreading opening my eyes. Falling asleep last night without Alessio was painful. I had to take my sleeping pills, just in case my nightmares came back.
In the back of my mind, I had this annoying voice whispering to me that it was my fault. But the other voice fought back, telling me I
needed time to think.
Holding the other pillow to my chest, I burrowed deeper under the comforter with a sigh before opening my eyes. But I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape at the sight in front of me.
“Alessio,” I breathed, my eyes fixated on his sleeping form.
Shoving the purple comforter from my body, I got off the bed and walked to him. He was sleeping on the chair beside the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, his head rolled to the side in what looked like an uncomfortable position.
His suit jacket was thrown carelessly on the floor while his black shirt was unbuttoned on the top, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing just a little of his tattoos that ended there.
I came to a stop in front of him, my heart thumping at the sight of his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, his forehead pinched with tension even in his sleep. He looked tired, his lips turned down in a frown. Leaning forward, my fingers brushed lightly over his forehead, softly easing the tense lines.
Alessio shifted slightly under my touch, and I quickly moved my hands away. He always looked peaceful in his sleep…but this time, he looked almost in pain. And I hated it.
I hated it even more knowing that I could be the cause of his pain.
Closing my eyes, I could still see his tormented expression from last night when I had closed the door in his face.
I opened my eyes again and slowly moved my fingers over Alessio’s face, caressing him but without touching him. I traced his lips, his eyes, his nose, his eyebrows, my fingers just an inch away from his skin.
“I don’t know what to do, Alessio. I don’t know what to feel. I’m so confused,” I whispered before pulling my hand away.
When I saw his forehead furrow at the sound of my voice, I quickly stepped back. Giving Alessio’s sleeping form a final glance, I turned around and walked to the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and shut my eyes.
Alessio was both my strength and my weakness. With him, my heart soared with happiness. Without him, I felt empty.