by Lylah James
She only closed her eyes. I smiled. I got my answer.
I joined her in bed and held her close. The baby danced around, and I rubbed the bump. “Settle down now. Your mommy needs her sleep.”
He moved again. Another kick. So fucking stubborn.
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. After some time, the baby finally settled, and Ayla fell asleep. Just when sleep started to cloud my mind, I heard a knock on the door.
I slowly moved away from Ayla. After making sure she was still asleep, I made my way to the door and softly opened it.
My eyes widened in shock at the sight in front of me.
“Maddie?”
Maddie stared at me, tears in her eyes. “Can I see her, please?”
Her voice sounded so small and fragile. I blinked a couple of times, trying to understand what was going on.
Maddie looked down, tears streaming down her face. “I should have come before but couldn’t find the courage. I’m sorry, Alessio. For leaving this on you. It’s…I…God, I can’t believe I left her alone when she needed me the most.”
I saw her face twisting in frustration as she wiped her tears away angrily. “But can I see her now? Please.”
I only nodded, stepping out of the way. Maddie quickly walked inside. I closed the door and watched her stop next to the bed. She cried softly.
When she joined Ayla in the bed, my heart soared. Finally! This was what they both needed. They needed each other.
I walked forward and saw Maddie wrap her arms around Ayla. Her eyes opened, and she stared blankly at Maddie.
She whispered something in Ayla’s ear and sobbed. Ayla closed her eyes again, and I knew she was asleep within seconds.
Maddie closed her eyes too. She continued crying softly, trying not to wake Ayla up. I moved the sofa chair next to the bed, beside Ayla, and sat down.
Leaning back, I watched Maddie cry herself to sleep. After some time, I heard the door open and saw Phoenix come in. His eyes instantly went to the bed, and when he saw Maddie there, I saw his shoulders sagging in relief.
He nodded at me and pulled a chair to Maddie’s side. We watched both our women sleep.
I didn’t miss the way Ayla slightly burrowed deeper in Maddie’s embrace.
My lips tilted up in a ghost smile.
A silver lining. Small and barely there. But definitely there.
There was hope.
Chapter 7
1 week later
“We’ll be there in ten minutes, Boss,” Nikolay said from the driver’s seat.
“Hmm…”
“What if it’s a trap?”
“I don’t think it is. Not after I tortured their president and we killed half of their men in a span of minutes. They’re too scared,” I muttered, looking out of the window.
I hated being away from Ayla. But when the Black Club called and told me they had an idea of Alberto’s whereabouts, I had no choice.
Two weeks and he went into hiding again. A fucking coward he was. He had left the country the same day we found Ayla.
Shaking my head in disgust, I fought the urge to break something. He was a threat I had to get rid of as quickly as possible. As long as he was alive, Ayla was in danger. The baby was in danger.
I looked down at my phone, debating if I should call Maddie or Viktor. It was the first time I had been away from Ayla since we rescued her.
Ayla was still the same. Little to no improvement.
She hadn’t touched the piano again. No matter how much I urged her.
She still hadn’t spoken a word. It felt like it had been years since I heard her voice.
If I didn’t feed her, she wouldn’t eat. And we had quickly come to realize that she would only eat if I fed her. Maddie had once tried, and Ayla refused to eat even a bite.
I looked down at my watch. Twenty minutes since I’d left the estate. Ayla was asleep when I left her, and I hoped she stayed asleep until I got home.
Five more minutes. I would walk in, get the fucking information, walk out, and then I would be on my way back to Ayla.
Five fucking minu—
My phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. Glancing at the screen, I saw Viktor calling. I quickly answered the call. “What is it? What happened?”
“Alessio,” he started but never had a chance to finish.
I heard a scream in the background. “No!”
Panic coursed through me, and I sat up straight, my hands shaking. “What’s going on?” I snapped, my voice heavy with fear. I saw Nikolay glancing at me in the rear-view mirror, his expression worried.
There were more screams, and then someone was sobbing.
Ayla!
“Alessio, it’s Ayla,” Viktor said quickly. “She woke up and didn’t find you there. Fuck! She completely lost it. I don’t know what to do.” His voice sounded strange. My heart clenched. Was he crying?
“I tried to get her to calm down, but as soon as I came near her, she would start screaming. Even Maddie and Lena can’t calm her down. She wouldn’t let anyone near her, and we’re worried she’ll hurt herself,” Viktor continued.
Something crashed in the background, and I sat, horrified, as I listened to Ayla screaming and crying.
“Alessio, she wants you. She won’t respond to anyone else. We tried. We fucking tried, but as soon as you left, she woke up. Maddie was with her, and Ayla completely snapped when she didn’t see you.”
“Viktor, do something, please!” I heard Maddie cry through the phone. “She’s going to hurt herself.”
I heard Viktor swear, and my heart stammered painfully. I closed my eyes as a wave of pain went through me.
“Can you get close enough to give her the phone?” I demanded. “Make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”
I heard screaming again. It was filled with so much pain, and I blinked away tears.
What have I done?
I should have never left her.
I opened my eyes to see Nikolay nodding at me. Without me saying anything, he was already changing the route and doing a U-turn.
Fuck the Black Club and Alberto. My Ayla needed me now.
I heard sobbing through the phone, and my heart lurched. “Angel,” I said gently.
She only cried.
“I’m sorry, Angel. So, so sorry. I’m coming home, okay? I will be there quickly. I didn’t leave you. I would never leave you. I just had something to take care of, and now I’m coming back home to you,” I whispered, hoping my voice would bring her back.
“You are so strong; you know that? The strongest person I know, and I am so in awe of you. Don’t cry, my sweet Angel. I am coming home and won’t leave you again. I’m not going anywhere.”
My voice broke over the words, and I closed my eyes as Ayla continued to quietly cry. Her cries were heartbreaking. It was agony to hear.
“Shhh…it’s okay. It’ll be okay. When I get back, I’ll take you to the creek. We’ll spend some time there. Just me and you, okay? What do you think? Would you like that?” I said, my fingers tightening around the phone.
“Will you play for me tonight?” I asked softly. “Or maybe do you want to dance? Remember how we danced before and you were smiling, laughing. You were so beautiful, my Angel. You took my breath away that day.” I held the phone tighter, desperate to get my feelings across to her.
“I’m coming home. Just a few more minutes and I will be in your arms again.” I kept talking even when I knew there would be no answer.
Her sobbing gradually dissolved to small hiccups. When the car finally stopped in front of the house, I breathed out. “I’m home, Angel,” I said before hanging up.
I opened the door and quickly got out. Running up the steps, I was almost at the door when a sharp pain shot through my wounded leg.
I limped inside the house. From the top of the stairs, I heard sobbing. Following it to my room, I pushed the door open.
My knees almost gave out at the sight in front of me. The room was completely trashe
d. Lena and Maddie were hugging each other next to the door, crying. Phoenix paced the room while Viktor stood in the middle, facing the corner next to the bed.
My hands curled into fists at my sides, and I moved forward slowly.
Ayla was on the floor, next to the nightstand. She sat against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest, rocking back and forth as she cried. She was curled into herself, as if hiding from everything and everyone.
My heart stuttered at the sight. She looked so broken, so fragile.
I turned to Viktor. He looked in pain. Shaking his head, he walked out of the room.
My gaze moved back to Ayla. Her face was hidden behind her arms. I walked forward and knelt down in front of Ayla. “Angel,” I whispered.
Her head snapped up, and she choked back a sob. Her eyes were red and filled with tears. Her cheeks flushed and wet. She looked at me with so much emotion that it was impossible for me to take.
So much pain. Sadness. Anger. Betrayal. Hurt.
I knew in that moment, she felt too much, too fast.
Ayla let out a loud cry, and in a flash, she was in my arms. We sank to the floor, and she climbed into my lap. With her face hidden in my chest, she burrowed deeper into my body like she wanted to hide in me.
I wrapped my arms around her and rocked her back and forth. “Shh…it’s okay, Angel. I’m here now, and I am not leaving you.”
Placing kisses on her head and face, I held her tighter. “I got you, Angel.”
Her arms went around me, holding me. Her fingers dug into my side as she cried in my chest. She never uttered a word. I didn’t urge her to.
I held her, and I knew it was enough for her. As long as she was in my arms, it was enough for me too.
The door closed behind us as everyone left. We stayed on the ground as Ayla continued to cry. I talked to her as I did before.
I carried her to bed. We laid under the covers, holding each other.
Her tears eventually stopped, and when silence fell upon us, I stopped talking too. I slightly pulled away and saw that her eyes were closed. I brushed her tears away and softly caressed her cheeks.
We stayed like this for some time, and finally, Ayla slowly blinked her eyes open. I tried to smile but found it hard to. My heart was in agony. It hurt so fucking much, it was almost impossible to breathe.
When Ayla stared at me, I sucked in a harsh breath.
The emotions I had seen in them before were now gone.
“Angel,” I whispered. “Let me see you…cry, be angry. Hit me. Scream at me. But I can’t bear to look into those empty eyes anymore.”
She continued to stare in silence and then closed her eyes.
That was it. I sighed and waited for her breathing to even out.
I slowly moved away and got off the bed. My leg continued to ache, the muscles contracting painfully as I limped.
After removing my coat and slacks, I examined the wound. It wasn’t bleeding, but it hurt as if the stitches were being ripped away from my skin.
I was taking off my shirt when I froze.
“You…are…hurt.”
My eyes widened, my mouth falling open.
That voice. That beautiful voice.
The words were so softly spoken, the voice slightly scratchy. But I heard it.
My throat was suddenly dry, and my heart drummed so loudly that I heard it in my own ears. My chest tightened. Swiveling around, I faced my Angel.
She was staring at my leg with her lifeless green eyes. But she fucking talked. To me.
I held my fist to my mouth, holding back my emotions before clearing my throat.
“I’m…okay,” I replied, taking a step forward.
Her gaze stayed fixated on my wound for another minute before she looked at me.
We stared at each other. Blue to green.
No more words were spoken by her.
Eventually, she closed her eyes and burrowed deeper under the cover.
This time, I smiled.
I had promised to give Ayla back her wings.
And I would continue to fight until my Angel could fly again.
Chapter 8
Ayla
I hate him.
The man with those beautiful blue eyes, I hated him.
I hated that he made me feel. I hated that his touch made me feel.
I wanted to go back to being numb, but he was persistent, never leaving me alone.
Alessio.
That was his name. My savior. But he was no longer my savior. I didn’t want him to be.
I wanted him to go away. I wanted to go back to not feeling anything.
I had fought it for so long. I fought him for so long. His voice, his touch, his gentle kisses, his soft blue eyes. I fought to stay numb.
But every day, it became harder.
I still wondered, though. Is it all dream?
Nothing made sense.
Everything was blurry. Everything hurt.
The Devil was no longer here. The Devil wasn’t hurting me anymore.
Only he was there. Alessio.
Whether my eyes were open or closed, he was there. He just wouldn’t leave me alone.
Sometimes, I didn’t know how to feel.
I used to hope for my savior to come. But was he real? Or was this the Devil’s trick?
Alessio’s touch didn’t hurt me. Not like the Devil’s.
No, his touch soothed me. When everything hurt, he soothed me.
He would hold me tight and whisper in my ears. Like he was doing now.
I closed my eyes and refused to listen to him. I didn’t want to hear his voice. His voice brought back memories.
Sometimes good. Sometimes painful. Everything was painful.
Even the good memories. But they didn’t make sense. I was always happy. And in those memories, Alessio was always there.
I hated him. I hated him so much.
I didn’t want him to touch me. I didn’t want him to whisper in my ears.
I wanted to scream.
But I couldn’t seem to find my voice. The Devil hated when I talked. So I stayed silent.
Even when Alessio talked endlessly and begged me to speak, I couldn’t. I didn’t. With my silence, I hoped he would go away.
“Angel, talk to me.”
His voice was both soothing and painful.
I dreamed of you before you came into my life. When I was a little boy, I dreamed of you. Black hair and green eyes, with a beautiful smile. My Angel.
I closed my eyes tightly against the flash of memories. I felt my chest tighten. Every time he spoke, he brought back memories.
I didn’t know if they were real. The piano, the flowers, or even that beautiful river.
He even called me Angel. Just like in my dreams.
My throat closed up, and I opened my eyes. I stared in his blue eyes. I always found myself lost in them.
He had those same blue eyes, just like I dreamed of. He really was my savior.
“Will you play for me, please?” He sounded like he was begging.
Do you want to play?
You can keep playing the piano if you want.
Have I done this before?
“I want to dance with you, Angel. I want to see you smile like before. I still remember that day. You were so happy, smiling and laughing. I can still hear your beautiful laughter as I twirl you around.”
May I have this dance, Angel?
I heard his voice in my head, although I knew he didn’t say them now.
There it was. Another memory that made it hard to breathe.
I felt his lips on my forehead. “I want to see you like that again.”
I closed my eyes against his words. His arms tightened around my waist.
“Look at me, Angel. C’mon, give me those beautiful green eyes.”
Ayla, look at me.
You know I’m not letting you go until you give me what I want.
Don’t ever look away from me again.
My eyes snap
ped open, and I saw Alessio smile.
His voice was in my head again.
“There you are.” He bent his head until our noses touched. “Don’t ever look away from me again.”
My heart stuttered. Those words—it was another memory. He hated when I looked away from him.
So many emotions crowding inside of me. I was going crazy. Nothing made sense. I was so lost.
But I didn’t want to be lost anymore.
Alessio brought his hand up, his finger touching my cheek. His touch was gentle, the opposite of the Devil’s.
“I’m going to change and then we’ll sleep. Okay?”
He got up, and I closed my eyes again.
You are more beautiful with your hair down.
I opened my eyes again when I heard Alessio. Our eyes made contact. He had called me beautiful.
My skin felt warm, and I felt a strange sensation in my heart. My stomach tightened.
I saw him removing his shirt. He was only in grey pants.
I usually sleep naked, but I thought you wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I can accommodate you with the sweatpants, but I hate sleeping in shirts.
His voice rang in my ears as he walked toward me. I saw him limping a little, his legs dragging behind him.
I felt a sudden surge of emotion. Just like before, when I had seen him hurt.
When I had spoken.
You are hurt.
Seeing him hurt made it painful for me. It reminded me of when I was hurt.
It reminded me of when I wanted someone to comfort me. When I wanted someone to speak to me, to make me feel better.
So I spoke.
And then I realized my mistake.
I had let him win.
After fighting so long to not feel, I had let myself feel.
Feeling made everything hurt. It hurt so much.
I wish I was back there. With the Devil.
Because then, I was numb. That was much better. Nothing hurt. The memories weren’t painful because I didn’t have any memories.
I wanted it to stay that way.
I didn’t want to hurt. Not anymore.
I turned away from Alessio. He only held me, his arm around my hips, his palm over my stomach.
He rubbed my belly gently. “Settle down now, little fighter.”