by Lylah James
So I held Ayla and watched over her as she slept.
For the first time in my life, I was clueless. And weak. I didn’t only fail Ayla, but I also failed the baby she was carrying.
It didn’t matter if it was mine or Alberto’s. The baby was innocent. It was part of Ayla. My hand moved to her round stomach again. Holding the bump in my hand, a sudden surge of possessiveness filled me.
Instead of pushing it away, I welcomed it. And with it, I let my anger fuel. Alberto wasn’t only going to pay for hurting Ayla. No, his pain would be twice as much now.
Ayla shifted in my arms, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at the clock to see some time had passed since she fell asleep. Ayla sleepily blinked her eyes open, and they made contact with mine.
We stared at each other, both our gazes unflinching. After some time, I felt her slightly moving in my arms. Releasing my tight hold on her, I watched her sit up.
She looked around the room, her eyes focusing on the wall in the corner. Without sparing me another glance, Ayla got up, and I quickly sat up in shock. My eyes followed her like a hawk, looking for any reaction.
But even when she slowly moved toward the wall, her expression held nothing.
I followed behind her, my stomach in knots as I waited for her next movement. If only she would talk. I was left trying to figure Ayla out. And with her silence, it was difficult to think like her.
I paused in my steps when I saw her stopping in front of the wall.
Confused, I took a step forward but froze when Ayla knelt down and sat against the wall. She finally brought her lifeless eyes to mine. My heart may have stopped beating then.
Or maybe I stopped breathing?
I was suffocating as I watched Ayla lay down against the wall, curling into herself. When realization finally dawn to me, I closed my eyes tightly, trying to shut the image in front of me. My fist curled at my side, my jaw grinding.
My body shook with vengeance. And pain. So much pain. Seeing my Ayla like this was slowly breaking me. When it came to Ayla, she was my weakness, but I was fighting for her.
Strength and weakness. Both battling together.
Opening my eyes again, I stared at Ayla as she laid in the same position as I found her in the dungeon. For months, she stayed like this. This position had been her constant.
My fingers tightened in fists. Taking a deep breath, I took a step forward.
Now, I was going to be her constant.
Stopping in front of Ayla, I knelt down beside her. Palming her cheek, I caressed her. Her eyes closed with a sigh, and they didn’t open again.
I laid down beside her on the hard floor and pulled her into my arms. She laid half on top of me, and I held her.
“I’m not going to leave you, Angel. No matter how much you fight against me, I’m not going to leave. I’m not giving up. You might have forgotten me, but I will make you remember again. That’s my promise, Angel.”
Those words were mere whispers, but they were everything to me.
I placed a kiss on her forehead and closed my eyes.
That was how we fell asleep.
On the floor, against the wall but in each other’s arms.
Chapter 6
I woke up with a start. My heart drummed wildly, my body drenched with sweat. The nightmares still haunted me, even awake. I didn’t think they would ever go away. Those memories were etched in my mind.
But it wasn’t just the nightmare that had pulled me from my troubled sleep.
No, it had been because I was alone.
The bed was empty beside me.
I frantically looked around the room, but Ayla was nowhere to be found. She never left the room. Hell, if it wasn’t me carrying her, she never left the bed.
I was out of bed in a flash and went to look for her in the bathroom. Panic clawed its way into my body when I found that empty too. My chest felt heavy as I ran out of the room.
“Ayla?” I called out. My feet stopped in front of the piano room, and I glanced at the door. I didn’t want to hope, but my heart accelerated as I moved closer.
With my eyes closed, my hand shook as I opened the door. I blinked my eyes open to meet darkness.
My Angel wasn’t here.
Fear welled up inside of me, and I shook with dread. A swell of noise burst from my throat. “Ayla?” I screamed as I ran down the stairs.
My fingers dug into my scalp in frustration and alarm. Screaming on top of my lungs, I hoped that my voice reached her.
“AYLA!”
I saw Viktor and Nikolay running down the stairs. Lena and the maids came out of the kitchen. Some of my men came running through the doors, looks of panic on their faces.
“Alessio?” Viktor questioned, coming to stand beside me.
“Ayla is gone,” I said shakily.
His eyes widened. “What? How?”
“I don’t know!” Growling in frustration, I pinched the bridge of my nose and paced. “We were sleeping. She was with me. I don’t know how she got up without me knowing.”
I saw Nikolay nodding at the other men, and they all rushed around the house. The maids followed suit to look for Ayla.
“Did you check the piano room?” Lena asked.
“Yes,” I snapped. “That was the first place I checked.”
“Where would she go?” Viktor muttered.
That was what I was afraid of. Ayla wasn’t in her right mind. It had been a week since we rescued her, but she was still as lost as the first day.
The only change was that she started eating yesterday. That was only after days of trying. I finally got her to stop sleeping on the floor. They were small changes, but they meant nothing as long as she stayed lifeless.
I walked around the house, my throat dry, my body feeling heavy as I searched for Ayla. My muscles were locked tight as I paced the house.
“Ayla? Ayla!” I called out, running down the stairs again.
Viktor followed closely behind me. He swore in frustration. I held the back of my neck, my fingers pressing against the muscle to release the tension building there.
She was nowhere. Where would she go?
If she wasn’t in our room or the piano room then—
My eyes widened in shock, and I almost stumbled back. No.
“Alessio?” I heard Viktor call out to me.
I didn’t turn around. With only one destination in my mind, I ran out of the house.
Was it possible? Ayla’s memories stayed stubbornly locked away, no matter how much I tried to bring them back.
Ayla was refusing to feel. Like she’d rather stay numb.
I blindly ran, sometimes slipping over the broken branches but quickly picking up the pace again. My wound was healing up, but running with such force was causing my leg to weaken under the pressure. A painful burning sensation traveled its way up my leg, and I stumbled forward.
I swore, holding onto the tree. My leg seized up, and I struggled to move forward. Fucking useless leg.
Pushing the pain at the back of my mind, I thought of Ayla.
With my wounded leg dragging heavily behind me, I limped forward.
When the trees started to clear up, turning into the beautiful field, my heart thumped a little wildly with hope.
I heard the rushing water, my eyes prickling as I remembered the times Ayla and I spent there. I hadn’t been there since she was taken away from me.
When the field finally came into view, I stopped and leaned against the tree. I fought to catch my breath as my gaze finally found Ayla. Her back was to me as she looked at the rushing water. She sat silently on the rock, her long black hair hanging loose on her back.
Walking forward, I stopped beside her. She stared straight ahead, completely ignoring my presence. I looked down at her face, hoping to see a smile or maybe even a little light in her eyes.
When I found none, my heart sank, and my stomach tightened in knots.
She only stared at the creek, her face devoid of emotion. Ayla wasn
’t affected by the beauty in front of her, not like the first time she had been here.
I knew the creek was something buried deep in her mind. Could it be that she was slowly remembering? Or maybe she was looking for peace—like before.
The piano room and the creek were the places she absolutely loved, the places that brought her peace.
And now she was blindly reaching for it again. Without even realizing it.
I knelt down in front of Ayla, wincing as my muscles protested against the pain in my leg. She kept her eyes on the creek behind me.
I smiled, being accustomed to this reaction. She wasn’t ignoring me. She knew I was there. My Angel just didn’t want to let herself feel.
Even thought I had realized that, it didn’t stop the pain in my heart. It didn’t stop the heartbreak I felt every time she stared at me with those empty green eyes.
The pain worsened every day. The loneliness clawed at me, the agony too much to bear sometimes. But I kept going. For Ayla, I stayed strong. I lived for her.
Palming her cheeks, I rubbed her soft skin. “You can’t leave like this. Do you know how worried I was, Angel? Everyone is looking for you. Waking up and not finding you beside me was the worst. You can’t do that again.”
No response.
I didn’t expect one. It was another thing I was accustomed to: talking to Ayla while I only got silence. Deep inside, she knew my voice. And stupidly, I believed that she heard me.
“You need to let me know where you go next time,” I admonished gently. “Lena almost had a heart attack. Let’s give the poor woman a break.
“Angel,” I said, kissing her nose. “Will you talk to me? Anything. Just say something. I can’t bear your silence anymore.”
Her eyes finally moved to mine. I almost jumped with joy. Such a small thing, but it meant so much.
“Please,” I finally begged. “Please, say something, Angel. I want to hear your voice. I need to hear your voice. Say something. Just one word…” my voice broke. Taking a deep breath, I continued. “…to let me know that you’re hearing me, that you know I’m here.”
When she stayed utterly silent, I looked down, trying so fucking hard to hold my stupid tears. What I saw made me suck in a painful breath.
This time…my soul cried.
Ayla was barefooted, and her feet were bruised and bloodied. She had walked from the house to the creek barefooted.
“Angel,” I whimpered. I could hear the way my voice broke. The tears slid down my cheeks. Just a few drops but it was so fucking hard.
I buried my face in Ayla’s lap and cried. “I am begging you. Say my name. I want to hear my name from your lips. I want to hear your voice.”
Holding her knees, I pressed my face in her thighs. “Just my name. That’s all I am asking. Please, Ayla. Please.”
Without any care of the world, I sobbed and begged. My heart broke a thousand times then.
With my face still buried in her lap, I waited. I felt Ayla shift. I almost felt her hand on my arm but then nothing. My Angel didn’t touch me. She didn’t hold me. She didn’t speak.
I waited some more. I waited for I didn’t know how long.
But I only got silence.
When my tears had finally dried, I leaned back and wiped my wet cheeks. Ayla stared at me blankly, and her eyes moved toward the water again.
“You were always stubborn, you know,” I whispered, touching her cheek softly. “I’m not giving up, Angel. You might not remember, but I once told you that I wasn’t giving up on you, and I had told you not to give up on us.”
I leaned forward, placing a feather-light kiss on her lips. “I am telling you this again. I am not giving up on you, so don’t give up on us.”
My lip tilted up in a small smile. “I am more stubborn than you. What I want, I get. And I want you.”
Her eyes stayed fixated on the creek, and I sat down on the ground. I waited, giving her some time to admire the view. I palmed her stomach, feeling the baby move at my touch.
The little one always moved whenever I touched Ayla’s stomach. It didn’t matter if it was in the middle of the night, the baby always responded to my touch.
Sometimes I felt like maybe we bonded. There was no stopping the way my heart clenched whenever I felt the baby move.
After some time, I got up and swept Ayla in my arms. Holding her to my chest, I walked back to the house.
When I finally got inside, I saw Lena’s eyes widen, and she rushed upstairs. Viktor came forward to help me but I walked past him. Making my way to my room, I walked into the bathroom instantly. Lena was close behind me.
“It’s okay. I’ll clean her up. Can you bring a tray up? She needs to eat,” I said, settling Ayla on the edge of the tub.
Lena nodded mutely and shuffled out of the bathroom. I turned Ayla around so her feet were in the tub.
“This is going to hurt a little,” I muttered. I cleaned her feet, rinsing away all the dirt and blood. All this time, Ayla didn’t make a sound or even shift. It was me wincing in pain for her.
When her feet were cleaned, I saw that the dirt and little blood had made it appear worse than it was. I sighed in relief and dried her feet before helping her out of the tub.
“Feeling better?” I asked, holding her in my embrace. She sighed in my chest, and I smiled, rubbing her back. With her baby bump in the way, I couldn’t hug her properly. But I held her as close as I could.
When my leg started to ache unbearably, I carried Ayla to bed and pulled the covers around her.
The tray was already on the nightstand. Sitting down in front of her, I picked up the spoon.
“Do you need anything else?” Lena asked.
I shook my head and held a spoonful of rice to Ayla’s lips. She took the first bite silently, and my heart soared. After so many days of trying and begging, she started eating yesterday.
For a week, Sam had her hooked up with an IV. It was the only way to get something in her body.
I fed Ayla another bite, and she ate, chewing and swallowing slowly.
Lena moved away from the bed. “How is Maddie?” I asked before she left the room.
She didn’t answer for some time, and I knew what her answer would be. “There is no change.”
The door closed, and I sighed, my heart heavy for Maddie. She had refused to leave her room. Or eat. She was a living ghost. I thought when Maddie heard Ayla was back, she would come to see her, but she stayed away.
Maddie had yet to see Ayla. In some ways, it was better this way. I didn’t think she had the strength to see Ayla in this state.
I continued to feed Ayla, taking a few bites as I watched her eat. Her gaze stayed fixated on me, as always. It was almost like a routine.
So I fed her and talked. She ate in silence and…maybe listened to me.
I talked about everything, sometimes mentioning Isaak and Lyov.
My father had been taking care of business all this time. He didn’t complain. No, he fell right back into the position of the Boss. Even though I refused to admit it, I was thankful he and Isaak were taking care of things.
They visited Ayla once. No words were spoken. It was quick, but I saw the look in their eyes. I knew they were seeing their women in Ayla. When Lyov had seen the baby bump, he had paled and walked out in a daze. Since then, he hadn’t come back.
When the tray was finally empty, I got up and stretched. Ayla’s gaze followed my movement, and I winked. “Do you want to go to the piano room?”
Silence.
I chuckled and lifted her off the bed. Placing a kiss on her head, I carried her to the piano room. I brought her there every day, hoping it would bring back memories.
I placed Ayla on the bench. She stared at me, and I gave her a small smile, even when the pain intensified.
This used to be our moment. And now, even that was gone.
“Do you remember playing?” I asked, kneeling beside her bench. Ayla looked at the piano keys but didn’t respond.
; “You used to play for me every night. It was our favorite time of the day. Just us together. You playing the piano while I watched you,” I continued. “Do you remember, Angel?”
When she didn’t answer, I let out a sigh. “It’s okay. I know you will remember. Maybe not now. But one day you will. Do you know why?”
I leaned forward. “Because I am a stubborn asshole, and I am not giving up on you,” I whispered in her ear. “One day soon, those beautiful green eyes of yours will look at me with the same amount of wonder and love as before.” Placing a kiss next to her ear, I finished, “Be prepared, kitten.”
I stood up and walked toward the couch. “I don’t play fair when it comes to things I want.”
I sat down, facing her. She looked at me for a second before turning her eyes to the piano again. We sat like this for hours maybe.
Until she played.
Just one key. One note.
My head snapped up, my eyes widening. I sat forward, hoping to hear more.
But that was it.
I smiled. So hard that my cheeks were hurting.
I wanted to be disappointed that there wasn’t more, but how could I when my Angel finally made a move?
Ayla looked up at me, and there it was—it was so small. Barely there. Or maybe I was just imagining it?
But then it was gone so fast that I would have missed it if I wasn’t staring so intently.
A very small glimpse of emotion in those lifeless green eyes. Ayla stared at me, her eyes empty again.
But my chest somehow felt a little lighter than before.
I stood up and walked to her, her gaze following me. I stopped beside her and saw that her fingers were still on the keys. Even though she played only one key, it felt like she had played a whole song.
“Do you know how beautiful you look? You are breathtaking, Angel,” I whispered, sweeping her in my arms again. “Especially when you play the piano.”
I carried her back to our bedroom, and I felt surprisingly light.
Ayla laid on the bed, and I pulled the covers over her. “You want to sleep?”