by Lylah James
“You want to remember, don’t you?” I asked, holding her hands in mine. Ayla nodded, hiding her face in my chest.
I sighed, entwining our fingers together. “I want you to remember too.”
She didn’t say anything. Silence fell upon us, and for the first time, I didn’t like the silence between us. I wanted her voice.
Ayla took her hands out of mine and placed them on the piano again. I sucked in a sharp breath as her fingers made contact with the piano keys.
My lungs felt like they were pressed together as I fought to breathe.
Ayla pressed down on the keys, and a few notes filled the room. My heart stuttered when she closed her eyes, a pained look on her face.
My Angel hiccupped back a sob and pushed her face in my chest again. Her voice was a mere whisper. “I…can’t…”
Tilting her head up, I kissed her softly. “Let me in, Angel. Just give me a chance to prove to you that there is a beautiful world out there. Let me love you the way you deserve,” I begged against her full lips.
I sat frozen when Ayla brought her hands up. Her hands hovered over my cheeks for a second. I caught the flash of uncertainty on her face before she finally palmed my cheeks. Her eyes were closed, but her fingers moved over my rough stubble.
Ayla mindlessly caressed my cheek as she let out a pained sigh. “I don’t remember. I try, but I can’t.”
She laid her head on my shoulder, her hand still touching me. “My head…hurts when I try.”
Ayla brought her other hand to my chest. “And it hurts here too. I don’t want to remember…because it hurts.”
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until my chest began to burn. I forced myself to relax even though I was feeling anything but calm.
A mixture of grief, pain, regret, and love swamped me as I fought to catch my breath. So much grief. For everything we had lost. And love—for this woman.
I held her hand firmly against my chest, right over my wildly beating heart. “I’m in pain too, Angel,” I said quietly. “Every time I see you in pain, it hurts.”
Her hand paused over my cheek. “I…don’t want you to…hurt. I don’t like it.”
I held her tighter, sadness so thick in my chest I could barely breathe. My heart ached at her words and the sorrow in her voice.
This woman. I shook my head. She was hurt and in pain, yet she was worried for me.
“Alessio,” she murmured. My lungs squeezed at the sound of my name.
“Do you know how much I love hearing my name from your lips?” I said to her. I would never grow tired of hearing Ayla say my name.
She hummed against my neck. “I remember your name. And…your eyes.”
My lips tilted in a small smile. She actually remembered me. “Say my name again,” I begged softly.
“Alessio,” she whispered. I felt her smile without even seeing it. My own smile widened, my chest finally feeling lighter. Placing a kiss on her forehead, I stood up with Ayla in my arms.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on to me as I carried us back to our room. Just when I was about to place Ayla on the bed, I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I called out, already knowing who it was. Ayla settled on the bed and looked over my shoulder. A half-smile curved her lips, and her face softened.
“Ah, there is my girl,” Lena said, stopping beside the bed. She pushed me away and sat down beside Ayla.
Lena placed a small bowl of warm coconut oil on the nightstand. “Are you ready for your massage?” she asked with a wink.
Ayla nodded enthusiastically. She looked up at me, a beautiful smile playing across her lips. Her cheeks were slightly flushed with giddy excitement. She looked…happy. A little shy, but at peace.
“Here,” Lena said, adjusting the pillow and helping Ayla recline back. Ayla pulled her dress up until her rounded stomach was bare. Her hands went to the bump, and she caressed it softly.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. With her black hair spread across the pillow, her cheeks pink, and her green eyes twinkling, she looked like an Angel. She was glowing.
“I loved having my belly rubbed when I was pregnant with Maddie,” Lena said, her voice snapping me out of my thoughts. She took some oil in her hand and brought it to Ayla’s stomach.
Lena had been doing that for a few nights now. And it was something Ayla excitedly waited for. I could see it was how Lena and her bonded again.
I watched Ayla stare at her stomach as Lena rubbed the warm coconut oil over the roundness. I saw the bump move under Lena’s touch.
“Ah, she is dancing in there,” Lena laughed. “Such a happy baby.”
Lena continued to gently massage Ayla’s stomach. “You have a beautiful pregnant belly. But you see how your skin is stretched tight?”
Ayla nodded, waiting for Lena to continue. “The coconut oil will smooth out your tight belly. This way you won’t feel too uncomfortable. And it soothes itching skin too.”
Ayla nodded again. She bit on her lips, suddenly looking nervous. Her eyes went up to meet mine before quickly moving back to Lena’s. “It feels good,” she whispered.
Lena paused, her lips parting in surprise. It was the first time Ayla spoke to her. From where I was standing, I saw tears forming in her eyes, and she looked down at Ayla’s stomach.
“I’m glad,” Lena replied, her voice a little hoarse. I took a few steps back, giving them privacy. This was their moment.
Lena talked mindlessly. And Ayla, she listened attentively, taking every word in.
After massaging the baby bump and Ayla’s back, Lena pulled the comforter over her.
Ayla was almost asleep. Her eyes were drooping, her breathing evening out. A small contented smile was still on her lips.
Lena came to stand in front of me. She patted my cheeks. “Keep doing what you’re doing. She…spoke to me after so long. And I know, if it wasn’t for you fighting to bring her back, she would have never taken that step. It’s all you.”
My chest grew tight at her words. My eyes moved to Ayla’s sleeping form, and I could almost feel my heart stutter.
“She’s been through hell. But you give her so much love, all the love you can give, so it’ll erase her pain and suffering. Don’t stop loving her,” Lena whispered before leaving.
She closed the door, leaving me alone with her words ringing through my ears.
She has been through hell.
I pinched my eyes closed at the reminder.
My beautiful Angel.
I dug my hand into my hair. I was the cause of her pain and suffering. If I had protected her, this wouldn’t have happened. I fucking failed her.
My eyes opened to see Ayla sound asleep. She was holding her bump, and my throat felt tight.
Ayla should have been loved, cherished, and pampered all through her pregnancy. She should have been waited on hand and foot, treated like a queen.
But instead, she had to live through hell. He broke her.
I took a step toward the bed, fighting the tears. If only I could rewrite the past.
Don’t stop loving her.
Never. I could never stop loving her. It was impossible. She was under my skin, etched deep in my heart. Ayla had broken through my walls and was there to stay.
My father was right. I was incomplete without her.
Ayla was like a drug. The most addictive kind.
Stopping in front of the bed, I caressed Ayla’s hair. She moaned sleepily and didn’t wake up. Smiling, I climbed on the bed and pulled her into my arms.
Ayla settled in my embrace and wrapped her arm around my waist. She pushed her face in my chest and sighed sleepily.
Ayla once said that she was fire. I had to agree. She was fire. We were both burning, but it was too late. There was no stopping our love—it was indestructible.
Chapter 12
Ayla
Do you want to play?
I ran my fingers on the keys but never pressed down. Opening my eyes again,
I looked directly at Alessio. He was staring at me intently, waiting.
With our gazes still connected, I let my fingers move. Softly. Gently. And a sweet melody came through. The music washed around us like a slow, gentle wave, and I smiled.
You can keep playing the piano if you want.
Play for me, Angel.
I want to hear you play.
I woke up with a start, my eyes snapping wide.
Do you want to play?
The words resonated in my ears.
Play for me, Angel.
I looked down at Alessio and saw him waking up too. He quickly sat up, staring at me in confusion.
“Angel?”
Play for me, Angel.
I rubbed at my chest, trying to get rid of the tightness there.
You can keep playing the piano if you want.
My eyes moved to the door, my breathing coming out faster than before.
“Ayla, what’s wrong?” Alessio asked.
Play for me, Angel.
My fingers were itching. The urge was fierce and intense. My body was humming with the need to play. I didn’t understand the feeling.
But it felt like I would suffocate if I didn’t play.
Alessio’s voice kept ringing through my ears.
All the memories were coming like flashes behind my eyes.
Play for me, Angel.
I gasped, trying to breathe as my lungs constricted. Without thinking, I got out of bed. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach but ignored it.
I heard Alessio calling my name…I ignored him too. I ran out of the bedroom, my feet taking me to the piano room. I opened the door and walked inside.
I turned on the lights, and the room was instantly illuminated. I felt Alessio behind me, and my tensed shoulders started to relax.
Taking a deep breath, I walked further inside and stopped in front of the piano.
“Angel,” Alessio whispered. I could hear the surprise in his voice.
Do you want to play?
Yes. Yes. Yes. I wanted to play. There was a fiery desperation in my heart. I wanted to break down and cry from the feeling. It was too much. It felt too much.
Play for me, Angel.
I wanted to. I wanted to play for Alessio.
But I didn’t know how.
I closed my eyes, feeling a slow ache in my temple.
Play for me, Angel.
I sat down on the bench, keeping my eyes closed.
The moment my fingers made contact with the piano, I was lost. Lost in this feeling that took over me.
I was no longer my own. My mind went back to so many days ago.
My fingers glided over the piano. I didn’t think. I just let it happen.
Softly. Gently. I played.
Notes kept spilling from the piano, and a sweet melody came through. The music washed over me like a sweet, gentle wave.
I opened my eyes and made direct contact with Alessio’s blue ones. He was sitting on the couch, his expression filled with astonishment.
I saw it change into something else. I didn’t understand what it was, but his face softened, and a smile played across his lips.
He brought his fists to his lips. I noticed his hands shaking.
My lips moved…I was smiling.
With the melody playing around us, I stared at Alessio.
We stared at each other.
Blue to green.
It felt like I could finally breathe.
In that moment, I forgot everything. Every hurt. Every pain. Every bad memory.
Only this moment existed.
Me playing the piano. Alessio watching me.
I felt…peace.
I didn’t realize the song had ended and I had stop playing until Alessio stood up. Snapping out of my daze, I watched him move beside me.
Alessio knelt down beside me and took my hands in his. “Do you remember, Angel?”
My heart sank at his question. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes in despair.
“I only remember playing…the piano. I don’t even remember the song or how I played. It…just…happened,” I said quietly.
“Open your eyes, Ayla.”
My eyes snapped open at his demand. “It’s okay. Take your time. I will wait for you,” he soothed.
He palmed my cheeks. “Hearing you play, that was the most beautiful thing ever. I feel like I can finally breathe, Angel.”
He was the same as me. I pinched my eyes closed when they stung. Alessio swept me up in his arms and carried me out of the room.
On the bed, I burrowed deeper into his chest. His lips touched my forehead softly.
This was how we fell asleep. In each other’s arms.
And nothing hurt.
***
“You know, I’m feeling very jealous right now. You talk to Alessio and even spoke to Mom a few days ago. How is that fair?”
The woman with dark hair wrapped her arms with mine. Her name was Maddie. She was always with me if Alessio wasn’t. She took me everywhere around the house. Maddie spoke a lot too.
“You still won’t speak to me,” she muttered.
My chest grew tight at her pained expression. “Why won’t you talk to me? Are you angry with me?”
I shook my head quickly. Swallowing hard, I looked in her eyes. She seemed familiar, but I just couldn’t remember her.
When I didn’t say anything, she sighed and gave me a sad smile. I didn’t like the sad smile on her face. She was nice and sweet. Just like Alessio and Lena.
Maddie started to walk again, but I didn’t. She turned around and faced me. “What’s wrong?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Opening my eyes again, I looked at her. “I…don’t remember you.”
Her mouth fell open. We stared at each other in silence before she started laughing.
I didn’t understand why she was laughing. She wiped away tears from her eyes and pulled me into her arms.
“Ayla, you just made me the happiest woman,” she said in my neck.
I hugged her back.
Her laughter died, and I heard sniffling. My heart stuttered when I felt wetness on my neck. Was she crying?
I went to pull away, but her arms tightened. “I’m sorry, Ayla. I’m so sorry. If only I knew,” she cried.
What was she talking about?
Maddie continued to sob. “It hurts, Ayla. It hurts so much. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe. I lost him. I…lost…him. I’ll never hold him.”
Confused, I just hugged her. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t know how to help, so I just held her. Like Alessio held me when I was hurting.
I hoped it was enough for Maddie.
When Maddie finally calmed down, she pulled away. She gave me a sweet smile. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed that.”
Bringing my hand up, I wiped her tears. “Okay,” I replied.
Maddie’s lips wobbled, and she pinched her eyes closed. “Damn it, Ayla. Don’t make me cry again.”
“I don’t…like…it when you cry.”
“You really are an Angel.” She laughed.
I nodded. “Alessio calls me Angel.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because he is such a romantic at heart.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “I will tell you a secret.”
“Okay,” I said as she pulled me closer.
“If it wasn’t for me, that hard-ass Mafia man and his Angel would have never been one. Let’s just say, I’m the captain of the ship.”
Maddie winked and smiled. She was really pretty when she smiled.
“I don’t understand,” I finally said.
“You don’t have to understand. Just know that this ship will never sink under my watch,” Maddie replied.
We walked down the stairs, but my steps froze when I saw who was standing at the bottom. Maddie stopped beside me too.
“Ayla, how nice to see you again.”
The woman with blonde hair smiled at me, but i
t didn’t look nice. She was the same woman who was with Alessio before.
I felt a sudden surge of emotion inside of me.
I didn’t like her.
“Nina,” Maddie growled beside me.
The name sounded so familiar. I felt like I knew her before. But I couldn’t remember.
“Fine, I won’t say anything this time.”
“Please don’t. Nobody wants to hear your bullshit,” Maddie snapped.
Nina rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs. She kept her eyes on me, and I almost shuddered at the cold look she gave me.
“I don’t know why Alessio is still interested in you,” she muttered, walking past me.
You are so…stiff
Do you really think you can keep Alessio interested for long?
I’m more like him. We have always been compatible.
My lips parted as the memory crashed through me.
“I remember you,” I said, turning around. Nina stopped and faced me.
“Oh really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
I didn’t understand the memories, but they were there. She was there.
I rubbed my forehead, trying to get rid of the small ache.
“I don’t like you,” I whispered.
I saw Nina smile. But it was quickly gone.
“I know,” she said before walking away.
Maddie huffed beside me and started to pull me down the stairs. “I swear I will kick her one day.”
I was still lost in my thoughts, trying to understand what just happened, when Maddie halted in her steps.
I stopped and looked up to see Alessio coming through the door. At the sight of me, he quickly made his way to us.
Alessio pressed his lips on mine and then said, “Do you want to go the creek?”
I simply nodded, lost in his embrace and beautiful blue eyes.
I quickly forgot about Nina. I only saw Alessio.
He nodded at Maddie and pulled me away. I waved at Maddie and followed Alessio.
We walked away from the house and toward the trees. My hand was held firmly in his much bigger one while we made our way to the creek.
The trees started to clear up, and I could hear the sound of rushing water. My heart drummed faster, and I felt giddy.