A Widow's Salvation

by Becky Lower

  When he had a spare moment, he considered the war effort. If the Confederacy kept winning battles, the war would continue to grind on into next year. The Union needed to put a stranglehold on the South by stopping supplies from getting through. If Southern women had no flour to cook with, to make bread to feed their hungry children, they’d rise up against the Confederacy and demand this foolish war cease. Elijah rolled his shoulders at the thought of so many young children going to bed hungry. The war truly did affect everyone. But if hunger brought a quicker end to the war, the better it would be. It had already gone on way too long.

  He missed his family and the children he had come to think of as his own. But he was being selfish, since most of the men who came into his hospital could count the time away from their families in years, not days. He squared his shoulders and prepared for the next man he was to operate on. At least he could save some of them so they could once again see their loved ones.

  He emerged from the operating room hours later. Two men had died on the table. But he had completed operations on several others, who had a chance of survival, anyway. His despair over the deaths he’d witnessed numbed him. He washed his hands of the blood, relieved himself, and walked to his office, hoping for a quick nap.

  The scent of yeast rolls greeted him, along with his wife’s signature fragrance. Pepper stood, brushed the furrow between his brows, and kissed him softly.

  “You are tired.” She ran her fingers down his face, pausing at the bags under his eyes. Her lips rose to kiss the telltale signs of fatigue.

  “But you’ve brightened my day by being here.”

  “I’ve read about the battle in the papers and discussed it with Papa. Do you think we’re fighting a lost cause?” She moved from his embrace and began to set the food out on his desk.

  “The Union has a stronger arsenal and controls most of the shipping lanes from overseas. But the South is fighting for a way of life. Until they are soundly defeated once and for all, they will continue. And we will continue to lose more men.”

  Elijah sat for the first time in twelve hours and eyed the succulent beef and rolls, along with a large helping of green beans, which had been seasoned with bacon.

  “But enough war talk. I’m hungry.”

  “I’m grateful you still have an appetite for Cook’s goodies.”

  Elijah smiled across the desk at Pepper. “The way to a man’s heart … ”

  “You need your strength. More men are being unloaded from the train station and are on their way. Mother and I passed a few wagons on our way here this morning.”

  “Will you stay for a while, then?” He stopped eating and took hold of her hand, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin. Some of his numbness dissipated.

  “Yes, we’ll stay as long as we can. Men are once again lying in the hallway, lined up and waiting. The least I can do is offer them a drink of water and an encouraging word.”

  He glanced across the desk at her. “You do much more than that, my love. Already, you’ve provided me with sustenance so I can continue to work. And you’ve made me realize how lucky I am, to have you and the children to come home to.”

  Her eyes wandered over his face. “And we’ll be there, waiting for you when your work is done. Right now, though, Elijah, your place is here. You won’t be home any time soon with the wounded coming up in droves from the South. And we both have work to do. Let me massage your shoulders while you eat.” She rose and stood behind him while he enjoyed the meal.

  He finished off his meal in record time and, with a final kiss, left his wife and walked back to the operating room for another round of surgeries. He wondered how many days would pass before he’d see her again.

  • • •

  Pepper laid her fork on her parents’ dining table and glanced around the room. The aroma of bacon, eggs, and cheese hung in the air. The setting reminded her of old times, simpler times, when she and her brothers and sisters all crowded around this table for meals, jostling each other and vying for attention. Except now, there was only fifteen-year-old Saffron left at home with her parents. And Pepper, who was here as much as she was at her own home. Now that Elijah was part of her life, she didn’t enjoy the solitude of her own home anymore, and, if he couldn’t make it home, she arranged for herself and the boys to spend an occasional overnight at her parents’ home. Elijah spent as much time as he could at their home, but the war had picked up in intensity, so she had only had a handful of nights with him since summer began.

  She guessed she should have been grateful the vast amount of carnage kept her husband employed, even with his frantic misuse of the Army’s horseflesh when he sensed his family was in danger the night of their engagement dinner and drove the poor mount to total exhaustion in his haste to get to the restaurant. Still, she wished there would be no more deaths on the battlefield.

  The wounded were beginning to arrive from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, the bloodiest battle of the war to date, and days went by before Elijah could take enough time off from the surgical ward to come home for an overnight. When he did manage to find some down time, often his exhaustion won out and he slept like a stone next to her instead of pleasuring her. She welcomed his warm body in her bed, since merely having him near made her body hum with contentment. But she wondered for how much longer her life would be impacted by the ungodly war.

  She might have been impacted by the war, but it was not going to slow her down. She and Charlotte had toured several brownstones that were for sale. Each time, Pepper held her breath and said a little prayer that the house would suit their needs. Yet, each time, there had been something undesirable with each offering. She had almost given up. The inventory of houses was not great in her desired neighborhood, and the thought of moving to another part of town was frightening to her. But she wanted a place that was hers and Elijah’s, not hers and Michael’s.

  “Mother, I think we need to go out again tomorrow and search for a new home in a new neighborhood.”

  Her mother glanced up from buttering her toast, her brown eyes brimming with mirth. “I agree, Pepper. We do need to find a new home for you, so you can start your life afresh. But even though we’ve toured every house in the area and haven’t found anything suitable, I hate the idea of you being in another part of town.”

  George patted his stomach before he shoved his chair back from the table and gazed at the women. “There is one more I think you should take a look at. The owner came to the bank two days ago, wishing to sell it. Her husband was a casualty at Chancellorsville, and she has decided to move west with her daughter and her family.”

  “This blasted war.” Saffron glanced up from her oatmeal and wrinkled her nose. “I hate what it’s done to our country. And to my life.”

  Pepper glanced at her sister. “Yes, Saffron, I’m afraid you’re paying a high price for the freedom of the slaves. We all are.”

  “I’m sorry, Pepper, for being selfish about this. You’ve paid the biggest price of all.”

  Pepper leaned across the table and patted her sister’s hand before turning to her father. “I’d love to see the house, Papa. How many bedrooms does it have?”

  “I believe there are five bedrooms. More than enough for your family.”

  “My current family, yes.”

  Charlotte put her fingers to her lips, and her eyes filled with tears. “Are you telling me you’re expecting?”

  Pepper reached over and squeezed her mother’s hand. Laughter bubbled up from her, and she smiled. “No, Mother, and quit fishing for information. Elijah and I haven’t had enough nights together since the war erupted again. But we do want children. What better way to bring America back to its rightful place in the world than to populate it with young, strong men and women who will mend our country from the ghastly war we’re dealing with and help us become a force to be reckoned with?”

  Charlotte took a last bite of her toast and set it aside. “Well, Gettysburg or no, you need to spend some time with your husband. We’ll
make a trip to the hospital in the next day or two, just so you can see him. I’m sure the hospital would welcome an extra couple sets of hands.”

  George rose from the table, picking up his folded newspaper. “They’re calling Gettysburg the bloodiest three days in American history. Maybe now the Confederates will realize they can’t win this war, and it’ll soon be over.”

  Pepper sighed before she stood. “I have my doubts, Papa. But all we can do is carry on until both sides lay down their weapons. I’m looking forward to seeing the house tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be the right one. And maybe we can think of something other than war for a change.”

  She walked to her father’s side and deposited a peck on his cheek. He grasped one of her hands before she could step back.

  “That’s the spirit, Pepper. We may not be able to stop the war, but we can keep it from devouring us and our way of life. I’ll set up the visit to the house with the current owner.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The next day, Pepper and Charlotte, along with George, stood quietly on the sidewalk in front of the imposing brownstone. Pepper noticed the graceful filigree of the wrought-iron railing leading up to the front door. Black shutters adorned each window from the four levels of living space, plus a basement and an attic, which would provide more than ample space for her family. She brought a hand to her nervous stomach as she glanced at the structure.

  “This is it, Papa.”

  “You can tell even before you step inside?”

  “It feels right. The neighborhood is wonderful, and the house is lovely. But you’re correct, we should take a look inside, just to be certain.”

  With her arm around her mother, Pepper walked into the house. Her new house. Her initial assessment from the street had been accurate. The home was all she’d hoped for and more. There were a few places where she could see room for improvement from an aesthetic standpoint, but the house had good bones, room for the servants to be adequately housed, a great kitchen that her cook would be proud to oversee, bedrooms for each of the boys, and a beautiful nursery.

  “I must go to the hospital and tell Elijah of this find. We need to place an offer on it as soon as possible.”

  • • •

  The next afternoon, Pepper and her mother rode out in a small carriage to MacDougall Hospital in the Bronx. They wove their way through the sea of battered bodies laid out on the floor, twitching their skirts out of the way as they walked to the huge wards where those lucky enough to have already come through surgery were lying. Screams and moaning from the various beds were their accompaniment as they proceeded to Elijah’s office. They deposited their baskets of food on his desk, and Charlotte made herself busy in the ward while Pepper went off in search of her husband. She found him just coming out of surgery, his eyes bloodshot. His shoulders slumped, and she sensed his aching, all-encompassing tiredness. She wrapped him in an embrace, hoping to infuse some of her strength into him.

  “You are about to fall over from exhaustion.” She reached up and brushed her hand down his weary face, pleased when he leaned into her and accepted her support. She began to lead him to his office, one arm remaining around his body to buoy him up. “I’ve brought food for you.”

  “I’m not hungry, only tired. A few minutes with you, though, and I’ll be right as a trivet.”

  “Well, come with me, and we’ll talk while you see how long you can ignore Cook’s good food.”

  As she suspected, the moment Elijah got a whiff of the goodies in the basket, his hunger appeared. He grabbed a chicken leg and bit down with a low growl of appreciation. Pepper settled herself across from him. She folded her arms on top of the desk and leaned over, drinking in the sight of her husband. They spent several silent minutes together as Pepper witnessed Elijah’s rapid rejuvenation. Finally, she cleared her throat and rubbed the back of her neck. Her hands began to flutter through the air, and she fought to control her movements.

  “Mother, Papa, and I toured a house yesterday, and I found it quite suitable. It’s only a block away from them, so the neighborhood is desirable. It’s a four-story brownstone, similar to what I had with Michael, but larger. It’s got black trim on the exterior and has a manly feel to it. I think you’ll be pleased with it. And there are five bedrooms. I think we should put in an offer on it.”

  Elijah raised a suspicious eyebrow while he chewed his mouthful of food. “Five bedrooms? Don’t you think it’s a bit excessive?”

  “No, I don’t. Matthew and Mark each had their own room at the other house, and Luke will be moving out of the nursery in a few months so he’ll now need his own room.”

  “Why would he need to move from the nursery? He’s still a baby.” Elijah suddenly stopped eating and dropped the chicken leg. “Are you telling me what I think you are?”

  Pepper smiled at him as a sense of weightlessness poured into her body. “Yes, Elijah. We’ll be able to finish off the apostles in about five months.”

  He rose and came around the desk to wrap his arms around her. Pepper sighed into him, her arms on his shoulders as she rested her head on his broad shoulder.

  “You said you wouldn’t mind more children,” she said, “but this is awfully soon. You’ve had so much to adjust to as it is. Are you all right with this?”

  “I love you more than words can express, Pepper, and more children will only add to my delight. So yes, I am more than all right with it.”

  “You have made me a very happy woman.” She reached up and kissed him, brushing her fingers through his hair. “To have found a great love, not just once, but twice in my life, is more than I ever could have hoped for.”

  From the doorway, Charlotte began clapping, and both Elijah and Pepper turned to face her.

  “I had a feeling you were holding something back from me, Pepper. I’m so happy to have another grandbaby to welcome into the world. This could not be more perfect.” Charlotte came into the room and wrapped her arms around the pair. “Of course, from the very first day you two met I had an inkling this would be the outcome. That’s why I introduced you to each other.”

  Elijah and Pepper grinned over Charlotte’s head, content to let Charlotte think she had been the only driving force that had brought them together.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Elijah sat back in his new leather chair in the library of his new home and lit a cheroot from his new humidor. It had been several weeks since he and Pepper placed an offer on the house, which had been accepted without delay, thanks to George Fitzpatrick’s connections. Since then, Pepper and her mother had spent their days buying furniture and setting up the household. The servants had all been in place for a week and were busy putting the finishing touches on each of the rooms.

  Elijah had missed most of the bustle involved with the new house, as the Gettysburg wounded took most of his time. Yet, he’d managed to come home from the Bronx this evening, when the last of their possessions from the old brownstone were delivered and put into place. Tonight was the first night the family would spend in their new home, and he needed to be here with them. With his growing boys. Michael might have been their sire, but Elijah was becoming their father. He loved them each with an intensity he never knew possible.

  And, as much as he loved the boys, his love for Pepper grew each time he was in her presence. Her expanding belly as she carried their first child together made him swell with pride, delight, and desire.

  The fact she desired him left him giddy. When Elisabeth died, he thought his need for companionship died as well. It took this woman, this lovely, strong woman, to show him there was life and love after tragedy. He would be forever in her debt.

  Soon enough, the boys were put to bed, and he and Pepper retired to their bedroom, where they would christen the new house properly. The lush carpet quieted their footsteps, but nothing could quiet Elijah’s heartbeat. Or assuage his hardening shaft. He wrapped his arms around Pepper as they entered the room.

  “Have I told you lately how fortunate I a
m that you came into my life? Into my hospital?”

  “Yes, but tell me again.”

  “You’ve made my life worthwhile, when I thought I’d spend the rest of my days suffering from nightmares. Nightmares when I was awake and when I was sleeping.”

  “You’ve been a godsend to me as well, Elijah. We’re both so fortunate to have found one another.”

  Pepper moved from his embrace and took his hand, leading him to the bed. Their new bed had qualities that both of them appreciated. It was long enough to accommodate Elijah’s frame, yet soft enough to cradle Pepper’s growing belly in comfort. The dark wood complemented the cream-colored walls, and blue pillows adorned both the bed and the chairs, which overlooked the window at the rear of the home.

  Pepper lay beside her husband, and they divested themselves of their clothes as they kissed and cuddled, neither wanting to let go. Elijah’s hands roamed over his wife’s round stomach and caressed her breasts, which were now fuller and heavier, in preparation for the impending birth. His thumb rolled over her nipple, bringing it to a hard peak before he took it into his mouth, sucking on and laving it. He could feel Pepper shudder with delight next to him. Yes, he was a man truly blessed.

  His hand moved from her breast over her belly and found her sweet spot. He moved down over her body and took her clitoris into his mouth. His tongue and lips quickly brought her to a climax as she held his head in her hands. Her sweet cry of satisfaction was his undoing. He lifted his head and positioned himself over her, entering her body while her vaginal walls were still pulsating. He loved the feel of her muscles pulling on him, tugging every ounce of seed from him. He’d give her all of himself, every night he could.

  Soon, they lay together, side by side, as their breathing resumed a normal pace. He ran his hand down her long hair, which ended conveniently at her breasts. He fondled her, feeling the weight of her bosom in his hands, as he kissed her.