SEAL Baby Daddy
Page 15
I knew that I had to break it off with him. But today, I just couldn’t do it.
And I especially couldn’t do it now. His appearance had been so unexpected. And he’d brought soup and juice and crackers and everything that I might need for Ava. I’d wanted to stop at the store on the way home from the doctor’s, but Ava had been feeling really sick in the car, and I’d decided against it. It was as though Ace had somehow known that.
Ava finished her soup, and I gave her one final dose of medicine. “What do you think, little one, is it time for bed?” I asked.
Ava nodded, burrowing her head against my neck. Her fever wasn’t quite as high as it had been before, but I was still worried about her. Even though the doctor seemed to think there was no reason to be. But that was always the way it was. Ava was my whole world. I couldn’t bear the thought of something bad happening to her.
I carried her into her room and laid her down on her bed, covering her with blankets. I jingled the bell next to her bed, reminding her that it was there. “If you need anything, all you have to do is ring the bell.”
“I know,” Ava said sleepily. She yawned, and I had to smile.
I bent down to kiss her forehead. “Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
She giggled and curled around her favorite stuffed dog.
I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to the kitchen to thank Ace and send him home. I couldn’t handle breaking things off with him right now, not when I was tired and stressed, and not when he was being so nice to me. But I knew that the longer he stayed there, the more I was going to keep thinking about what a great guy he was.
When I walked into the kitchen, he was doing dishes, putting them on the rack to dry off. I leaned against the doorframe, watching him. Before I could think about what I was saying, I burst out, “For someone who never wanted kids or a family, you’d make a damn fine dad.” I clapped a hand over my mouth the moment my brain caught up to me.
But there was no taking the words back now.
Ace looked mildly over at me and shrugged. “I really was just trying to help you out.” He paused. “I know we agreed that we’d take things slow, and I hope you don’t think that I overstepped. I just thought that if you were my girlfriend, I’d come over to take care of you, so I didn’t see why it was any different if Ava was sick.”
I frowned, tossing those words over in my head. Was he trying to tell me that he still wasn’t interested in having kids, that he wasn’t really there for Ava? That no matter how nice he had been to her, it was just because he wanted to keep sleeping with me?
Or was I reading too much into it?
I rubbed at my temples, wondering if maybe I had caught Ava’s bug. “Thanks for your help,” I said.
“Of course,” Ace said, coming over and wrapping his arms around me. “Are you doing okay, Mama?”
“Yeah,” I sighed, leaning into him. “It’s just stressful when Ava gets sick. I know it’s nothing big. The doctor wasn’t worried at all. But I still can’t help worrying.”
“She’s your daughter,” Ace said.
I wanted to say something then. Something like, “she’s your daughter too,” but the timing still wasn’t right. And after everything with Ava that day, I didn’t want to deal with the Ace situation on top of that. Instead, I just wanted this, for him to hold me. And maybe…
I could feel my body reacting to his. No doubt in part because the previous night’s mutual masturbation session had been good, but it hadn’t been what either of us really needed. I swallowed hard. Before I could even think about having sex with him, I needed to take a shower.
Only there my mind went, thinking of him joining me there in the shower. I could picture the water droplets slipping over his body, could imagine the way it would feel for our skin to glide against each other’s, lubricated by the water between us.
I quickly took a step away from Ace, glancing guiltily toward Ava’s room. But with the combination of sickness and meds, she would be passed out for a while, probably. And I really did need that shower.
I gave Ace another considering look, and he grinned at me. “What are you thinking?” he asked.
I blushed and shrugged. “I need to take a shower,” I told him. I paused. “If you still wanted to help me out, maybe you could help me with that.”
I turned and walked away before I could think twice about it. Already, I could feel my breath speeding up, my heart starting to race. Would he follow me? Or would he leave instead?
But of course, he would follow me. I was the only one who was having second thoughts about this relationship, and that was only because I knew he would hate me as soon as he found out who Ava really was.
I pushed those thoughts out of my head as I stepped into the bathroom. Sure enough, Ace was there behind me.
I turned to face him, slipping my T-shirt off over my head and letting it fall to the floor, then dropping my sweatpants to the floor as well, stepping out of them. Ace mirrored my actions and then pulled me close against his body, kissing me hard.
I melted into the kiss, forgetting all about my inner turmoil. I felt safe here, with Ace holding me close, his tongue slipping inside my mouth.
He reached around behind me and unhooked my bra, sliding it off my body and dropping it to the floor as well. He pressed me back against the cool edge of the counter as he wrapped his fingers roughly around one of my breasts, making me moan as heat pooled in my core.
Ace took a step back, smiling down at me, and then reached over to turn on the shower. While we waited for the water to heat up, we both stripped off our underwear and then traded increasingly sloppy kisses. Ace ran his hands down my side, cupping my ass, while I skimmed my own fingers across his back and shoulder blades.
He tugged me into the shower with him, kissing me beneath the spray. Slowly, he trailed his lips down my skin, his mouth hot against my neck. I shivered as he pushed me back against the tile wall, his hands skimming down my body, his fingers pressing up inside of me.
I ran my fingers through his hair, slicking it back, then moved my fingers down lower, pulling at his throbbing manhood. Ace stifled a groan and thrust into my fist. Then, he grabbed my hips and turned me around, thrusting cleanly into my core. I planted my hands on the slippery wall and pushed my hips back against his, helping to drive him deeper inside of me.
I lost myself in the rhythm of his movements, in and out, in and out. He moved slowly, letting me feel the full drag of his member inside of me. There was such a contrast between his heat at my back and the cool tiles in front of me. The steam swirling in the air added to the intimate feeling of this.
He began to speed up, and I gasped, collapsing forward against the wall, caught up in the feeling of him inside of me. Ace’s hands were hot on my hips, holding me in place against him as we chased mutual ecstasy.
I came hard, my knees giving out, Ace’s hands the only thing keeping me upright. He spilled as well, cum spurting across the backs of my thighs and washing away down the drain. He ran his hands over me again, and I trembled, body fully overwrought. Ace pressed a smiling kiss against my shoulder blade and then turned me around.
He reached for my loofa and lathered it up, then set about washing my body, a look of concentration on his face as he scrubbed my skin. I smiled at him, running my fingers through his hair as he worked, utterly overcome by how sweet he was being.
He turned me more fully under the spray, letting the soap rinse off me. Again, he kissed me, this time soft and gentle. Caring.
Eventually, he reached around me to shut off the spray, leading me out of the shower and grabbing a towel from the rack, wrapping it around me and drying me off. I could tell that he wanted to say something, and I knew I had to head it off.
“Thank you,” I blurted out. “For coming to help. And for bringing dinner. And for just being a good guy.”
Ace’s brow furrowed. “But?” he asked, clearly sensing what was coming.
I sighed and looked away.
“You can’t stay over,” I said.
“I understand,” Ace said, nodding.
But he didn’t, not really. He thought that I didn’t want him to stay over because of Ava. Because things were moving too fast. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that what I really meant was that we needed to stop this. That we couldn’t keep having sex, that I couldn’t date him.
He was going to hate me when he found out about Ava. I tried not to start crying right then and there, knowing that that would only bring on more questions that I could handle at the moment.
Ace tucked a lock of my hair back behind my ear, leaning in to kiss me. Then, he started quietly getting dressed and ready to leave. “If you need anything else with Ava,” he said, “I hope you know that you can always ask.”
“Thanks,” I said softly. But I knew that I couldn’t call him again. I shouldn’t have even let him in this time. Now, it was just going to be that much harder to let go of him. He really would make a great dad.
If he just wanted to be a dad. I still felt like telling him about Ava would just be trapping him into a life that he didn’t necessarily want to have. No matter how good he’d been to us.
Ace gave me one last kiss before he left. I listened to the door close behind him and then went to my room, pulling on a pair of pajamas. Then, I padded out to the kitchen, looking around at it. I couldn’t deny that I’d liked having him there.
But I knew I needed to break things off.
I sighed and flicked out the light, heading to bed and hoping that Ava, at least, would feel better the following morning. As for myself, I didn’t think I would feel good for a while, not until I somehow managed to get over Ace. If that’s even possible.
26
Ace
My first thought on Saturday morning was to call Harper and check in on Ava. But even though she’d seemed happy to see me the night before, I didn’t want to push her too much. I didn’t want her to feel like I was forcing myself on them, or that I was interfering in her life with her daughter. I reminded myself that I’d told Harper she could call me if she needed anything. I’d wait to hear from her.
I smiled, thinking about the previous night. It sucked that Ava was sick, but she’d been so sweet while I was over there. I was glad that she’d finally been able to sleep, not least of which because I’d enjoyed the shower with Harper.
My dick twitched just thinking back to that. I’d been surprised when Harper invited me to join her. For a moment, I’d actually thought that I’d imagined it. God, she was sexy. Watching her strip down, and then getting my hands on her, there underneath the spray, it had been good.
She’d seemed sort of distracted afterward, but I could tell that she was tired. And no doubt, she was still worried about her daughter. It made me want to do that again, at some point in the future, maybe while Ava was over at her grandmother’s house.
But for now, I had to figure out some way to distract myself until she called.
I ended up calling Sadie and suggesting another training session with Vixen. The training went well, and afterward, as we sat on a bench in the park, I considered asking her to be one of the people who came to work for George and me. After all, George had said that I could hire a couple of people, and Sadie was a natural at least when it came to her own dog. I knew that she didn’t really have any experience in training animals, but I had a feeling she would learn quickly.
Before I could ask, though, Sadie asked a question of her own. “So are Harper and your daughter going to come out today? Vixen really liked playing fetch with Ava, I think.”
I sputtered. My daughter? I thought back, trying to remember if there was something I had said that would lead Sadie to believe that Ava was mine. But I couldn’t think of anything. I hadn’t implied that Harper and I were married, had I?
“Ava isn’t mine,” I said quickly.
“Oh!” Sadie said, looking surprised. She shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.”
“Harper and I just started dating,” I explained. “We aren’t anywhere near married yet.”
“Right, of course,” Sadie said, still looking embarrassed. “I just thought Ava looked a lot like you.” She shrugged. “Same eyes, same smile. Kind of funny, right?”
I frowned, thinking about it. When I really thought about it, Ava really did look like me. But that didn’t mean anything, did it? I had read something, once, about people dating people who looked similar to them. The same way that dog owners sort of looked like their dogs. Probably Ava’s dad had looked similar to me, that was all. Harper had a “type.”
But I started doing the math. Ava was three years old. Harper had been in Kuwait four years ago. Was it really so absurd to think that maybe that night that Harper and I had slept together, Ava had been conceived?
Was that why Harper had left so abruptly?
But no, I pushed that thought out of my mind right away. I doubted that Harper had known about Ava already when she had left. And then I had to wonder, would she still have left like that if she had known about Ava? And why hadn’t she ever told me about our daughter, if so?
I shook my head. Ava couldn’t be mine. Harper would have told me, I was sure. Maybe not while I’d been overseas. But when she’d run into me here in Boston, maybe. At the very least, she would have told me when we started dating; I had to assume. The math was close, but that didn’t mean anything.
I tried to put it out of my head. But when Harper called, as I was on my way back to my place later, I almost asked. She wouldn’t lie to me outright; that I was sure of. This seemed like the sort of question that I should ask face-to-face, though, if I really had to ask.
And I didn’t really have to ask. I knew that Harper wouldn’t keep something like that a secret. I trusted her.
“Hey, Ace,” Harper said. “I just wanted to say thanks again for last night.”
“How’s Ava doing?” I asked.
“Still not one hundred percent,” Harper sighed. “My mom’s actually coming over to help out. But seriously, thanks again for your help.”
“No problem,” I said. “I was serious; if you need anything else, just call. I mean, you probably don’t now, not if your mom is coming over. I’m sure she knows what to do better than I do.” I laughed self-consciously, rubbing the back of my neck.
Meanwhile, my thoughts were in turmoil. If Ava really was my kid, I was going to need to learn things like that. How to take care of a sick child. How to be a dad.
I suddenly remembered what Harper had said the night before, about how for someone who had never wanted kids, I would make a good dad. I felt another flash of pride at that. But was she hinting at something? Was she telling me that I was a dad? Was the reason she never told me about Ava that she thought I wouldn’t want Ava?
I felt guilty just thinking about that. In truth, I was still conflicted when it came to Ava. She was the sweetest little girl, and I doubted that I could ever act toward her like my father had acted toward me. But who knew, maybe underneath it all, I was just the same cold bastard as he was. Maybe it was better that Harper didn’t tell me about my daughter if Ava really was mine.
But I was being stupid. Ava wasn’t mine. I had to stop dwelling on it.
“Anyway, I just wanted to say that I do want to see you again, but it might be a couple days,” Harper continued, oblivious to my inner turmoil. “I’ll have to see how Ava’s doing.”
“Sure, of course,” I agreed. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I shook my head, trying to forget about the question of Ava’s paternity.
When I got home, Stone was using the gym, and I gritted my teeth. But I didn’t feel like going for a run or a bike ride. I shook my head and walked over to him, waiting until he finished the rep he was working on. “Hey, man, do you mind if I work out as well?” I asked.
“Nah, go for it,” Stone said. He shrugged. “Actually might be better if we push each other a little, right?”
“Yeah, right,” I agreed. I tried not to sound too
grateful, but I knew that with him pushing me to work harder, I would have no choice but to stop thinking about Harper and Ava.
We worked out together for a little over an hour, and everything that Stone did, I tried to do one better, my competitive nature coming out. By the end of it, we were both exhausted. But I felt a little flash of pride that Stone was the first one to give up.
He laughed and set down the weights, shaking his head. “You’re a beast, man,” he said.
I snorted. “Lots of training,” I quipped.
“Yeah.” Stone cocked his head to the side, looking like he wanted to ask something, and I wondered if he could tell that my mind was still stubbornly stuck on Harper. But whatever he was thinking, he ended up shaking his head. “Well, go on. You deserve the first shower.”
“Sure, yeah,” I said, heading into my room to grab my things.
I still couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Harper, but at least now I was thinking different things: more about the previous night together and less about the possibility that Ava was my daughter as much as hers.
I turned the shower on cold, hoping to calm my body down a little. But it only made me think back to cold showers in Kuwait, and that led my mind straight back to Harper.
I was totally and completely fixated on her, I realized. But I couldn’t tell if that was a bad thing.
27
Harper
It had been a really long time since Mom came over to my place, so to have her there felt kind of weird. I’d spent half of Saturday tidying the place up, wanting it to be even cleaner than it normally was. I couldn’t remember the last time I had dusted.
Not that I thought Mom was going to judge me. She knew exactly how difficult it was to juggle the household duties against taking care of a young daughter. And it wasn’t like the place was a disaster zone to begin with. I just wanted it to be extra nice.