by Sophie Stern
I could lie again or I could trust my brother and go for broke.
If I’m going to raise a son, it’s about time I grew a pair of balls.
“I’m scared,” I whisper. “I don’t know if I can do this, Micah.” My chest immediately feels lighter with the admission, but apparently I’ve pulled the stopper plug on my mouth and now everything I’ve been thinking and feeling for the last few days comes pouring out. “I didn’t plan on having kids, man. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. What if I mess it up? What if I screw this up? It’s not like I can just redo the level. This isn’t a video game. This is real life. It’s a real person. Colby is…he’s been through so much, Micah. I don’t want to be one more person who lets him down.”
“First of all,” Micah says. “You aren’t going to screw this up. You’re his dad, Carter. No one else in the world has that connection: only you.”
He pauses, and the words sink in for a minute. I know he’s right. There’s no one else in the world who could be Colby’s father. No matter how many boyfriends, lovers, or husbands Cherise may have had after our breakup, not a single one was Colby’s dad.
That’s for me alone.
“And secondly,” Micah continues, not about to let me off the hook. “You are not alone. You do not have to do this alone. We are all here for you one hundred and fifty six percent.”
I raise an eyebrow at his random percentage, but Micah just gives me another hug. Seriously, when did we turn into a hugging family?
“Thanks, Micah.”
He looks at me warily for a moment, but nods.
“I’m always here for you, Carter. You know that.”
“Sometimes a reminder is nice.”
“Let’s go see if that kid of yours is good with cattle, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
***
As it turns out, Colby is very good with cattle. He has a great time riding around on the 4-Wheeler. We count heads and drop some hay in a couple of the feeders. I show him the salt licks, which he thinks is hilarious. Colby hasn’t been around farm animals before, but he’s courageous, just like his dad. I give him a couple of range cubes and he feeds a few of the cows by hand, giggling when their long, thick tongues run over his fingers.
After a long morning out in the fields, we head back to the house for lunch. Alex is just coming back inside, as well, and I fry up a couple of steaks for us to share. Alex is a bit quieter than usual, but I ignore him. We all have our mood swings, I suppose. He helps Colby cut his steak, then makes up some random excuse and heads outside.
“What crawled up his butt and died?” Colby asks nonchalantly.
“Colby!”
“What?” He looks at me. “Well? Do you know?”
I sigh and finish scrubbing the pan I used, then I set it to the side and turn back to Colby.
“You can’t ask people what crawled up their butt.”
“Why not?” He looks genuinely confused.
“Because it’s not polite, Colby. It’s pretty rude, actually. Did your mama ever talk to about being a gentleman?”
The look on his face says that no, it wasn’t something that ever crossed Cherise’s mind.
“A gentleman is a good man, Colby. A gentleman looks after his family and the people around him, but he’s also polite. I try to be a gentleman, and you should, too.”
“But why, daddy?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” I say, realizing that my father taught me quite a bit about honor and responsibility.
Maybe I should thank him for that.
He’ll be back from his trip soon. Won’t he and Mom be surprised to find that they’re grandparents twice over?
I don’t even think Wyatt’s told them about Hope yet.
Not that I think he should give them such big news over the phone. Mom and Dad have been keeping their distance since they left on their big retirement vacation, and that’s fine with me. After 30-odd years of marriage, I think they’re entitled to a bit of privacy.
I don’t even know which continent they’re on right now. Every so often we get postcards in the mail or an emailed picture of the two of them with big grins on, but for the most part, our folks are off the grid.
“How do you know what’s the right thing, daddy?” Colby’s voice brings me back to the present, and I realize once again how much I have to learn about parenting. How do I explain such a big concept?
“I’ll help you learn, buddy,” I say. “I’ll help you learn.”
Then I sit down at the table next to Colby, pour a heaping pile of steak sauce on my food, and get to work.
Chapter 8
Savannah
I don’t hear from Carter all morning, which is to be expected. We usually text all day, but things are different now. He’s a father now. Most of his time is going to be spent taking care of Colby. That’s good.
That’s how it should be.
I flip the sign on my shop to “Closed” and head to the diner for lunch. Maybe Selena will be able to give me some free advice.
She’ll at least be able to give me a free sandwich.
The diner is crowded, as always, when I reach the little restaurant. I slip inside unnoticed and head to the end of the counter. Sliding onto an empty stool, I take a look around the place.
Clusters of workers are enjoying sandwiches, burgers, fries, and milkshakes in the vinyl-covered booths. A couple of teenagers are piled into one of the back corner booths. I wonder how many of them are playing footsie where they think the adults can’t see. I remember Carter being a young cub and playing that with all the beautiful girls from high school.
All the girls that weren’t me.
Pushing the memory from my mind, I make a conscious effort not to let today turn into a pity party. When Selena finally sees me, I paste on a smile, but she just frowns and hurries over.
“What’s wrong?” She asks.
“Nothing,” I say. “I’ll take a burger and a vanilla milkshake.”
“What the hell?” She glares. “Did someone die? Are the Blair brothers okay? Did something happen to Carter?”
“No, no. Nothing like that,” I wave her off. “I’m just really hungry.”
She puts her hand on her hip and pushes it out, accentuating her curves. This movement also accentuates her “don’t-fuck-with-me” attitude. She’s certainly got my attention.
“Try again.”
“It was a long morning,” I protest, but I can already tell I’ve lost this battle.
“Yes, I’m sure selling souvenirs at a little shop is very taxing on you. Did you have to bake more than your usual dozen cupcakes today?”
“Are you serious right now?” Now it’s my turn to glare. “Why are you insulting my store?”
“I’m not,” her voice goes softer now, and she leans in. “That’s my whole point, Vana. You love your shop. It’s everything to you, so this whole ‘I-had-a-long-day-at-work’ thing? It just doesn’t add up. Try again.”
“Carter has a son,” I mumble silently, not wanting the whole restaurant to hear.
“WHAT?” Selena bellows.
The whole diner goes silent and I drop my head on the counter.
“Really?” I mumble.
“Nothing to see here, folks,” Selena waves everyone off. She’s like a bossy mother hen. We’re the same age, but she’s always seemed so much older, and part of me thinks people have always taken her a little more seriously. I don’t blame them. It’s no secret that Selena has always been more put-together than me.
After about ten minutes, Selena reappears with my order. I’m a little surprised she actually gave me a burger. We both know I have a few pounds to lose. I’m definitely the less pretty twin.
I eat slowly because my stomach is turning. It’s all tied in knots from everything that’s happened. By the time I finish eating, the diner has cleared out, and soon it’s just Selena, me, and old Rufus Brown, the owner.
Rufus is caught up in some paperwork
in one of the back booths, but Selena takes a seat next to me and touches my back.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Carter got a call yesterday. His ex-girlfriend died. She had a kid. It’s Carter’s.” Everything comes out in a rush and I quickly slap my hand over my mouth. I can’t believe I just told her all of that. That’s so not my style. Selena doesn’t ask me much about Carter because I’ve always been so weird about him.
I’ve always been in love with him.
“Um, okay,” she says, drawing the word out. “And what do you think about all that?”
“I went with him to pick up his son yesterday. Then we went shopping, like a little family. We went back to his house and I helped give Colby a bath. That’s his son: Colby. I tucked him into bed, Selena. I freaking fell asleep with him in my arms, and it was so perfect.”
“And you wish it was forever.”
I nod through my tears.
“I know it’s stupid. I’ve been in love with Carter since I was just a kid. Everything about him is so perfect, and he…he doesn’t even know I exist.”
“Trust me,” a voice says from behind me. “He knows.”
I jump up and turn around, realizing my sister completely played me. Carter is standing there, solemnly staring at me. I didn’t even hear him come in the front door. There are loud, jangly bells on the door handle. They’re impossible to miss. This means that at some point, she let him in the back door.
“Carter, I…” Only I can’t say anything. My eyes are red and swollen from crying over him and he obviously just heard me confess my undying love for him.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Only before I can completely freak out and run out the door, Carter takes the last few steps toward me, pulls me up into his arms, and kisses me.
Carter Blair freaking kisses me.
And oh, it’s everything I thought it could be.
When it’s over, he just looks at me, long and hard. Selena has conveniently vanished, which is just as well because I’m going to kill her for telling him to come over. I just know she called him. She always calls Carter when I have a problem. Selena and I might be identical twins, but Carter has always been my go-to guy. Selena doesn’t mind. She takes it all in stride.
Old Rufus is still in the back of the diner, but he doesn’t seem to notice me. He’s going on about his paperwork as if this is the most normal thing in the world to him. He’s ignoring us like it’s every day that two childhood friends start making out in the middle of the diner.
Maybe he’s been in shifter land too long because to me, this is so not normal.
“What are you doing here?” I manage to say, but I know it’s the wrong thing to ask. I shouldn’t be asking why he’s here, or why he came, or who told him I was here. I shouldn’t be asking him why he’s kissing me.
I should be asking him why he didn’t do this years ago, why he didn’t make a move when we were teenagers, why he suddenly wants to kiss me.
I should be asking him if he’ll put his lips back on mine.
“Selena said you needed me,” he whispers, and he looks concerned. “Did you really mean all that stuff you said?”
I blush furiously, knowing without a doubt he overheard the entire conversation. That would be just my luck. That’s why Selena gave me my freaking comfort food instead of bringing me a salad or a turkey sandwich. She knew he was coming and wanted to buy some time.
She knew.
“Um, what did you hear?” My voice is a whisper, and Carter cocks his head at me.
“Come on, Savannah. How long have we known each other?”
“Forever.”
“Do you really love me?”
And now the tears are falling again because I’m completely embarrassed, and even though I know he must think something of me, too, I’m still scared he’s going to laugh and say it was a joke.
It can’t be a joke, though.
Carter Blair kissed me in the middle of Bumble’s Diner.
It can’t be a joke.
The universe wouldn’t be so cruel, would it?
I look up into Carter’s eyes and I know there’s only one thing I can say. Even if he does reject me, even if he does say he’s not interested in me, even if he does tell me to get lost, I need to be honest with him.
I need to tell him the truth.
“I love you,” I tell him.
And Carter Blair kisses me again.
His mouth comes down on mine harder than before, needier. He’s more passionate this time, if that’s even possible. He devours my mouth with his lips, sending a shot of desire right between my legs.
My entire body is on fire and Carter is the one with the matches.
He’s claiming my mouth like it’s his. He’s acting like every inch of my body belongs to him, like he can command me to feel anything he wants with just this kiss.
The worst part is that he absolutely can. Carter can. Carter Blair can make me feel anything he wants with just one touch.
He grips my hips and pulls me closer to him. My breasts press against his hard, toned chest and I feel his hardness against my stomach. Fuck. Talk about a compliment. That’s from kissing me? The urge to drop to my knees before him and pull his cock out is only quenched by the light coughing we hear.
Suddenly, the coughing grows louder, and we stop kissing and turn.
Old man Rufus is still sitting in the back of the diner, but he’s chuckling and shaking his head.
“Sorry, sir,” Carter says politely.
Rufus just laughs and wiggles his finger at the door.
“All’s well, son, just find someplace else.”
“Good idea,” Carter says again. He looks at me, his eyes piercing mine, and he hauls me out of the diner.
Chapter 9
Carter
When Selena called me and told me something was wrong with Savannah, I thought they’d had some sort of twin spat. It’s not common for those two, and for Selena to call me, I knew the problem had to be a big one.
Hope was willing to hang out with Colby for a little while, so I hurried into town and into the back of the diner.
Only I didn’t find them fighting.
I found Savannah pouring her sweet little heart out to her sister.
I don’t think I could have been more shocked.
For a few minutes, I just listened to them. I tried to remind myself to breathe, but suddenly, breathing became the hardest thing in the world to do.
And then she told me she loved me.
And then I kissed her.
And now we’re running out of the diner together and we’re hurrying down the road to her shop. We need a few minutes to be alone, if only to clear our heads.
The sign on the store says “Closed,” but she doesn’t flip it over when we go inside. Instead, she locks the door, leaves the sign, and leads me toward the back of the shop.
“Where are you taking me, pretty girl?” I ask her gently, but my voice holds a bit of an edge, a little bit of a growl.
Oh, fuck, this cannot be happening. Savannah is the sweetest thing I’ve ever known and she tastes just as good as I thought she would.
Instead of answering me, she leads me through the store, carefully darting around racks holding key chains and trinkets, and into the back of the store. We go through an unmarked door into the storage room. This is the room where she keeps all of her extra supplies, where she sorts her mail, where she handles her receipts, and where she takes naps when she thinks no one knows.
Savannah’s storage room has boxes against one wall and a couch with a coffee table against the other.
I sit on the couch, expecting her to sit next to me. This is a good chance for her to explain what she actually meant when she told me she loved me. Where did that come from? Why now? How long has she felt this way? When she sits next to me, our bodies will be close enough to touch. She’ll be close enough for me to sling my arm over her shoulder like a teenager with a crush.
&
nbsp; Only Savannah doesn’t sit next to me. I don’t have to hope that our legs will accidentally brush against each other or that she’ll lean her head on my shoulder. No, hope doesn’t play a role in what’s happening now because she steps forward, pushes me back, and straddles my lap on the couch. She sinks down so her core is resting against mine, and my cock has never been harder.
“I’ve been in love with you for a long time, Carter. Does that kiss mean you feel the same way?” Even though she’s shaking, obviously terrified of rejection, my little cinnamon bear is brave.
“I love you, baby,” I murmur, and that’s all it takes. She’s pouncing on me, rubbing her body against mine, kissing me, touching me, running her hands through my hair.
In the time I’ve known Savannah, she’s had maybe a handful of boyfriends. None of them were serious. None of them were good enough for her. Now, as she’s eagerly grinding her body against mine, I realize that I hate every single one of them with a passion.
The only person she should be kissing or touching is me because there is no doubt in my mind that Savannah is my darling.
I don’t know if it was the stress and shock of finding out that I have a son or if it was the intimacy of having Savannah in my bed, but something has changed between us. It’s like we’ve had this sizzle between us, this energy that was waiting to be lit on fire, and now we’re burning.
Savannah kisses me harder and faster. Her long brown hair dangles around my face, trapping us in our own little tiny world. She’s so perfect and sweet and I love every second of what’s happening between us.
Finally, I can’t take anymore.
“Wait,” I manage to grip her hips and stop her from gyrating on me. If we don’t stop now, I’m going to come in my pants, and there’s no way I’ll fuck her on the couch in the back of her shop. Not our first time together. We need to just stop. “We need to slow down.”
She smiles shyly and nods, biting her bottom lip, then climbs off me and sits next to me.
Our legs are touching.
“I’ve loved you since we were teenagers, Savannah.”