“It’s not unusual,” Matt gives me a bottle of water.
I drink quickly and heavily from the bottle, letting the liquid moisturize my parched throat. There are only two people I want to see right now. Riley and Hadley are my home, they are the things that ground me, and I need grounding right now. I know we’ve never discussed it, but if they can’t come to me, I’ll go to them. Consequences be damned.
I remember the way to Hadley’s apartment from the night I helped her off the bridge. That night seems like so long ago, when it was only weeks. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. It makes my head spin, but in a good way. I wouldn’t change a bit of it for the world. All my bad decisions have lead me to this moment, and that in itself is one of the most profound conclusions I’ve ever come to. Things happen for a reason, and while we may not understand the reasons in the beginning, we damn well figure them out in the end.
Parking my truck, because I wanted to make a good impression, I head up to the apartment I know Riley and Hadley live in. Maybe I should have called first, but I’m so fucking excited to see them. Knocking quickly and loudly on the door, I can’t help but call out. “Hadley!”
“Trick?” she questions as she answers, opening the door for me.
I don’t wait for her to say anything else, I pick her up, spin her around, and plant a kiss on her right there. In the back of my mind, I can hear Riley clapping, happily giggling as I finally pull back from the kiss.
“What the hell’s going on?” Her eyes are wide, and I see just how much I’ve surprised her.
“I’m free.” The two words are like a mic drop in the room and we both feel the weight of them.
“Free?” She twines her arms around my neck, pulling me closer, our eyes locking. “Free? As in…”
“As in, I’m still on probation, and I’ll never have a squeaky-clean record, but I’ve met all the terms. As long as I continue to pay my restitution and stay out of trouble, I’m free,” I breathe the words out against her neck as I pull her into my arms.
She hangs on tightly, tighter than anyone else has ever held onto me before. The strength of her hold brings tears to my eyes. Not one person in my life has ever tried to hold me this close to them, ever cared where I was, or what happened to me. She doesn’t have to tell me how she feels, because I can tell, just by the way she holds me. At my knee, I can feel something, I look down, and Riley’s got her arms wrapped around me, too.
“You’re not going away?” She looks up at me, the same blue eyes as her mom, and it takes everything I have for me not to drop to my knees in relief.
“No, Sprite, I’m not,” I reluctantly let go of Hadley, bend down and pick up Riley. “You’re stuck with me.”
She grins as I hug her closer to me. “I think it’s the other way around.”
I laugh because I don’t care which way it is, all I want to know is we’ll be together, as a unit, in the future. There’s no way I can go back to my apartment, not after the emotional day I’ve had.
“Do you wanna stay here tonight, with us?” Hadley grips me around the waist with one arm, Riley with the other. In the circle of her arms, we’re that family I’ve always wanted to be.
“I’d love to, but tomorrow you’re coming home with me, after we go buy a washer and dryer.”
She shakes her head, opening her mouth to protest, but I cut her off with a kiss. No other kiss has tasted better, because tonight, I’m just a free man kissing the woman who’s completely changed his life.
30
Hadley
“Can Trick help me with my homework tonight?”
My kid, she surprises me all the time. In the past few weeks we’ve been at Trick’s apartment, she’s become even more attached, but she’s never asked him to help with schoolwork.
“You’ll have to ask him,” I glance over my shoulder from where I’m doing the dishes. Funny how when I was with my ex-husband housework seemed just that – work. Here, with Trick, I enjoy it. I like the way his dark eyes light up when I’ve done something he didn’t expect me to do. The first night we were here, I changed the sheets on his bed. You would think I gave him a gold coin and told him it was worth a million dollars. He appreciates everything I do, and it means everything to me.
“Trick,” she kicks her feet where she’s sitting at the kitchen table. “Will you help me with my spelling words?”
I can tell by the set of his shoulders my big man is trying to get his emotions under control. Riley tears him apart with the simplest of requests, and I know the things she does without thinking are things he never thought he’d have. Just by being her, she’s changed him. He smiles more, his shoulders aren’t as tense, and he talks more about the future. It’s almost like a switch has been flipped in his personality.
He gets up from where he was sitting on the couch watching some show, sauntering over to where she sits. I don’t mean to stare, but Jesus – this man wears a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt like no one I’ve ever seen before. The material of the pants slip low on his hipbones, and I can’t wait to get him alone so I can see what they look like as they come off. Another thing that positively gets me excited is the fact he didn’t try to ask her to wait until his show was over. No, Riley asked Trick to help her, he put the remote down, walked over, and is now sitting next to her at the table. Their heads are bent together, and it kicks me in the stomach. She finally has what she’s deserved for so very long - the male figure she’s always wanted.
“What are we workin’ on, Sprite?” he asks, bumping her shoulder with his.
“Spelling,” she gazes up at him with glasses that no longer slide down her nose. “I have to do these five words,” she points to the piece of paper in front of her.
“While you two get on that, I’m gonna go take a shower.”
I like to give them the space and opportunity to spend time together. I enjoy the quiet for a while, and she enjoys someone else’s company besides mine. It’s added a whole other layer to our dynamic.
“We got this,” Trick grabs her pencil and taps it on the word he wants her to spell as they get to work.
He gets everything, and I worry what happens when maybe we move on, or what if he moves on. The thought tightens my chest, and I tell myself every day not to think about it. To not put the negative thoughts in the world, to not give them power, but as someone who’s lived life the way I have for the last few years, it’s hard not to.
I give them a smile and then head back to the bathroom.
There’s no denying it, I realize as I shut the bathroom door. If we continue to stay with him, we’re going to have to have a talk about a bigger apartment. Plus, I’m paying rent on something I’m not spending any time in. I don’t want to seem forward, but as I look at the crowded sink, full of stuff that’s all three of ours, the reality sets in. Regardless of how we started this, we’re together, and God willing, we will be for a long time.
It’s something I haven’t let myself think about, but now that he’s free, I’ve kind of let my mind go there a couple of times. If we’re still together in a year, where will we be? Who will be the first to tell the other they love them – because in a year, we’ll definitely be that far. I’ve thought, with the way he treats Riley, what if he wants a child of his own? I’m not getting any younger and thirty is right around the corner. If we’re together in a year, will we be talking about it?
I turn the shower on and tell myself to stop thinking about all of those scenarios. I’m totally putting the cart before the horse, in more ways than one, but Trick has changed my life. The time I’ve spent with him has changed my outlook, and he’s given me hope things can be different. It’s a hope I never had before. To where he’s no longer tense, I’m no longer anxious.
There’s a partner there for me at the end of the day, someone hanging out in bed when I get there. He’s interested in my day, he asks Riley about her school work, and he bugs me if I work too late at night. From him I’ve learned to take a break and n
ot take things so seriously. I’m okay with putting my store on vacation for a few days a week to allow myself to catch up, as long as he’s by my side.
I’ve never had the support before, and maybe that’s what scares me more than anything. I feel like it can be ripped away as quickly as I got it, but in the end, I also tell myself I can’t think of life in this way. Constantly waiting on the other shoe to drop is going to get me nowhere, and I’ve already been there. Now, I’m looking for a place, and that place is beside Riley and Trick.
“Mom,” Riley asks a little while later, after homework and showers. “Do you mind if Trick tucks me in tonight?”
“No Riles, as long as he wants to,” I reach down and give her a kiss on the cheek. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Mommy.”
I stand back, watching as Trick tucks her into the sofa bed, Tux right beside her. She and the cat are inseparable, and I love that she has a friend she can count on, even if it is a feline. I’m not even paying attention to what they say to one another, just watch as she allows him to pull the covers up to her chin, and drops a kiss on her forehead.
“Love you, Sprite,” he says the words first, and my heart clenches. It stops beating for a few seconds and I thank God this man came into our lives when he did. He saved us, whether he knows it or not.
“Love you too, Trick,” she yawns, turning over, pulling Tux deeper into her arms.
I go to the door and check the lock, while Trick turns off all the lights, except for the nightlight we bought her the third night we stayed here. “You comfortable?” he asks, but she’s already out. That’s how comfortable my daughter is in his home. It takes her seconds to fall asleep. Another blessing I sometimes don’t think I deserve.
Once we know for sure she’s asleep, he grabs my hand and we head for the bedroom.
As much as I love my daughter, this is my favorite time of the day. It’s just Trick and me in our own little cocoon, nothing of the outside world is let in as we spend a few hours together every night. It’s the best part of my day.
Trick
“You sick of us yet?” Hadley asks as she starts turning down the sheets, and fluffing the pillows.
I swear I think she has magic hands when she does this; there has never been a time I’ve slept better than when she turns down the sheets and fluffs the pillows. The only thing not letting me enjoy it are the words she’s just spoken.
“Sick of you? Are you insane? Have I given you any reason to think I’m sick of you?”
Now I’m panicking, because I know damn good and well, I’ve told her a few times how much my life has changed, how much better it is with the two of them here.
“No,” she shakes her head. “But I wonder if you sometimes don’t miss your old life, without all of us and all of our stuff crowding yours.”
My eyes follow where she’s pointing to the chair in my bedroom. Before it had been completely bare, now it holds a few hoodies and more bras than it’s ever seen in the years I’ve lived here.
“While I’m willing to admit it’s a little more cramped than I thought it would be,” I walk over and put my arms around her waist, nuzzling her neck with my nose before dropping a kiss on the pulse point. “It doesn’t bother me that much.”
“I don’t want us to wear out our welcome.”
“If it starts being a huge nuisance to us, then we’ll look for something bigger,” I’m not even thinking about my words - they are the truth, spewing from my lips. “But for now, I’m perfectly happy where we are.” Then it dawns on me, she might be saying she’s upset. “Are you happy here with me? I know it’s cramped, but I thought we were making do okay.”
“We are,” she leans up, pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. “I just don’t want us to take over your house. We’re two women and it would be easy for us to do. I mean right now, I’m not even sure where your toothbrush is on the sink in the bathroom, and I’m pretty sure you don’t even have a drawer in your dresser anymore, because My Little Pony has invaded.”
“All of which I’ve allowed, babe,” I assure her. “If any of this bothered me, I’d let you know, but honestly it doesn’t. We’re going to have some growing pains, but trust me, this isn’t one of them.”
“To most men it would be, Trick, and I think that says more about you than anything else.”
I spread my feet wide so I can drop a little further down to her level. Here I can see deep into her eye, and make sure she’s not over-thinking things. Her blue hue takes on a green color when she’s freaking out…and yup, I can see a tiny shot of green. “I’m not most men. I thought you knew that by now.”
“I do,” she blows out a breath of frustration. “I just keep waiting for the one thing that’s going to push you over the edge.”
“Hadley, listen to me,” I cup her face in my hands. “I care deeply about you and I love that little girl in there. It’s going to have to take a lot more than women’s deodorant and My Little Pony to change that. Stop freaking out, and just enjoy what we have going here.”
“I’m trying,” she bites her lip, holding back anxious tears.
I know she is, I can tell. She tries every day, tries her damndest not to give into the fear her past has left her with, just like me. Trailing my hand up her thigh, I let it sneak under the hem of her nightshirt, over the flat of her stomach, until I encounter the already hard nipple of her breast. Leaning forward, I drop my voice an octave or two.
“Try harder.”
She giggles as I pick her up and throw her on the bed. Looks like she needs someone to show her how to enjoy herself, and I’m definitely the man for the job.
31
Trick
Thursday is seriously my favorite day of the week. It should be my most frustrating because I get very little work done, but the reason I get very little work done is also what makes it my favorite. From the moment Riley and Hadley leave in the morning, I’m watching the clock, waiting for when Hadley gets off work, and then sneaking glimpses to see when she makes it to the shop. My work schedule revolves around it, and I’ve even said no to jobs if it’s going to cut into time with her.
I tell myself it’s not crazy to want to spend time with her like this. Our moments alone are limited to when Riley’s in bed or at school, and when she’s at school, we can act like adults. We don’t have to worry she may hear us, we can speak candidly and behave inappropriately. These few hours are my most treasured of the week, besides the times Riley asks for me specifically. I would never give up Riley in Hadley’s life; I’m aware they come as a packaged deal, but I do appreciate the time alone with her mom.
Glancing at the clock, I smile. Five more minutes and Hadley will be here in my arms. Today’s her last day working on the office, and I have to admit I’m excited to see what it’s going to look like after she puts her finishing touches on it. We’re both kind of surprised it didn’t take her another month, but one thing I’ve learned is when she puts her mind to something, it gets done.
“Trick, you in here?”
Her voice gives me goosebumps on my forearms. I never thought anyone would affect me this way, much less someone like her. She’s everything I’m not, and it’s occurred to me that maybe that’s why we work.
“Over here,” I’m finishing putting the wheel back on the bike I’m working on. Sitting to my left is a Caramel Macchiato.
“Is that for me?” she eyes me, a smile already on her face.
“Nah, got it for me.”
She walks over, scrunching her nose as she pokes me in the side. “You don’t even like them. You hate almost everything Starbucks sells.”
“True on all accounts, but that Peppermint Hot Chocolate on a cold day is the shit,” I nod to my large cup, which I’ve learned is a Venti. “Plus, I also kinda realize I kept you up really late last night, so I figured you might need a shot of caffeine.”
“You’re right about that, but if I’m up late, it’s much more enjoyable to be spending time with you than wor
king,” she admits as she grabs the drink and takes a long swallow. “So,” she winks. “Finishing the office today. How do you feel?”
Tilting my head back, I truly think about it. “I’m excited, and I definitely think it’ll give me a more professional appearance. The question really is, what are you going to do with all this free time you have?”
“Free time? What’s that? I’m going to be working on orders for the store.”
The thought she won’t be here with me hits me like a punch to the gut. “You’ll be working upstairs? We won’t spend these afternoons together anymore?”
“It’s not like we spend them completely together now. Most of the time you’re doing something while I’m working on the office.”
How do I explain this without sounding like a pussy, for lack of a better term? “I know, but knowing we’re in the same space just puts me at ease.”
Her panties melt, I can tell by the softness in her eyes. That’s her panties just melted look. I almost give myself a pat on the back.
“There are certain things I can do with little space. If you’ll let me set up a small table in the office, that I can put up when I’m not here, I can work down here with you.”
Those were exactly the words I wanted to hear. “Sounds fan-fucking-tastic to me.” I reach in, giving her a smooth kiss on the mouth. Tapping her on the ass, I grin. “I can’t wait to see what this office looks like.”
She giggles, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I’m getting to work, don’t worry.”
Watching her walk away, I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. It hits me like a blow to the head. For the first time in my life, I’m happy, so fucking happy I could go dance in the street. Instead, I keep the warmth in my chest and the fluttering of my stomach to myself. I’m not ready to share it yet, but I will be. Eventually I’ll give this woman everything she deserves. Including my love. The thought doesn’t scare me, which tells me more than anything how settled and ready I am. Going back to work, I whistle, and try to think of a way to keep Hadley with me for good.
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