Losing Mars (Saving Mars Series-3)

by Swanson, Cidney

  “I believe I’m tired,” she said at last. “Would the two of you take me home?”

  It was nearly time for evening rations by the time Jess and Pavel got Gran settled in her dwelling.

  That night over dinner, Jessamyn was quiet and distant. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kipper. What was she doing here in Yucca shepherding old women around town when Kip might be able to save Mars from making a terrible mistake?

  After evening rations had concluded, Pavel took Jessamyn’s hand in his own.

  “Let’s go outside,” he said softly.

  Jess nodded and the two ascended the stairs together. The heat had died back from midday, and Jessamyn pulled her hair up off her neck to catch at the bit of breeze streaming across the desert floor.

  “You want to go get your captain, don’t you?” said Pavel, his voice matter-of-fact.

  Jessamyn twisted a corner of her shirt round and round her index finger and didn’t answer.

  “Even though no one else thinks it’s smart,” added Pavel. “Am I right?”

  “Is it that obvious to everyone?” asked Jessamyn.

  Pavel shrugged. “Most of them know you as well as or better than I do.”

  A breeze ruffled Jessamyn’s hair and she sighed.

  “There’s next to no chance it’s her, you know,” said Pavel.

  “It’s this feeling I have,” said Jessamyn, dropping the shirt corner so that she could hold her hand over her belly. “Right here. I just feel so sure, somehow. An undocumented worker who happens to have the same first name as my captain?”

  “I don’t think anyone but me suspects you’re planning something,” said Pavel, shifting his hand so that the backs of his fingers met the backs of Jessamyn’s.

  She felt a warm shiver run through her and pressed the back of her hand more closely against his. Whereas her fingers were warm, his skin was cool, comforting.

  “They’re all so sure it’s not your captain that it doesn’t occur to them you might think differently,” said Pavel.

  “It occurred to you, though.”

  Pavel tipped his head up to watch the night sky. “Going after her is what I’d do in your place.”

  Jessamyn twined her fingers through Pavel’s.

  “I’m not used to this,” she said. “Having someone who … gets me.”

  Pavel’s hand tightened around hers. “Me neither.”

  Jessamyn’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Back home, I never had close friends. Not my own age, anyway. I’m not … I don’t know if I know how …” She broke off, uncertain what she was trying to say.

  “It’s okay,” said Pavel. “I get it. Try growing up in the household of the world’s most powerful woman and see how many friends you collect.” His voice was soft, hardly more than a whisper. “Renard’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a friend my own age, and half the time I’m around him, I’m jealous he might like you or something.”

  “That’s just silly,” said Jess.

  “Well, I notice he’s not the one out here talking to you under the stars.”

  “That’s right,” said Jessamyn as she wound an arm around Pavel’s waist. “Hey, Pavel? I’ve been thinking. You didn’t turn me in, the morning after we first met. Even though you’d seen me blow up a transport. Maybe Kip woke up and she found someone who decided against turning her in as well.”

  Pavel took a moment before responding. “I’m not going to say that couldn’t happen. The idea of life on Mars … it would intoxicate just about anyone I’ve ever met, if they could just believe in it. And your captain’s physician would have the same means of corroborating her story I had. Her blood, oh-two levels, mineralization of her bones, and so on. It could happen. But you know it isn’t likely, don’t you?”

  “I know I can’t go on without finding out the truth,” said Jessamyn.

  “Let me go with you, then,” said Pavel.

  Jessamyn turned to Pavel, resting her forehead against his and then brushing her lips softly against his mouth. A shiver ran through her that had nothing to do with the evening breeze. She pulled away.

  “I can’t let you do that, Pavel.”

  “Why not?”

  Jess ran her thumb along his cheek, across his eyebrow. “Because you look like you. How many people in a suburb of the capitol city wouldn’t know the Chancellor’s nephew on sight? What’s the reward for your return up to now?”

  Pavel scowled. “I need surgery.”

  Jess shook her head. “We’ve been through this. There’s more credit to be gained by turning Pavel Brezhnaya-Bouchard in to the authorities than there is to be made disguising him through surgical transformation.”

  “I thought I’d lost you once,” said Pavel, his voice a bare whisper. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

  “I’ll go, I’ll have a look, I’ll come back,” said Jess. “And you’ll tell me how to keep from being noticed.”

  Pavel gazed at her, nodded his agreement at last, and began to tell her as many things as he could think of to keep her safe. The moon was setting by the time Pavel finished.

  As they stood in silence, watching the moon pass behind Mount San Gorgonio, Pavel pulled Jessamyn close.

  She could feel his heart beating through the layers of clothing between them. He stared at her, his brows drawn together, his eyes settling on hers, one at a time, back and forth, as if he were willing himself to read her thoughts. The intensity of his gaze made Jess smile and drop her eyes.

  “Pavel,” she murmured his name.

  He pulled her head towards his and kissed her, his lips warm, crushing against hers.

  Her arms slid around his shoulders, and she held him so tightly there was no gap for the breeze to pass between them anymore. It murmured around them as though they were a single object.

  “I have to go,” she said at last, when they pulled apart for breath. “I have to. The future of Mars Colonial could be changed forever if Kip’s brother has his way. This is a chance to stop him. To give Mars a good future.”

  “I want Mars to have a future,” said Pavel. “The kind of future you dream of. And I mean to stand there at your side, Jessamyn Jaarda.”

  She smiled and kissed him softly, quickly. “Don’t tell anyone until tomorrow, when it’s too late for them to stop me.”

  “Take Renard’s ship,” said Pavel. “It’s less likely to draw notice than mine. And remember about flying low and slow.”

  Jessamyn nodded. “I won’t forget. And I’ll be back before you miss me.”

  Pavel pulled her close, not kissing her this time, just holding her against himself. Jess felt the heave and sigh of things he couldn’t put into words.

  “I miss you already, girl from Mars.”

  “I know,” she whispered back. “Me, too.”

  “Do you need credits? I’ve got a small coil somewhere …”

  “No,” said Jess. “My emergency pack has tellurium. And rations. I don’t think I’ll need to buy anything unless it’s really Kip and the physician in charge wants compensation.”

  Pavel grunted his agreement. “If you could wait a few days, a week maybe, we could get you a proper scan chip.”

  Jess shook her head. “It’s got to be now. I can feel it, Pavel.”

  Pavel accompanied her as she retrieved her pack. Then he reached inside one of his pockets and withdrew a small packet of dried fruit.

  “Dates,” he said. “Renard found them when he was tooling around one valley over. They’re delicious and they’ll break up the monotony of the bars.” He slipped the packet into her bag beside several cool strips of metal. “Hey, that’s a lot of tellurium to be carrying around.”

  Jessamyn shrugged. “I broke it into ten gram fingers. It’s standard issue for Mars Raiders. One pressed kilo.”

  “Just see you keep it hidden unless you need it. That kind of wealth can get you into a lot of trouble. Here,” Pavel said, fishing in another pocket. “Take this credit strip. There’s enough on here for anything s
mall.”

  Jessamyn began to protest, but Pavel shook his head. “I insist. It’s safer.”

  Jess smiled and tucked the strip into her pack.

  “Oh, and there’s one thing you have to do for me,” said Pavel. “Get a good cup of kávé—it’s Budapesti coffee and it’s like no other coffee in the world.” Pavel grinned ear to ear.

  “I’m more of a tea girl,” protested Jess.

  “Trust me on this. Kávé. At least once.”

  Jessamyn tipped her head in a way that could be taken as assent.

  They found Renard’s ship and Jessamyn settled into the driver’s seat and laid in a course for central Europe. Pavel knelt beside her still-open door.

  “Come back to me,” he murmured, his hands holding onto her as though he meant to keep her from leaving.

  Jessamyn wove her fingers through his.

  “I’ll always come back to you,” she said, her eyes gleaming with tears.

  Then she dropped his hand and blinked the tears away.

  Pavel stood and backed up, pushing the hatch until it sealed tight, cutting them off from one another.

  19

  LAST WISH

  Pavel decided to leave the Gopher Hole early the next morning, to avoid answering difficult questions about Jessamyn’s whereabouts. But as he made his way outside, Renard came barreling toward him.

  “Did you know about this?” Renard asked, waving a sheet of paper with a scrawled message.

  Pavel read the brief note from Gran several times, and a look of puzzlement grew on his face. At last he looked up and addressed Renard. “Is this a … normal custom in your village?”

  Renard stared at Pavel. “Are you kidding, man? Of course not.”

  Pavel read the note once more.

  I have outlived my usefulness. Do not follow me. I neither wish nor intend to be found. I leave my cloak and pipe for Renard who will know what to do with them. Gran.

  “Let’s go,” said Pavel, reaching to grab a pair of solar glasses.

  “Go?” asked Renard.

  “She’ll dehydrate quickly out there in her condition,” replied Pavel. “Shizer! What I wouldn’t give for twenty ccs of hospital-grade rehydrant.”

  Renard grabbed Pavel’s arm. “Don’t go. You can’t. She said so in the message.”

  Pavel’s mouth opened, closed, and opened again. “You said her behavior is not a normal custom in your village. Are you saying it is normal to not go after someone to save their life?”

  “Hey, forget normal, man. This isn’t your home. I don’t expect you to understand,” said Renard, his tone heated. “But these are her last wishes right here on paper. ‘Don’t follow me.’ I just wanted to see if she said anything to you yesterday when she was with you on your rounds.”

  Pavel shook his head. “I’m taking this up with the Shirff,” he said, heading for the Shirff’s office.

  But the Shirff agreed with Renard.

  “We can’t act in defiance of her clearly stated wishes.” He frowned. “I’ve heard of folks doing this sort of thing, back in my grandpappy’s day. We give her three days. If she don’t turn up by the end of the fourth day, we’ll have to declare her deceased,” said the Shirff.

  Pavel felt his pulse hammering in his skull. Every impulse in him said they should go look for her, should help her. But these weren’t his people, this wasn’t his home.

  “We may not like it, son,” said the Shirff. “And it ain’t what I’d call normal behavior. But Gran’s always been about as unconventional as they come. I’m sorry. I can’t disregard her last wish.”

  20

  FOURBODY

  This rescue would not be like last time. Jessamyn repeated the words again and again as she flew north, crossing Hudson Bay and the tip of Greenland, then hugging the coast of Northern Europe on her way to the Terran capitol of Budapest. She’d had months to rethink what had gone well and what had not when she’d attempted rescuing her brother from New Kelen Hospital.

  In some ways, her circumstances were similar: Ethan had been unconscious; Kipper might be in a coma. In other ways, the ways that she hoped mattered most, things were very different from that occasion. For one thing, Jess had the luxury of time. She had no ship of rations to which she must flee immediately back.

  In addition, New Kelen had been a high-security facility. Jess had ascertained that the Dunakeszi Clinic was not. It did not even retain security guards. From something Pavel had said, Jess believed this was an oversight on Lucca’s part. “When it comes to people, my aunt’s only interested in whoever can serve her immediate needs. Sure, she’d like to interrogate your captain. But if she’s been told that’s impossible, she’ll just move on to whoever’s next.”

  Jessamyn was counting on this.

  She had time, she had funding, she had a getaway vehicle. She brought her borrowed ship to rest in an abandoned quarry on the outskirts of Dunakeszi.

  The sky overhead was heavy with afternoon commuters when Jessamyn stepped out of the ship and into the quarry. She’d kept low to the ground, and even without the instruction and guidance of local air control, she’d managed to keep out of everyone’s way without drawing unwanted attention, which had involved some last-minute ducks and dives. She tried not to worry about how she would manage to keep Kipper comfortable on the flight back. Marsians were small—both of them would fit, certainly. But Jessamyn would have to avoid the sort of fancy flying she’d engaged in, which she could probably manage if she departed when the skies were less crowded.

  Doubts as to the wisdom of what she was attempting assailed her once more. She knew, in theory, how she was to keep Kipper on portable life-support, should the “Nurse Cassondra” theory prove nothing more than wishful thinking. Still, Jess wished she could have brought Pavel. His experience would have been so much better than her theory.

  But then she shook her head. Jess was done involving others in her rescue operations. Look what had happened to Crusty: shot and incarcerated. No. Jess could manage this alone. She would manage it alone.

  She threw a tarpaulin over the small vehicle. The tarp, which had effectively camouflaged the vehicle in Yucca, did not blend in well in the quarry. The rock was evidently of different composition. Jessamyn frowned. She reasoned, however, that a tarp would still prevent the sun from glinting off parts of the vehicle (which Renard kept polished to within an inch of its life) and left the tarp in place.

  The sun would be down here in a few hours time. She ought perhaps to have landed in darkness, but that would have meant spending a comfortless night aboard the ship or prowling the streets beside the hospital. No, she wanted to see things by the light of day first.

  She calculated the time back in Yucca. Her friends would be waking shortly. She wondered who would first discover her absence. And what they would make of it. What Pavel would say. But really, it didn’t matter. She was doing what she knew she had to do.

  Jessamyn passed quietly south on foot toward central Dunakeszi, which lay almost directly above the capitol city, along the Danube. As she walked, she tried to remember the tune of a song—something about the beautiful blue Danube. The river one street to her left was neither blue nor any color that might have been mistaken for blue. It was not particularly beautiful either. Although Jessamyn supposed that if the river could have been transported to New Houston, it would have seemed lovely enough.

  Her mind kept doing this—bringing forth small images and thoughts of home. They only recalled to her how far home was from her, how impossible to recover. She had lost Mars for good. And so she was learning to look away when the sun set upon Earth, casting the sky into familiar golds and reds; any noticed similarities between Earth and Mars were too painful and had to be avoided.

  She gave herself a mental shake: this was the time to focus on what she might regain, not on what was lost to her. Pushing her body, Jessamyn found she could walk faster. As fast, in fact, as any pedestrian upon the broad boulevard now spreading before her. The realization b
rought a small smile to one side of her face. She was adapting. She would continue to adapt.

  Dunakeszi Hospital and Clinic for Brain Injury. That was her destination. As she drew closer, consulting a palm-sized guidance device she’d taken from Renard’s ship, her heart beat more insistently. Surely, she thought, her heart was so loud that passersby would begin to stare. She tried to regulate her breathing but it was no use. Her heart hammered away.

  Never thought you’d be this excited to catch a glimpse of your captain, eh, Jaarda?

  Rounding the final corner between her and her destination, she saw the hospital. The building was painted salmon pink and adorned with baskets of red flowers. A battlement edge ran the width of the front of the structure, but the sides and back were plain. Jessamyn found it hard to imagine archers lurking behind the rooftop crenellations as they might have centuries ago. But even without archers, the building appeared to Jessamyn a place foreboding.

  As much as she wanted to rush the building like an ancient knight to free the captured damsel, she stuck to her original plan: buy a tea and a ration and sit on the sidewalk and observe.

  It was not a complicated plan. However, the absence of one of Budapest’s ubiquitous coffee shops made it more challenging. Jessamyn doubled back to a shop she’d passed before turning the corner and ordered a tea. She pointed to a crescent-shaped item dredged in what looked like carbon-snow.

  “What’s that?” she asked.

  “You want kifli?” asked the girl behind the pastry case.

  “Yes,” said Jessamyn. “And tea.”

  “No tea. Just coffee. You want coffee?”

  Jess hesitated. “I drink tea,” she said at last.

  “I make you coffee so delicious you will never drink tea again,” declared the girl.

  Jessamyn smiled, remembering Pavel’s request that she try kávé, and held out her credit strip. Watching as the girl scanned it sent Jess’s heart racing again. She had no way of knowing whether her credits would send security screeching around a corner to haul her away for questioning. But apparently the credits Pavel had given her were safe to use.