4th Wish

by Ed Howdershelt

  Then Jaline reappeared on the seat next to me, looking straight ahead with her hands together in her lap. The car behind me honked again, then another car honked. With a sense of resignation, I let off the brake and we headed for the parking lot's exit.

  With a small smile, Jaline said quietly, “Oh, good. We're finally moving. Does that mean that you believe me now?"

  Pulling my seat belt into place before we reached the street, I buckled it and said, “Buckle your seat belt. If we get stopped, the fine is one-eighty-five."

  She examined the shoulder belt as she pulled it across herself, then fastened it as she asked, “Will you make your wishes soon?"

  "Not until I know a bit more about the process."

  "What don't you understand? Make wishes. I'll grant them."

  "Yeah, well, I'm kind of worried about the aftermath, lady. Most of the stories I've read about genies ended rather unhappily. I'm wondering how—and why—someone put you in that bottle, too. Until I know a lot more about you, I won't be making any wishes, so if you want to hurry things along, you'll answer my questions and do your best to make me comfortable about you."

  After a moment of silence, she softly said, “I see. Do you mean ‘comfortable’ in the ways that other men have so often demanded of me?"

  I took my eyes off the traffic long enough to glance at her, then said, “Zap yourself up a chastity belt if you want. Are you really a woman, or did you just make yourself look like one because a man found your bottle?"

  "I was created female."

  "Are there others like you?"

  "Yes."

  "What'll you do when you're free of me?"

  Turning to look at me for a moment, she said, “That is none of your concern."

  "It is if you want to be free of me anytime soon. If you're really what you say you are, letting something like you run loose in the world could be a big mistake."

  Jaline glanced sharply at me and said, “I can't tell you."

  "Why not?"

  "I'm not allowed to reveal such things to mortals."

  Sighing, I said, “Again with that 'not allowed' stuff. Gee, how very damned convenient."

  Her voice was almost strident as she again turned to me and said, “I'm not lying to you. That isn't allowed, either."

  I chuckled, “For which I have only your word, of course. Very reassuring. But if it's true, it seems to me that someone put a lot of fences around you, ma'am. That makes me wonder why, but I'll bet your answer would be, 'I'm not allowed to tell you'. Right?"

  With an outright glare, she softly, tensely said, “Yes."

  Shaking my head with a small laugh, I said, “You ‘creatures of magic’ types must have a helluva union. What'll happen if you tell me something I'm not supposed to know?"

  "I'd rather not say."

  I grinningly exclaimed, “Whooo! All right! Finally something other than 'I'm not allowed to tell you'! Major progress! Hey, can you disappear and stay that way? Invisible?"

  Smiling slightly, she replied, “Yes. Is it your wish that I become invisible?"

  "Nope. It's part of your ticket to freedom, ma'am; part of the 'cooperation' thing I mentioned before. Work with me on this, ‘cause if you hurt my girlfriend by making her think I've already replaced her, you'll be waiting for me to make wishes for a long damned time. No silly games. Just do it. Once Selena's gone, you can pop back in and we'll square this thing away. It'll only be for a few days, okay?"

  After a moment of gazing at me almost studiously, Jaline nodded, said, “Yes,” and vanished, though I saw her seat belts still hugging her hips and chest.

  "Thank you,” I said. “Now, do you eat or drink? I mean, do you have to? I don't want you to starve or dehydrate or whatever."

  "No,” she said, “I don't have to eat or drink."

  "Great. I'm not interested in making you suffer, y'know."

  Her tone was wry as she said, “Thank you so very much."

  Pulling in at a convenience store, I went inside and bought two Creamsicles and two cold cans of sweetened tea. When I got back in the car, I handed Jaline one of each.

  "Here, Jaline. Try these."

  The clerk was looking out at me as she took the two items. I saw his eyes narrow as the wrapper apparently peeled itself away from Jaline's ice cream.

  "Uh, Jaline, could you make the ice cream and tea invisible, too? We have an audience, and...” The items disappeared before I could finish the sentence.

  "Thanks,” I said. “How do you like that Creamsicle? I don't think they had those back in 1917."

  Around a bite of it, she slurred, “Zhey ditn't. Umm. It'sh ferry good."

  "I think you'll like the tea, too."

  I felt a slight motion and realized that—even though I couldn't see her doing it—she had turned to look at me as she asked, “May I ask why you're suddenly being nice to me?"

  I shrugged and asked, “You're cooperating, right?"

  After a moment she said, “Yes. I am."

  "Then I have no reason to be difficult with you, whether all of this is for real or not. If it is real, all I want to do is get through it without any consequences."

  "Consequences?"

  "Yeah. In one story I read, the genie thanked the guy for freeing him, then tore him apart because he was human and a human had bottled him up. Psychotic stuff like that. Or like when another guy wished for a king's ransom in gold. The genie made the gold fall out of the sky on him. Killed him with it. And then there's the guy who wished to sit on the throne of his country.” Waving a hand dramatically, I said, “Poof. Done. He was suddenly sitting in the king's chair. The king's guards just as suddenly dragged him out of it and killed him. Want more?"

  Jaline giggled. “Poof?"

  "Yeah, poof,” I said around some ice cream. “You know; a puff of smoke or a flash of light and zap, one dead bottle-opener. No thanks. Hey, are the wishes transferable? Could I donate them to charity?"

  "No. You freed me. Only you may make your wishes."

  "Figures. It was just a thought."

  She giggled again. “Would you feel better if I told you that I have no intention of killing you?"

  "Oh, a little, yeah, but you might say that anyway. Want to hear about a bottle-opener who didn't get killed?"

  In a sardonic tone, she asked, “Oh, you actually know of one of those, as well?"

  "Sure. Three guys were shipwrecked on an island. Food and water were in short supply and they didn't get along well. One found a bottle and let a genie out of it. He wished to be back in his hometown. Poof, done. He wished for great wealth. Poof, done. In his excitement, he yelled, 'Boy, I wish those other two jerks could see me now!' Poof, done. He was back on the island with them, holding an empty bottle."

  There was absolute silence for a long moment, then a snicker that turned into a giggle that turned into a chortling laugh.

  Sipping my tea, I tossed my Creamsicle wrapper in the trash bag that hangs on the radio tuner knob and said, “Augustus Claudius said, 'Be wary of gifts from the gods.' Glancing in the direction of my unseen passenger, I said, “I think that probably applies to goddesses, too."

  "I'm not a goddess. I'm a Jinn."

  Reaching to strum the taut seat belt on her side of the car, I said, “Yeah, well, the difference isn't readily apparent to me, ma'am. Of course, neither are you at the moment."

  I heard the pop-hiss as she opened her tea, then nothing more for a time until she snickered again and said, “Thank you. I haven't had a reason to laugh for a long time."

  "You're welcome. Question: Why haven't genies taken over the world?"

  Slightly muffled by ice cream, her answer was, “I can only speak for myself. I don't want to take over the world."

  "Is there anything you do want?"

  She instantly replied, “My freedom."

  "Beyond that,” I shot back.

  "I need nothing beyond that."

  Shrugging, I said, “Well, then, I hereby declare you to be free."
/>   "You can't do that. As I told you, I must..."

  Sighing loudly to interrupt her, I gave her an exasperated look.

  After a moment, she quietly said, “A greater power has decreed it."

  "What greater power? Who? Where? How do I file a complaint?"

  "I'm not allowed to..."

  With a minor curse and a swat at the steering wheel, I said, “Yeah, yeah, all that."

  I put my empty tea can in the trash bag and started the car, then headed us back out on US-19. Silence reigned for some time before something occurred to me.

  "Jaline, can you assure me that nothing terrible will happen to me if I make a wish?” As an afterthought, I added, “And just to be clear about that, I mean the sorts of things that I would consider terrible."

  "Of course I can, but would you believe me?"

  "Well, probably not at this very moment, I guess. I've been trying to figure out how someone could make you get into that bottle, and about all I can come up with is; he or she used the third wish. Probably to try to get more wishes."

  I half-expected her to remain silent, really. Or even to deny it, but she didn't.

  "That's precisely what he did,” she said. “He thought I'd have to grant him three more wishes."

  "But that's not the way things work, is it?"

  "No. I tried very hard to convince him of that before he wished me back into the bottle, but...” her words trailed away.

  "What happened? Why didn't he let you out again?"

  After a few long moments, Jaline said, “He became afraid that I would kill him for reconfining me.” Pausing for a heartbeat or so, she added, “He was wrong. I'd have killed him for what he made me do to his people."

  Considering her words and tone for a moment, I said, “That probably means he did something that left some kind of a mark in history. Who was he?"

  "His name was Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov Lenin. Nicolai, to the gullible fools who believed they were his friends. He found my bottle in a cave when he and three of his followers sought refuge from the Tsar's men."

  In minor amazement, I muttered, “Well, Holy Shit, Batman! He's the guy who barfed up the Russian Revolution and made a third of the world Communist. That's why 1917 had such a familiar ring.” Turning to Jaline, I asked, “You're saying he made you make that happen?"

  She nodded. “Yes, through the manipulation of the minds of a great many other people. That's why I so poorly received your question about a wish for world peace. He used similar words quite often."

  I shook my head. “Yeah, I've heard some of that rhetoric. Most of it was pretty lame, but there are still people who parrot it and believe in it.” After a moment, I said, “But I'd just like to see people to be able to get along with each other for a change, Jaline; to learn some real global management skills, to get rid of their stupidities, and to stop blowing each other up."

  "Exactly how would you like me to accomplish that goal, Ed? How would you have me 'adjust' humanity to that end?"

  With a grin, I said, “Um. Yeah. Good question. Tell ya what; maybe we'll come back to that idea some other time. You sound as if you actually care what happens to people. Why?"

  "I don't wish humanity any harm. Does that surprise you?"

  "Maybe a little. After being locked up for a while, a lot of people would turn mean—a poor comparison, maybe, since you aren't human—and with your kind of power ... Huh. Never mind. A lot of people get like that without being locked up."

  The trash bag jostled as Jaline said rather dryly, “I've noticed that, too,” and her Creamsicle wrapper and tea can appeared in the bag.

  As I made the turn onto Northcliffe Boulevard, I asked, “How did you come to be locked in a jug in the first place? Or on Earth, for that matter? Was it a vacation that didn't work out well? Did you piss someone off to get sent here?"

  With a sigh, she said, “I can't tell you those things, Ed."

  "Thought you might say that. Jaline, I have to be able to trust you, at least a little. I want to know why you're here on Earth and how you came to be here before I turn something as powerful as you loose on the world. I won't wish you back into that bottle if you don't tell me, but like I said, it could be a damned long time before you get any wishes out of me."

  She sat silent the full three minutes to Commodore Avenue and my driveway. Selena's blue Ford was parked on the swale in front of my house. I pointed at it and said, “Selena's here. Pretend you don't exist until she's gone, okay?"

  "You've already instructed me about her and I agreed."

  "Yeah, but I just want to be sure. She's one of the nicer people I've known and I don't want her last days with me to turn sour. Um ... Does your sticking around mean that we won't have any privacy?"

  "I need only be where I can be summoned conveniently."

  "So ... Okay, I guess. Remember how I knew you were behind me on the sidewalk at the restaurant? I'll probably know if you're in the room, too."

  "You sound very sure of that."

  "Lots of practice, ma'am. Experiences in nasty places. Yes, I'm fairly sure of it."

  A thought occurred to me and I asked, “Is sticking so close to me just a means of pressuring me to hurry up and make the wishes? I have a feeling you could be on the other side of the world and hear me if I called you."

  With rich, soft laughter, she said, “Yes. I could."

  "Then how about going sightseeing for a few days, ma'am? Go see what's new in the world since 1917. Something like that. I won't disappear in the next three days. Besides, I think you could probably find me if I did."

  "If something happened to you during my absence, I'd be unable to fulfill my debt."

  "If something happened to me, the debt would end."

  "No, it wouldn't. I'd be trapped here."

  Unable to think of a counter to that, I muttered, “Well, that really sucks."

  "What?"

  "Just an expression. I think it's unfair. If I die, why should you be stuck here?"

  Sighing, she said, “It's the way of things."

  Selena's face appeared in my kitchen window. She undoubtedly wondered why I hadn't gotten out of the car and I didn't want her to see me talking to thin air, so I said, “Oops. Gotta go now,” and got out of the car.

  At the door I glanced back at the car and saw exactly what I'd expected; nothing. Selena opened the front door and I went in. She pulled me into a hug and a kiss as usual, but I realized something was amiss. No cats surrounded our ankles. I looked in the kitchen and saw all three cats with their noses to the window screen, vastly interested in whatever was outside. Following their unwavering gazes, I realized they weren't watching a lizard; their faces were focused on apparently nothing at a spot more than five feet above the front porch. Moocher stood up and preened as he always did when someone new was around.

  "Ed?” asked Selena.

  "Yes'm? I was just wondering what they were staring at."

  She looked where I had and said, “There's nothing out there. Cats just like to mess with our heads now and then."

  Kissing her again, I asked, “Did you decide to skip your going-away party tonight?"

  "Cathy rescheduled it for this afternoon to surprise me. I hate surprises. When I got wind of it I went home around noon, caught her in the act, and turned it into a pizza party.” Hugging me again, she said, “I slipped out at four. I wanted to be here.” With a little grin, she added, “I do hope I haven't inconvenienced you, sir."

  "Oh, not at all, milady. I thought you might pull something like this, so I tossed my other four girlfriends out before three, just in case."

  She laughed, “Good thinking,” pointed at two pizza boxes on the stove, and said, “Dinner is served."

  We attacked the pizza and washed it down with Ice House beer at the kitchen table. Both of us noticed that the cats seemed very interested in an area by the kitchen sink and Selena speculated there must be something in the cabinet.

  When Selena went to the bathroom, I whispered, “Ja
line."

  From somewhere by the sink came her quiet, “Yes?"

  "Grab a beer and some pizza and take it to the back porch if you want."

  "Oh, are you feeling sorry for me now?"

  "No, but I'm feeling somewhat guilty because I can't invite you to join us."

  She snickered softly. “At least you're honest about it.” With a wistful tone to her voice, she said, “I'd love to be included, even in such a very modest way, but..."

  I sighed and said, “Oh, hell, lady. Just do it or don't. All you'll miss is pizza and beer, and they'll be available later."

  She didn't even open the fridge door. I heard the muffled clink of bottles inside the fridge, then the soft hiss of a bottle opening a couple of feet away. A bottle cap landed in the trash and two of the pizza slices disappeared, then all the cats traveled in a loose cluster to the sliding glass porch doors, which opened slightly for them and closed after them.

  Some moments later, Selena returned and asked, “I thought I heard the porch doors. Did you go out?"

  "Nope. They did.” I thumbed at the cats nibbling pizza bits on the porch table.

  Selena sat down and went back to work on her own pizza. Out of sight was out of mind; the topic of conversation shifted from my cats to other things fairly quickly.

  Dinner. Drinks. Talk. Dancing in the living room to the kinds of music that allow you to hold your partner in your arms. Long showers with lots of soap and play. The bedroom. Sadness about soon being so far apart. Gladness to have the whole weekend before she had to leave. Promises to visit each other on long weekends and call frequently.

  In other words, just like all the other times. Anna, Kim, Beverly, Brenda. Marsha, Susan, Linda ... I had no illusions; the calls and visits would decrease over time and finally cease. She'd find a guy in Tallahassee and I'd find a woman a bit closer to home. With only a few small variations, the fond reenactment continued until sleep overcame us.

  Odd, soft noises from the living room woke me around four in the morning. I went quietly out there and looked around in the dim glow from the night-lights. At first I saw nothing, then I noticed the third volume of my ten-year-old encyclopedia floating open before the bookcase. I left Jaline to her reading and went back to bed.