by Kelsey King
“I guess,” I say before I can stop myself. “People get married because they love each other. Not everyone grows apart like they did. It seems to me that they’d rather be miserable together than be miserable alone.”
“Coming from someone who moved all the way up here to hide away,” she taunts. I’m still getting used to being teased by someone other than Penelope, but coming from Kacee, I don’t really mind. In fact, I kind of look forward to seeing what’ll come out of her mouth.
“Some people marry for love,” I remind her. “I did.”
She looks at me again. “Yeah, you did.”
Our gaze is frozen in time. I open my mouth then close it, and she turns away.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve—”
“No, I—” I begin then stop. “It’s fine.”
“Okay,” she mumbles and looks back at the fire. “Jackson read a whole comic today. I think he might be ready to start on an easy reader book soon. One with fewer pictures.”
I recognize the change in conversation for what it is and am thankful.
“Yeah?” I ask. “You’ve been doing really great with them.”
“It’s because they’re amazing kids and willing to learn and take any challenge I throw their way. You’ve done a great job getting them to this point.”
“And no further,” I deadpan, but she waves me off.
“You did the right thing,” she tells me. “You got help, even if you were reluctant about it at first. I can see how much you really love your kids and only want the best for them, even if you hated me at first and didn’t want me anywhere near—”
“I didn’t hate you,” I interrupt, my jaw ticking with regret. I was such an asshole to her.
She looks at me.
“I didn’t,” I stumble. “I don’t. Still, don’t hate you, I mean.” Fuck, why does she make me so goddamn flustered?
She raises an eyebrow. “Really? Could’ve fooled me.” Her lips tip into a suspicious grin.
I don’t want her to think I’ve ever hated her, but I haven’t had to talk about my feelings in years, and the words don’t seem to want to come. “I never hated you.”
Her eyes widen with relief. “Good. That makes me happy to hear at least.” The corners of her mouth tilt up until she’s smiling wider. Her body slightly leans in, and I move to accommodate her. I find myself wanting to be closer, which is almost too close.
“Well, now I know you don’t hate me. I can finally sleep at night.” She smirks. She keeps looking at me, but for a split second, her attention darts down to my mouth. She sucks her lips into her mouth as if she’s reminding herself to hold back. The flickering fire accompanied by the wine puts me in a haze, and suddenly it doesn’t seem like a bad idea to let my guard down with her. I’ve been holding back while she’s been here slotting herself into my family, making herself at home, effortlessly into our lives.
“I—” I start, and she shakes her head, just slightly.
“It’s okay,” she interjects. Her eyes bore into mine, and the temptation is sizzling between us, hotter than ever.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders, holding her and feeling her soft skin against my rough palm. She stares at me, her eyes filled with desire and lust. My heart beats hard and fast in my chest, wondering if I’m misreading her signs or not. I’ve been out of practice for years, and this all feels so foreign to me. When she starts leaning toward me, her hand rests on my leg, and I follow her lead. Our mouths drawing toward each other, my willpower crumbling to shreds. She leans in even further when I hear shuffling behind me.
“Oh my God,” Kacee exclaims, clutching her hand to her chest. I jump backward, trying to put distance between us as Jackson comes barreling into the living room. He slams into my legs and climbs into my lap, clutching me tightly.
“What’s going on?” I ask, rubbing his back as he catches his breath.
“I had a nightmare,” he gasps tearfully. I force myself not to look up at Kacee over his head, instead focusing on pulling him back to look at his face. I rub his back to settle his nerves. He begins to calm down, now that he knows he’s safe. His gasps calm into hiccupping cries, then transform into sighs.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kacee asks, and Jackson twists around to see her face. He hesitates then shakes his head. “Okay, that’s fine. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he mumbles. He turns from me and holds out his arms and Kacee stands and lifts him up, holding him close. It makes my whole heart twist.
“Why don’t I take you to bed and stay with you until you fall asleep?” Kacee offers, and Jackson buries his face in her neck and nods.
She looks to me and mouths ‘be right back.’ I nod as she takes Jackson to his room.
As I watch her walk away, all I can think of is how bad of an idea this is. I shouldn’t get involved with my kid’s nanny. The woman living in my house, teaching my children, invading my space. She’s gorgeous; I noticed that the first second I saw her, but that also means trouble. My heart is torn, filled with uncertainty. My body tells me yes, while my head tells me no.
I’m afraid of forgetting Rebecca, of tainting her memory, of feeling like I’m replacing her in some strange way. I’m scared of moving on and letting my guard down, and then it ends up not working out.
If I do this—if I mix business with pleasure—Evie and Jackson wouldn’t understand if she left. I would’ve taken away their teacher, the only woman besides their aunt to be in their lives. I don’t want to confuse them or be left behind if something happens. Her sudden departure would only hurt them while crushing me.
It’s for the best that we don’t cross those lines.
I hear soft footsteps on the wooden floor and turn around and see Kacee smiling.
I take her in her beauty and curves and can’t help but think how my willpower is being tested more and more each day.
And how I’m about to fucking lose.
6
Kacee
Jackson went back to sleep fairly quickly as I rubbed his back. I still feel flushed, overwhelmed by whatever just almost happened between Parker and me. His face was so close, and I can’t help thinking what would’ve happened had we not been interrupted.
I have to pause and take a moment to gather myself in the hallway. I don’t want to make a move, because I don’t want to push Parker or upset him. Now since the opportunity presented itself to me, an all-consuming want has taken over my senses.
I take a deep breath and walk back into the living room. Parker’s head snaps around to look at me. There’s so much intensity in his stare, and the energy in the room has changed. Now I’m worried I pushed him over an invisible edge—some inappropriate line—and the last thing I want is to start back to square one with his silent treatment and short answers.
He frowns at me, and know I’ve really screwed things up this time.
“What’s wrong?” he finally asks.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to cross a line, and I shouldn’t’ve said anything, or done anything, I just—I got caught up in the moment, and I—”
“No,” he says, cutting off my rambling. He gets up and crosses the room to me, towering over me. “Don’t apologize.” His voice is gentle and the firelight flickering on his face gives me to the ability to see the softness in his gaze.
“I’m sorry that you thought I hated you. I have a tendency to…be an asshole sometimes. As you know, I’m not social. It’s not you, it’s me—”
I hold back from laughing, “That’s the oldest rejection line in the book,” I tell him. “You’re my boss,” I remind him matter-of-factly, though it’s more to remind myself of that fact. I glance over at the fire, not able to continue staring into his beautiful blue eyes. “I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“Don’t,” he interrupts me. “Stop apologizing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
I laugh, nervously. I can’t help it. “I got lost in the moment and shouldn’t have. I know how wrong it
is, but—”
“Kacee, please stop,” he says, placing his finger on my lips and stopping me. I’m stunned into silence because his touch rattles me. The way he says my name in a gravelly voice sets my inside on fire. I’ve never felt this kind of attraction before, and it somewhat scares me. The effect he’s had on me in such a short time has my mind swirling with emotions.
His free hand grabs mine, and I don’t move a muscle. I stare up at him, feeling the nervous energy seeping out of me with his overwhelming calmness and kindness. I don’t want him to stop touching me. Unable to pull away, I don’t break eye contact, and neither does he.
“It’s okay,” Parker states firmly. He seems just as affected as I do by this moment. I bite my lip, and he takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a second. When he opens them back up, all his focus is on me. My heart stutters in my chest, then picks up, racing and pounding in my throat.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, so damn softly, I’m sure I must’ve heard him wrong.
Feeling like I’ll pass out if I try to speak, I just nod, dumbfounded. I hadn’t anticipated him asking, but damn, am I glad he did.
Parker leans in slowly, so carefully, as if I’ll break. Our mouths instantly mold together as I close my eyes, sinking into his gentle touch. For someone who hasn’t done this in almost five years, he’s shockingly good at it. He holds me tightly and tips my head, finding the perfect position for our lips to slide together, and for our noses to fit.
Parker doesn’t stop there, and before long, his tongue comes to the seam of my lips and glides there, begging for permission. His hands slip down to my waist, and he tugs me closer until my body is lined up with his. I throw my arms around his neck to pull him closer, feel him harder against my body. His lips are warm and soft, and I never want them off me. The moment is heated as our mouths hungrily devour one another. I nearly scramble to climb him, to get him even closer somehow. I reach down for his belt, and one of his huge hands wraps around my wrists, startling me.
“Hey,” he says, breathlessly, and I’m abruptly worried I went too far. “Let’s not do this here. Let’s go to my bedroom.”
“Okay,” I whisper. I reach up and tangle my fingers in his messy hair, pulling him back down to my lips and kiss him again. He breaks the kiss momentarily and reaches down, almost kneeling before he flattens his hands against the backs of my thighs and effortlessly lifts me up to his body. “Ahh!” I squeal in shock. It feels like the air has been knocked out of my lungs, his eagerness is so unexpected. Clinging to him—my arms around his neck, his hands on my ass holding me up—we mold our mouths together again.
He smiles against my lips and carries me down the hallway to his bedroom, which has always felt off-limits. I’ve barely even seen or let alone been inside it. Before I can think about what’s happening, he slowly drops me to my feet.
His mouth whispers in my ear, so softly, it tickles.
“Take off your clothes, baby,” he instructs. Baby. God. That sends a shiver down my spine, and I want to obey his every command, so I willingly start undressing. As I unbutton my dress, he shuts the bedroom door and locks it, double-checking to make sure the knob won’t turn. By the time he turns around, I’m sliding the dress down my shoulders, allowing it to pool at my feet.
“Come here,” I say, and he does in three smooth strides. I feel his warm hands memorizing every inch of my naked body. My eyes flutter closed, and I melt into him.
Parker gently lays me on the bed before standing. I watch intently as he removes his shirt, unbuckles his belt, and eventually slides his jeans and boxers down. This man is built like an Adonis. So built and sexy, it’s hard not to stare, or drool.
He slowly climbs on the bed until his mouth and body are hovering above me. I want this. I need him.
The way he looks into my eyes makes me shiver with nerves. Everywhere our bare skin touch is hot like fire. It burns so wonderfully along my body, and I don’t know how much longer I can wait to feel him inside me. Based on the low moan he releases when he reaches my mouth to kiss me again, I know he needs this just as badly as I do.
I slide my hand down between us and wrap it around his growing erection. He’s big and hard, and it feels hot in my hand. I’m so damn hungry for him. I feel my whole body aching for his touch. I give him a few strokes, then release him, allowing his length to fall against my thigh. He groans into my throat.
“You’re fuckin’ killing me,” he growls, and I feel exactly the same way. I arch my back, so my thigh presses against him, and he moans again, dipping his head to bury it in the nape of my neck. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Kacee.”
He reaches down between us, feeling my folds before easing his fingers through my wetness. The pad of his thumb circles my clit before he dips his fingers inside, and I gasp at the intrusion.
“Oh God, Parker,” I say, arching my back again. He’s hot and hard against me, and I want nothing more than to have him inside me, filling me up, allowing our bodies to meet.
“I need you.”
He pulls his hand away, and I briefly regret saying anything. He kneels over me, lining himself up with my entrance. His eyes meet mine, and I can’t see anything but him. I focus on his eyes, on his mouth, on his beautiful features. Those dark blue eyes are so attentive, looking straight into me, warm and heated.
We don’t break eye contact until his head dips. Carefully, Parker pushes inside me, slowly allowing me to adjust as he takes root. Once he’s in all the way, his hips press to mine.
I slide my hands around his waist, guiding him as deep as he’ll go. Feeling his cock inside me sends a thrill down my spine, all the way to my toes. He feels so damn good, I’m finding it hard to control my breathing and moaning.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His hand shifts so he can weave it through my hair, tangling his fingers in the strands. “So goddamn wet.” He grunts, pleasure fueling his animalistic hunger. He cups my bare breast next, and I squeal when he plucks my hard nipple. I should’ve known he’d be attentive, and I’m eager for more.
Parker reaches up and takes a fistful of my hair, tugging my head back to expose my throat. I gasp in delight, loving the way he’s taking control, hunger raging through his veins the same way it’s coursing through me.
He bends down and presses his lips there and then scraps his teeth along the sensitive flesh. His pace is smooth and fluid like we were meant to be this way, and I can’t get enough of him. I want him to climb inside me and stay there forever, just like this. And when he looks into my eyes, it feels like he might.
“Fuck, Kacee,” he moans, pushing himself up on one hand and holding himself up. He disentangles his other hand from my hair and reaches down to play with my clit. My head drops against the pillows, and I’m enveloped in the scent of him from the sheets below and him above. The air feels thick, and I just let myself, get lost in it all, my hands tangled in my own hair as he works me to the ledge.
Grabbing my leg, he rests my ankle on his shoulder, driving himself even deeper. I feel every inch of him, and it’s a feeling I don’t ever want to be without. The way he looks at me is nothing like I’ve seen or felt before and that’s how I know this isn’t wrong. It’s right—so, so right.
“Jesus, baby. You feel so good. Too good,” he praises, increasing his speed when he feels my build up.
My body tightens, and I’m so close, I know I won’t be able to control myself. Reaching for a pillow, I cover my mouth to keep from waking the kids. I’m coming so hard, unraveling so fast as moans escape my lips. My body convulses as the orgasm rocks and shatters through me, and I feel as if I’m floating in space.
“Holy shit,” Parker curses as he tips over the edge. Hot, full sensations burst through me as he shudders on impact. His hand on me stills as he braces himself and drops, crashing our mouths together, kissing me through his intense release.
Once we catch our breaths, he eases out with a satisfied sigh. He ducks his head down, sealing his mouth over mine once more.<
br />
His arms give out, and he collapses next to me with a smile. I laugh, and he lifts his head, looking at me.
“That was incredible,” he breathes out. Turning to face me, he rests his palm over my cheek and grins. “You’re incredible.”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist, holding him there.
“You are too,” I say honestly, and he smiles, the widest, most genuine smile I’ve ever seen on his face.
“I’m out of practice.” He chuckles.
“Just like riding a bike, right?” I tease, and we both laugh. Could’ve fooled me he’s been out of practice because he knew exactly which buttons to press, which makes him even hotter. He worked my body as if he’d been studying it for weeks.
We lay in bed for a moment, catching our breaths before he gets up and drags me with him to the bathroom to clean off and get ready to go to sleep. Once we’re done, Parker brings me to his bed, and I briefly wonder if I should head back to my room, but it doesn’t really matter—the two of us are always up before the kids are anyway.
Parker pulls me to his side, wrapping an arm around me and holding me close. “I can’t believe we did that,” I say, once we’re both under the covers and he’s already half-asleep. He chuckles a soft, breathy laugh.
“Me neither,” he says. He settles in again, and his breath steadies.
I’m left alone with my thoughts, which is something I actively avoid, but honestly, I don’t know any feeling better than this. I’m content and happy, and I never want this to end. I wish we could stay just like this forever.
In his sleep, Parker throws his arm over me, pulling my back into his chest. I snuggle into him and can’t help but think how this will change everything.
I only hope we don’t end up regretting it.