by Kelsey King
“Can I come in?” I ask, hopeful. “I’d like the opportunity to apologize.”
She studies me for a moment, pinching her lips together as if she’s genuinely contemplating her decision.
“Okay.” She steps back so I can walk in and when I pass her, the smell of vanilla hits my senses. Fuck, she smells the same and so damn good.
Kacee shuts the door behind her and leads me to her small living room. She motions for me to take a seat and sits in the chair across from me.
“Kacee, I…” I inhale deeply, gathering my thoughts. “I’m so fucking sorry. I know that anything I say won’t excuse my behavior and how I treated you, but you have to know I regret it all. I shouldn’t have freaked out. It’s been so long, and my emotions got the best of me. It’s a poor excuse, I know, but I had a dream about my late wife—”
“Penelope told me,” she blurts out, cutting me off. Her voice is soft and gentle as if she’s holding no judgment. “She explained what you said to her.”
“I should’ve just told you,” I admit. “You’re the first woman I’ve fallen in love with since she died, and I never imagined I’d fall in love again. I didn’t want to. I felt like I didn’t deserve to when she was no longer here. For years, I battled with how to even live my life. It didn’t seem fair that I get to have one when hers was taken away.” My throat goes dry even when I try to swallow, it feels like razor blades. My eyes close for a moment, feeling relief as I pour my heart and soul out for the first time in years. When I open them, Kacee is kneeling in front of me.
“I know, Parker. I know.” She rests a hand on my knee. “It’s why I stayed away. I knew you needed time.”
I cup her face, rubbing my thumb softly against her warm cheek. “I’m so sorry, baby. You deserve so much better than what I did to you.”
“I won’t lie and say I wasn’t hurt, or rather, pissed. I cried a lot, though that’s due mostly to my hormones, but since then I’ve also decided to forgive you. Being mad at you was only hurting me more, and I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I have other important things in my life to worry about.”
“I wish I could’ve been the one to heal your pain, but I understand why you kept your distance.”
“Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I wanted to give in several times and drive up to see you and the kids. But I knew when you were ready, you’d find your way to me again.” She smiles so sweetly; I’m finding it physically hard to keep my distance from her now.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” I grin. “I was expecting you to hate me honestly. Slam the door in my face. Punch me in the throat.”
“Oh trust me. I wanted to do all those things. Had you showed up a month ago, I would’ve taken those flowers and shoved them down your throat.”
“Fuck,” I snicker. “Glad I decided against the knife set I had my eye on.”
“Har har.” She rolls her eyes.
The doorbell rings, breaking our moment. She stands to retrieve it, and I watch as she grabs her bag of food.
“Are you hungry?” she asks, bringing in two bags. “I have enough to feed a small village.”
“Sure, I’m starving.” I stand and follow her to the kitchen. It’s bright and fits her perfectly. “Your apartment is nice.”
“Thanks.” She grabs two plates from the cupboard before handing me one. “It’s a little small, but I plan on moving to a bigger place in a few months or so.”
“Well, I was hoping you’d move back to the mountains with me,” I blurt out. Kacee spins and faces me with her mouth ajar. I round the small island in the middle and grab her hands. “That’s if you’ll give us a second chance.”
“Parker…I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything now, but just think about it, okay? I want to make this up to you. That’s if you still want me.” I swallow, wondering if she’s already moved on and forgotten what we had.
“Parker, I’m—” She licks her lips, darting her eyes back and forth from the floor to me. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I gasp, stepping back to look at her.
“I was going to tell you that day,” she explains, which feels like a sucker punch to the gut. Fuck, I’m worse than an asshole. I’m scum. “You called me in, and I was going to tell you then, but then we had sex, and I was going to do it after your nap. But well—”
“Then I fucked it all up,” I finish for her, shocked and more frustrated with myself than before. “You don’t deserve my emotional baggage, Kacee. You deserve so much more.”
“I’d agree with you if I didn’t think about you every single day,” Kacee admits with a lazy smile. “I miss you. And the kids. The mountains and the fresh air. I miss it all.”
“They miss you, too. I’ve missed you. I royally screwed up.” I bow my head, not sure how I’m ever going to be able to forgive myself for telling my pregnant girlfriend to leave. “Do you know the baby’s gender?” I ask, breaking the tension.
“No, it’s too early. I’m about ten weeks along.”
Kneeling, I place my hands on her stomach and feel a small bump forming there. Tears well in my eyes as I think of another little life being created. Another life I helped create, too. I want this baby, and I want her. I want to give them the world.
“Please let me be here for you and our baby. I promise never to hurt you again.”
“Parker.” Her voice cracks. “Don’t say promises you aren’t sure you can keep.”
Standing, I wrap a hand around her neck and pull her mouth to mine. I’m not much with words, but I can show her how much I plan to keep this fucking promise. I’d die before hurting her again—that much I know.
Kacee gives in and sinks against me, letting me take the lead as I swirl my tongue with hers.
I step forward until her back hits the counter. Pouring everything I can into this one kiss, I show her exactly how I feel without words. She deserves everything, and I fully intend to give her everything I can. I want to devote my entire life to her and our family, no second-guessing that being happy doesn’t mean I’ve replaced my late wife and our happiness.
I’ve had to learn a lot about myself in the last six weeks, and one thing was not taking anything for granted.
“Kacee,” I whisper against her lips. “I’m so madly in love with you, and I hope you can feel how sorry I am for hurting you. I vow never to push you away again. It’s a promise I’ll keep for as long as I live.”
“I’ve been crazy in love with you too, Parker. I have been for so long,” she admits while resting her forehead against mine.
I wrap my hands around her waist, cradling her stomach. “I want this life with you. Please accept my apology.”
Kacee looks up at me with tear-filled eyes, but her lips break out into a smile. “I want this life, too.”
10
Kacee
THREE MONTHS LATER
“I can’t believe you’re making me walk this far,” I playfully complain. The walk isn’t really that far, and Parker carried me up the actual part of it that had an incline. “I’m six months pregnant with your baby. We should’ve gotten a wagon or something.”
“You’re a woman of the woods,” Parker reminds me, teasing. “Gotta get used to hiking, baby.” He looks back and smiles at me.
We’ve almost reached the top of the hill, so he takes my hand and guides me up the last few yards to the peak. Standing there at the summit is satisfying, and I can see the house from the top. Parker sets down the basket he brought and looks out over the crest with me.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell him. The sun hasn’t started coming up yet, so the sky is still a combination of purple-and-orange hues, clear skies waiting to be brightened, stars waiting to blink out until night falls again.
The lake below us reflects the gorgeous colors of the sky, and I glance at the cabin again where Evie and Jackson are still sleeping. Penelope slept over last night in the guestroom, which is how we were able to escape this early in the morning.
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We haven’t come up here before, but he’s been promising for months now. I’m excited we’re finally able to, even if my feet are swollen.
“Baby, come here,” Parker says, as he pulls a blanket out of the basket and fans it on the ground. He helps me sit down on it before he unpacks the other things he brought—breakfast sandwiches, muffins, and coffee, which he assures is decaf.
“It’s such a nice mountaintop,” I say, and he laughs.
“This is barely a mound,” he replies, but he sits next to me and lets me lean against him.
As the sun finally starts to rise, peeking up over the horizon, it takes my breath away. He shifts his body so he’s behind me and I can sit between his legs. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close, working his fingers gently through my hair and rubbing at my shoulder now and then. I lean back against his chest quietly, watching the sunrise, just happy to be together in this moment.
“Sorry it took me so long to bring you up here,” he says, once the sun has fully jumped over the horizon. I look over my shoulder up at him and smile. “It’s okay. It’s really gorgeous. You definitely don’t get a view like this in the city.”
“Hell no.” Parker laughs. His hand drifts down to brush the swell of my stomach. His fingertips glide over my body, and I feel so damn safe in his arms. I wasn’t sure we’d ever get to this point, but am so glad we did. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I see it on his face every day that he’s ecstatic about our growing family.
I tip my face up to look at him again, and he takes the opportunity to kiss me on the cheek. He trails his fingers over my stomach again and rubs it like a magic crystal ball. “I guess we really do everything backward, don’t we?”
“Hmm?” I ask, distracted by his touch, too focused on his hands to process his words. “Oh! I suppose we do.” I shrug, not minding the journey. It wasn’t always easy, but I’m so in love with him and this life, that it was all worth it.
“You got the job and moved in before I was even looking to hire anyone. We had sex before we even started dating. What else is there?”
“Don’t tell anyone that,” I jokingly scold him. He kisses the top of my head.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe. But we did. You became a new mother to my kids before I even thought to look for one.” He hesitates. I glance up at him, and his lips brush against my mine, seemingly still thinking. “Now, we’re having a baby. Before getting married.”
“We talked about this,” I tell him, brow creasing. “We decided that was okay.” He kisses the tip of my nose, and I settle back down against his chest, but I feel him fidgeting with his pocket. I lift my body from him, trying to see what he’s doing and when I turn he’s holding open a black velvet box. The ring sparkles in the sunlight and all I can do is cover my mouth, shocked and speechless.
“Kacee, sweetheart. You’re the love of my life, and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. You’re my best friend, confidant, and mother to our children. There aren’t enough words in the world to tell you how much I love you and need you, but if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you every single day. I know we do everything backward, and I love that about us. Will you please marry me?”
I nod, tears streaming down my face. “Yes, absolutely,” I force out, wanting to yell it to the world that Parker is going to be my husband. He slips the ring on my finger, and it’s a perfect fit. I lean in and kiss him, wanting to devour him.
My heart swells with the unanticipated moment, and I can’t stop looking at the ring and his gorgeous face. It’s perfect, and I look up at him, and he’s perfect. “I’m so happy.”
“You make me happy, Kacee. You’ve just made me the happiest man in the world.” I pull him in for another kiss. It quickly deepens, his tongue making its way into my mouth.
“God, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” I say when our kiss breaks.
He laughs and pulls me in close, embracing me tightly. He reaches down between us to lay a hand on my belly, the other hand wrapping up in my fingers. His eyes meet mine. Those brilliant, warm, blue eyes I fell in love with, and I can’t help but think how lucky I am.
Parker is loving, gentle, and tender, and when he wants to be—wild and passionate. He’s everything I could’ve ever wanted and never thought to ask for, and his family have become mine. I love his children like they’re my own because they are now. His sister is my best friend, and soon she’ll officially be my sister. Everything is better than I ever thought it could be, even if it sometimes seemed like we’d never get here.
He’s bathed in orange, a hot yellow, and the new morning sun washing over us both. “I’m happy for all of us.”
He smiles and kisses me again. I settle back in between his legs against as he feeds me our breakfast. Once we’re finished, we decide to make our way down the hill to share the news. It’s slow going, but I try to enjoy every second of it. Before we make it to the house, Evie and Jackson come sprinting out the front door toward us.
They fly to my sides and snuggle in, Jackson already whispering to the baby. He’s so excited to be a big brother and takes every opportunity he can to talk to his new little sibling.
“Where have you been?” Evie asks. I tug her closer and kiss the crown of her head.
“Your dad had a question to ask me,” I tell her, winking, and she looks excitedly up at Parker.
“You did it?” she demands, clearly thrilled. I look at Parker and raise an eyebrow.
“I had to ask for their blessing before I asked you,” he explains sweetly, and it just makes so much sense for a man whose children are his life that I laugh.
“Well, I’m glad I got your approval,” I tell Evie.
She snorts. “Of course you did,” she said. “I never want you to leave ever again. You’re my best friend.”
“Hey!” Jackson exclaims. Evie rolls her eyes at him.
“I can have two best friends,” Evie tells him. Jackson stops being mad and smiles, looking up at me.
“You can be my best friend, too,” Jackson says. “And my mommy.”
His words go straight to the depths of my heart. I kneel and pull him into my arms.
Evie wraps her arms around me too. “And my mommy too.”
Before long Parker is joining us, and we’re all hugging and laughing, and I have to try not to cry.
“I’ll always be here for you two,” I tell them, and they squeeze me even tighter. The pregnancy hormones mixed with my happiness almost causes me to cry, but I somehow hold it back.
“I love you,” Parker says to me, looking back at the kids and then to me.
“I love you too,” I tell him, and as the early morning sun washes over us, I know this is the life I was always meant to have.
Epilogue
KACEE
FIVE YEARS LATER
“Hey, hey, hey!” Parker calls out. I glance over from my spot in the lawn chair, trying to find who he could possibly be yelling at. By the time I see him, all six feet and four inches of him, he’s got a hold of eleven-year-old Evie, and he’s throwing her over his shoulder. She shrieks and squirms to get free, but fails. She might be as tall as her father one day, but right now she’s not even five feet tall yet. Just as I taught her too, she drops her weight, and he releases her. She sprints free, laughing. They’ve been playing tag for half an hour now, but considering I’m eight months pregnant with twins, I chose to tap out.
I recline in my lawn chair in the nice summer heat as Jackson sprints around the house and tackles Evie to the ground. Like his father, Jackson is going to be tall as well. He’s the same height at Evie but takes her down like she’s a sack of potatoes.
“Hey!” I call out, and they both look up at me. “No broken bones and I mean it this time. Just because we live in the woods doesn’t mean you’re being raised by wolves.”
Evie just cackles as Jackson calls back. “Sure thing, Mom!” Then rolls his sister onto her back, demanding that she call uncle, which she’l
l never do. That girl never surrenders.
Their little brother comes running over, having abandoned his strategy of hiding behind the biggest tree he could find. Christopher, almost five years old, might end up like me because he’s nowhere near as tall as Evie or Jackson were at his age. Despite his height, he’s the spitting image of his father. His features are the same, and he has dark, thick hair, just like Parker’s. His dark blue eyes stand out from his freckled little face.
“Wait for me!” Christopher calls taking a sharp turn and slamming right into Parker’s legs. Parker picks him up by the back of the shirt and sets him back onto his feet, dusting him off.
“Watch where you’re going, kid,” he tells him, laughing, and Christopher nods before setting off again.
After so many years of this, it stresses me out less to see how careless children can be, but I still watch him with an alert eye.
The youngest—or current youngest—is two-year-old, Adeline who stumbles after Christopher. She looks up to her older siblings so much. I see so much of myself in her that it’s scary. Her hair is red, something passed down from my mother’s family, and her eyes are green like mine.
Jackson slows down to let her climb onto his back. I’ve lost track of whose ‘it’ in this game of tag, but it doesn’t seem like any of them have. It takes a moment for me to realize they’re all trying to outrun Parker, who’s the size of all four of them combined and definitely won’t let them win unless I impose a mercy rule.
Watching the five of them together playing happily makes me think about how far we’ve come. How far I’ve come from who I was years ago. Penelope’s demanding offer to be her brother’s nanny ended up bringing me a lifetime of happiness, and I’ll never be able to repay her for her stubbornness.
After Evie gets Christopher up on her shoulders, she and Jackson instigate a game of chicken between their younger siblings. Parker looks at a loss before he just decides to referee the new game.
I have a family now—a very large and growing one—and I couldn’t be happier. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do—taking care of children, even better that they’re mine, and teaching them every day. Parker’s had to take on some extra work to accommodate our increased budget, but it’s good for him. Our routine is solid.