Leveling the Field (Gamers)

by Megan Erickson

  He did receive some condolences, and a smattering of hate here and there that he filtered out pretty well. No one could say anything worse than he’d said to himself in the past.

  He kept the photos Lissa had taken of him in his desk. He looked at them, not because he wanted to see himself, but because it was the last thread of connection he had to her.

  She’d posted on her site’s blog recently, that she’d been surprised at the response and was so grateful that they’d have a large fund for the scholarships. He figured he was a small part of that. He hadn’t heard from her, but that was okay. He hadn’t boosted the signal for her project just to get her to come back to him. He’d done it because he had felt as though that was the right thing, and also because he believed in what she was doing.

  Maybe one day he could tell that to her face. He’d considered stopping by her studio so many times, but he suspected that, despite what he’d said on camera, he wouldn’t be welcome.

  Their secretary, Sue, knocked on his open office door. He gestured for her to come in, and she dropped the mail on his desk then left with a small wave.

  He flipped through it, settling on an envelope that was addressed to him, with no return address.

  The handwriting looked familiar, but he couldn’t place it. With a frown, he slid his finger under the seal and opened the envelope.

  There was a small sound, like the release of air, and for a moment, he saw nothing but…sparkles—a rainbow of colors as the light of his window reflected off of whatever was now surrounding him in a silent rainfall.

  He blinked, blinked again, and gazed around at the complete and utter explosion that now covered his office in a tsunami of glitter.

  Glitter.

  Fucking everywhere.

  He still held the envelope in his hands, and as he bent his head, glitter slid off his hair and onto the desk in front of him. With every small muscle twitch, more glitter fell from his body. He peered into the envelope, where a small note was tucked inside, along with some sort of plastic mechanism that had released the glitter into the air like a rocket.

  He pulled out the note. All it said was: <3 Lissa.

  He laughed. There was no other reaction, nothing to do but curl his body forward, sending more glitter fluttering to the floor, and laugh until tears fell down his glitter-covered face.

  Lissa. He would have expected nothing less from her. Because this reminded him of their make-up session in her studio, of the glitter he’d found on his body days later.

  As he wiped his face and stared at the craft carnage around him, he knew Lissa was just like glitter—in all his nooks and crannies and he’d never be rid of her. And he didn’t really want to be rid of her.

  “Holy shit.” Ethan looked up to see Grant standing in the doorway of his office, eyes wide. His gaze swept over Ethan’s floor and desk before resting on Ethan’s face. “What the hell?”

  Another laugh bubbled out of Ethan. “Lissa.”

  Grant blinked. “Lissa?”

  He held up the envelope. “She sent me”—he spread his arms out—“this.”

  Grant’s lips quirked up. “She glitter-bombed you?” Ethan nodded and Grant began to laugh as he nudged aside a clump of glitter with his shoe. “Wow, dude, that’s…that’s love.”

  Ethan brushed off his shoulders. “I’m not too sure about that. Could be hate.”

  Grant shoved his hands into his pockets and moved his foot to walk forward but then thought better of it. “Good point. So she either loves you or she hates you. You sure don’t glitter-bomb anyone you feel ambivalent about.” Then he took out his phone and snapped a shot. “I should send this to Chloe.”

  Ethan stood, sending the glitter that had been on his lap to the fall. “Well, it’s not going to be a mystery much longer, because I’m definitely going to speak to her now. Even if it’s to listen to her cuss me out. I can’t let something as serious as a glitter-bomb go unanswered.”

  Grant nodded gravely. “Good luck out there, man. All’s fair in love and glitter-bombing.”

  Ethan shook out his hair and glitter-dandruff dusted the floor. “Jesus, this is crazy. I can’t leave all this for the cleaning crew.”

  Grant waved him off. “I’m sure I can rustle up a vacuum. I’ll take care of this for you.”

  Ethan lifted an eyebrow. “You mean you’re going to ask Marley to do it.”

  Grant pushed out his lips. “Uh, probably.”

  Ethan waved him on. “Whatever, I have to go see the person responsible for this.”

  As he made to walk past Grant, his friend placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey.”

  Ethan stopped. “Hey what?”

  Grant smiled softly. “Don’t fuck it up this time.”

  Ethan shoved off his hand with a grin. “I’m going to do my best.”

  “Good luck.”

  “I need it.”

  First, he needed to shower. But then…

  Then it was his turn.

  …

  The knock on the door of Lissa’s apartment startled her as she licked the brownie batter from her spoon.

  She rolled her eyes, figuring it was her brother who forgot his car keys or something that he needed for work, as he’d just left for his shift.

  “Coming!” she called as she padded toward the front door. She unlocked it and then opened it without even looking at who was there. “What’d you forget?” she asked as she headed back to the kitchen.

  Silence greeted her question, and she slowed her steps, thinking belatedly that she hadn’t confirmed the person knocking was, in fact, her brother. As she began to turn, a deep voice said, “I believe I forgot to apologize.”

  His words sent a flame of heat roaring through her body. She spun around to see Ethan standing in her open doorway, hands in the pockets of his jeans, the sleeves of his Henley rolled up to his elbows.

  They stared at each other for a moment, and she searched her brain for something to say—it didn’t even have to be witty, just something coherent to say to the man she hadn’t thought she’d see again.

  But damn, it was a weekend, one of the few she had off, and she couldn’t think straight.

  Ethan lifted his eyebrows. “May I come in?”

  She swallowed. “Door’s open.”

  His lips twitched, and then he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He glanced around her apartment then let his gaze travel down her body. She was barefoot, wearing a pair of black leggings and an off-shoulder crop top. She had no makeup on, but at least her hair looked good.

  “Hi, Lissa,” Ethan said, not taking his eyes off her.

  He’d probably gotten her little present in the mail yesterday or the day before. Frankly, she’d expected him to call. She had not expected him to show up at her door. “Hi, Ethan.” A thought struck her. “How’d you know where I live?”

  He strolled forward, picking up a picture frame on a nearby table and glancing at it before putting it back. “It’s pretty easy to find someone’s address nowadays.”

  Oh. “That’s a little creepy.”

  He stopped and cocked his head. “It’s creepy I’m here?”

  She shrugged. “Not really. Not any more creepy than covering your office with glitter.”

  He laughed at that and continued forward until he stood a couple of feet away. He reached out a hand, and she flinched as his thumb brushed her cheek. He held up his hand, and she laughed. “Oh, uh, that’s brownie batter. I like to lick the spoon.”

  He stuck his thumb in his mouth and took his sweet time licking off the batter. Her knees went a little weak until she remembered the last time they’d been in the same room together.

  She straightened her spine and took a step back. “So why are you here?”

  He must have sensed the change in her, because he dropped the act, and tension crept into his expression. “I have some things I want to say to you.”

  She turned and walked into her kitchen, Ethan following her, and proceeded to fill the pa
n with brownie batter. He didn’t talk for a moment, and she glanced over her shoulder to see him standing awkwardly by the refrigerator. “So? Talk.”

  A muscle in his jaw ticked, and the sign of his irritation pleased her. He blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know I don’t deserve it, after the things I said, but would you please turn around and look at me.”

  She placed the pan of brownies in the oven, set the timer, and then turned around, leaning back on the counter. She brushed her hair out of her face and gazed at him steadily.

  He inclined his head. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He hesitated a moment then said, “I’m sorry.”

  Those two words hung in the air between them, and Lissa waited to see if they came with a caveat, a but, anything really. But there were no strings attached to those words, and she knew that based on the way Ethan was looking at her with a resolved expression. Those words were hers now.

  She stared at a point over Ethan’s shoulder. “I was in the office at Gamers, staring out a window, when a black SUV pulled into the parking lot. A man got out of the car and I…couldn’t look away from him. It was the way he held himself, the way he walked, the way he looked. Everything about him intrigued me. I was attracted to him before I knew who he was.” She met Ethan’s ice-blue eyes. “And then I found out who he was, that he was the man I’d been hoping to meet, to ask him to be a part of my project. I told myself not to get involved with him, because I didn’t want to be accused of whoring myself out.” Ethan winced and opened his mouth, but she kept talking. “But I was still attracted to him, and when he pursued me, I couldn’t turn him down. I kept thinking it was okay. It was just casual. Until it stopped being just casual. Because it did stop, right? It became more.”

  Ethan swallowed. And nodded.

  She gripped the edge of the countertop as her stomach rolled. “So I knew then I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask him, not after everything he’d confided in me. But I still wanted to do something for him. I-I’m sorry, too.”

  Ethan jolted forward. “No, Lis—”

  She shook her head. “I don’t regret taking those pictures of you. I regret you finding out the way you did.” She paused to see if he’d protest, but he stayed silent so she could continue. “I wanted to do something for you. A surprise. For you to see you how I see you. I wanted to help. And it backfired. And I’m sorry for the part I played in that.”

  Ethan’s fingers twitched where they rested against his thighs. “Can I—can I come to you?”

  The hesitation and vulnerability in his voice pierced her. “Of course,” she whispered.

  In two long strides, he was in her space, his one hand resting on her hip while the other cupped her neck. “I owe you the apology. The things I said…I can’t think about them without cringing, without regretting it all. I looked at your project and it affected me. I felt what those people felt, and I read their stories and internalized it all. It was good work, amazing work, and I know it’s making an impact in people’s lives.”

  She hadn’t realized how much she wanted to hear that from him until he’d said it. “Ethan—”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, because I fucked up the only thing that’s made me happy in years. And worse than that, I hurt you. And that’s something I would do anything to atone for.”

  She pressed her lips together. “This apology is doing wonders.”

  A flicker of hope came into his eyes. “Yeah?”

  She nodded. “And maybe some pics of your office. Covered in glitter.”

  He smiled. “Grant has one on his phone.”

  “He’ll have to send it to me.” She ducked her head and pulled out of his grip, because while the apology was great, it was hard to feel his touch knowing it wouldn’t lead further. She busied herself cleaning up, her back to him. “Thanks for coming by. You could have called.”

  He didn’t answer, and she scrubbed at a spot on the counter that she knew was a permanent stain, but it was the only thing she could focus on, knowing he was still there in her apartment.

  “Lissa,” he said softly.

  She wiped harder.

  A hand settled on her elbow, stilling her. “Lissa. Please turn around.”

  She tossed the wipe with a huff and turned slowly, refusing to look up, and stared straight ahead at the base of his neck.

  That is, until he placed a hand on her chin and forced her meet his gaze.

  After a moment, he spoke. “I didn’t come here just to apologize. I came here to ask you if you’d give me another shot. Give us another shot.”

  So that was what she’d wanted to hear. Because with his eyes on her, those words settling down into her bones and heating her blood, she knew for certain that, despite everything, she wanted exactly that.

  As she’d been falling for the way he touched her body, she’d also been falling for him—for the rare moments of vulnerability he showed, the way he laughed when they were together, the way conversation with him was easy.

  He soothed over the pain she’d felt for so long after the death of her sister, and she thought maybe she did the same thing for him, too.

  His eyes were still searching hers, clearly waiting for an answer. She bit her lip. “Should I leave you hanging?”

  He chuckled softly. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

  She gripped his face, the stubble of his beard rubbing her palms. “Will you promise to make that sound a lot?”

  “What sound?”

  “Laughter.” His face grew tender at her words. “I like to hear you laugh.”

  He leaned into her touch. “I missed laughing. Around you, it’s easy to do it again.”

  She nudged his nose with hers. “And I missed your grumpy face.”

  Ethan hesitated then leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I missed that, too.”

  She pursed her lips. “Oh yeah? What else?”

  With a quick motion, he scooped her up and placed her on the counter, then stepped between her legs. He slid her shirt further down her arm, along with the strap of her tank top. He watched her face, as if he was waiting to see if she’d stop him, but no way. No way. Not when she felt the hard ridge of his arousal between her legs, not while her body was heating up just from his simple touch.

  He pressed a kiss to her shoulder then ran his tongue along her collarbone to the rounded top of her breast. “I missed this skin right here.”

  She gripped his hair and shifted closer, making it clear she wanted more. He smiled up at her then lifted her shirt and tank top over her head, leaving her topless. Her nipples peaked in the cool air, but Ethan didn’t leave her hanging for long. He dipped his head and took a stiff bud into his mouth, sucking and rolling it between his teeth.

  She groaned. “Oh shit, I missed this, too. So much.”

  He pulled back and cupped her breasts. “We never had a problem when we were doing this.”

  She shook her head and bit her lip as he leaned in to press a line of kisses down her neck. “Okay, you need to take me to my room now, because I’m feeling the urge to get a lot more naked.”

  He chuckled against her skin then lifted her off the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist and directed him to her bedroom. They only bumped into a couple of walls on the way.

  As he walked through her doorway, she sucked his earlobe and his breath hitched. He tossed her onto the bed and pointed at her sternly. “Get naked.”

  She lifted herself up onto her elbows and watched as he proceeded to drop his clothes in seconds. With a stretch, she took a condom from her bedside drawer.

  It’d been a while, and they were both hot and aching for it, so Ethan didn’t waste time as he rolled the condom down his length and then settled himself between her legs. His jaw was tight as he gazed down at her, bracing himself on his forearms. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

  She gripped his ass and tugged. “No need to talk or apologize, just fuck me already.”

&nb
sp; He laughed and mumbled against her lips. “Fuck, I really, really missed you.” And then he thrust into her.

  The force of it slammed her eyes shut, and she moaned as he filled her. He panted above her as he began to fuck, and she got a tight grip on his ass, digging her nails into his flesh. His grunt told her he liked it.

  She opened her eyes to see him gazing down her body at their connection. He lifted his head, a lock of hair falling into his eyes, and smiled.

  She smiled back, thrusting her hips to meet his. A gasp left his lips, and for moments, they moved in sync, like they were made to do this together. Tension began to creep into Ethan’s body and she knew he was close, just as she was. In this position, he hit all her spots, and with another couple of thrusts, she was coming, with Ethan soon following.

  For long moments they lay entwined, not speaking, just breathing.

  Finally, Ethan kissed her forehead and pulled away to go to the bathroom. He didn’t know where the bathroom was, so he stumbled around until Lissa took pity on him.

  When he came back into the bedroom, he climbed into bed, wrapping an arm around her stomach. “The timer beeped. I took out your brownies to cool.”

  She smiled as she ran her nails up and down his arm. “My hero.” After a pause, she asked, “So how big is this shot?”

  He frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Are we all in? Or—”

  He rolled onto his back with a yawn and scratched his chest absentmindedly. “We’re spend-nights-together, meet-the-family kind of all in.”

  “Meet the family?” she squeaked.

  He glanced at the clock. “We got a couple of hours.”

  “A couple of hours?” She surged up with a hand planted on the bed. “What’re you talking about?”

  He seemed unaffected by her alarm. “We have dinner with my parents soon.”

  She worked on her breathing. “I’m sorry, what?”

  Finally, an emotion flickered over his features. Unease. “I, uh, reached out to my parents. This will be the first time I’ll have seen them in years.” He met her gaze. “I’d like you there with me, please. By my side.”

  Oh God, how could she say no to that? Even though she wanted to vomit at the thought of meeting his parents already, he wanted her support. “Had you planned on asking me that before you showed up here?”