Love and Chaos

by K. F. Breene

  “I’m not a very calm drunk,” she said in a worried voice.

  Peter glanced over at her as they neared the limo. “Does my family seem like the calm and self-respecting type?”

  “No we do not, sir.” Demetri ducked into the limo ahead of them. “No self-respect whatsoever.”

  Cassie wasn’t so sure. She lost all boundaries when she got into the party mood. All boundaries.

  Chapter 13

  Peter stood at the counter next to Rachel and Jenn at the next winery they visited. It was a large tasting room, with three counters forming an open square, enclosing the pourers in the middle. A larger business that attracted more tourists than the smaller establishments, this winery had tasters lining the counters on all three sides, the four pourers hustling and chatting, selling their product as best they could while trying not to appear hurried.

  Peter and the gang had all started on the north counter where there was just enough space for them to spread out. Soon, though, as the crowd moved and shifted, it got harder to have a home on one’s own counter space. Add to that encroaching drunkenness, and their pack of tasters divided into smaller groups.

  Peter had started next to Cassie, but after the tasting, she’d gone to the restroom, and then stepped outside to make some notes for her column. Nick and Demetri wanted to look at some paintings and other merchandise the winery sold, so stepped away to do that while the wives organized wine purchases. Jace leaned against the counter at the end, having already bought his wine and now staring out through the open doorway, seemingly unfocused.

  “Are you getting anything?” Jenn asked, drawing Peter’s attention. Rachel stood to her other side.

  Light and carefree, he waved his hand through the air. “My roommate would kill me if I brought home any more wine. We don’t have enough room for what we have.”

  “Where’s Cassie?” Rachel asked, handing over a credit card to a smiling winery worker.

  Both women turned to regard him. “Outside. She had to do something for her work. She’ll be back in in a minute to buy.”

  They both nodded. Only Jenn glanced down the counter to Jace, now leaning heavily on his elbows, head bowed, looking more than a little uncomfortable. Peter’s heart sank, as it had been doing constantly these last couple days.

  Jace and Cassie’s mutual attraction and infallible chemistry was obvious. Jace, brooding and dominant, wanting to look after everyone and protect his crew, jived perfectly with Cassie, feisty and fun, happy to be looked after as long as she could go crazy within the boundaries. It worked perfectly.

  Peter should’ve brought Kate. Kate would’ve hated someone following her around to make sure she didn’t come to harm. Or even Jasmine. Jasmine would’ve badgered him until he wandered away.

  Peter drummed the counter, guilt eating away at him. Jace needed someone. He wanted to start a life, get married, and have a few kids. Cassie wanted to find that perfect love. She wanted to feel needed and wanted, protected and loved.

  They might not work. They certainly weren’t perfect—each of them had a lot of baggage and issues.

  But what if they were perfect together?

  He’d always believed that everything happened for a reason. Half of him hated that fact right now.

  “What’s wrong?” Jenn asked quietly.

  Peter jumped, not having noticed she’d slid closer. Rachel had wandered over toward the two middle brothers. He looked at his hands on the counter. “Did you ever face a decision that could make other people extremely happy, while damning yourself?”

  Jenn leaned next to him, her shoulder touching his. “Not exactly, but I’ve faced some really tough choices. Sometimes I chose the easy way out. The way that protected myself. I’ve regretted some of those.”

  Peter picked at his thumbnail.

  “Can I help?” she asked in a soft voice.

  His stomach turned over in knots. “My father isn’t the most forgiving of people. He has a certain mold. I don’t fit into it.”

  Jenn clasped her hands in front of her. “That’s true. But he also shuts up when he’s outnumbered. He’s a strategy man. When he senses a mutiny, he’ll quiet down.”

  Peter sighed and straightened up, wiping his eyes. He really didn’t want to lose his family. He didn’t want to lose these people that he loved with all his heart. But it wasn’t fair to be selfish, either. It wasn’t fair to hurt Marcus, and Jace, and Cassie. Not when they’d all done so much for him.

  “I don’t know.”

  Jenn straightened up, too. Unexpectedly, she reached forward and gave him a tight hug. “You have so many people that love you, Peter. Love you. Have the courage to love yourself.”

  His gaze connected with hers. He saw the love she spoke of, but most importantly, the support. She might not be technically related, but she was just as much family as his brother Nick. And she would stick by him. That meant Nick probably would, too.

  Peter wiped a tear. He hoped to God she was right. He hoped his father would be the only one adamantly against Peter being gay.

  He also knew, without a doubt, that Jenn knew. And probably Rachel. Even now, Rachel was ordering the boys around, keeping them where they were, probably so Jenn could have this chat.

  His sigh cleared away the squishy feeling in his chest. It was time to “man up”, as his father would say, and do the right thing.

  “Okay.” He gave Jenn a nod and moved down the counter to Jace, currently with his back against the counter, waiting impatiently. The amount of women staring at him, or stealing glances, or full-on drooling, was kind of startling. But then, something about Jace, besides his good looks and well-built body, always drew the ladies. He had a certain je ne sais quoi about him that teased the opposite sex.

  Peter wished he had that quality. Although, obviously not for the opposite sex. That’d just be irritating.

  Jace glanced over when Peter moved closer, and then turned toward him. “Aren’t you going to go check on Cassie? She gets distracted and then loses track of time. Plus, she keeps making…friends with random…men.”

  A sharp edge stared out at Peter from his brother’s eyes. Rolling muscles flexed and relaxed, his brother not even remotely in control. God forbid anybody actually picked on Cassie. That wouldn’t be pretty.

  “Look, Jace, I’m starting to get drunk. You can hold your liquor a lot better than me. Can you keep an eye on her? When she gets drunk she…well, you’ll see. She can get shocking.”

  A shadow passed over Jace’s face. Accusation crept into the gaze. “You want me to look after your girlfriend?”

  Peter met the stare and tried not to shake.

  “Something isn’t right here, Peter,” Jace said in a low tone. “Something is off with this. Are you using her? Are you dragging her around to hit some strange agenda?”

  “Jace, seriously, will you help or not? The two of us together cause more havoc than two teenagers after having broken into a liquor cabinet.”

  Lie. Just one of them caused that much havoc, and that one was way too much for Peter to keep up with. Although, he had to admit, drunk Cassie could be hilarious.

  Peter watched as Jace’s need to go to her overrode his desire to shake the truth out of Peter. He had no idea it would be that close of a call. Peter wasn’t ready to dish out truths just now. That would come soon enough.

  “Fine. But I will get answers as to why this is so fucked up.” With one last menacing stare that lasted a few moments too long, Jace turned and strode out the door.

  Peter turned toward the counter and flagged down an employee. “I think I will buy a bottle of wine. One that can be opened right away, please.”

  Chapter 14

  “Do you want a glass?”

  Cassie blurrily stared at the face of her phone, realizing that if she didn’t stop jiggling her hand, she’d never get a good picture. At the deep words, she glanced up and found two guys sitting at a picnic table ten feet away with an open bottle of wine and a picnic. They seemed to be
observing her.

  She looked around to make sure.

  The sunny gardens surrounding the large winery were set up for afternoon eating and wandering, the bottles of wine purchased inside a lovely addition to a beautiful place. More than one group made use of the tables, taking a break from wine tasting to enjoy wine drinking.

  “Me?” She pointed at herself, just in case they were confused as to which me she meant—her, or the other scary girl who danced on tables and cackled at barely funny jokes.

  “Yeah. You want a glass?” A guy in his mid-twenties with shaggy brown hair held up a plastic cup and motioned her closer. “Join us.”

  She sauntered closer. They each had a deli sandwich, a bag of chips, and a glass of wine. Their food was forgotten for the moment, however. Her breasts were holding their attention.

  She reached the table and captured a potato chip. “Don’t mind if I do.”

  The guy on her right had a lopsided grin and buzz cut with plenty of gel to keep very little hair in place. Both guys wore preppy slacks and a button up shirt, nearly the same design and color. Their shoes were trendy and fresh, and their watches both had Fossil written on the face. Both had a cocky grins and a conceded twinkle in their eyes as they let their gazes roam her body.

  Not very subtle in your appreciation, guys.

  She snapped her fingers. “Oh, I get it—this is a douche convention and you need more members.”

  She gave them a dazzling smile. Making fun of a couple of preppies, while looking cute, confused them. The practice wasn’t an Olympic sport, but it was sure fun. And if she ever thought to feel bad, she’d just remind herself that they’d probably get promotions over her, and also that they were hitting on her.

  Guilt free.

  “You want a glass?” the guy tried again, probably unsure what was happening, but knowing drunk women always liked free alcohol.

  And damn it if he wasn’t right.

  “Well, okay, but this doesn’t mean we’re friends. It just means I’m using you for your delicious wine.”

  Both men chuckled. They still weren’t trying very hard to focus on her eyes.

  “You want some more chips?” the douche on the right asked.

  “You want to sit down?” the douche on the left tried.

  “Nah. I’m going to hover here. So, what wineries have you guys been to? Are you driving?”

  “We’ve been to a couple,” the douche on the left said. His gaze glanced at her crotch before he looked over at his friend with a smug smile.

  What was that about?

  “And are you doing a wine tour, or driving, or…” Cassie kept the smile, because when she kicked him in the face, she wanted it to be a surprise.

  “We’re driving.” The douche on the right leaned forward, trying to capture her attention.

  “Oh, super. Yeah, great idea.” She took a sip. “Drink a bunch of wine and drive around the town. Absolutely nothing could go wrong with that logic.”

  Both men chuckled again and nodded their heads. Cassie rolled her eyes and turned to leave. The looming shoulders coming around the corner of the winery caught her attention, mostly because she knew who they belonged to, and also because they were so hot.

  “Uh oh, here comes my knight in scowling armor.” She gave the pair of douches one last smile. “See you guys. Thanks for the wine. Hope some girl punches you in the balls.” She winked and moved toward the inevitable meet up.

  “What’d I do?” she asked thirty seconds later when they stopped in front of each other in the middle of the grass. “Also, isn’t today delicious?” Cassie smiled up at Jace’s handsome face.

  He took her in, noticed her wine, and glanced back at the guys behind her. A flash of anger washed over his face before he schooled his features. He took a noticeable breath before saying, “You have a boyfriend. Why were you talking to them?”

  “I was spreading my dazzling wit to those less fortunate. Also, they offered me wine. Which I took. And am now drinking.”

  “So you just…” Jace closed his eyes and took another noticeable breath. He shook his head and started over in a voice less like a nightmare. “Those guys are staring at your ass. They obviously called you over to try and pick you up. I can’t imagine that would go over well with Peter.”

  Cassie rubbed her fingers on her chin in a classic “thinking” pose. She should take this seriously, she really should, but what was she going to say? “Well, he’s not really my boyfriend. Why, you ask? I can’t tell you. So let’s just forget about this whole thing, shall we?”

  She stared him straight in those beautiful eyes, and said, “He trusts me. That should be enough for you. If you don’t believe me, tell him what you saw, and see what he says.”

  “Is that right?”

  “You want that punch in the mouth, or what?”

  A smile lit up Jace’s face. He shook his head and stepped back so she could pass in front of him. “You and punching people.”

  “You and jealousy.” She started a slow walk back to the front entrance of the winery, enjoying the companionship.

  After a few quiet steps, he said, “I didn’t used to be so bad. In fact, I’ve never been overly jealous. But when…the ex started lying, and started cheating…” He dug his hands in his pockets. “Insecurity is a tough thing. There’s no one like a loved one that can make you feel as on top of the world. Equally, no one can make you feel so low your belly scrapes the deck. She messed my head up.”

  Cassie searched his face as they walked. Stern and hard, his default mask. And maybe it was his default because he tried to hide the raging vulnerability inside of him. He tried to hide his insecurity and pain.

  She took a deep breath to clear the sudden constriction in her chest as she looped her arm around his. “This too shall pass.”

  “That’s where I’ve landed, is it? In the land of clichés?”

  “Why, yes, didn’t you know?” She bowed her head, remembering the countless breakups she’d been through. The many lonely nights. The current, now constant, wondering if she’d ever meet someone. “A breakup passes. You might have some residual baggage, but it does pass. My girlfriends and I use that line all the time.”

  “Why do you sound so…forlorn?” he asked quietly, slowing their walk even more as they neared the entrance.

  Emotion welled up. Cassie stepped away, looking up at the blue sky, letting the soft breeze tickle her face. Since she was in a ridiculous repose, trying to ward away the tears, she figured she might just down her wine. Why not? Pity was so much more fun with an explosion of ridiculous behavior, wasn’t it? Winning combo.

  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”

  Jace’s voice was so soft. So deep and understanding. She wanted him to step forward and wrap her in his arms. She wanted to cry on his shoulder, letting his strength and power keep her safe while life raged around her.

  Alas. He was the brother of her gay boyfriend. Impossible.

  She wiped a stray tear that broke free and flashed him a smile. “I’m good. This too shall pass.”

  His gaze searched hers. “When someone bounces back that fast, it usually means they just stuffed everything down deep so they can try and forget about it. But it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s still there. Trust me, I know from experience.”

  Without thinking, just needing a little action, she stepped forward and playfully punched him in the gut. Her fist bounced off hard muscle. It wasn’t the mouth, but it still relieved a little stress.

  “Oh…” Jace grunted, still connecting with her eyes on an extremely deep level, and unconsciously wiped the imprint of her fist away with his hand.

  “Oh my god.” She pointed at the spot she punched. “Sean does that all the time! He gets so wrapped up in something that he just brushes away my awesome and extremely powerful punch.”

  Jace’s eyebrows formed a shelf over his eyes. He glanced down at his stomach and back at her. He shook his head in confusion. “You’re cycling through personalities too
quickly for me to keep up. What? Where are we?”

  She started toward the winery, refusing to let that comment affect her. “You have jealousy issues, I have emotional A.D.D. We’ll be alone forever—I think I’ll start a cat collection, what about you?”

  “But you have Peter…”

  Oops. “Yeah. And he’s terrified of me. So there you go.”

  “Right. In other words, let’s not talk about deep stuff.”

  “Exactly.”

  They entered the winery and sidled up to the nearest open counter space. Peter and Jenn were at another counter, chatting. The other boys and Rachel were nowhere in sight. Cassie half expected Jace to direct her toward Peter. And in all fairness, she really should go his way now just to keep up appearances. But he seemed utterly relaxed, talking with a smile and glittering eyes. He was opening up around Jenn, and wouldn’t like that he had to close back down if Jace came over.

  “Why are you staring?” she said, noticing Jace’s scrutiny out of the corner of her eye. The attention brought heat to her face and pleasure through her core.

  “You seem like the kind of girl that likes being shadowed. Or, at least, having your man at your beck and call. Yet you aren’t going over to him.”

  “Wow.” Cassie couldn’t help her eyebrows shooting up her forehead, discomfort working into her already tumultuous emotions. “Is that how I seem to you? Needy?”

  “Whoa.” He leaned back from the counter and put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, no. Nope. Not what I meant. Please don’t punch me.”

  “Hi, can I help you with something?” A man in his forties wearing a shirt with the winery logo smiled at them.

  “Yes, I’d like to buy a case.”

  Chapter 15

  Jace stood in silence as Cassie went about ordering wine, some of which she hadn’t even tasted. He couldn’t help but realize he’d hit off a nerve with his comment. She went about her business with a cool efficiency, but she was distracted. He could tell by the way she jammed her hair behind her ear. She was, quite possibly, the easiest woman to read he’d ever known. And he’d hurt her.