by Syd Parker
“That’s horrible.” Sawyer realized she still had Bellamy’s hands in hers, and she squeezed them reassuringly. “At least, he left before he hit you. I’m sure it was very hard trying to explain that to Kevin.”
“Explain what to me?” Kevin sauntered into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist. He peered around his mom’s head, eyeballing the counter for something to eat. Spying the chicken, he grabbed a leg and took a healthy bite.
Bellamy swatted his bottom with a towel, and cut her eyes toward Sawyer. “Honey, we have a guest.”
“Aw, Mom. It’s just Coach. She’s used to us guys.”
“Be that as it may, try to be a little respectful. Get dressed so we can sit down and eat a proper supper. You will have the coach thinking we are a bunch of hooligans.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Kevin kissed his mom on the cheek and retreated from the room with a sheepish smile.
Bellamy put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “He’s all boy. That’s for sure. Sometimes, he doesn’t have a lick of sense.”
“He’s right. I’ve seen it a thousand times.” And a thousand times, it’s made me gag, Sawyer thought. She could stare at a woman’s body to no end, but couldn’t figure out what it was about a man that women found attractive. Of course, the fact that she was a lesbian probably had something to do with that. She held Bellamy’s gaze for several beats, trying to figure out what secrets hid behind her eyes. “Thank you for telling me about David.”
“I wanted you to know.” And she did. Bellamy felt as though the fragile connection that formed only minutes before would become part of her life. It seemed as though Sawyer had gotten inside her and started to weave herself into Bellamy’s soul. It occurred to Bellamy that she should worry. She didn’t normally lose her head or allow someone to move within her walls, but the doubt wasn’t there, as she had expected. What worried her was her attraction to Sawyer. The concern was there, nagging quietly so far, but sure to become increasingly louder. Thoughts flooded her mind, and she tried to push them back down before her face registered her feelings.
Sawyer stood and closed the gap between them. She took Bellamy’s hands in hers. “I know how hard it must be for you to open up. I hope you know that the gesture isn’t lost on me.”
Bellamy blinked rapidly. She shivered at Sawyer’s touch. No woman had ever looked at her or touched her the way that Sawyer did. For a brief moment, Bellamy felt as if she were the only woman alive. She felt her blood surge in her veins as the first tendrils of realization dawned on her. Sawyer awoke something in Bellamy that she’d tried to forget even existed. She’d spent years lying to herself. Bellamy couldn’t tear her eyes from Sawyer’s face. She was arrested by the look in Sawyer’s eyes. Hunger. Bellamy could give it no other name, and she was fueled by it. She fought to breathe, exhaling the breath she’d held since Sawyer touched her. She finally found her voice. “I get the feeling nothing is lost on you.”
Sawyer smiled warmly. “Everything about you will be etched in my mind for eternity.” Sawyer caressed the top of Bellamy’s hand with her thumb before letting Bellamy’s hands drop to her side. She pulled away and sat down as Kevin walked back into the room, her eyes still on Bellamy. “You must be hungry. I’ve never seen anyone change that fast.”
Kevin dipped his head, slightly embarrassed. He couldn’t admit that he was in a hurry to get back to the coach. The entire time he’d been in the shower, he’d envisioned how he would react if Sawyer said she was there to recruit him. He wasn’t sure he would be able to keep his cool. The offers from the other schools were good ones. And sure, the Yankees had acted like they wanted him, but in his heart, Kevin hoped to have an offer from Sawyer. He hadn’t dreamed she would have any interest in him, but when he saw her at the field, his hopes soared. He just hoped his pitching today would convince her. “It is mom’s cooking. It gets me every time.”
“Is that so?” Sawyer winked at Bellamy. “I think it’s high time I find out just how good it is.” She hopped off the stool and rubbed her palms together. “Can I help with anything?”
“No, you’re our guest. Kevin, can you set the table?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Kevin went about gathering plates and utensils as Bellamy pulled the rest of the food from the refrigerator. It wasn’t long before the three of them were sitting at the table, dishing out heaping plates of cold fried chicken, potato salad, and pickled cucumbers and onions.
Sawyer waited respectfully to see if they had any pre-supper rituals. She wasn’t surprised when Bellamy took Kevin’s hand and eyed her expectantly. Sawyer took Bellamy’s other hand, reveling in its warmth. It was not a matter of whether Sawyer was a believer herself, it was a tangible part of the landscape of places where many people were passionate and open about their faith. If you lived in the South, you were most assuredly a Protestant, a Southern Baptist, a Methodist, a Presbyterian, or a reformed version of one of those. Sawyer almost expected them to profess to some belief.
Bellamy waited for them to bow their heads before she said a quick prayer. It felt odd to do it in front of Sawyer, but she hadn’t sensed any discomfort. Bellamy didn’t assume that Sawyer was religious; she took it for granted, since religion was as synonymous with the south as sweet tea. “I hope that was okay.”
Sawyer waved away Bellamy’s apology. “My mom tried with me. She always said I wouldn’t be such a terror if I would just listen to what the good Lord told me to do. I’ve never been good with rules.”
Bellamy arched an eyebrow warily. “I’ll have to remember that about you: doesn’t like to be told what to do. Alright, enough talking. Dig in.”
Sawyer took the first bite of her fried chicken and moaned appreciatively. “This reminds me of summers on the front porch. I won’t tell my mom that your cooking is better than hers.”
“I should hope not.” Bellamy feigned disbelief. “One thing I’ve learned is that you never tell your momma that another woman’s cooking is better than hers.”
“It wasn’t for lack of trying.” Sawyer smiled reminiscently. “Goodness knows, between trying to raise my brother and me, there wasn’t much time left over, but she gave it her all.”
“You have a brother? Is he good at ball too?” Kevin slowed his frantic eating pace long enough to inquire about Sawyer’s brother.
“He might have been.” Sawyer’s eyes darkened momentarily. “Scott was something else. He was daring and reckless. Scott might have loved baseball more than me. He got a full ride to LSU. He was the best catcher I’d seen. The summer of his sophomore year, Scott got broad-sided on his motorcycle. It shattered his pelvis, and it was over for him. He got addicted to painkillers after the surgery. Pretty soon, they weren’t enough, and Scott turned to heroin. He OD’d on his 23rd birthday. We never got a chance to see what he could have done.”
Bellamy slid her hand over Sawyer’s and squeezed it. “I’m so sorry.” She looked sideways at Kevin as if to say, ‘why did you ask that?’. His shrug was the only response she got.
“Yeah, Coach, I’m sorry.” Kevin’s face registered his dismay.
“It’s okay. Scott wouldn’t have wanted to live his life not playing ball. By the time he left us, he was just a shell of the brother I grew up with. I am sorry to be such a downer.” Sawyer paused. “Actually, I’m glad you asked me. Kevin, I am sure by now you know I’m interested in you. Part of what drew me to Delta in the first place was the atmosphere. I felt like family the moment I got there. You can ask any of the players, and they will tell you, I’m like a mom to them. It isn’t just about building your talents on the field - it's about helping you grow as a person. You would be a part of our family if you choose Delta, and that means sharing the good and the not so good about ourselves.”
Kevin nodded, digesting and interpreting what Sawyer just said. Delta State wanted him. His role model wanted him to play for her. He hoped that was the case when he saw her on the field earlier, but he didn't let his hopes get up. That was something he’d schoole
d himself to do after his dad left. Too many broken promises made to him as a little boy all those years ago jaded the young man he was now. “That’s okay, Coach. I’m glad you told me. I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to meet Scott.” Kevin paused, allowing for his words to settle in. “I’d be honored to be part of your family.”
Sawyer relaxed, visibly relieved at Kevin’s eagerness. “I’d like you and your mom to come out and see the school, meet with the team and the other coaches, spend a few days on campus and in the city, before you make any decisions. I, of course, think we are the best choice, but I want you to be sure.”
Kevin nodded excitedly. “Can we, Mom?”
Bellamy wiped her mouth and laid her napkin down before she spoke. She could see the desire in her son’s eyes. This was the first offer he actually seemed excited about. The others he had thought about methodically, using his head, much like he did with most things. But not baseball, and not Sawyer’s offer – those he measured with his heart. She felt somewhat excited at the thought of her son playing ball for Sawyer, and carefully tried to disentangle her own emotions from the equation. It seemed impossible to ignore the pull she felt when she looked into Sawyer’s eyes. Bellamy tried to wrap her head around it from an accounting standpoint, weighing the pros and cons and tagging them to a balance sheet like assets and liabilities. Instead of numbers, she saw a list of things she already liked about Sawyer. Her stomach jumped, and she closed her eyes as she tried to quell her excitement. “I think that’s a very good idea. When were you thinking?”
“I’d like you to come this weekend, if you can swing it.” Sawyer sensed something behind Bellamy’s statement. Apprehension, doubt, something she couldn’t put her finger on. She hoped that a long weekend in Cleveland would put her mind at ease. “The booster club is holding a fundraising event. It would be a great chance to meet the team and the people who are our biggest supporters.”
“That would be awesome.” Kevin rubbed his hands together. “Will Cody be there?”
Sawyer chuckled softly. “Yep…” Sophomore Cody Wilson was a right-handed pitcher, and obviously someone else Kevin looked up to. “…and I bet he will even give you a few pointers on your change-up.”
“Sweet. Can we go, Mom? Please?”
Bellamy looked at her son lovingly. At the moment, he seemed like a little boy again and not the serious young man he’d grown into. She hadn’t been able to say no then, and it seemed that she couldn’t say no now, despite the growing mound of financials on her desk. Running her own CPA firm had its advantages, but right now, the weekend she’d planned to use for catch-up was disappearing quickly and that put her at a disadvantage. She laughed and shook her head in defeat. "Of course we can, honey.”
“Cool.” Kevin’s once loquacious vocabulary had been reduced to single word responses in his excitement, and he took several breaths to calm himself down. “Can we stay on campus?”
“You certainly can.” Sawyer paused. “Well, you can. Sorry, Bellamy. I can get you a room near campus or…”
“Or?” Bellamy studied Sawyer’s expression, secretly hoping she would offer to put her up instead. She wondered where this sudden desire to spend time with the other woman was coming from. She tried to attribute it to the lack of female friends and the need for some type of connection. It unnerved her when a tiny voice spoke to the need to be in Sawyer’s presence for a more intimate reason. Every emotion today confused Bellamy. They made her normal, level-headed practical nerves tremble with scarcely concealed yearning. Sawyer discomposed her with barely a glance. It was something Bellamy wasn’t comfortable with, and even less inclined to address.
Sawyer watched the thoughts as they revealed themselves in Bellamy’s eyes. She saw the struggle that played out as Bellamy breathlessly anticipated her next words, without knowing why. Confusion mixed with desire, and Sawyer longed to rub her thumb along the lip that Bellamy bit nervously. “You can stay with me. I live close to campus, and I have plenty of room….if you don’t mind company.”
“You should, Mom. That way, we can get the whole campus experience. Remember when you had to stay so far away at Wake. This is way better.” Kevin’s eagerness spoke volumes to the way he felt. As far as he was concerned, unless he absolutely hated the campus and the team, he’d already made up his mind. Delta State was his choice. He hoped between himself and Coach Evans, they could manage to convince his mom.
Sawyer smothered a smile. Kevin’s exuberance was contagious. “Yes, Mom. Come on, you will really like being that close. And I don’t make a half-bad cup of coffee.”
Bellamy shook her head and smiled in defeat. Had she harbored any thought of refusing the gesture, it disappeared as quickly as it arose. “I’d love to stay at your house. I appreciate the offer.” She could feel energy thrumming through her body and struggled to keep it at bay. This was no time to start having those feelings again. She would deal with it, just like she had once before. She couldn’t worry about something she chose not to acknowledge, could she? “Do you think a long weekend will work? Will that be enough time?”
Sawyer smiled enigmatically. “Three days is plenty of time.”
Chapter Three
Sawyer eyed the list of books that lined the shelves of the floor-to-ceiling built-ins in the Carters’ living room. It was an eclectic mix of everything from the classics to civil rights to Accounting Principles 101 and everything in between. She stopped at a picture of a man with dark blond hair and the same piercing blue eyes Kevin had. She picked it up and looked closer, noting the identical cheekbones as well.
“That’s David.”
“Good-looking guy. Kevin takes after him, especially the eyes.” Sawyer set the frame back down and let her eyes settle on Bellamy. “I should probably get going. It’s late, and I have a long drive tomorrow.”
Bellamy’s face fell before she forced a smile. “Are you sure? I was just about to open a bottle of wine. I thought we could talk about the details of the trip.”
“Sure.” Sawyer hesitated, not certain if the offer was sincere, or if Bellamy felt forced to extend the hospitality. She glanced at her watch, realizing it was later than she thought. “I don’t want to put you out.”
“You’re not.” Bellamy spoke resolutely, anticipating Sawyer’s continued refusal. “I’m a late-night person anyway. Do you like Merlot?”
“I don’t know.” Sawyer followed Bellamy into the kitchen and watched her open the wine cooler. “I usually drink beer.”
“Would you prefer that? I have both.” Bellamy started for the fridge, but Sawyer laid a hand on her arm and stopped her. “It’s really okay…”
Sawyer narrowed the space between them, getting lost in Bellamy’s eyes. “Merlot is fine. Maybe it’s time to expand my palate.” She noted the rise in color in Bellamy’s throat and reveled in the intoxicating feeling that sexual longing made her feel. Seeing the desire mirrored in Bellamy’s eyes, whether she knew it or not, only served to stimulate her more.
“Yes.” Bellamy stepped back shyly, not sure if she’d said yes to the wine or to the kiss that Sawyer’s eyes promised. Either way, she welcomed the drop in temperature inside the cooler and the space to calm her breathing down. It seemed the hunger she’d tamed all those years ago was back and it made her reckless. Bellamy didn’t like reckless, but she was helpless to stop it. Her fingers shook nervously as she let them dance along the bottles of wine, buying herself some time outside of Sawyer’s force field. Bellamy knew exactly what bottle of wine she was planning on drinking tonight. She’d mentally added it to her to-do list days ago. Careful and meticulous, Bellamy left nothing to chance and made no rash decisions. Everything was planned, plotted, written down and accounted for, long before the choice was made. She fingered the label of a 2008 Paradigm Merlot, and her punctilious life suddenly seemed mundane. She started to pick up the bottle, unable to break convention, but a glance at Sawyer’s lop-sided grin made her put the bottle back and grab one without looking at the label. Bellamy h
urried from the room, side-stepping Sawyer to get to the utensil drawer. She pulled out a wine opener and started to tear the metal away from the top of the bottle. She finally glanced down and realized she’d grabbed a 2013 Littorai Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir. “I changed my mind. Pinot Noir okay?”
“Mmhm.” Sawyer leaned against the island; her eyes focused on Bellamy’s. “I’ll put myself in your good hands.”
Bellamy’s stomach jumped into her throat, and she swallowed nervously. She quickly imagined parts of Sawyer in her hands and dismissed the thought guiltily. For all she knew, Sawyer wasn’t a lesbian anyway. And what do you think you are, Bellamy? Get yourself together. The good hands Sawyer mentioned earlier tremored as she tried to twist the corkscrew into the cork. “I think you will like this, or at least be able to tolerate it. The tannins aren’t as brash as some wines.” Bellamy somehow managed to uncork the bottle and pour two glasses.
“Tannins?” Sawyer took her glass and sniffed the purple-red liquid tentatively.
Bellamy swirled the wine around her glass, noting the slight coating it left on the sides. “They are the element that makes wine taste dry and sometimes bitter; mostly in reds. They aren’t as pronounced in this one.” She watched Sawyer sip the liquid, waiting for her response. Bellamy chuckled at the pained wince on Sawyer’s face, reminiscent of a child tasting a lemon for the first time. “It will grow on you; I promise.”