Under the July Sun

by Barbara Jones

  Michael drew in his breath and sighed.

  ‘It depends which way ye look at it Louis. On the one hand ye could say ye were foolin’ her by not tellin’ her, and sure enough that would be deception. But on the other hand, if by not tellin’ her, ye were savin’ her feelings, ye know, sparin’ her the worry like – then that would be a kinder thing to do, would it not?’

  ‘Put like that Michael, it certainly sounds kinder not to tell her. I wouldn’t want her to be distressed and maybe she need not know.’

  Then it occurred to him that Michael had not explained why he was there at all, so he asked him. Michael shifted on the chair a little and looked embarrassed, then began to tell his tale of woe to Louis.

  ‘I was out on the town last night and unfortunately I had a little too much to drink, so to speak. Anyway the long and the short of it is, my landlady has thrown me out and I’ve nowhere to go.’ He began picking dirt from beneath his fingernails.

  ‘Louis, I hope you won’t mind, but could I maybe bed down here for tonight and tomorrow I’ll look for somewhere to stay?’

  ‘Of course you can Michael, whatever are you thinking of looking for somewhere? You can have Ellie’s room now she has to sleep in at her job. And in any case, you’ll be doing me a favour, I could use the company.’

  ‘Ah ye’re a grand fella, Louis. I knew I could count on ye.’

  ‘Stay as long as you like, Michael. The only thing is, to be honest I can’t afford to feed you. The truth is I’m flat broke, apart from the money I have saved to go to your wedding and bring Cat and the children back here.’

  ‘Don’t ye worry about a thing Louis, all I ask is for a bed and I’ll be no trouble. Ye’ll hardly know I’m here.’

  ‘There’s no need to creep about Michael, make yourself completely at home. The problem is it isn’t much like home right now. I’ve rather let things go.’

  ‘’Tis not a problem, Louis. Here now, I’ll light us a fire and we can have a little natter about life.’

  ‘Sorry, Michael, there’s no coal. I’ve completely run out and don’t have enough money to buy any.’

  Michael looked surprised.

  ‘Don’t ye worry, I know where I can get some, unofficial, like.’

  Louis looked concerned. ‘I don’t want you stealing on my account, Michael.’

  ‘Well Louis, it depends on the way ye look at it. On the one hand ye have served this country well, away fightin’ an’ all that and what have ye to show for it? Not much at all. There’s plenty o’ rich people. Lazy rich people who have never shifted off their backsides in the whole of their lives, let alone fight for the King and country like ye’ve done.

  ‘So, I put it to ye Louis. Are ye not entitled to a bit of a helpin’ hand when some folks have more than their share and wouldn’t even notice a tiny little bucket of coal going to an ex-soldier? Believe me Louis, ye deserve better than the cards life’s dealt ye.’

  Louis thought for a moment. ‘But what on earth would Cat think, knowing we have stolen coal in the house?’

  ‘It depends which way ye look at it Louis. As I said before about yer little escapade with the pawnshop and the evenin’ suit. On the one hand ye could say ye were foolin’ her by not tellin’ her, and maybe ye would be foolin’ her. But on the other hand, by not tellin’ her ye could save her feelings, and that would be the kinder thing to do.

  ‘’Tis a question of perception at the end of the day. In most of life’s situations I always sit down and ask meself these questions: who will get hurt by knowin’ and how can I save their feelin’s?’

  Louis grinned. ‘You certainly have a way of telling it Michael.’

  ‘Well, that’s settled then. No more qualms. Let Michael Nagle melt yer worries away. Now, is there a drink in the house?’

  38

  Monroe, Fethard

  April 1921

  ‘Didn’t Ellie look wonderful yesterday, Louis?’ Cat said, ‘d’ya know, it doesn’t seem five minutes since we were married ourselves, does it?’

  Louis watched her as she bent over the table ironing Marie’s white smock, and felt a swell of emotion seeing her small frame moving rhythmically. He walked over and stood behind her as she ironed and placed his hands on her thin shoulders. He kissed the nape of her neck then wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. He noticed that she had not managed to put back on any flesh since he’d left Ireland a couple of months before, despite Maeve’s cooking. He thought she still looked pale and drawn.

  Cat put the iron on its stand. ‘That feels good Louis, I’ve missed ye.’

  ‘Cat, I’m worried about you.’

  ‘What on earth for?’

  ‘You still don’t look very well.’ He studied her face. ‘I think you should see a doctor when we get home.’

  ‘Ah ye worry too much. I’m just tired all the time, that’s all. Even after a good night’s sleep, I feel worn out the next day; ye’d think I hadn’t been to bed at all. I’ll be fine. Summer’s on its way. Don’t fret yerself.’

  ‘But I do worry. I don’t think you’ve recovered from having Eileen yet, and I’m concerned that once back home, without the help of your mother and sisters, you’ll find everything too much for you. Don’t forget Ellie’s not going to be around to help you.’

  ‘No. I haven’t forgotten. I wish she wasn’t goin’ to America. I think it’s a foolhardy thing to do. They don’t even know whether Michael will find any work, and they’ve nowhere to live. I know they’ll go to his sister’s initially, but they can’t stay there forever can they?’

  ‘No. But it’s their choice Cat, and they are set on going. What I’m really worried about is you getting your strength back. It’s a pity we can’t afford to have someone to come in and help you, but without me working regularly, it’s not possible at present.’

  ‘Louis?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘There may be a temporary solution.’

  ‘Oh and what’s that?’

  ‘Peggy and Breda have said that if we wanted to leave Marie here, they’d love to have her for a while. They said they wouldn’t want a penny to keep her and we can leave her as long as we like. Marie has taken to them both a lot, in fact most days I don’t see her at all.’

  Louis went over to sit by the fire and began turning the bellow’s wheel. The fire glowed and he threw on some peat. He took out a packet of cigarettes, lit one, and blew the smoke up the chimney.

  ‘I should give up smoking. It’s a silly expense when we can’t even afford to live.’

  Cat picked up the iron to finish smoothing out a smock before speaking again.

  ‘Well, Louis what do ye think of the idea?’

  ‘What me packing up smoking?’

  ‘No! About Marie stayin’ here for a bit?’

  ‘I’m not sure. Let me sleep on it. It’s a bit sudden isn’t it?’

  ‘Not really, they mentioned it to me weeks ago. I just haven’t been able to discuss it with ye not bein’ here and all.’

  ‘I’ll mull it over Cat. It would help for a while until you are strong again wouldn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. And there’s no-one I’d rather leave her with than me sisters.’

  ‘It would give your mother someone to concentrate on once Ellie leaves too, especially with us all going back to England. I suppose it would ease things for her if Marie stayed. It must be hard her daughters and grandchildren all leaving at about the same time.’

  ‘I wasn’t goin’ to say anythin’ but she may be havin’ another grandchild this year.’

  Louis drew on his cigarette, watching the smoke rise up the chimney. Then he looked across at Cat, suddenly curious.

  ‘Promise ye won’t say anythin’ until it’s announced?’

  ‘Well, of course. But who are we talking about?’

  ‘Mary! Mary and Daniel! She thinks she is expectin’ a baby.’

  ‘There you are then, more children for Maeve to dote on, and Ned too.’

  ‘So ye’ll think on i
t then, leavin’ Marie here?’

  ‘I will.’

  May 1921, Fethard Railway Station

  Cat leaned out of the railway carriage as the boat train prepared to leave. ‘Don’t forget now Ellie, write as soon as ye set sail next week. Let me know all about the journey, and just as soon as ye get there, send a telegram to say ye’re all right, won’t ye?’

  ‘Cat?’

  ‘Yes, darling’?’

  ‘I love ye dearly and don’t ye ever forget it.’

  ‘Ah, mo chuisle, don’t. Ye’ll have me cryin’ all over again. Oh dear. I wish ye weren’t goin’ so far. Will I ever see ye again?’

  ‘Don’t, Cat. Please don’t make it any harder. We’ve booked the crossin’ now and this time next week we’ll be on our way. It breaks my heart to go. But I promise if I hate it, I’ll be back knockin’ on yer door.’

  ‘Ellie, promise me. If America doesn’t work out, if at any time ye’re not happy, ye’ll write and let me know won’t ye? I mean, don’t let Mummy know, she’ll only worry, but I can take it. Promise?’

  ‘’Tis ye I went to when Jimmy died, and ’tis ye I’d turn to first again.’

  ‘Any time. Any place. My door and my heart are open to ye. And I pray for the day we meet again.’

  The two women hugged each other as tears poured down their cheeks. Ellie stepped back then to let Peggy, who was holding Marie, kiss Cat goodbye.

  ‘Say goodbye to Mummy,’ Peggy coaxed Marie, ‘and Cat, don’t ye worry at all about her. She’ll be grand, ye’ll see. Just get yerself fit and strong now and we’ll see ye in the summer.’

  Ned and Maeve bade a tearful farewell to Cat, Louis, Billy and Eileen. The whistle blew and the train slowly moved out of the station, picking up speed.

  39

  Eltham

  May 1921

  ‘Jesus, Louis, will ye look at the state of these sheets! Did ye never change the bed while I’m away?’

  ‘Well of course I did! But I was out every day looking for work, you know that, and besides I couldn’t get that old copper to work.’

  ‘That’s no excuse. How d’ye think I’ll get them from grey to white now?’

  ‘Oh come on Cat, it’s not the end of the world. I’ll change them now and tomorrow we’ll sort out what to do with them. It’s late, let’s get the children to bed, it’s been a long journey.’ Louis went to put his arm around her, but she pushed him away and began to cry.

  ‘’Tis all I need, comin’ home to the place lookin’ like this. Look at the sink, ’tis filthy! And look at the dirt on that tablecloth! Disgusting! What’s been goin’ on here, Louis? Did ye ever do any cleanin’ up at all?’

  ‘Cat, I did my best, but as I said, there didn’t ever seem any time left at the end of the day to turn round and start housework.’

  ‘Well how do ye think I manage then?’

  ‘You have all day to do it.’

  As soon as he had made the remark he regretted it, because the first thing he felt after saying it, was a loaf of bread Maeve had given them, hitting the side of his head.

  ‘Take that ye swine!’

  ‘Cat!’ Louis shouted. ‘What’s got into you?’

  Billy began to cry and Louis sat on a chair drawing the child onto his lap.

  ‘See what you’ve done now?’ Louis rocked him back and forth. ‘There, don’t cry, Mummy didn’t mean it.’

  ‘Mummy did mean it,’ Cat yelled, ‘and what’s more, Mummy will mean it tomorrow when ye get up off yer backside and wash those sheets.’

  Louis, bristling with annoyance, put Billy down, picked up the luggage and took it into the bedroom. He sat on the bed wondering what on earth Cat’s mood was all about. He and Michael had cleaned the place thoroughly before they’d left and though he hadn’t changed the beds for a couple of weeks, he hadn’t thought they looked that dirty.

  The following morning Louis lay awake listening to Cat move about cooking and then she called to him.

  ‘Breakfast is on the table, Louis.’

  ‘Righto. Thanks,’ he called and appeared in the doorway in his pyjamas. ‘I was going to get you some, but you’ve beaten me to it.’

  He smiled at her, but she looked away and went to pick up Eileen and feed her. At the sight of her breast, Louis felt the urge to rush over to her, push the baby aside and kiss her.

  Cat saw the look on his face and turned her back to him.

  Louis felt a dull thud in his stomach and didn’t know what was going on. Cat had never behaved like this before and he wasn’t sure what to say or do. He sat at the table and ate the bread Maeve had sent, albeit a little broken, and drank his tea. Not a word passed between them and all that could be heard in the room was the baby suckling at Cat’s breast.

  Billy appeared in the room and asked for his breakfast, so Louis passed him a plate with bread and poured him some tea.

  ‘Where’s Granny and Granddad, Daddy?’ Billy asked stuffing his mouth with bread.

  ‘In their own house in Ireland. You know that,’ Louis said ruffling his hair.

  ‘I want Granny.’

  ‘We’ll see her soon when we go for a holiday. Granny and Granddad live a long way away don’t they? We’ll get on the train and then the big boat in the summer.’

  Billy nodded, but wasn’t content.

  ‘I want Granny and Granddad to come to my house,’ he said looking at Cat. ‘Mummy, can you make them come here?’

  ‘No, Pet. They live over the water; and we are here with a man that cannot wash sheets!’

  ‘Oh Cat,’ Louis said throwing down his knife, ‘how can you stoop so low; dragging a child into the dispute?’

  He stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  ‘Come on now; let’s finish this here and now. What’s got into you? You’ve done nothing but snap my head off since we came home.’

  Cat began to weep and then the baby started crying too. Then Billy, sensing the atmosphere between his parents, began howling as well.

  ‘Oh hell, what a household!’ Louis shouted. ‘I’m getting ready to go and look for work now, but before I go I want to see order settle back here, do you understand?’ he demanded.

  ‘Oh yes sir. No sir. Three bags full sir,’ Cat spat out sarcastically, ‘remember Billy, we’re in the army now!’

  ‘Cat, I’m warning you. Don’t drag Billy into things. If there’s something wrong, tell me. Don’t use the child.’

  She didn’t answer him, but stood up and silently put the baby in her cot then began clearing the dishes.’

  Feeling exasperated, Louis went into the bedroom, dressed and left the house, thinking that perhaps she’d get it out of her system by the time he returned.

  * * *

  It was dark when Louis returned home and Cat had prepared boiled bacon and potatoes they had brought back with them from Ireland. She put the meal on the table and told Louis to sit and eat.

  Sitting down opposite him she began cutting up her meat, glancing from time to time at Louis. She saw his drawn expression and dark circles under his eyes and thought he looked exhausted. Suddenly she felt ashamed of her outburst that morning.

  ‘Is the meal all right Louis?’

  ‘Yes, it’s fine, thank you. The meat’s nice isn’t it?’

  ‘’Yes ’Tis.’ She continued cutting her meat then looked across the table at him. ‘Louis?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me this morning.’

  Louis put down his knife and fork and looked at her gently. He realised she was worn out and this is what he had been afraid of, but he felt helpless. They could not afford help and having three children in quick succession had been too much for Cat. He understood that but felt he couldn’t do much about it unless he was to earn a fortune and employ a nanny. Both things he knew were totally out of the question.

  ‘Cat, I know you are tired, but taking it out on me isn’t going to help.’

  ‘I know. It’s not just the
tiredness.’

  ‘Then what is it?’ he asked placing his hand on hers and giving it a squeeze.

  ‘I’m lonely.’

  He pushed the plate aside. ‘Cat, tell me about it.’

  ‘It’s just that I want to go home, Louis.’ She bent her head as tears slid down her cheeks.

  Louis withdrew his hand, lowered his eyes and feared the worst.

  ‘So that’s what the outburst was really about last night?’

  She didn’t answer.

  ‘Cat, I’m asking you, is that what was behind last night’s row?’

  ‘Louis, I don’t know what to say. I feel isolated here. I hardly know anyone an’ I’ve none of my family around me, and now Ellie’s gone—’

  She couldn’t finish. The lump in her throat silenced her and Louis just stared at the floor, lost for words.

  40

  Eltham

  June 1921

  Louis left the house daily in search of work, but the queues at the Labour Exchange were depressingly long. There were always hundreds of men after so few jobs. Those prepared to take the lowest pay succeeded in being given work.

  He was in the process of slipping out of the house one morning with his violin tucked under his arm when Cat questioned him about this. He brushed it off, saying he was hoping a job may come up that day playing in an orchestra.

  Cat thought no more of it and began the daily task of baking bread, washing, and cleaning the house.

  It was a beautiful June day and feeling full of energy she decided to tidy the outhouse at the back and re-arrange things as the mangle was in an awkward place. She began pulling out all the contents and laying them in the yard and before putting everything back, washed the floor over and then finally heaved the mangle to a new position.

  Glancing up at the ceiling in the outhouse, she saw a package wedged into the eaves so poked it with a broom until it fell to the floor.

  She picked it up and squeezed it. It felt soft. Cat went inside, found some scissors, cut the string and unfolded the paper. Inside was a neatly folded evening suit. She shook out the garments and inspected them, wondering who they belonged to. It could not have been any previous occupant of the house because they were the first to live there. It was a mystery how it came to be there and she decided to show Louis when he came home.