by Leah Holt
“Here, you might need this.” Cadence tossed me the shirt I had left with her. “Sorry, I didn't have time to grab your shoes.” She eyed my bare feet, now dirty and dusty from the path we just crossed.
Wriggling my toes, I chuckled. “Well, hopefully we don't hit any rough terrain.” Holding out an open palm, her delicate fingers wrapped around mine.
As we walked away into the shadows of the alley, I had a burning question that ached inside my chest. “Cadence?”
“Yeah?”
“Were you serious when you told your father you were pregnant?”
Biting her lower lip, she thumbed her mouth. “Yes.”
“So you're having our baby?”
Her eyes drifted over my face, a look of fear settling back into the lines on her forehead. Her lips crinkled at the corners, cheeks puffing up as she held in a breath of air. “I am, Quinn. I found out a few days ago, and I wanted to tell you earlier, but after what I learned about my dad and his sick fucking idea...” Shaking her head, a shutter ran through her body. “I'm sorry you had to hear it like that.”
But none of that mattered.
I was going to be a father, we were going to be a family.
And that was all I could think about. Not the when or how it came out.
I couldn't stop staring at her. Mascara ran under her eyes, dirt smeared her cheeks, long wisps of dust were draped in her hair.
And all I could think was how beautiful she still looked, how happy I was to be standing with her in this alley, barefoot and dirty.
Nothing mattered, she was here with me.
That was all I wanted.
And all I needed.
Chapter Sixteen
Cadence
Standing half off the sidewalk, I waited for the walk sign to glow bright. The wind blew through my hair, tousled strands whipping around in the breeze, blocking my view of the road.
Brushing them away, 'Walk' lit up white, and I scurried across the crosswalk, feet pounding the pavement like I was in a power walking marathon. The thumping of my sneakers sent vibrations through my thighs, chest heavy as my lungs tried to keep up with my stride.
I was supposed to meet Quinn in half an hour, our plan was to go grab lunch before his next class at the center. After all his hard work with the kids, the center finally offered him a paid position.
And with his knowledge, experience, and love of fighting, some of those kids had even gone on to rank top in the state.
He was happy, and that made me happy. He had something he was finally proud of, and he deserved every bit of it.
He stood holding his head high, walking with a sense of meaning. It was nice to see him wear a coat of pride.
Holding the base of my growing stomach, a sharp thud kicked against my palm. The baby had been in a non-stop fighting match of his own with all my organs lately.
Yup, definitely Quinn's son. There's no denying that.
Laughing to myself, I tried to squeeze nonchalantly through a thick group of tourists. But it didn't go over as smoothly as I'd hoped. “Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me,” I said, bumping into almost every person, and practically knocking down some little old lady.
Gripping the metal pull, I stepped into the building, a flurry of voices and grunts filled the hall. Slowly I tugged the door, not wanting to startle anyone inside. Stepping onto the platform, my hand freed the door from my grip.
Clank! The loud pop rang out across the walls, fifty sets of eyes all flicked up in my direction.
Smiling with my lips tight, my arm bent at the elbow, I waved uncomfortably. The pause in the room seemed to last forever. “Alright guys, focus!” an instructor finally yelled, clapping his hands to draw them back in.
Glancing through the faces, I spotted Quinn resting against the back wall, one arm fixed to his hip. Curling his free hand through his hair, his teeth bared brightly, eyes frozen on me.
I love the way he looks at me.
There was this connection, this feeling that would trapeze around my insides when he laid his eyes on me.
Pointing to my wrist like I was wearing a watch, I nodded my head towards the exit behind me. Peeling his shoulders from the wall, he raised a finger for me to hold on, and leaned down towards his students.
Quinn was a great teacher, and had the patience of a saint. Which I knew would come in handy when our little one finally arrived.
He's going to make a great father.
Resting on the railing, I watched him adjust the placement of one of the kids arms. His lips moved, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. The kid looked young, blue tape wrapped his small hands, the shorts he wore were a size too big, his hands repeatedly tugging on the trim to lift them up.
Watching Quinn in action, it turned my stomach into knots, there was so much care in his eyes for those kids. The faces of all his students sat fixed on his words, the small boy nodded and followed his directions. Quinn smiled down on him, shaking his head 'yes' and ruffling his hair.
My fist held my chin up as I stared at the man who had swept me off my feet, saved me from becoming the person I hated, and gave me a life to love. I could never thank him enough for showing me that life didn't have to be cut out for you by someone else; you needed to mold the life you wanted.
Meeting my gaze, he made his way around the small groups in class. His muscles flexed, the ink dancing rhythmically across his skin, taunting my desires.
That's mine, all mine. A surge of excitement heated my belly, tingles running up my spine, my heart fluttering wildly.
Now that feeling could have just been the baby again, but I chalked it up as a win for myself either way.
“Hey, ready for lunch, Babe?” he asked, jumping steps as he climbed the platform. Rolling his shirt over his head, he leaned in and kissed me. The delicate peck filled my brain with sparks.
“Yeah, I'm starving.” I ran my fingers over his forearm, twirling the seam of his shirt.
“Good, me too.” He pushed the door open, guiding me out by the small of my back. “There's a little Italian place around the corner that's pretty good.”
“I don't care where we go, as long as it has food.” Chuckling, I placed my hand on my stomach, the grumbling so loud I was sure he could hear it.
“And how is my little man today?” Dropping to my stomach, Quinn kissed the bulging bump protruding from my center.
“Ugh, he's driving me crazy. I swear the kid's already preparing to be a professional kick boxer, and my kidneys are his practice bags.”
Laughing, he kissed my stomach and spoke into my bellybutton. “Be nice to your mom, I don't want to have to ground you right when you arrive.”
For some reason, Quinn was convinced that my bellybutton was like a damn speaker to our baby. Every time he talked to our son, he used it like a freaking tin can attached to a string.
“Well if he's as cute as you are, then I might have a hard time punishing him at all.”
“You say that now, till the first time you come home to find him using one of your fancy undergarments as a parachute for one of his action figures.”
“Are you saying I have large underwear?” Cocking my head, I stopped short in the hall.
“What? Oh, no, no, that's not what I meant.” Quinn held his hands up in defense, jumbling his words. “I... No, that's not... I—”
Chuckling, I smacked his chest. “I'm only fucking with you, calm down.”
Shifting his eyes, Quinn laughed a very awkward and uncomfortable sound. “Ha, funny, screw with me now when you're seven months along.”
I couldn't help it. I knew that I had my moments; okay, several moments, where my hormones got the best of me. Last week I cried because Quinn made me a sandwich and he didn't put mustard on it.
Silly, I know. But at the time, it felt like my world had crashed around me. I really wanted mustard.
“I love you,” I said, coiling my fingers into his. “I'll try not to mess with you too much.”
“Thank you.” Runni
ng his thumb over my knuckles, he pushed the door open to outside.
The sun hit my eyes, my hand shooting up, trying to adjust to the brightness. Quinn's arm fell across my shoulders, tucking into his ribs, I snuggled up beside him as we walked.
“Have you heard from your dad?” he asked.
After the raid, my dad had been arrested, along with a number of other guys. And honestly, I couldn't say I was upset about it either.
The man needed help, he needed a fucking wake up call. And deep down I was hoping that after all of this, maybe, just maybe, one day I could still find some room in my heart to forgive him completely.
I'd been trying, taking little steps. I had forgiven him for some of what he did, and for now, that was enough.
I couldn't hold onto all that anger, it didn't serve a point.
And I knew deep down, my mother would want me to forgive him. That was the least I could do for now.
He was still my father, and that would never change. It was the only piece I still held onto, even if it was just gently pinched between my fingertips.
From what I had learned, the police had been watching the place for a while. It turned out that one of the Macro's top bidders was an undercover cop.
Funny how that works. He always thought money could buy them all.
They had a barrage of video, audio recordings; and after tearing through his office, a whole stack of papers to use against him.
Luckily for me, they hadn't found the small stash of cash my dad had hidden in our apartment. I don't know how, but his makeshift safe in the bathroom ceiling had gone unnoticed.
“No.” Rolling my eyes, I rubbed my forehead. “But he wrote me, and asked if I would consider visiting him at some point.”
“Are you going to?” His question was riddled with concern.
Wrinkling my nose, I shook my head side to side. “I don't think so. Maybe one day, but not for a really, really long time. Besides, I have years to think about that.”
“Yeah, you don't need to worry about that right now.” Holding the door, he said, “Here we are, love. Let's go eat.”
The restaurant was small and felt cozy the moment the savory scent of homemade pasta hit my face. A sign stood at the doorway, 'Please Seat Yourself.'
Finding a table tucked in the back corner, I slid into the seat across from Quinn. A grin was smeared across his face, his eyes twinkling with delight.
“What?” I asked, tilting my head a hair. Every time I saw that gaze fall over his face, I knew he was up to something. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing. You're just so beautiful.”
“Stop it.” I could feel my face blush, cheeks warming with those nerves he always pulled out. Even now, months later, he still made me bubble like a school girl. His sweet compliments sent goosebumps across my skin, my heart pounding so forcefully, I waited for it to shoot out of my chest.
The fact that I was carrying around all that extra weight, had purple lines road mapping my stomach, and knees that had somehow developed stretchmarks of their own... I couldn't help but feel special.
It was crazy to me that this man could still entice me with his eyes, and make me melt in his arms. Life couldn't have been more perfect.
Yes, I know, a lot of people would think we moved too quickly in our relationship.
But life can be here one second then gone the next.
Why waste a single breath on uncertainty if I could be happy now, here in this moment?
“What? You are.” Quinn winked in my direction, looking over my shoulder to the back, he nodded his head up.
“What are you doing?” My head whipped around, eyeing where his sight had gone.
A small old woman emerged from the back, carrying the largest bouquet of calla lilies I had ever seen. There had to be over three dozen, all stuffed into a crystal vase.
My eyes doubled in size as she placed the flowers between us. A soft crackle fell from the speakers on the ceiling, the roll of music filling the restaurant.
I couldn't see Quinn behind the wall of lilies. Wrapping my hand around the vase, I pulled them to my lap, frozen on the beautiful bouquet. The aroma filtered through the air, swelling my lungs, my heart racing over his gesture.
A deep cough yanked me from my daze, Quinn now eye height right in front of me. I hadn't heard him move, didn't see him stand. I was too engulfed with shock over his gift to realize he was resting on one knee.
“Quinn, these are beautiful. How did you know these were my favorite?” The stunned emotions could be read all over my body as I sniffled back the tears.
“You can thank Mia for me.” Lightly his fingers ran circles around my wrist, pulling my hand down so he could hold it. “Cadence, I have spent my entire life oblivious to what I should be living for. You showed me what it feels like to actually live, to feel the blood that pumps through my veins.”
My eyes started to well, tears filling the creases of my lids. “Quinn—”
“I need you, and I can't picture my life without you. I don't want to.” Pulling a small red box from his back pocket, he lifted out a ring. “Tell me you feel the same, tell me you'll be mine forever.” Holding the ring up, it glistened in the sunlight.
I tried to stop myself, stop the tears from streaming down my face, but I couldn't. They cascaded over my cheeks, a smile tugging up beneath the waterfall, hands trembling against the vase. “Yes. I do. I do, Quinn.”
Bringing his thumb to my skin, he brushed the tears away. Cupping my jaw, he wrapped his mouth tight on mine.
And I knew, knew he had been sent to me, sent to keep me safe, to free me.
Quinn had walked into my life, and now...
He was my life.
Forever.
Chapter Seventeen
Cadence
Have you ever felt like your life was surreal?
That everything you had known, and everything you were living in were so completely opposite of themselves that you actually pinched your arm to see if you were asleep?
That was me, that was now, that was everything I was feeling.
I had gone from living in a hell where my father was literally willing to use me, and now I had everything laid out in front of me like the damn yellow brick road.
And I was following that road, letting it lead me all the way.
Because I had already lost it all, there was nothing to run from. I was running straight up that beaten path, open armed, and wishing this dream would never end.
Stepping into the stairwell of Mia's apartment, I felt like the walls were trying to squeeze my sides and pop me.
This hall was not meant for pregnant women.
Quinn held the small of my back from behind, lending me a helping hand up the steep, twisting stairway. “This place is making me feel claustrophobic.”
“You're almost there, just a few more steps to go.” Gliding his fingertips softly up and down my spine, he crept up each foothold at my slow pace.
“I just don't understand why Mia insisted on lunch at her place. We usually meet out somewhere and get pampered, you know... Something fun.” Pausing, my foot hovered between two different stairs, letting me catch my breath. “And this... This is not fun.”
Chuckling, Quinn gave me a slight shove. “Come on, she's your best friend, keep moving.”
Grudgingly, I started again, grumbling under my breath. “Alright, alright, I'm going.” Waving a hand behind my back, I tried to swat at his chest.
But it didn't work, I couldn't twist enough in the teenie tiny hall to even get close to him.
Sweat had started to form across my hairline, a sharp pain sparked down my thighs, making me moan with annoyance.
“You alright? Is it the baby?” His voice was strained, searching for an immediate answer.
“I'm alright, just uncomfortable, that's all.” Gripping the railing, I continued my silent march.
Pregnancy had been kind to me for the most part. I dealt with the typical stuff I had G
oogled on the internet; heartburn, extreme fatigue, hot flashes—those sucked—and of course, the repeated kicking.
But now that I was hitting eight months, the end couldn't come fast enough.
Riley; yes we had picked a name... Finally. But the little hotshot had been spending his nights keeping me awake with some major gymnastics style tumbling, and his days making my stomach bounce from either hiccups or his daily peddling exercises.
Finally seeing the landing in my sight, I heaved a huge gust of air. “Oh thank God, the end is so close.”
“Are you still complaining about the stairs?”
“No, I'm done. But just be ready to give one hell of a piggy back ride when we leave.” Hitting the last and final step, I wiped my palms across my ribs, and gave a nice, loud, 'Whoot, whoot!' Pumping my fist in the air, I turned, making a few air filled jabs. “I'm king of the world!”
“No,” Quinn said, shaking his head. “I'm king of the world, you'd be the queen.”
Tilting my head towards my shoulder, I asked, “Did you reach the top first?” Pointing down at him, I blocked him from taking that final step with my bubbled gut. “No, you didn't, I did. So call it what you want, but I rule, that's all I'm saying.” Stepping to the side, I let him pass by me.
Quinn let out a loud laugh, highlighted in sarcasm. “Well you were in front, of course you reached the top first.”
“Hey now, don't try and squeeze lemon juice out of an orange. I won, the bell has rung, and you, my dear, came in second place.”
“Don't give me a reason to challenge you in a real race.” Scooping his arms around my waist, he forced me back against the wall, spotting my neck in rough kisses.
“Alright you two, are you coming in? Or are you just going to have your way with each other for all my neighbors to see?” Mia was holding her door open, shoulder leaning into the frame.
Flicking his eyes between Mia and myself, Quinn's eyebrows curved up. “You haven't told her?”
“Told me what?” Mia asked, pursing her lips in curiosity.
“Wow, I can't believe Cadence never told you.” Dragging his hand through his hair, he let it fall to his waist.