Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  It was pointless to wallow in guilt. I couldn’t go back and erase Davis Walker—master manipulator—from my past, even if I’d wanted to. But oh, how I wanted to.

  Pushing the depressing thoughts from my mind, I kissed Savannah on the cheek. After giving Dylan and Nick each a big hug we retrieved my luggage then headed to their house on the shores of Lake Michigan.

  “Come on, let’s grab some drinks and sit out on the deck,” Savannah suggested after I’d unpacked my suitcases. “We can catch up on some gossip. Maybe I can sweet talk the guys into fixing us dinner.”

  “Sounds great.” I nodded. “You know they’re spoiling you rotten, right?”

  “Yeah,” she giggled. “But I spoil them right back.”

  Dylan and Nick possessed mad culinary skills. The men had no business being in construction. The two could make an even bigger fortune if they tossed off their hard hats for chef’s hats and opened a five star restaurant. They were that amazing.

  As Savannah and I wound our way into the kitchen, I stopped and stared, like I always did. For a woman who could barely boil water, the extravagant room—with every top of the line appliance imaginable—simply overwhelmed.

  “Every time I walk in here, I imagine myself having a nervous breakdown trying to heat up a can of soup.”

  Savannah laughed, then reached into the fridge and grabbed a couple of diet sodas. I followed her out to the deck. The summer sun warmed my skin, and a gentle breeze blew through my hair, as we caught up on the latest gossip in our lives.

  “And to think, you gave up living alone in that cramped, over-priced, two bedroom apartment for all this,” I teased.

  “I know, right. What was I thinking?” she laughed then reached out and clasped my hand. “Oh, Mel, it’s so good to have you here. I’ve missed you so much.” Her eyes filled with tears and I felt my brows draw together tightly.

  “Sanna, what’s wrong? Tell me…”

  “I don’t know!” She threw up her hands and released a nervous chuckle before wiping her eyes. “I think I’ve got a wicked case of PMS going on.”

  “Ahh, okay. That I understand.”

  I sat up and leaned over, wrapping her in a tight hug. Boy was that the wrong thing to do. She didn’t find comfort in my soothing actions; she simply broke down in a fit of gut-wrenching sobs.

  Dylan and Nick stepped onto the porch. Their expressions of concern were identical.

  “Kitten?” Dylan softy whispered, as he knelt down next to her chair.

  “Hormones,” I whispered to him with a knowing wink.

  “Aww, princess,” Nick purred as he bent in close, easing Savannah from my arms.

  “I’m sorry for being such a hot mess, Masters,” she sniffed.

  A mischievous smile curled over Nick’s lips. “We like it when you’re a hot mess. We like it even more when we’re the ones making you that way. Look at me.”

  Savannah raised her head and gazed up at him. The love that reflected in her red-rimmed eyes was blinding, and my heart nearly burst with happiness for her.

  “We love you, precious. Raging hormones and all.” Nick smiled as he brushed away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “We want you to be happy, and if you’re not… then you need to tell us and we’ll fix it.”

  “I am happy, Master. I love you both so much,” Savannah sighed as she flashed a look over her shoulder toward Dylan and me. “You make me feel like a princess.”

  “You are our princess, and we love you. So put a smile on, kitten,” Dylan urged, dancing his fingers up and down her arm. “Your sister’s finally here. It’s time for happiness instead of tears.”

  Savannah gave a resolute nod and forced a watery grin.

  “Good girl,” Nick praised before kissing her softly.

  Good girl. A shiver slithered up my spine at his Dominant words. Being surrounded in an atmosphere of BDSM always played havoc with my head, and shoving my submissive longings down wasn’t going to be a picnic. I’d find a way to cope. A few weeks of having the lifestyle slapping me in the face wouldn’t kill me. Besides, spending time with my baby sister would be well worth it.

  When Savannah finally settled down, Dylan and Nick grabbed a couple of beers and joined us on the deck. We sat and talked, laughed and teased. Dylan was as smart-assed as ever with his quick comebacks and taunting jabs, while Nick, the quieter one, enjoyed baiting his friend simply to rile him up. Both made it blatantly obvious that they loved Savannah with every cell in their bodies. The maternal concern I’d harbored in regard to her relationship with the two men had been put to rest on my first visit. It was reassuring to see the three were still blissfully happy.

  As the sun ebbed below the horizon we drove to a quaint Italian restaurant for dinner called Maurizio’s. I was surprised to see several familiar members from Club Genesis dining there as well. Shoving down the niggling urges within, I painted on a self-assured smile, inwardly drawing my armor tightly around me as Savannah re-introduced me to their friends.

  Glancing toward the bar, I spied a hunk of a man—built like a lumberjack—smiling as he swaggered towards us. He zeroed in on me like a hawk circling a field mouse before extending his hand to me. Placing my fingers in his broad palm an electric sizzle raced up my arm.

  “Hello there, gorgeous. I’m Scotty. What’s your name?”

  “Mellie Carson,” I replied, flashing him a daring smile. Never one to walk away from a challenge, I met his carnal stare with one of my own.

  “Really?” he replied with a confident, wolfish grin.

  Before I could counter with a sultry comeback, Nick whisked me toward the other side of the restaurant to a table where a smiling couple sat eating.

  Nick introduced Tony and Leagh, the pending bride and groom who were to marry in a few short days. The man looked vaguely familiar as my mind flashed back to him sporting a tight black security T-shirt at the club. I recognized Leagh immediately. The first time I’d met her, she’d gone by the name Dahlia, and had been with a much older Master named George. When Savannah phoned to tell me George had died, I remembered how heartbroken I’d been for poor Leagh. But watching her with her new Dom, I realized that not only had her heart healed, but she’d gone through a huge transformation. No longer sassy and brash, she projected a self-assured poise and serenity about her, all but glowing beneath Tony’s tangible adoration.

  A flicker of hope whizzed through me. Leagh had been given a second chance at happiness and submission. Could I, too, be that lucky?

  Get real. Pining over power games won’t make you happy. No, everything I needed I provided for myself. Not many women had the opportunity to make an obscene amount of money doing what they loved. Cultivating my own happiness was empowering, and I didn’t need a man to do it. So what if I left dozens of short-term relationships in my wake? I lived my life without doling out promises, being tied to a collar, wedding ring, or marriage license. I took pride in the fact that I’d orchestrated my life exactly how I wanted it to be, without apology. I had to stop wasting time allowing myself to fall victim to longings I couldn’t afford to let resurface.

  Your life is perfect, dammit!

  We sat and ordered dinner. All through the meal I caught Scotty checking me out, sizing me up, and luridly undressing me with his eyes. He didn’t seem to give off a Dominant or submissive vibe, which was a relief. No, the man appeared to be a regular old vanilla guy and the exact distraction I needed to clear my head of BDSM thoughts.

  Encouraged by his attention, I flashed him several suggestive smiles; even going so far as to run my tongue up and down the tines of my fork when no one else was watching. Scotty let out a long, tortured groan, shook his head, and turned away. I had to bite back a laugh. Toying with the poor, horny man was delightfully entertaining.

  When dinner was done, Scotty approached the table with four small glasses of bright yellow liquor. Bestowing a bold and scandalous wink, he set one of the cordials down in front of me.

  “Limoncello, in honor of
your first—but hopefully not last—visit to Maurizio’s.”

  I flashed him a coy smile. “Thank you. I’m flattered.” As I lifted the glass to my lips I noticed a phone number scrawled on the napkin he’d set beneath my drink.

  “You’re quite welcome,” he smiled before bending close to my ear. “I get off work at two. If you’re still awake, give me a call.” Tapping his finger on the napkin, he flashed a wolfish grin.

  “I might have to start drinking coffee,” I countered in a sultry whisper.

  “I hope you do.” His reply sounded low and hungry.

  Gazing at me for several long seconds, Scotty jerked his head, as if remembering we weren’t alone. Embarrassment fluttered over his features before Scotty darted a glance around the table then cleared his throat.

  “How about some dessert? We’ve got New York Cheesecake. Maybe some Crème Brulee, or a piece of our decadent chocolate mousse cake?”

  I didn’t miss the knowing smirk Dylan and Nick shared between themselves before the two declined dessert.

  “Thanks, but I’m stuffed,” I replied with a shake of my head.

  “I’d love some,” Savannah replied, grinning at me like a schoolgirl. “Cheesecake please.”

  “You got it. I’ll be right back.” He nodded then turned and swaggered toward the kitchen. I couldn’t help but stare at his tight ass or the way his well-worn jeans hugged him so perfectly.

  “For crying out loud, Mel, you haven’t been in town twenty-four hours, and already you’re setting hearts on fire,” Savannah teased.

  “Trust me. It’s not his heart that’s on fire, unless it’s slipped down between his legs. The only thing I’ll be doing at two in the morning is snoring and drooling.”

  “That’s an attractive picture,” she snorted.

  Scotty pushed past the swinging stainless steel doors, carrying a thick slice of cheesecake. As he made his way to our table, I watched, appreciating the way the muscles on his arms rippled and bulged. No doubt the man spent hours at the gym honing his sculpted body. Savannah turned to see what I was staring at then let out a smothered chuckle.

  “Bet you five bucks you end up setting your alarm,” she teased.

  “Nah. He’s a hottie, all right. But all I want tonight is sleep. Tomorrow? Well… who knows, I might need to come back here for lunch,” I whispered as he drew close and placed a mountainous wedge of cheesecake in front of Savannah.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Bright and early the next morning, Savannah bolted into my room and pounced on the bed.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I groaned, trying to shake the sleep fog from my brain.

  “Get up, lazy bones. We’re going shopping!” she exclaimed with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

  “Shopping for what?” I mumbled, rubbing mine.

  “Nasty things, for Leagh’s bachelorette party.”

  “I’m wide awake now. When’s that happening, the party I mean?”

  “Friday night at Maurizio’s. We’ve reserved the back banquet room. No Doms allowed. It’s gonna be subbies gone wild!” She waggled her eyebrows. “And… Scotty’s going to be our private bartender,” she taunted in a singsong tone.

  “So? What are you trying to do, play matchmaker now that you found love?” I teased.

  “No, I’m not. But honestly, a blind man could see he wants you. He was practically drooling all over you,” she giggled.

  “Yeah, well they all drool from time to time. Don’t get me wrong. He’d be fun for a night or two, but that’s it.” I shook my head.

  “How do you know?” she countered.

  “Because they’re all fun for a night or two, but after that…” I wrinkled my nose.

  “I’ve always suspected you were allergic to monogamy.”

  “Yes, I am. It gives me hives that make me itch. Besides you might be happy with two men slobbering all over you, but… gag me, I like my freedom. Now where’s the coffee?” I asked, changing the subject as I bumped my hip against hers and climbed out of bed.

  “Downstairs in the big, scary kitchen.” Her voice wobbled in a creepy tone, and she made an evil face as she wiggled her fingers, like a wicked witch casting a spell.

  “You’re such a goof-ball,” I laughed as I pulled on my robe and secured the sash. Flashing Sanna a mischievous grin, I stepped closer toward the door. “Last one to the kitchen gets to eat what’s fixed.”

  Dashing out of the room, Savannah was hot on my heels. We both ran down the stairs like a herd of rampaging elephants, stopping when a fit of giggles hit us at the same time. We hadn’t played that stupid game since she was in high school and I needed to pry her from bed so she wouldn’t be late to class. Savannah would do almost anything to avoid eating what I cooked…. Or rather burned. I had skills, but definitely not in the kitchen.

  Dylan and Nick rounded the corner, staring up at us as if we’d lost our marbles while both Sanna and I laughed like a couple of loons. Nick held a phone against his ear and scowled. Dylan simply watched our antics with a goofy grin, shaking his head in disbelief at our crazy behavior.

  “Shhh,” I giggled, pressing a finger to my lips. “Nick’s on the phone and he looks like he’s ready to spank your ass.”

  A devilish glint flashed in Savannah’s eyes. Spinning around on the stair, she wiggled her backside, taunting the two men. “Here it is, baby. Come and get it. It’s all yours.”

  Nick bit back a smile while Dylan’s eyes flashed wide in surprise, and he started to laugh. Still giggling, Sanna turned and blew a kiss to her Masters. Without missing a beat of his conversation, Nick reached behind his head. Pulling the leather strip that held his long, ebony hair free, his raven mane spilled down over his shoulders. Pinning Sanna with a disapproving expression, he nodded toward his feet in silent instruction.

  Darting a nervous glace my way, she padded down the rest of the stairs. Once at the bottom, Nick motioned for her to turn around. A tiny ‘oops’ seeped from Sanna’s lips. Wedging the phone between his shoulder and his ear, Nick took the leather strap and bound her wrists behind her back, then pointed her toward the kitchen.

  “Not the rice, please,” she whispered with a beseeching plea.

  Nick swatted her ass. With a fierce scowl, he pointed more adamantly than before.

  Joining the two men at the bottom of the stairs, I looked up at Dylan.

  “Rice?” I whispered.

  With a hungry smile poised on his lips, Dylan watched the sway of my sister’s ass as she walked away. “Uh-huh.”

  “Do I even want to know?” I swallowed tightly.

  “You’ve never been punished with rice?” Dylan asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m not in the lifestyle… err, not anymore.”

  My remark caught Dylan off guard. He arched his brows and cocked his head, gazing into my eyes with a curious stare.

  “You know, it’s not a light switch you can turn off and on, Mellie. If the desire truly burns inside it will catch fire… no matter how hard you try to wish it away.” Studying me intently, he frowned. “Something bad happened to you, didn’t it? That’s why you left the lifestyle.”

  His spot-on assessment crushed down on me, like a ton of bricks. Dylan—the happy-go-lucky of the two—had seen right through me. Either he was psychic or I had been more transparent than I thought. Either way, I felt naked and exposed, and hastily averted my gaze to keep him from gaining even more insight.

  “I’ve worked through some bad shit, too. When you’re ready, we’ll swap stories. It might do you some good.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” I nodded; knowing damn good and well that day would never come. Then, like a big ol’ puss-bucket, I turned and scurried away to find Savannah.

  Unnerved by Dylan’s keen assessment, my worries quickly changed focus when I found my sister nervously pacing in the kitchen. Surely they weren’t going to punish her for our childish behavior, would they?

  “God, I flippin’ hate rice as a punishment.”

&nb
sp; Evidently they would.

  “Why can’t they just spank my ass?” she moaned.

  “Because you’d like it, precious,” Nick announced with a devious chuckle as he and Dylan entered the room.

  She jerked her head toward the two men. Regret lined her face. “I didn’t mean to make you mad, Masters. Mel and I were just dorkin’ around like we used to. You know… last one to the kitchen is a rotten egg kind of thing? Only I didn’t want to be the rotten egg because I’d have to eat what Mellie fixed, and well… Mellie’s a lousy cook.”

  “Oh, the thundering herd of wildebeests isn’t the issue at all, kitten,” Dylan grinned. “It was the taunt and wiggle of your sexy backside that’s gotten you into trouble.”

  “But I was just stating the obvious. It belongs to you two… I was simply acknowledging the fact,” she said, trying to charm her way out.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “You might as well take it like a woman. You’re already busted, baby.”

  She turned, pinning me with a look, as if I’d grown horns. “You’re not helping!”

  “I think you’re beyond help, sis.” I chuckled.

  “You’re just as guilty as I am,” she choked.

  “Um, no I’m not. I wasn’t the one taunting your Masters.”

  Sanna stuck her tongue out at me and I laughed even harder. Dylan and Nick turned their attention my way. Grabbing an empty mug, I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling like the third wheel at a motorcycle convention.

  “I’m just going to get some coffee and get out of your hair,” I mumbled. Staring at the handles and dials on the silver plated appliance, I couldn’t find anything that resembled the simple drip-style coffee maker I had at home. “Ah, if I can figure this fancy thing out, that is.”

  Without a word, Dylan sidled up beside me, hastily showed me which button to push and lever to pull. In a matter of seconds, I had a sweet, creamy, steaming cup in hand.

  “I’ll be, umm, up in the shower,” I nervously announced. Flashing Savannah a clandestine wink of encouragement I tiptoed toward the doorway.

  “That’s a wonderful idea, Mellie,” Nick purred as he stepped in close to my sister, caressing a dark hand over her ass. “She’ll be up when we’re done here. It shouldn’t take long.”