Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  My phone dinged once again, but he ignored it and led me out of the house and into the passenger seat of my car. Once behind the wheel, Joshua leaned over and fastened my seat belt before flipping open my purse and grabbing my keys.

  “Are you going to read what he sent?”

  “No. All I want to do right now is get you someplace safe.”

  “Are we going back to Chicago?”

  “Yes. But Davis isn’t going to find you. Trust me,” Joshua vowed as he turned the key in the ignition.

  Reaching out, I placed my hand on his. “I do trust you. I know you’ll keep me safe.”

  He softened and a satisfied smile spread over his face.

  “You bet your sexy ass I will.”

  He handed me back my phone. “Here, call Savannah. She’s worried. Tell her we’ll be home in a few days.”

  “Days?”

  “We’re driving to Chicago. Davis will be expecting us to fly. If we’re lucky Chicago P.D. will find him at the airport long before we leave the state. We’re going home.”

  Home. The way he said the word filled me with warmth.

  Staring at the blank screen of my cell phone, I didn’t want to look at the unread message, but the conviction laced in Joshua’s oath gave me strength and courage.

  Unknown: That’s right, fuck face. Bring her back home to ME. To a REAL man, you pansy assed prick.

  “Joshua, Davis knows we’re headed to Chicago.”

  “Good. Now call Savannah, little one. Let her know she doesn’t need to worry anymore.”

  Joshua peeled out of the driveway and raced up the street as I dialed up Sanna. The Bluetooth engaged and her fragile ‘hello’ came through the car speakers. As soon as she heard my voice, she burst into tears, and Dylan ended up taking the phone from her.

  “Mellie, don’t worry, we’ll take good care of Sanna. She’s just scared and worried about you.”

  “So am I. But I know we’re going to be fine. Please tell her not to worry, Dylan.”

  “I will. Tell Joshua we’ve been in touch with Ian and we’re getting things squared away on this end.”

  “I’m right here on speaker phone,” Joshua confirmed. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, utterly confused.

  “I’ll explain later,” Joshua replied cryptically.

  “No problem. Hey, Mellie, just stick close to him. He knows what he’s doing.”

  I darted a look at the man sitting next to me. His expression was resolute. Glancing over at me, he smiled and nodded. “Damn straight, I do.”

  “Great. Be careful,” Dylan warned. “We’ll see you when you get here.”

  “Mel,” Sanna cried. “I’ll see you soon, right?”

  What if I never got to see my baby sister again? The desperation in her voice… was the last straw. My walls of bravery and resolve crumbled as reality and panic stormed through me and I burst into tears. Joshua reached out and gripped my hand, unable to hide the shock of seeing me fall completely apart.

  “I’ll see you soon, baby,” I sobbed.

  “Savannah, I’m bringing her back to you safe and sound. I promise,” Joshua guaranteed with both conviction and compassion.

  “Thank you, Sir. I love you, Mel,” Sanna wailed.

  “I love you too, baby.” My voice cracked as tears spilled down my cheeks.

  Joshua disconnected the call and pulled off the highway onto an exit ramp. Shoving the car in park, he pulled me into his arms and held me as I sobbed.

  “That’s it, baby. Let it all out. I’m so proud of how strong and brave you’ve been through all this shit. But, sweetheart, you don’t have to be anymore, I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go.”

  Yes, he had me… all of me, from the tough and mouthy to the damaged and fragile, and everything in between. I trusted him with the pieces of my soul, because he’d already proven he’d hold them like a priceless treasure, right in the palm of his hand. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t afraid to share them, regardless of what the future had in store.

  Bolstered by his unyielding compassion, I pulled myself together enough for us to get back on the road. Staring out the window, the sound of my sister’s fear resonated in my ear. I’d wasted too many years neglecting her, and after all that had transpired back at my house, I knew I’d never feel completely safe there again. I was ready to move… move to Chicago and find a place to call ‘home’.

  Turning my attention to Joshua’s conversation with Pruett, I listened as he informed the detective that we were driving back to Chicago, not flying. In charge and in command, Joshua suggested the Pruett put a net of plain clothes officers at the airport. Davis knew our plan to head home. Hopefully he assumed we’d fly back to Chicago. With my hand clenched in my lap, I nervously worried one thumb over the other as I listened to their conversation. Joshua reached out and threaded his fingers through mine before bringing my hand to his lips for a tender kiss.

  “We were able to get an image off Melinda’s neighbor’s security system. I’m having it downloaded as we speak. I’ll send it via e-mail as soon as it’s done. We need a positive ID on this guy to speed things along. We captured a clear image of his face for a couple of seconds. I’m going to have our IT gurus blow up some still shots for you.”

  “We’ll keep checking our phones. Thanks,” Joshua replied.

  “Stay in touch with me while you’re on the road, okay?”

  “Will do.” Joshua ended the call then frowned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Pruett just told us to keep in touch while we were on the road. I hope to god he wasn’t inside your house when he said that. Kerr will know we’re not flying.”

  “Surely he’s not that stupid, is he?”

  “Let’s hope not.”

  My stomach swirled in a churning mixture of anxiety and fear, while my brain spooled in a constant cycle of anger and fear.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joshua glance my way. “I can feel the thoughts swirling in your pretty little head. Talk to me, little one.”

  A humorless chuckle rolled off my lips. “I don’t even know where to start. Anger and fear don’t mix well, so excuse me if I’m not singing songs about rainbows and butterflies.”

  “Spitting sarcasm isn’t going to help either,” Joshua smirked.

  “I don’t mean to be snarky. I’m just being honest.”

  “I do appreciate that.” He grinned. “Even though your plate is full, I won’t allow it to erase the lines between us.”

  His message was loud and clear. Joshua expected me to stay a proper submissive when my whole fucking life was coming apart at the seams. Even Penn & Teller couldn’t pull that one off.

  My phone chimed, alerting us had a message. Joshua glanced over as his jaw ticked in anger.

  “You don’t have to read any more of his fucking threats, little one.”

  “I know.” I didn’t. I didn’t want to see what scathing shit Davis spewed, but I wasn’t going to let him dictate another fraction of my life. Leaning over, I dug the phone from my purse and slid the device open.

  Unknown: So you and lover boy decided to drive home. Perfect. Wanna bet that I can figure out what route you’re taking? Watch out, bunny. You never know where I might show up, maybe even in your hotel room along the way. Don’t worry. Maybe I’ll let him watch me fuck you before I slit his throat… then I’ll do yours.

  Trembling, I turned off the phone and shoved it back in my purse.

  “Baby… you’ve turned deathly white.”

  “If Davis gets his way, it’ll be my permanent color.”

  “Did he threaten you… physically, I mean?”

  “Both of us. He wants to kill both of us now.” I closed my eyes. “Oh, and Pruett must have been inside the house when you talked to him, because Davis has figured out we’re driving back to Chicago.”

  “That stupid son of a bitch,” Joshua cursed as he punched the phone icon on the dashboard, syncing up
his own Bluetooth. The first call he made was to Mika. Joshua didn’t bother asking; he demanded the dungeon owner contact someone named Landes and have a restraining order drawn up on my behalf.

  “You got it,” Mika inhaled deep. “Between Nick, Dylan, and Ian, my damn phone’s been ringing off the hook. You two get your asses back here safely. We’ll handle the rest.”

  Before I could ask about the plans that everyone seemed to know about, except me, Joshua called Ian. He informed his ménage buddy that Davis “just took a massive shit in his kennel.”

  “That’s actually a good thing,” Ian chuckled. It chaffed that he found humor in the whole craptastic mess. “Did he threaten to kill you two in a public place?”

  “No,” I replied. “He suggested that he might be waiting for us at a hotel along the way so he could slit our throats.”

  Joshua issued a low growl.

  “Dammit. The prick’s smart. If he continues with the threats, try and see if you can get him to admit he’d like to kill you and everyone around you, like at a mall or a beauty salon—somewhere public. I’m not saying bait him, just lead him if you can.”

  “What good will that do?” Joshua asked, clearly irritated.

  “That makes him a terrorist, man,” Ian answered with glee. “He’ll find himself in a federal shit storm. With enough charges, he could spend a lot of years behind bars.”

  “I don’t want her encouraging him. Not. At. All,” Joshua stated emphatically.

  “You need to lighten up, man,” Ian warned. “You know damn good and well we’re going to keep her hidden away nice and safe.”

  “I know that. But I won’t use her as bait. Not for you or anyone else.”

  “Okay, just forget I mentioned it. We don’t have to go that route,” Ian tried to soothe Joshua, but anger continued to roll off his body.

  I placed my hand on his thigh in hopes it might relax him. It took several long seconds before I felt some of the tension leave his muscles.

  “Who all is going to be there?” Joshua asked.

  “We’ve got me of course and a couple guys from my team coming. Drake… he’s arranged for Trev to stay with Mika and Julianna. I guess Savannah came unglued and topped all over the place, refusing to stay behind. So she’ll be there, too with Dylan and Nick… wearing a nice red ass, I’ll bet,” Ian chuckled.

  “Coming where?” I asked.

  “To the cabin,” Ian replied.

  “What cabin?”

  “Ahh, I haven’t had a chance to talk to her about that yet, bro,” Joshua sighed.

  “Oh, my bad. Sorry, man.”

  “No problem, I’ll get to it soon.” Joshua glanced my way with half a smirk.

  “What else are you keeping from me?” I demanded in a sharp, accusatory tone.

  “Well, well… look at the time,” Ian snorted. “I’ll let you two work this out. I gotta run. Talk to you later. Bye.”

  He hung up almost instantly and Joshua started to laugh. “Pussy,” he chuckled, glancing at the disconnected call.

  “Well?” I asked impatiently.

  Joshua laughed even harder. “That’s the wrong way to start this conversation, little one. Would you like to start again?” He lifted his brows in an egotistical arch as he tore his eyes off the road for a split second.

  “Can’t we just be two regular people and have a normal conversation?”

  “I’m not a two-sided coin, little one. What you see is what you get. With everything that’s happened, I’m sure it’s easier for you to wear your tough-girl armor. I get that. But it’s my job to keep you in your place.”

  I hung my head and scrubbed my hands over my face. It was easier for me to confront things head on when presented with a challenge. Yes, I’d given the man my trust and submission; it filled me with a sense of completeness, but Joshua wanted me to mesh both the fragile and the strong? It couldn’t be done. They were two totally separate entities within me.

  I sucked in a calming breath and pulled out the submissive inside. “Would you please tell me about the cabin, Master Stephen?” I asked, trying oh so hard not to grit my teeth.

  His chest expanded and a warm smile tugged his lips. “I’d love to, little one, after we get some food.”

  Joshua signaled, taking the exit ramp, and pulled into a truck stop. Seated at a booth, I asked him again about the cabin.

  “We’ll talk about it in car, Mellie.” He smiled.

  I opened my mouth to speak then snapped it shut. Tossing my head back, I stared at the ceiling and counted to ten. In my peripheral vision, Joshua smiled and studied the menu.

  And the lesson for today, ladies and gentlemen, is… patience.

  He had me so furious I wanted to scream. And I still hadn’t figured out a way to pilot my own destiny while kneeling at his feet.

  What are you whining about? You can do both; you’re just too scared. Scared to let go of that stranglehold you have on your willpower. What more does the man have to do to prove he’s not going to let you down? Okay, so he’s thumped his chest a few times. He even got a little snippy once, but you asked for it with that sassy mouth of yours. How many times have you lost control? The scales are tipped, but not in your direction. He wants to help you, not only when it comes to your submission, but look at him sitting there. None of the fuck-buddies you’ve had in the past would go out of their way to keep you out of harm’s way like Joshua has. If you trust him to save your life, for shit sake, trust him to save your heart. For all the posturing and lip service you give to the contrary…you really are a coward.

  I exhaled a deep sigh, as a frown burrowed over my face. Tuning out the annoying voice in my head—the same one that had done a complete one-eighty since I first met Joshua—I closed my eyes. Too exhausted and confused to try and sort it out, I simply wanted peace of mind for five damn minutes.

  “Is there a winner of that war going on inside your gorgeous head, Mellie?”

  Don’t try lying to him, but more importantly… don’t lie to yourself anymore.

  “Yes, Sir. You are.” Gazing into his eyes, I found that peace of mind, and I welcomed his penetrating stare without reservation.

  “Hrmm,” he murmured. “’Bout damn time. I like it. I like it a lot.”

  “Me, too… I think,” I whispered.

  Joshua cleared his throat. “Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page. Now to answer your questions, Ian has a cabin an hour or so from Chicago. I’ve gone there with him several times. It’s surrounded by six acres of woods and is secluded.”

  “You’ve gone with him alone?” The question popped out of my mouth before I had a chance to bite it back. I had no right to ask, but the little green-eyed monster within wanted to know.

  “Most of the time he and I went to get away from the city, to hunt and fish and sometimes we brought along a sub to share,” he replied directly.

  “And exactly why are we going there now?”

  “Because it’s away from Chicago, and like I said, very secluded. It’s where we intend to hide you until this shit with Walker is over.”

  “But why the entourage? I mean, why are Sanna, Dylan, Nick, Ian and everyone coming, too?”

  “Because they’re our friends… our family. They want to be there to help make sure nothing happens to you… or me.”

  “How long are you planning on keeping me there?” I frowned. My question sounded accusatory. “That came out wrong. You know what I mean.”

  “As long as it takes. Until Davis is arrested,” he replied resolutely.

  “But all those people have jobs. Dylan and Nick can’t be away from their company for an indefinite amount of time, and I’m dying to know what Ian does for a living, but they’re not going to be able to stay forever, and neither are we.”

  “Well, unfortunately until Davis is caught, you’re going to have to turn down any jobs that require you to travel.”

  “I can’t do that,” I gasped.

  Joshua raised his hands. “Think about it for a min
ute before you lose your cool. Okay?”

  Dammit, why did he have to use that calm, soothing tone? Why did he always have to stay in such irritating control all the time? ‘I’m not a two sided coin, little one. What you see is what you get.’ His words echoed in my brain. That was why.

  “Yes, I understand. It wouldn’t be safe for me to go prancing all over the world with some deranged dipshitiot after me.”

  Joshua laughed. “Exactly. But getting back to your original question, Dylan and Nick can work from the cabin, and if they have to go back Chicago then they’ll go. No one is being forced to stay at the cabin, Mellie, not even you. But they’re there because they want to be. They want to keep you safe.”

  After taking a drink of water, he continued. “As for your curiosity about Ian, he used to be a cop, but now he does private investigations and bodyguards a few musicians, actors, and an occasional political candidate or two.”

  “Seriously?” I blinked. “He looks like a banker or a stock broker.”

  Joshua laughed. “His unassuming guise is what makes him so successful. But don’t let him fool you. He can take a man three times his size down in seconds. Let’s just say you definitely want Ian on your side.”

  “So we’re all just going to hang out at the cabin until Davis is arrested? That’s the plan?”

  “Yes, unless you have a better one?”

  “No.” I frowned. “It just seems way over the top. I mean, I know he threatened to kill us, but don’t you think this is all a bit… excessive?”

  Joshua sobered. “We’ve only known each other a short time, Mellie, but you mean a whole lot to me. I don’t want to lose another woman who’s touched my heart.”

  His confession would normally have sent me zinging out the door like a super-sonic jet, but there was no way to deny it; he’d touched my heart, too.

  Suddenly I heard my sister’s voice in my head, “It’s okay to let someone in. It’s okay to take a chance, because it’s so worth it. I could keel over and die tomorrow, but I’d go happy. I have these two incredible, wonderful men in my life who fill me full of all the things I’d been missing. The joy outweighs the risk by so much, it’s incomprehensible.”