Uncaged Love: Volume 6 (Uncaged Love #6)

by J J Knight

  “Of course you will!” she says. “These boys need to be held accountable for their actions.”

  I wish it were that easy. “I just don’t want to hit the news right before the wedding.”

  She frowns. She gets that. She stands up. “I’m going to make some tea. We could all use a little soothing.”

  Hudson and I look at each other as if to say, yeah, THAT is going to help.

  A strange feeling comes over me. It’s unfamiliar, a warmth creeping up despite the nightmare I’ve just escaped. These people care about me. We understand each other.

  Hudson leans in. “So what really happened?”

  I can’t tell him either, not about what they intended to do. I don’t know what came over them, why they thought they could get away with that. Unless they intended to kill me too. I shudder.

  “I couldn’t bring them down,” I say. “I didn’t have the power.”

  “Three on one,” Hudson says. “Nobody could do that.”

  “Colt could,” I say grimly. And if he finds out about it, he will. “We’ll have to keep this quiet or the wedding will never happen without a disaster.”

  Hudson leans his head back on the sofa. “I feel like this is all my fault. I did that stupid fight.”

  I elbow him. “It’s not your fault they are punks. I’ve encountered plenty of them in fighting circles. And out of them.” I remember the boys on the street the day I met Colt. And the ones I worked with. And my stepbrother. So many rotten people in the world. It can make you lose faith in humanity. I felt that way for a while. Only Colt brought it back.

  Mom sticks her head through the door to the living room. “Hudson, are you working tomorrow on top of training?”

  He sits up. “Unfortunately, I am.”

  “No tea for you. Off to bed.”

  “I gotta move out and find my own place,” he says.

  Mom snaps her dish towel. “No way. I need a baby at home.” Then she brightens. “Or a grandbaby!”

  Hudson laughs. “Now who’s getting ideas? I wanna see Jo work that into her sparring schedule.”

  I toss a sofa pillow at him as he ducks down the hall to his room.

  “Come on,” Mom says. “The kettle is about to whistle.”

  I head into the kitchen and sit at her table. This room is becoming familiar to me. Like home.

  She shuts off the burner right as the kettle starts to steam. I watch her as she pours water into two mugs already prepped with tea bags.

  Mom takes her time returning the kettle to the stove and settling on a chair. I still don’t know her very well, so I wonder if this is the way she acts before saying something difficult or asking hard questions.

  I grip the mug. “I’ll be fine on the sofa,” I say.

  She purses her lips. Her hair is up in its usual messy twist, but at the end of the long day, tendrils have escaped all around her face. She looks young and pretty, and I wonder why having a man in her life is so bad. But I don’t ask.

  “So I get the feeling you’re not going to tell me the whole story,” she says.

  My hesitation is enough to make her tap her fingers on the table. “All right,” she says. “Do you have a girlfriend? Somebody close? You can’t bottle all this up. It will find its way out.” She arches an eyebrow at me pointedly. I know she’s talking about the hurricane. I can’t tell her that it let me down when I needed it the most.

  “There’s Zero. He’ll be up for the wedding,” I say.

  “I recall you mentioning him. Is that his real name?”

  “It’s actually short for Zerobia.” I wonder how much I should tell her about Zero in advance. He’s sort of a force to be reckoned with now that he’s gone full-time drag. He likes living as a man dressing as a woman and has no intention of changing his gender assignment.

  Mom sips her tea, watching me.

  “He is a stage actor, in drag. Zerobia is his stage name. He goes by Zero, though.”

  She sets down her cup. “Will he be dressed as a woman in the bridal party?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  She stands up, then sits down again. “I’ll have to remember to tell Zandalee to switch one of the boutonnieres to a bouquet.”

  I let out my breath slowly. I’m relieved that she will take him as he comes. Zero and I are a package deal.

  “You going to call him and talk out what happened tonight?” she asks.

  It’s a good idea. “Maybe. It’s late in Vegas.”

  “Tomorrow, then.” She stares out the back window. There isn’t anything to see, just the darkness of night.

  I decide to bring up the hurricane again. She’s the only one who understands that.

  “Mom,” I say. “The other night, at the match, I had another hurricane. It’s what started all this mess with these punks.”

  She turns back to me, concern all over her expression. “What did you do?”

  “The boxer kept hitting Hudson when he was down. I blew my stack. I jumped him.”

  Mom presses her hand to her throat. “Did you hurt him?”

  “No, but a crowd came in to stop me, and I just laid into them all. There were quite a few injuries. I don’t think anything serious.”

  She reaches across the table for my arm. “Jo, you have to be in control.”

  I stand up abruptly, and the chair pushes back with a squeal. “I thought I was! I thought I gave up that powerful strength for Colt.” I turn around. “I made a bargain with the universe, that I would never use the hurricane again if Colt would be all right.”

  Mom stands up to face me. “It doesn’t work like that. It has a life of its own. It can’t be bartered with. Either you control it, or it has control of you.”

  My throat tightens and I have to fight to swallow. “It let me down tonight. I needed it back, and it didn’t come.”

  She sinks back into her chair. “You have to tell it what you need.” Her expression falls, full of despair. “You can’t be afraid.”

  I sit next to her again. “What do I do? Use it or send it away? I obviously can’t rely on it.”

  She stares at her hands. “Let me tell you what happened to me, and maybe this will help you in some way.”

  I hold my breath. I knew there was more to her story.

  “After I left your father, I went north and wandered the streets of Chicago. I worked a little, as a waitress for a while. Sometimes I sold flowers in bars.”

  She touches the rim of her mug. “After a year, I met Hudson’s father. He was very charismatic. I knew he was bad news. I did. I could sense it. But he had a magical way of making you feel special and loved. I moved in with him after only a week.”

  She shakes her head. “Foolish, foolish thing to do. As soon as he had me, he showed me his true nature. Hard, dangerous, abusive. I was literally locked in. With no close friends, no real job, I had no one to notice when I disappeared from the world.”

  I drop my hands to my lap, clasping them tightly together. I want to punch this invisible man, the horrible person my mother once knew.

  She goes on. “No amount of hurricane can get you through a steel door. He literally tied me down when we were together. I rarely got food. I was just there to serve his needs. When I realized I was pregnant, I felt a lot of despair. How could I possibly bring a child into that world?”

  I can’t stay quiet anymore. “What did you do?”

  “I turned my fear into determination. I paid attention to the porn he played incessantly. I read his magazines. I really learned him, what made him crazy, what he needed the most. I gave it to him, hardcore, made him crave it. When he finally started freeing me more so I could do all the things he was desperate for, I unleashed.”

  She stops. Her eyes are fixed on the table. I know she’s seeing scenes she never wanted to replay in her mind. I wait her out.

  Her voice is tremulous. “I killed him.”

  The room shifts. I grip the edge of the table. “You…killed him?”

  “I strangled hi
m with the ropes he used on me. I didn’t waver for an instant.” She looks up then, and I can see the resolve in her eyes. “I had no choice.”

  “What happened? Did you get caught?”

  “Yes,” she says. “I was tried for manslaughter. There was no proof of his mistreatment. They found me guilty. I went to jail when I was eight months along with your brother.”

  “Your family didn’t know?”

  “Not until then. When he was born, I called Tutu and she came for him. I didn’t even want to look at him. I was sentenced to twenty-five years. I wouldn’t know him.”

  “But it hasn’t been that long. Hudson is only eighteen.”

  “Yes, Tutu raised the money for a new lawyer and we appealed. At the second trial, the verdict was reversed. But his family pushed, so a very convincing lawyer got me tried on other charges.”

  “How long did it take to get free?” I ask.

  “All told, about four years,” she says.

  “So you came back to Hawaii then.”

  She nods. “I didn’t pull myself together for a while. By the time I went looking for you, there was no Joanna Barnes to be found anywhere.”

  “I was Joanna Mahoney by then,” I say. “But I don’t really know if my stepmother did the paperwork properly.”

  Mom looks around the room, eyes resting on the bits of color and art all around. I see her calming herself, gathering peace. “You see now why I work as I do. My criminal history makes employment difficult. But I get by.”

  “Why do you think it worked that last time and not before?” I ask.

  “It’s so simple,” she says. She meets my eyes. “When your determination outweighs your fear, then you find your hurricane.”

  I think on this. It is true. The night of Hudson’s fight, I was determined to get Exterminator off him. But a few hours ago, I was afraid.

  I flash through my history, when I was able to fight, and when I would lose. I can see it.

  I have to take control. Be determined.

  And I have to lose my fear.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I know what I have to do.

  First, I have to figure out where the underground fights are that Officer Su talked about. If she thinks Exterminator will crawl out of whatever gutter he’s hiding in and show up, I want to be there.

  I’d like to trust her, to know for sure that these guys will leave Hudson alone after I’m gone on my honeymoon. But I don’t. They have to respect us at the fighter level.

  And Hudson has to be involved.

  When I tell him my plan, he knows I mean it. He asks around to find out the location of the fights.

  Meanwhile, Colt and Zero are arriving and I know Colt will want to interfere. It will be my job to keep him away, to protect his position and his title while I clean up the mess I unintentionally started.

  I drive Hudson’s car out to the airport two days later to meet the private plane. I’m so anxious to see Colt that I almost drive out onto the runway. A guy in a yellow vest frantically waves two colored wands to get me to stop.

  I’m not used to these private airstrips. I slam on the brakes and turn behind one of the small outbuildings.

  The plane arrives about fifteen minutes behind schedule. I tap the steering wheel, anxious about how the conversation about my plan will go. I won’t lie to Colt or hide what I’m doing. But I have to make him understand that he can’t be there. I can’t be worried about what will happen to him or his career.

  A couple of the grounds crew roll a stairway over to the plane, and I exit the car. In the distance, commercial airplanes taxi down the larger runways to the main airport.

  Zero comes down first, surprising me by wearing one of his old outfits from when he worked at the cafe. Relaxed black jeans, a button-down boy shirt, and spotless sneakers. No dress, no wig, no makeup. I love Zero every way he comes, but seeing him like this is like coming home. It’s how we knew each other the longest.

  Colt hurries down the steps, scanning for me. I know when he sees me, because he pauses and presses his hand to his heart. I flood over with emotion for him. He looks amazing in jeans, a silky black short-sleeved button-down, and the ball cap he had made for me, black with the word HURRICANE in blue letters. My fight colors.

  He still believes.

  I grip the keys in my hand. The wind blows my ponytail. Zero seems to only have eyes for the ocean, but eventually he spots me too. Colt catches up to him and the two of them head my way.

  “Jo, Jo, JO!” Zero calls out. “I’m so glad to see you!” He reaches me and envelops me in a hug. “Damn, you’re strong!” He squeezes my upper arms. “Forget Michelle Obama’s arms, you got it goin’ ON.”

  He makes me smile. Colt nudges his shoulder. “My turn,” he says.

  Zero steps back with a bow, as though he’s allowing Colt to take the next dance at a ball.

  “Hey,” Colt says, pulling me up against him.

  The wind blows hot on our faces as he leans down to kiss me. I just thought Zero seemed like home. When Colt draws me to him, I am home. His lips are warm and urgent on my mouth. His arms come around my back and lock me against him.

  As the kiss goes on, I relax. This is my Colt. The one I’ve fought side by side. Who let me run off with Brittany to get revenge on Lani and Annie. He gets me. He’ll know why I have to go to the fight tomorrow night.

  “Um, lovebirds? Our luggage is here,” Zero says.

  When I break away from Colt to look at Zero, he rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning from ear to ear. A cart approaches, loaded with boxes and suitcases. I look at the bags in wonder. “How much of this is yours?” I ask Colt.

  “One bag,” he says. “One.”

  Zero flashes me a big smile. “I’m in Hawaii! I had to bring EVERYTHING!” He does a little hip swish, dancing in short mincing steps across the asphalt as if he’s wearing a grass skirt.

  “Come on,” Colt says. “Let’s get out of this airport and hit the beach.” He squeezes my shoulders. “Please tell me you have the tiniest bikini imaginable.”

  “I do!” Zero says.

  We all burst into laughter.

  This is better. Absolutely better.

  I decide not to hit any hard topics until we’re where Colt wants to be, spread out on towels on the non-city side of the island. The Cure and Eve have rented an outrageous mansion on the beach to hold the wedding guests.

  “This is the life,” Zero says, kicking off his sandals and lying back on a cool gel pillow. “Please tell me we’re moving here permanently.”

  “Jo’s got family here,” Colt says. “They could probably help you get settled.”

  Zero opens one eye. He’s still boy dressing, wearing neon board shorts and a black cord necklace with a conch shell. He’s given me a ridiculously small hot-pink bikini, which I only agreed to since we were on a private beach with nobody but him and Colt.

  Colt hasn’t kept his hands off me since I put it on. He lies next to me, his towel overlapping mine.

  “You think there’s any decent-paying shows in Waikiki?” Zero asks. “Tourists love drag.”

  “Probably,” Colt says. “You can ask around.”

  Zero drops his sunglasses down from his forehead and settles in. The happy grin on his face tells me he’s thinking about it.

  “What about Angel?” I ask. I assume his on-again, off-again relationship with one of his drag show costars is still a factor.

  “He’ll love it here. Who wouldn’t?” Zero says.

  I squirt sunscreen on my palm, but Colt snatches my hand and scrapes it off. “This is my job,” he says, spreading the lotion across my thigh.

  “That’s what I’m talking about,” Zero says. “Nothing sexier than the beach.”

  I try to relax as Colt rubs the sunscreen into my skin. But he knows. As soon as he gets to my shoulders, he asks, “What’s got you so riled? Your brother okay after that fight he got in?”

  I roll on my side to face him. His chest is so close, smooth a
nd muscled. I run my finger along the swirly tattoo on his bicep. “There’s something I have to do tomorrow night,” I tell him.

  He grasps my hand and kisses my fingers. That’s when he notices their condition. “You been punching bags without gloves?”

  I shake my head slowly. He lets go.

  “Jo, what’s going on?”

  So I tell him about Hudson’s fight, and my hurricane, and the car, the house windows, and my altercation with the three boys at the gym.

  He sits up. “They got your pants down?” His breathing comes fast and his neck starts turning red.

  “I was all right, Colt. I still think if it had gotten any further, I would have snapped. I don’t know why I didn’t.”

  Well, I do, I think to myself, but I’m not going to admit my fear aloud. Now that I know how weak it makes me, I won’t let it happen again.

  “I’m going to kill them,” he says. “I’m going to pop their punk-ass heads from their skinny pathetic bodies.”

  I press my palm into his chest. “You won’t. I will leave this island before I let you do that.”

  He presses his hand over mine. “Jo, I’m not going to let this stand.”

  “Neither am I. That’s why I’m going to an underground fight tomorrow night. Officer Su was sure they would show up despite knowing they’re facing charges.”

  He sits up. “Good. So am I. We’re going to make them wish they’d never been born.”

  I kneel next to him. “No, that’s my job. Mine. Your job is to keep your title and your position. I won’t let you throw it away on a few bad fighters.”

  His eyes bore into mine, almost entirely green right now, like a churning sea. “Jo, you have to understand something.” His voice is bitter and hard. “I don’t give a shit about my title or my position. I give a shit about you.”

  I grab his fist and tighten my hands around it. “I know this,” I say. “But Officer Su is going to be there.”

  “She did a shit job of protecting you up until now,” he says.

  “If I might interject,” Zero says, “I will remind all present parties that I am a master of costume and disguise. If Colt wants to go incognito, I’m ready, willing, and able to assist.”