“I…I don’t understand…”
He reaches up to cradle my cheek. “I’ve been waiting for you. Because I’m in love with you, Rox. I never stopped loving you. Believe me, I thought all this would be enough—the money, the fame, the awards. And I made a lot of mistakes trying to convince myself that I wasn’t totally fucked up without you. But none of this means shit if you’re not in my life. And I would give it all up right now if it would make you love me too.”
He looks up at me, his eyes gleaming with fear and hope under a veil of shimmering moonlight. I look down at him, unable to convey the words that have been scrawled on my heart since I was just a girl. So instead of telling him that I love him too—that I have loved him since he was the scrawny blond-haired boy—I grip the hem of my shirt and lift it over my head.
Riot’s eyes roam my bare skin as if he’s never seen it before. Our gazes lock, and he asks, “What does this mean?”
I grasp his shirt to pull him to an upright position. “Kiss me and find out.”
His mouth is hot and commanding as he wraps me in his arms, kissing me deep and desperately. I grip the back of his hair, brushing love notes over his tongue before giving it a hungry suck, simulating all the ways I’d lave his pulsing cock. That’s all the invitation he needs. His fingers find the clasp of my bra and within seconds, the straps fall over my shoulders. He takes my heavy breasts into his hands and rubs my nipples with the pad of his thumbs, causing me to shudder. His dick twitches against me in response and I gasp. When my nipples have swelled to hard, aching peaks begging for his tongue, he abandons my mouth to suck them both into his mouth. I moan, gripping his hair harder. I roll my hips, needing the friction of his thickness through our clothes. He bares his teeth and nibbles each sensitive bud then flicks his tongue over them to soothe the sting.
“God, I’m so fucking hard for you right now,” he utters as he kisses up my neck to reclaim my lips. I rock into him, eager to feel every inch of that hardness. “You drive me crazy. I want you so bad it hurts.”
He takes my mouth again, only pausing so I can lift his shirt over his head. I take in his beautiful body, watching as ripples of muscle and ink quiver under my touch. There’s so much more of him I long to feel, and while this isn’t our first time together, it is new and uncharted territory. We’ve grown up, we’ve learned our bodies, we’ve had other sexual experiences. The nerves creep in, tainting this tender moment with doubt. How can I measure up to all the women Riot has slept with? Women with perfect, perky boobs and round, firm asses and tight, flat tummies. Women that haven’t been marked with age and gravity and haven’t had to give a second thought to cellulite or stretch marks. How would he look at me when he realized that maybe I didn’t change for the better?
“Hey,” he says softly, brushing the hair away from my face. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I shake my head, but I can’t hide the insecurity shadowing my features. “You’re a star. You’ve been with…shit. I don’t even know how many women you’ve been with and I don’t want to. It’s just, I’m not a model, Riot. I’m not a pop princess or an actress or even a video vixen. I don’t get diamond facials or 24k body scrubs. I’ve never had plastic surgery or even Botox. I’m ordinary. I’m a regular woman. And I don’t know if that can be enough for you.”
It’s more honesty than I intend, and I hate myself for reducing my worth to my appearance. I’m not Haze-confident, but I love me. I love the little dimples in my skin that others may try to laser away. I bloat like a mofo and get a zit or two on my period, and I’m not a stranger to pore strips for my blackheads. My hair has split ends and if I don’t shave my legs and underarms every day, I look like a baby yeti, thanks to my mixed heritage. I’m not like any of the other women Riot has been linked to. And before this moment, I was proud of that fact.
He drags his teeth over his lip as he gazes at me, seeing all the little imperfections I’ve adopted over the years, and says, “There is nothing you or anyone could ever say to convince me that you’re not the most incredible woman on this earth, and that I’m not the luckiest motherfucker alive to have you here with me. Roxanne Lee, I may be the star. But, baby, you shine brighter than all the rest.”
He brings his lips to mine and kisses me tenderly while holding me in his arms. I’ve never felt so loved and so cherished by another soul than I do right now. And that’s why I whisper against his lips, “I love you, Riot Blu. I always have, I always will. And I’ve been waiting for you, too.”
I reach down between us and unfasten his belt. The fly of his jeans comes next, and then I’m teasing the edge of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I shift off his lap so I’m sitting on my knees between his legs. And with my heart pounding in my throat and my mouth watering, I grip the edge and pull them down, freeing his cock.
He’s so fucking beautiful. Even with only the glow of moonlight and the television to illuminate the room, his dick is quite possibly the prettiest penis in existence. Riot has always taken good care of himself and groomed, even as a teenage boy, but it’s not only that. His substantial length is thick and velvety smooth. Veins snake up his shaft like vines, merging to a plump, rose-petal soft head. A heavy sac rests below, swollen with vigor.
Riot has the kind of dick that you don’t just suck. You savor. You lick him slowly from root to tip. You tease the tip, driving him wild, and when he begins to squirm, you cover it with your mouth as far as you can possibly take him. And when your throat can’t take him all, you stroke at the base with the other hand massaging his sac, ensuring that every part of him is pleasured. And that’s precisely what I do. Not because it’s expected. Not because I’m hoping he’ll return the favor. Because I want to. I want to love his entire body with mine. And as I hum my approval, sending shockwaves that vibrate through to his belly, I taste the first sweet and salty drops of him on my tongue, which only makes me want him more.
“God, baby… Fuck,” he groans. He pants like he’s trying to hold on. I add pressure to his underside with the flat of my tongue, and his hips nearly buck off the couch. “If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, you gotta stop. Oooh, shit. Aw, fuck, Rox. Baby, you gotta stop.”
I couldn’t stop even if I tried. I’m addicted to his taste. He grips my hair tighter as if it will deter me, and I stroke his base faster, quickening my rhythm. His ass flexes as he moves to meet my greedy sucks, chasing his climax despite his pleas. Then when his breath breaks on an anguished moan, his movements stutter, his back goes stiff and his hips are suspended mid pump as I devour each drop of his hot surrender and let it scorch its way down my throat.
I don’t stop licking and laving, but I don’t torture him either. I ease my pressure around his still hard cock and let the tingles of release subside while his heart rate slows. But Riot isn’t nearly done with me yet. He claims my mouth, tasting the remnants of his seed, while his fingers work on the button of my jeans.
“What are you doing?” I ask when he eases me back so he can relieve me of my pants. My panties go flying across the room next without preamble. Then he eye fucks me like a starving man before a meal. I shiver, not from a chill running over my skin. But at the promise in his molten glare.
Riot is a man possessed. His words may have been sweet before, but this is the face of a man who knows how to shatter a woman with just the flick of his skilled fingers. I suck in a breath of courage and push myself up onto my hands. I’m so anxious to touch him. I’ve waited long enough.
He takes my mouth as I push him back so that he’s in an upright seated position. His dick is still rock hard between us and I cover it with my palm, prepping it, feeling it grow even longer still. I straddle his hips just as he leans forward to suck a nipple into his mouth. Then I rub the tip of his thick head over my swollen clit before positioning him at my slick entrance, pausing only to look him in the eyes as we both hold our breaths as I lower my body onto his.
We gasp in unison at the initial stretch of delicate flesh, shocked at the way my body
grows even wetter as if it remembers him. It burns as my walls adjust to his girth, but they quickly contract, almost sucking him in deeper. I don’t even have to move yet. I’m already trembling wildly around him. And once I’m fully seated on him and my aching clit touches his pubic bone, I break apart in violent spasms that steal my breath and seize my hips so I can’t even move.
I come. In less than thirty seconds.
Riot holds me close, brushes my hair from my face, and kisses my forehead. “You ok?” he mutters. I can hear the confusion in his voice.
I bury my face in the crook of his neck. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
He laughs, and I swear, I can feel it travel up into me, drawing out the orgasm. “For what?”
“I just…oh my God. I can’t believe I just did that. I’m so embarrassed. Is this what it feels like for guys? I swear, that’s never happened to me before.”
“S’all good, baby. It happens. Well, not to me, but…”
“Oh my God, I’ll never be able to look at you again!”
“Hey.” He lifts my chin and forces me to face him. “You don’t think it makes me feel like a motherfuckin’ stud to make you come like that? I love you, Rox. I’m glad I can please you; that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. But I gotta warn you: I’m not done yet.”
My eyes go wide. “You’re not?”
“Hell no. Not even close.”
He grips my hips and before I can utter a word in response, he rolls my hips in time with his.
“Shit, baby. You feel so fucking good.”
Another stroke and we both moan.
“No,” I rasp. “We feel good together.”
I slide up and down, forward and back, in a lazy rhythm so we can savor every bit of each other. He feels amazing, and the sounds he’s making—hissing and groaning between kissing my neck and sucking my breasts—are all the motivation I need to go harder, faster. I tighten my walls around him and pick up the tempo. He shudders.
“Rox.” He palms my ass and squeezes. “Baby, you…fuck. Hell yes.”
Faster now. I put my elbows on his shoulders to keep balance and I slide up and down on his thick pole. He thrusts upwards, ensuring he gets as deep as he can go. I’m losing control. He’s hitting every spot and stimulating every button. He feels too good and… shit…not again. Not again.
Just as I feel the heat in my belly begin to grow, he stands, taking me with him. I’m holding on to his neck and shoulders and he keeps bouncing me up and down on his dick. I don’t even realize he’s crossing the room until his knees hit the foot of his bed and he lays me down.
He pulls out and commands, “Turn over.”
I do what he says, flipping onto my stomach. Then I feel his hands kneading my ass, his fingers grazing down the middle.
“You ever been fucked in the ass before?” he grits, his voice almost menacing. I shake my head. “Good. I’m going to take that too. Later.”
He lifts my hips then reaches one hand between my legs to rub my clit. I moan and mewl, reflexively bucking back. Then he dips his head down to cover my sex with his hot mouth, and I lose all control while Riot fucks me with his tongue. When I come, he doesn’t stop. If anything, he becomes hungrier, fervently lapping up every drop. Even when I’m lightheaded and near tears of ecstasy, he devours me from behind like it’s his last meal.
“I told you I’ve had the ghost of you on my tongue for the past twelve years,” he says. I peer over my shoulder just in time to see him lick his chops. “But there’s nothing like the real thing.”
“You’re terrible,” I pant, still catching my breath.
“Stay with me and you’ll see just how terrible I can be. Because your pussy will be on my mouth every…” He positions himself with one hand. “Single…” He grips my hip and pulls me back. “Day.” He fills me in one hard thrust that makes me cry out and tear at the comforter.
Even through the slight jolt of pain, there is so much pleasure, and my cries morph into moans. I buck back, daring him to take what’s his. Coaxing him to fuck me like no other man has. He slaps my ass hard enough to make me yelp and snatches my hair, gripping it as he rides me deep and hard like he both worships me and hates my fucking guts. Another slap and I bear down on his dick, challenging him to do it again. Even as my arms tremble through another orgasm and I’m on the verge of collapse, I stay upright. I’m not conceding until he does.
Riot makes a pained sound as he swells inside me, dangling dangerously over the edge of release. He thrusts hard, burying himself to the hilt so that I feel him in my belly. Spasms rip through his body, but he keeps hold of my hips, emptying his seed into my womb until I am utterly full of him.
He lies beside me, both of us spent and sweaty. Riot rolls onto his side while I stay on my stomach. I don’t think I could move if he paid me.
“That was…different than I remember,” a lazy grin painted on his face.
“Yeah. I guess we weren’t quite at the ass slapping phase of our relationship back then.”
He digs his teeth into his lip. “Are you upset that I didn’t use a condom?”
I take a beat to inwardly chastise myself. Fuck. How could I be so stupid? I know better and every other time in my life, I do better. And while the thought did cross my mind, I was that standard cliché—I got caught up in the moment. I’m just surprised that he was thinking about it too.
“Should I be?”
He reaches over to brush a damp curl from my sweaty brow. “Other than you, I’ve never had unprotected sex.”
“What?”
“Yeah. Shit, I’ve never had sex with anyone who didn’t sign an NDA. I can’t risk any slip-ups. I want to have kids one day, but not like that. Not with some nameless, faceless chick with a turkey baster in her purse.”
“A turkey baster? You’re kidding.”
He shakes his head. “You’d be surprised. I legit have to douse condoms in bleach before I flush them, just in case they’ve got plumbers on standby.”
I make a sound that’s a cross between a chuckle and a yawn. Three orgasms. I don’t even know how I’m not in a coma.
“Come on. Let me put you to bed.”
I try to sit up and slide off the bed, but Riot stops me. “What are you doing?”
I frown. “Getting my clothes so I can go downstairs. I can’t run through your apartment butt ass naked.”
“Why would you go downstairs? I want you in my bed, Rox. You’re not going anywhere.”
“And if I say no?”
“Then I guess I’m sleeping downstairs with you then,” he smirks.
He tucks me into his bed. He even goes to the bathroom to grab a warm, wet washcloth so he can clean between my legs. Then he climbs in bed and holds me, his front to my back.
“I didn’t wear a condom because I trust you, Rox,” he breathes into my hair, his voice sleepy. “And that one day when I want to have kids? I want to have them with you.”
And I cry silent tears into the pillow until we both fall asleep.
I WAKE UP MOANING WITH Riot’s head between my legs. When I look down my body, my eyes still hazy with sleep, he lifts his chin and smiles.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I reply, my voice hoarse. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Enjoying my breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day, you know.”
He gets back to making a meal of me and doesn’t stop until I’m gripping the sheets and shouting his name into the pillow.
“You don’t have to do that, you know,” he points out once he’s had his fill. He licks me off his lips. “Soundproof walls.”
“Are they truly soundproof though?”
He shrugs. “I guess we’ll find out. There are about a dozen people downstairs.”
“Oh, shit!” I cover my face and a red blush creeps up my neck. I wasn’t exactly quiet last night, but no one was here. At least, I don’t think there was.
“Baby,” Riot chuckles, pulling my hands from
my face. “It’s cool. No one can hear us. I promise.”
Just because the universe likes to scare the shit out of me, there’s a buzz at the door, like an intercom. Riot picks up a phone beside his bed. I duck under the covers as if it’ll do any good.
“Yeah? Ok…Yeah. Sounds good…thanks. I’ll be down in a minute.”
He hangs up and I push down the covers.
“Who was that?”
“Kaz,” he answers. The very sound of his name makes the blood drain from my face.
“Yeah? Um…what did he want?” And does he know I’m up here?
“Heidi is on her way. Some bullshit rumors that require damage control, probably. I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just want to stay in this room with you for the rest of the day.” He nuzzles my neck and kisses my shoulder. “Let me take care of this real quick and then we’ll go out and do something, just the two of us. Maybe even go see DeDe if we can get out of the city. Cool?”
I smile and nod. “Cool.”
He gets to his feet and I notice he’s already groomed and dressed for the day. Probably already had a workout. Me, on the other hand, I got more cardio last night than I usually get in a month.
“Take a bubble bath, watch some TV. I’ll bring up some coffee and food for you. I think Dani’s making fresh cinnamon rolls.”
“You’re really not going to be able to get rid of me if you keep this up,” I beam.
Riot leans over to leave a kiss on my lips. “That’s the plan.”
Once the doors shut behind him, I force myself out of his comfortable bed. A bath sounds divine, especially since I’m probably covered with more spoog than a Dutch call girl. Some hot water, body oils, and soap, and I’ll feel like a new woman. And, hopefully, it’ll wash away some of the anxiety that has been plaguing me since last night.
He loves me.
He wants to be with me.
He wants to have babies with me.
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