Love Is Overdue

by Natalie Myrie

  When we stopped in front of an ice cream stand, Ben was still in mid-conversation with a couple that had approached us, and Sophie started pulling on his leg, trying to get his attention. I could tell the conversation wasn’t winding down yet so I motioned with my eyes to him that I would take Sophie over and buy her an ice cream cone.

  As we waited in line and Sophie was thinking out loud on what flavour she wanted, I spotted Angela making her way through the crowds, looking as perfectly put together as always, wearing a royal blue halter dress and some pointy-toed flats, her gorgeous red hair glowing in the sunlight in that messy side-braid she pulled off so casually.

  I glanced back at Ben, who was still standing not more than twenty feet away, still in mid-sentence. I wondered to myself if he’d also noticed her coming. But then I realized I should have been more concerned with Sophie noticing her because all of a sudden I heard her calling out at the top of her lungs.

  “Angie! Angie! Over here!”

  She looked back over at me then. “That’s my aunty – in the blue dress!”

  Step-mother turned aunty, I thought to myself.

  Angela saw her then and smiled and waved. I could tell she was holding back, not sure whether to approach once she saw me with Sophie.

  “Can I go say hi to her?” Sophie asked me then.

  “Ah...” I didn’t know what to say. “I think you should wait for your Daddy, sweetie.”

  “Okay, I’ll go ask him!”

  And then, just like that, she darted back over to where Ben was standing, and began pulling on his leg again. This time she got his attention and I followed his eyes then from her over to where Angela was standing with a few girlfriends. He looked back at Sophie and seemed to give her a the okay and I watched her bounce over to where she was standing and watched the two of them embrace, and then just leap into some heated conversation.

  When I glanced back at Ben again, I noticed his eyes on the two of them as well, but then just as quickly watched as he excused himself from the couple he was talking to and slowly make his way over to where I was standing, keeping his one eye on Sophie and Angela the whole way.

  “You lost my kid,” he teased me, as soon as he joined me in line.

  I smiled, apologetically. “Yeah, sorry about that. She bolted.” I nodded in the direction of the two of them. “They still pretty tight, huh?”

  Ben just shrugged, giving me that cute raise of his eyebrows. “I guess so...My brother and my father are business partners. Sophie spends a lot of time with her grandparents so...”

  “I ran into your brother and your baby-mama earlier too,” I admitted, both of us still keeping our eyes out for Sophie. “This place is crawlin’ with your peeps, Benjamin,” I teased, hoping to lighten the mood.

  He sucked his teeth at that. “Fi real...like one big, bad, awkward family reunion...” His voice trailed off as we both noticed Angela and Sophie making their way back over to us.

  “Daddy! Angie says Winston and Sam are playing over on the hill with Grandpa – can we go? Can we?” Sophie was jumping up and down, excitedly.

  Angela’s eyes danced between the two of us for a moment. “I can take her over for you if you like,” she offered, addressing Ben directly. “I don’t mind.”

  Ben hesitated, but only briefly. “What ‘bout your ice cream, Sophie?” he asked his daughter instead.

  “Oh yeah!” Sophie said then, as if she was just remembering.

  We had reached the front of the line so I quickly motioned Sophie over and told Ben quickly that I would take care of it, so as Sophie and I turned to the counter to place our order, the conversation from behind me still rang out clear as day.

  Angela was the first to speak. “Sorry, it’s just...you know Sophie doesn’t get much time to see her cousins, I wasn’t trying to interrupt anything.”

  “It’s all right,” Ben answered unenthusiastically.

  “Yeah. All right. Whatever, Ben...”

  He sucked his teeth at that. “What that mean, Angie?”

  “Nothing. I just wish you would stop avoiding everyone because of me and Ivan.” I could tell she was trying to lower her voice.

  “I’m a busy man, you know that.”

  “Seriously. The whole family is over there chilling, havin’ a nice time...”

  “Whose family is that?” I could tell Ben was now trying to lower his voice as well.

  “Sophie’s.”

  He didn’t say anything to that right away. I paid and passed Sophie her ice cream cone. Chocolate-vanilla swirl with sprinkles.

  “You know...” I decided to stall, grabbing some napkins for Sophie as I heard Ben’s voice again. “I had all but ten minutes with my daughter now in over a week so...you know...as much as I appreciate you offerin’ to take her off my hands to go off and play on da hill with the family –” he stressed the word deliberately, “I think I’m good. So. I’ll bring her over there on my own time.” Slight pause. Sophie took a big lick off her giant cone. “We good?”

  “No, not really...” I heard Angela sigh. “Hey Sophie!” She called her over then, and Sophie turned around, concentrating on her cone. “I’m a see you later, okay?” She smiled that beautiful smile of hers. “Have fun with your daddy, and...” She glanced over at me then but I couldn’t quite read her expression. “Gabriela,” she finished.

  I turned to look at Ben as Angela left and noticed him watching her walk away for a few moments longer than seemed necessary.

  Ω

  We spent the next hour or so cruising the festival grounds together. Just watching Ben and his daughter together gave me a permanent flutter in my tummy. I had never known my father, but I’d always imagined what a father was – and seeing Ben with Sophie was like an act out of every fantasy I’d ever had running through my head since childhood. Caring and strong and protective – yet so playful and funny. The two of them were constantly cracking each other up. And Sophie talked a mile a minute, asking Ben question after question on any random topic that popped into her head. He had so much patience with her, but in a way that made it seem that it hadn’t even occurred to him that he needed it.

  Eventually we sat down on the grass on the far side of the hill overlooking the main-stage. Sophie was jumping and skipping and dancing to the music and every now and then would come up behind Ben, wrap her arms around his shoulders and ask him silly questions.

  “You’re really good with her.” I made the observation while Sophie was a few feet away again, in her own little world.

  Ben glanced over at me. “Yeah, well...she’s pretty easy, and...” His voice trailed off.

  “What?” I was curious.

  “I don’t get to see her much, you know that.”

  I realized then that the topic hit a sore spot with Ben, in more ways than I previously noticed. “Why is that?”

  He sighed. “Because I work a lot. Because Maria thinks I have no time for her.” He sucked his teeth. “The list goes on and on, Gabriela.”

  “But...why?” I was confused.

  “Why you think? I don’t work a nine to five. I make a hell of a lot of money and I pay for fucking everything, but...that’s the trade-off.” He glanced over at me again. “I used to have her with me at the restaurant a lot, when she was younger...seem to work out fine for us, y’know, there always be someone or somethin’ to keep her busy – she used to love it – but Maria put a stop to that too...she would say why should Sophie be runnin’ around in a restaurant every night and stayin’ up all hours and alla that when she could just be home with her? So I hired a nanny. Had someone stay at the house with her instead and feed her dinner and put her to bed when am not home and everything, but that just set Maria off even more, sayin’ why is some stranger raisin’ her daughter in a big empty house when she could just be at home with her...” Ben sucked his teeth, pausing. Thinking. “But in the end I just say to myself, fighting Maria ain’t worth it. I don’t want Sophie growin’ up around all that bullshit, y’know, two parents w
ho can’t get along and everything Only leverage I got left is money. So I use it.”

  “Money?” I was confused again.

  “Yeah. Now when she start gettin’ too unreasonable I just threaten to take this shit to court and it shuts her right up,” he said simply. “‘Cause Maria knows if I did that she’d lose a lot.”

  “Lose what?”

  “Money,” Ben told me. “I pay Maria a lot more than I would ever be legally obligated to.”

  I thought about that. Considered it. “Why do you?”

  Ben sighed. “Why wouldn’t I? Sophie is my baby – she’s all I got. Who else am I runnin’ around gettin’ rich for, besides her?”

  I smiled at that. “I see your point.”

  “And besides, Maria and – that punk she shackin’ up with – they don’t have a lot of money, but I do know she loves her daughter and they need it so... in that case, I don’t mind.”

  I was quiet for a moment, his comments sinking in fully. “I don’t know if there are a lot of men out there like you, Ben...”

  “Maybe...” Ben kind of laughed. “But that’s just how I was raised. I mean, my mother is an amazing woman, but she’s an artist – she spend her days takin’ photographs and paintin’ and watchin’ the sun set and shit...that never put clothes on our back or food on our plate and everything else...my father always sustain alla us, y’know, even from thousands of miles away, that’s just the kinda man he is...”

  The concept was so foreign to me, it was hard to grasp.

  I met his eyes then, smiling back at him. “Sounds like he taught you well, Ben.”

  He watched me for a moment, then reached out and tugged on my sunglasses, so he could take a peek at my eyes. “I just take care of what’s mine. Always have, always will.”

  My tummy flipped at the thought.

  Sophie came and wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck again. “How many people fit in this park, Daddy?”

  I laughed at that but Ben didn’t hesitate. “Fifty-thousand.”

  “What??” Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

  “You sure about that?” I teased him.

  Ben just gave me a sideways glance. “Uncertainty only leads to more questions.”

  I laughed. “Yeah...we all know how much you hate answering questions.”

  Ben chuckled at that.

  “Benny!”

  We turned and saw a woman approaching us from the bottom of the hill. She was stunning – tall and slim, aside from her wide hips and round bottom – dressed simply in a yellow sleeveless sundress and matching head wrap – her dark brown complexion set off beautifully by a brilliant, white smile and deep black eyes. She looked like she’d just stepped out of the pages of Ebony magazine.

  “Hey Shonny, w’happen?” Ben called back casually, as she made her way over to us.

  “Ya people dem scouring di place for you...” Her accent was Caribbean but I couldn’t place it. “Sophie, baby, what’s good?” She held her arms wide as Sophie ran over to give her a hug.

  Ben just sucked his teeth. “My people dem...who you wah talk ‘bout, Shonny?”

  She sucked her teeth back at him. “Your mummy an’ daddy...and Neva and Rohan waitin’ on you fi come check dem and ting too, Winston askin’ for Sophie...”

  Ben sighed, leaning back on his elbows. “I know, I know...” He nodded at me. “Gabriela, this my sister, Shonelle...well, my nephews’ mother.”

  Shonelle waved it off. “Yeah, we family just the same...nice to meet you, Gabriela.” She extended her hand.

  I smiled. “Same here.”

  So this was the mother of Ivan’s sons, I realized then, as Shonelle settled down on the grass with us, stroking Sophie’s hair back, making herself comfortable.

  “How things workin’ out with Levi at the restaurant?” Shonelle changed course, asking about her son.

  Ben sighed. “I don’t know...it’s all right, I guess – but it don’t really help that he’s family, y’know, he has a bit of an entitlement complex or something...”

  Shonelle shook her head. “Him and Ivan have it out last week too.”

  Ben hesitated. “W’happen?”

  Shonelle glanced back and forth between the two of us and then over at Sophie, who was dancing around to the music coming from the main-stage again, not paying any attention to us.

  She lowered her voice. “They gettin’ married,” she admitted, reluctantly.

  I watched as Ben’s eyes went wide with shock. “What?”

  “Y’see?” Shonelle went on. “This is why you need a stop stayin’ away from everyone like you do...you didn’t know, did you?”

  Ben sucked his teeth but didn’t speak.

  “Levi didn’t tell you?” Shonelle continued then. “They flyin’ down to Jamaica in di fall – Ivan want to bring the boys and Levi refuse to go and the two of them get in dis huge fight...it was awful.” Shonelle shook her head slowly. “I don’t really know everything that go down – Levi won’t talk about it and Ivan won’t say much either.”

  Ben still didn’t speak. The silence in the air between the three of us was suddenly incredibly awkward. I had a sudden feeling come over me – like I shouldn’t be hearing what I was hearing, that maybe Ben was holding his tongue because of me. This was too much drama – my run-in with Ivan, Maria, and Angela – and what was the real reason Ben wasn’t in any hurry to head over to see his family? Was it me? I just didn’t know anymore.

  “Hey...Ben...” Shonelle reached over and tapped his leg. “Sorry fi bring dis up right now...I wasn’t thinking.” I guess she sensed exactly what I did.

  “Nah...it’s cool.” Ben dismissed it.

  I looked over at Ben, but I was unable to read his expression. He was looking out down the hill, watching Sophie.

  “Hey.” I found my voice suddenly. I wondered if the two of them even knew I was still there. “I’m gonna let you two talk...I’m gonna take a walk and look for Tasha.” I moved to get up and saw Ben glance over. Finally.

  I didn’t wait for him to say anything though. “It was nice to meet you, Shonelle.”

  “Yeah, same here.” She smiled back at me.

  And I took off down the hill, trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to do. My head was spinning. The crowd near the main-stage had filled up quite a bit – a well-known local reggae act was playing a Beres Hammond cover, the singer swaying across the stage and winding up the crowds, getting everyone moving. I pulled my phone out to text Tasha just as I felt someone brush up behind me, a hand on my waist...

  I spun around.

  “Hey.” It was Ben.

  “Oh...hey.” I caught my breath. “Where’s Sophie?”

  “Shonny watchin’ her for a minute,” he said simply. “I wasn’t runnin’ you off, baby...why you leave?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I just thought maybe you needed some privacy or something. It’s a lot to take in.”

  But Ben just sucked his teeth. “Well...” He thought for a moment. “You know what they say?”

  I was confused. “No. What do they say?”

  “Places like this...these festivals and ting...for us Caribbean people, if you bring a girl somewhere like this...it basically like takin’ her home to meet your mother, so...I shoulda warn you there was some drama that would go down.” He reached out and brushed a stray curl from my forehead. “I just wasn’t sure how much you could take...so I just tried to keep my distance from folks, but it ain’t really work out too good...”

  I couldn’t help a little smile. “I see...”

  His hand ran down my arm then, locking his fingers with mine. “C’mon, let’s go.”

  “Where we going?” I wanted to know, a little blown away by the silent message he was sending out – holding my hand like that – as we started to make our way through the crowds.

  “I need to go check my father and mi step-mom before they send out another search party.” He looked over at me. “Unless you still goin’ look for Tasha. U
p to you.”

  I smiled, my decision already made. “Nah...I’m good.” I glanced down at our hands and squeezed lightly. “This is quite a bold statement you’re makin’ here, mister.”

  He raised his eyebrows at me then. “What?” He pulled my hand up gently and brought it to his lips. “This?” He kissed my fingers softly.

  “Damn...” I let my breath out, feeling my face go flush. “Now I’m getting nervous.”

  He let out a little laugh. “Yeah, I know...am always makin’ you nervous.”

  “This is true,” I admitted, trying to ignore the looks we were getting. The women in this crowd were not shy and it was much more obvious now that I was next to Ben. “How do you handle all this attention?”

  He eyed me. “Attention?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay...I’ll just try to ignore all the ladies undressing you with their eyes as they walk by...and lookin’ at me like I’m some kind of cock-block or something...”

  Ben sucked his teeth, laughing at me. “Nah...Caribbean girls just like that – all up in your business all di time – especially when you with a white girl...am used to it.” He gave me a little suspicious look. “Why you act so shocked anyway? You been with black guys before.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “Thanks for reminding me.”

  “Ohh...” Ben laughed again. “That hurts.”

  I shrugged. “You’re hotter than my ex-boyfriends, though.”

  “Good,” he said simply, and I couldn’t help laughing. “Would hate to have one of ‘em come steal you away from me...don’t think my ego could handle it.”

  I rolled my eyes, his sarcasm not lost on me for a minute. “You’re so fucking arrogant.” I just had to say it.