Love Is Overdue

by Natalie Myrie

  “Ohhh…fuck, baby…” I contained my voice to a whisper. “Yes, just like that….Ben, just like that…”

  His tongue sped up then without warning, and I felt everything inside me convulse. I groaned again and bit my lip quickly to shut myself up, but he pulled back immediately anyway, showing me absolutely no mercy.

  “Fuck, you don’t listen, do you?” he scolded me harshly in that deep seductive voice of his.

  “Please don’t stop,” I begged, pulling my voice back to a whisper. “I’m sorry, baby…please…” I panted. “It feels too good…”

  “Hmm…” He waited, though, as if he was contemplating whether or not I deserved another chance. I felt him slide two fingers deep inside me then and I gasped, but bit my lip before I cried out, and so his tongue went back to work again, the intense warming pleasure building up again so deeply.

  “Yesss…” I could feel it again everywhere as the sensation began to spread. “Baby, I’m gonna come…” I was panting, as Ben’s mouth kept up the steady, hypnotic rhythm, giving me exactly what I needed.

  But then, without warning, my voice escaped me and I felt my whole body seize up in panic. This time Ben didn’t ease up on me, though, and so I grabbed my pillow quickly – suddenly – pressing it hard into my face as I shook, trembled and came so hard, moaning so deeply, not giving a fuck anymore…

  And so, as I recovered, I kept that pillow firmly pressed against my face, moaning and shuddering, even as I felt Ben’s lips trailing softly back up my body. I gasped as I felt his mouth latch onto my nipple and suckle me gently. I groaned again…

  A moment later Ben pulled the pillow from my face, laughing softly. “You’re so fucking crazy…” He teased me in a whisper.

  I let my breath out deeply as I stared back at him in total frustration. “Yeah, and you’re an asshole,” I shot back, only half-joking.

  He sucked his teeth at that, though, his smile fading slightly. “Nah…you don’t mean that.” He didn’t buy it for a second.

  I sighed, just staring back at him. I loved him so much it was all I could think about. It was right there again…on the tip of my tongue…

  “Ben…”

  His hand moved back down between us then, just spreading my thighs apart…and just like that I felt him enter me, filling me up, as he lowered his face down to mine, pushing up on the palms of his hands.

  “Yes, baby…”

  I moaned softly. “That feels so good,” I whispered instead.

  He kissed me so deeply, drowning me with his mouth…his tongue…and eventually I felt his face pull back. I gasped and caught my breath. He was still going so slow, just watching me. He lifted my arm up over my head to give himself room to rest his weight on his elbow, and ran his other hand back down my face again, making me shiver. It was hard to look him in the eye. It was too much…too intense…and I just didn’t trust myself anymore.

  “You’re so beautiful, Gabriela.” He whispered it so softly.

  I met his gaze then. “Oh…” I didn’t know what to say. The only thing I wanted to say as I stared back up at him was the one thing I kept forcing myself not to…

  He smiled, sucking his breath in as he pushed in a little deeper…a little harder. “Could just watch you like this all night…you got that face, y’know…” His expression turned serious again.

  “What face?” I wanted to know.

  He bit his lip then, as I felt a wave of pleasure rush through him. I could sense it. “Fuck…” He groaned softly. “The kinda face you can pick outta a crowded room…like the only thing you can see…you know that kinda face, right?” His voice was so soft. Dead serious. He ran his finger across my lip.

  I just nodded. I couldn’t speak.

  It made Ben smile again, those eyes of his just piercing through me. “Hmm…w’happen, baby? I fuck the voice right outta you, huh?” he teased me in a whisper, as I felt his cock slide in and out so slowly…but going deep, making sure I felt every inch…

  I let my breath out as I stared up at him.

  “This isn’t fucking, Ben…” My voice was so soft but I knew he heard me. And I like to think he knew what I meant.

  His eyes stayed glued to mine but he didn’t say anything to that. Instead he just slowly brought his hand up to my face, running his fingers down my cheek, tipping my head to the side so I had to look away. And then I just gasped softly as his mouth, lips and tongue began trailing tender kisses from the corner of my eye, down over my cheek bone to my ear, my jaw, my throat...going so slowly…taking his time as I trembled under the heat of his body, his hands and his mouth…savouring every touch…

  I had read a lot of books and I’d watched a lot of movies…but I’d never in my life known what the fuck they were talking about… That night Ben fucked the shit out of me while I again resorted to gagging myself with my pillow…but before he did, he made love to me. And it was the most amazing feeling I’d ever known.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Okay, so I’m confused.”

  I’d met Tony for a coffee over my lunch break, but the sun had evaded us and it was pouring rain, so we took a seat by the window inside JJ Bean, and made ourselves comfortable.

  “So am I,” I admitted, taking a little sip of my double shot of espresso. My caffeine intake had been increasing steadily over the past month.

  “So you told him you love him and he said what?” Tony liked repeating information over and over again before he dished out any advice.

  “Nothing.”

  “He didn’t say it back.”

  “No.”

  “And then what happened?”

  “He just kissed me.”

  Tony groaned. “Fuck, that’s a hard one, Gabby…”

  I sighed. “I know.”

  “I mean…” The look on Tony’s face showed the wheels were beginning to turn. “On the one hand, maybe that was his way of saying it back…maybe he thought you’d appreciate that more or something…but more likely he was just tryin’ to shut you up and change the subject.”

  I shook my head slowly and stared out the window. “I should have never said it, I mean, it’s too soon, I just…I don’t know…” My voice trailed off as the memory of that moment outside of Ben’s restaurant kept replaying itself over and over again in my head. “It hasn’t even been three months yet.”

  Tony gave me a look. “Haven’t you ever heard of love at first sight?”

  I rolled my eyes. “That’s a load of crap, Tony. I believe in lust at first sight. I believe in wanting to rip someone’s clothes off at first sight… but love? Come on…actually I probably don’t even know what love is, but with Ben, it’s like…it’s the only way I can describe how I feel, it’s all I can think about when I’m with him, Tony…I’ve never felt this way…ever.”

  Tony sighed. “Of course you haven’t…you can’t fall in love with a bunch a douchebags that treat you like a pile a garbage…although I was startin’ to worry.”

  “Thanks, Tony,” I replied dryly. “But I mean…” My voice trailed off then, my mind wandering again. “I almost think feeling the way I do wouldn’t even be possible if he didn’t also feel it – I mean, the way he looks at me, Tony, the way he listens to me and puts up with all my weirdness and this whole thing with my mom and…fuck…I mean, look at him…and look at me. I mean really.”

  Tony sucked his teeth at that. “You need to stop saying that shit. If anything, that right there is what gonna make you lose him…for real, Gabby.”

  “What?” I was confused.

  “You!” He waved his hand at me dramatically. “Talkin’ like you’re not good enough for him – a guy only gonna listen to that crap for so long before he starts believin’ it himself.” He stared me down for a minute. “Anyway, I’m sick of talkin’ about your love-life, it’s getting old. We only got forty-five minutes, remember?”

  I forced a smile. “I’m sorry, Tony.”

  And then Ben’s name popped up on my phone along with Gregory Isaacs’ “
Love Is Overdue” – the personal ring tone I had assigned to him.

  I snatched it up quickly. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Gabby, whassup?” His tone was casual, even though I could hear the noise from the kitchen loudly in the background.

  “I’m good, just havin’ lunch with Tony,” I said.

  “Awright, cool, I’ll let you go. Come check me before you go home today, okay?” he said then.

  I smiled and just ignored Tony, who was already making faces at me. “Okay, I will.”

  “Later.”

  I clicked my phone off and sighed.

  “Did you seriously make that his ringtone?” Tony wanted to know.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You’re kinda pushin’ it a bit, aren’t you?”

  “Not really. I mean, it’s not like he ever hears my phone ring when he calls me,” I pointed out. “Well, except for the other day. I couldn’t find my phone and I was just tearing up my bedroom looking for it and so he insisted on calling me so I could find it. It was pretty fucking embarrassing, we had to listen to the chorus like four times – and he just kept lookin’ at me all weird – until I found it stuffed inside my pillowcase.” I shuddered at the memory.

  Tony just groaned and shook his head. “You need help.”

  Ω

  Ben joined me on the bench outside the back door of the restaurant just after 5 o’clock. “Whassup, beautiful…”

  He had approached me from behind and I nearly jumped, but smiled back at him as he sat down next to me. “Not much…gonna get wet tryin’ to get home, though,” I sighed, staring out at the rain that was still pouring down steadily. The awning that jutted out from the building above our heads only protected us by a few feet or so.

  “You’ll live.”

  I gave him a little look. “So what time you gettin’ outta here?” I cut to the chase, since I needed to get home. Now that Ben was paying me these late night visits my efficiency at home and with my mother had improved. I was running on adrenaline.

  He reached out and took my hand casually. “That’s why I wanted to see you,” he explained. “I can’t come tonight.”

  My heart sank immediately. “Why not?”

  “Maria called me this morning. She asked me to take Sophie tonight,” he explained. “I had to go pick her up after school and now Sally is watchin’ her for a few hours but I’ll probably take off here early…”

  “That’s kinda weird,” I admitted. “For her anyway. Is she sick? Is it the baby?”

  “Maria? I don’t know. I didn’t really get into it.”

  I sighed, the disappointment far too evident on my face.

  Ben glanced over and smiled at me though and then pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll make it up to you. Don’t worry.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  He was playing with my fingers – stroking them one by one. “I’ll call you later,” he promised, and then pulled my hand up to his lips, kissing each one of my fingers quickly, teasing me. I loved it when he did that…

  “Gotta go.” He planted a quick little kiss on my forehead and then he was gone.

  Ω

  “Did I ever tell you about the time your father won 1000 reals in a cock-fight and took me to Carnival?”

  My mother was reminiscing again that evening, while I was trying to watch a movie.

  I sighed, grabbing the remote and hitting pause. “Yes, Mama. And then he claimed to have lost you in the crowd, so instead he went on a bender and blew all his money on booze and strippers, and you had to hitch-hike back to Sao Paulo, which is how you met Raoul. I know the story.” I waited for a moment to see if she would continue and when she didn’t I hit play.

  “I always wondered what would have happened if I had just waited in the square for him to return that night…”

  I rolled my eyes and hit pause again.

  “I was very hot-tempered in those days, Gabriela.”

  “You don’t say.”

  “Why don’t you get out the board? Let’s play a game before bed.”

  “I don’t feel like Scrabble tonight, Mama, I’m watching this.” I could feel my patience wearing. I was still pretty bummed about Ben not coming over. I was now just biding my time until he called me.

  “You know, your father was a gambler and a drinker but he never beat me.” She obviously wasn’t through yet.

  I glanced over at her then and set the remote down, defeated.

  “We all make our choices in life, I suppose.”

  I sighed, finally realizing how true that was.

  My mother was eyeing me. “You look stressed, Gabriela. Is it Ben?”

  “No,” I shot back, getting defensive. “Not all men are the cause of every woman’s problems.”

  She laughed at that. “If you say so.”

  I stared back at her. “You know, Mama, I don’t understand it, I really don’t. You always kept telling me how much you wanted me to find someone that really cares and loves me and treats me right and gives me all the things you never had, but now – when I finally think I may have found the one – all you do is talk shit about him and try to convince me he isn’t right for me. Why?”

  My mother just shook her head slowly, staring back at me. “I have nothing against Ben. He seems like a very good man, Gabriela, but you need to be realistic. Do you really think you can hold onto a man like that? With his money and his looks and his intelligence? I just don’t want to see you get hurt…you’re my daughter, Gabriela. You’re the most important person in the world to me.”

  I could feel the bile of my anger just rise into the back of my throat. “How dare you.”

  “Gabriela!” My mother stared back at me in shock.

  “You don’t think anything of me, Mama.” My voice was barely a whisper. I knew if I tried to speak any louder I would begin to scream at the top of my lungs. “You never have.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because it’s the truth.”

  “Gabriela, I’m just trying to protect you – that’s all I have ever tried to do!”

  “Bullshit.”

  My mother just shook her head at me. “You are as stubborn as a mule – just like my sister Raissa. Do you know that she actually thought she could be a burlesque dancer? She convinced the owner of the cabaret in town to let her perform – just one night – and she was laughed off the stage! Do you know how humiliating that was for her? I know – I have told you the story many times…”

  “Yes, Mama. Many times,” I agreed with her. “And where is Raissa now, Mama?” I spoke slowly, finally looking up to meet her eyes. “She married a doctor and moved to Rio. She spends her days sunbathing on the beach and vacations in the south of France… And where, may I ask, are you?” I fixed my eyes to hers and watched her face crumble in pain.

  I didn’t care. She fucking deserved it.

  My phone was ringing and it knocked me back into reality. I glanced at the display but I didn’t recognize the number. I stood up and bolted from the living room then, clicking my phone on only once I was half way down the hallway.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi there...I’m looking to speak with a Gabriela Pereira – did I pronounce that correctly?”

  “Speaking.” I pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and collapsed down among the dirty dinner plates that I still hadn’t cleared away.

  “My name is Courtney, I’m calling from Care One In-Home Respite Services. I understand you had filled out an application for over-night respite care for your mother Ana…”

  My ears immediately perked up. “Yes…yes, that’s right.”

  “Well, we’ve reviewed your application and we’re now able to provide you two nights a week starting this Tuesday – oh wow, I guess that’s tomorrow night…”

  I caught my breath. “Oh my god, are you serious?”

  The rest of the conversation became a blur. All I felt was a rush of relief…and the exciting thrill of falling asleep in Ben’s bed in less t
han 24 hours…

  Ω

  I awoke with a start and glanced at my clock-radio. It was after 1 am. Groggily, I reached for my phone lying on the night stand and checked the display. No missed calls. I felt a knot in my throat – an uneasiness that just wasn’t sitting right with me.

  After I had hung up with the respite agency I had sent Ben a text almost immediately.

 

  His reply came about five minutes later.

  And now this. Nearly five hours had passed and nothing. No other text. No call. Nothing. It took me another hour to fall back asleep.

  Ω

  Ben’s Escalade wasn’t in his parking stall the next morning – even by 10:30. I sat at my desk in the office, unable to think about anything else. This was so fucking stupid. I pulled out my phone.

  Send.

  My phone buzzed a few minutes later.

  I stared at the display in complete confusion. What the hell was going on with him? Ben not coming in to work?

  Send.

  Again minutes passed before I got a reply.

  I could feel that all-too-familiar sting of panic in the back of my throat. My paranoia was kicking into overdrive.

  I thought for a moment and then hit reply. Send.

  His reply again took much longer than necessary.

  I let my breath out slowly and just put my phone away.