A School for Fools

by Sasha Sokolov

  took the academician somewhere: An allusion to the interrogations, arrests, and imprisonment or labor camp sentences given to many intellectuals and scientists during Stalin’s reign of terror.

  2. NOW: THE STORIES WRITTEN ON THE VERANDA

  Now: The Stories Written on the Veranda: The second chapter of the novel, initially conceived and completed by Sokolov first, consists of realistic vignettes, written in a simple style and ranging in mood from funny to lyrical or even tragic. Many images and characters from this chapter appear in other chapters, reworked, expanded, and complicated by the narrator’s imagination and his imperfect memory.

  a small story: The word small in this sentence is important because it should not bring to mind a short story, since it is compared to the size of the moths on the veranda.

  should we have one more: A typical Russian invitation to have one more drink.

  lived and treated patients: The sentence shows the narrator’s indifference, since the story describes a trip to have an illegal abortion performed. Such abortions, usually the result of a pregnancy longer than the first trimester or the patient’s unwillingness to inform her family about the pregnancy, were performed not in a clinic or a hospital but in private homes, often by poorly qualified or unqualified individuals. They were quite common in the Soviet Union, where abortions were used as contraception and there were many documented cases of women undergoing ten or even more abortions, sometimes suffering permanent damage and being unable to bear children.

  3. SAVL

  The Boy from Urzhum: Mal’chik iz Urzhuma, a 1953 novel by Antonina Grigor’evna Golubeva, is about the childhood of Sergei Kirov. This and the following titles are “approved” reading in the Soviet school system.

  The Childhood of Tema: Detstvo Temy is an 1892 novel by Nikolai Garin (the pseudonym of Nikolai Georgievich Mikhailovsky).

  Childhood: Detstvo is a reference either to the first volume of Leo Tolstoy’s autobiographical trilogy (1852) or to the first volume of Maxim Gorky’s reminiscences (1913–1914).

  House on the Hill: Dom na gore is a 1951 novel by Aleksei Ivanovich Musatov.

  Vitia Maleev: The first part of the title of Vitia Maleev at School and at Home (Vitia Maleev v shkole i doma), a 1951 novel by Nikolai Nikolaevich Nosov.

  A man is given . . .in such a way as: A quote from Nikolai Ostrovsky’s famous social realism novel How the Steel Was Tempered (1934).

  To strive . . . a path to light: A quote from Tennyson’s poem Ulysses, combined with a quote from the 1907 German song “The Young Guard,” translated by A. Bezymensky in 1922. The combined quote was used by Veniamin Kaverin in his novel Two Captains (1939).

  the hostile whirlwinds: Vikhri vrazhdebnye is the beginning of the first line of the revolutionary song “Varsovienne” (“Warszawianka” in the original Polish) and the title of Mikhail Kalatozov’s 1953 film about the period of Felix Dzerzhinsky’s life from 1918 to 1921.

  in the orchard or in the garden: A quote from the Russian folk song “Vo sadu li, v ogorode.”

  when at our gates: A quote from the Russian folk song “Kak u nashikh u vorot.”

  ah you, entrance hall: A quote from the Russian folk song “Akh vy, seni, seni.”

  not to feel excruciating pain: The continuation of the quote from How the Steel Was Tempered.

  bayan: A chromatic button accordion developed in Russia at the beginning of the twentieth century and named for the ancient bard Boyan.

  treble clef . . . should be boiled: This is not an exact rendering of the Russian skripichnyi kliuch ne putat’s gribom skripitsa poluiadovit otvarivat’. The wordplay is based on the similarity of the words skripichnyi and skripitsa, impossible to render in English.

  squeaking steps . . . screak: The narrator makes up a word that he derives from the title of a scary folk tale: skripuchimi stupeniami. Skirluchimi, Mama. Ot slova skirly. The English translation combines squeak and creak.

  help us God not to go mad: A slightly altered quote from Aleksandr Pushkin’s 1833 poem “Ne dai mne bog soiti s uma” (“Help me God not to go mad”).

  chrysanthemums . . . finished blooming: A reference to the popular 1910 romantic song “Chrysanthemums Finished Blooming” (“Ottsveli khrizantemy”) by Nikolai Ivanovich Kharito and Vasilii Shumsky.

  two small old men . . . in a military hat: Probably a hint at common sculptural representations of Lenin and Stalin.

  Nationally Recognized . . . Special School: The characteristically pompous and senseless name given to the school echoes similar senseless names given to thousands of schools and enterprises.

  Kuzutov: The narrator misspells the name of the famous Russian general Kutuzov, the hero of the war with Napoleon and, obviously, not an army colleague of Perillo.

  answerology: The narrator’s made-up word combines razobrat’sia (to solve, to make sense) and sbornik (collection). The result is razbornik. In English translation, I combine the words answer and anthology.

  The Children of Captain Blood: The narrator mixes up the titles of Jules Verne’s The Children of Captain Grant (1867–1868) and Rafael Sabatini’s Captain Blood (1922), which was made into a film in 1935 that starred Errol Flynn.

  Bishophorse . . . smile now: The narrator changes a line from “The Song About the Captain” (“Pesnia pro kapitana”), music by Isaac Dunaevsky, lyrics by Vasily Lebedev-Kumach, written for the movie The Children of Captain Grant (1936). The original words of the chorus were “Kapitan, kapitan, ulybnites’ ” (“Captain, captain, smile”).

  like a red masculine fist: A quote from Andrei Voznesensky’s 1961 poem “Autumn in Sigulda” (“Osen’ v Sigul’de”).

  a piece by Brahms: The narrator attributes a humorous song with lyrics by V. Popov to the famous composer Brahms.

  in the orchard . . . a-walking: A quote from the folk song “Vo sadu li, v ogorode.”

  nicknamed Cafeteria: The Russian word Vodokachka (water tower) used by Sokolov in the original, created enormous problems for the translators in many languages because the transliterated word they decided to retain consisted of one additional letter, a result of spelling the Russian ch with two letters. In this translation, the name of Vodokachka was replaced by Cafeteria to remedy this deficiency and to change as little as possible in the resulting interpretation of the letters. However, the name of the teacher had to be changed from Valentina Dmitrievna Kaln to Catherine Fedorovna Taln.

  4. “SCREAK”

  follytics: In Russian, the narrator creates the nonsensical neologism kalitika out of two words, the expected politika (politics, policy) and the unexpected kalika (wandering cripple) or kalitka (gate). In English translation, a combination of folly and politics (closely related by sound) reproduces this mix.

  the deaf will hear: Isaiah 29:18.

  Repin: A reference to Ilia Efimovich Repin (1844–1930), one of the most famous Russian artists of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. After he finished his last enormous canvas in 1904, a group portrait of the members of the State Council, his right hand started to atrophy, and even though he taught himself to paint with his left hand and continued to work almost to the day he died, he never created masterpieces equal to his early works.

  at school and at home: A reference to the second part of the title of Nosov’s novel Vitia Maleev at School and at Home.

  across the river and into the trees: The title of Ernest Hemingway’s 1950 novel.

  two compromising scholars: The narrator makes a slip of the tongue; trying to say two promising scholars (dva uchenykh, podaiushchikh nadezhdy), he says two scholars handling clothes (dva uchenykh, podaiushchikh odezhdy); to create a similar slip, in English promising is changed to compromising.

  by the comforting smoke of the fires: A reference to Aleksandr Griboedov’s 1823 play, Woe from Wit (Gore ot uma).

  a ship of the Beagle type: A reference to Charles Darwin’s ship.

  Geese’s Feet or Holiday: Two popular kinds of Russian cakes: the Geese’s Feet consists of layers s
aturated with cognac; the Holiday is layers of nuts and chocolate.

  two kilograms of truffles: Veta asks the girl to bring two kilos of chocolate truffles, not the expensive mushrooms that are unavailable in Russia.

  everything best in me I owe to books: A quote from Maxim Gorky’s 1925 article “O knige” (“About Books”).

  Here, read it: A paraphrase of a line from Gorky’s 1915–1916 second volume of reminiscences, In the World (V liudiakh).

  And through needles . . . it was tossed: The closing lines from Konstantin Fofanov’s 1892 poem “In the Pine Grove” (“V sosnovoi roshche”).

  I was approaching the place: A quote from Aleksandr Pushkin’s 1836 novel, The Captain’s Daughter.

  When the smoke dispersed: A quote from Mikhail Lermontov’s 1841 novel, A Hero of Our Time.

  Burago: Probably a reference to a character from Nikolai Shpanov’s 1942 novel, The Secret of Professor Burago (Taina professora Burago).

  I am saying only one thing: A quote from Leo Tolstoy’s 1865–1869 novel, War and Peace, part II, chapter 3.

  Was Masha picking mushrooms: A quote from Ivan Turgenev’s 1852 collection of short stories, Notes of a Hunter.

  And I would often sound the alarm: A quote from Mikhail Lermontov’s 1828 poem “The Corsair.”

  Towards the end of a sultry afternoon: A quote from Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s 1866 novel, Crime and Punishment.

  And you’re saying: A quote from Gorky’s 1901–1902 play, The Lower Depths.

  Shine, shine, stars: A quote from the Russian folk tale “Fox and Wolf.”

  parsecs: A unit of length used in astronomy. The length of the parsec is based on the method of trigonometric parallax, one of the oldest methods for measuring the distances to stars.

  vobla: A Russian word for a Caspian roach and for various kinds of salt-cured fish. The curing takes about four weeks, two in the salty brine and two drying in the air. The finished vobla is particularly popular as a snack to be eaten with beer.

  your posh office . . . postmark: The narrator cannot find the right word (post office) and launches into a series of similar-sounding but not always related words. In Russian: kak idut dela u vas na pochve, to est’ net, na pochte, na pochtamte pochtimte pochtite pochule pochti chto.

  my fate is sealed: A quote from Pushkin’s The Captain’s Daughter.

  Dr. Zauze calls this . . . your nervous post office: To render more or less adequately the linguistic confusion of the narrator expressed in Russian as Doktor Zauze nazyvaet takoe sostoianie pripadkom na nervnoj pochve . . . ia polagaiu, tozhe khochetsia krichat’ na vashei nervnoi pochte, I allowed myself the use of the wonderful American expression “to go postal,” changing it slightly and making it very similar to the end segment of the phrase.

  cuckoo: A common name for a short passenger train connecting cities with suburban areas.

  Department of People’s Educraption: A wordplay created by the narrator mixing the words obrazovanie (education) and a neologism oborzovanie derived from a slang oborzet’ (to become rude, obnoxious), created in English by mixing education and crap.

  bathing of a red horse: Kupanie krasnogo konia, the title of a famous 1912 painting by Kuz’ma Petrov-Vodkin.

  “Boiars”: A Russian folk song.

  the Chechen’s roaming beyond the hills: A slightly altered quote from Aleksandr Pushkin’s 1820–1921 poem “Kavkazskii plennik.”

  chechotka: A Russian tap dance.

  they are knocking . . . ashes of Klaas: A reference to Charles de Coster’s 1867 novel, Till Eulenspiegel.

  5. TESTAMENT

  when my secluded . . . the ringing of your bell: A quote from Aleksandr Pushkin’s 1826 poem “To I. I. Pushchin” (“K I. I. Pushchinu”).

  Passing Ostrov . . . bottles of Clicquot: A quote from Ivan Ivanovich Pushchin’s 1858 Recollections of Pushkin (Vospominaniia o Pushkine).

  saxaul: A leafless shrub or small tree (haloxylon) that grows in the Asian steppe.

  ulalume: A reference to Edgar Allan Poe’s 1847 poem “Ulalume.”

  by the will of the pike: A reference to a popular folk tale “Emel’ia durak” (“Emelia the Fool”).

  planktons: Another example of the narrator’s slip of the tongue; instead of plans (planov), he says planktons (planktonov). This is one of the easiest translations of wordplay in the entire novel.

  Sixths or even scales from sextets: The narrator, disturbed by his mother’s affair with the maestro, offers to play for the couple when they come downstairs, sixths or even scales (seksty ili dazhe gammy). The Russian word seksty provides an obvious hint that the narrator is thinking about sex; in English, to achieve this effect, the word sextets is added.

  In Naples . . . docked Gianetta: “Gianetta” is the title of a popular song with many variants. The original song, “Bei mir bist du sheyn” (To me, you are beautiful), was written in 1932 by Sholom Secunda and Jacob Jacobs for the musical I Would if I Could. The most popular Russian variant, with lyrics that are completely different from the original (but similar to Sokolov’s variant), was written in 1940 by Pavel Handelman and bore the title “V Keiptaunskom portu” (“In the Port of Cape Town”).

  Dear formentor: Saying otstavnik, the narrator mixes nastavnik (mentor) with otstavnoi (retired); in English, a similar effect is achieved by combining the words former and mentor.

  or an elderly black man: A quote from Vladimir Maiakovsky’s 1927 poem “Nashemu iunoshestvu” (“To Our Youth”).

  A breeze fashions . . . out of dust: A quote from Federico García Lorca’s 1921–1922 “Poem of the Soleá.”

  A gale in the vale . . . in the trees: A quote from García Lorca’s 1921– 1922 poem “Bell.”

  mynoduesp: The narrator reverses the word pseudonym.

  a state of fairs: Another example of a verbal mix-up by our narrator; instead of the veshchei (things), he says leshchei (breams); in English, the wordplay is based on the similarity of the words affairs and fairs.

  fifers . . . filers of files: The series of words approximates the narrator’s zachinshchikami, vernee—zatochnikami, a tochnee—tochil’shchikami (instigators, prisoners, sharpeners).

  to hang . . . to lend a hand: By saying gde byla vozmozhnost’ nalozhit’, to est’ prilozhit’ ruki, the narrator almost makes another slip of the tongue, but he quickly corrects himself. If he said nalozhit’ ruki, he would be referring to killing either someone else or himself; however, he wants to say to assist with his hands or to sign a document, since the expression prilozhit’ ruku was a formula used in signing documents.