Heart of a Savage

by Lashanta Charles

  “They’re coming back soon, right?”

  It’s not a question and I know exactly whom he means when he says they, but I don’t answer. My time at the gym is supposed to be my distraction, but lately nothing distracts me—unless we’re counting Nico’s body. Huge distraction. Major. His forearm flexes as he reaches up and runs his hand over his cheek and chin. This just in: forearms are sexy as hell. His biceps bulge and I clench my fists. If I don’t, I’ll end up touching him and I’m pretty sure I should not be molesting him. His eyes search mine and his face finally softens.

  “My cousin passed away a year ago. I hadn’t spoken to him in years. It was stupid. I missed out on so much.”

  Could he be any more random? I keep that thought to myself and move closer to him, thoroughly surprise that he’s talking about something from his past.

  “Why hadn’t you spoken to him?”

  “My dad. When it was time to pass the crown on the family business, he chose my cousin, Kalil, over me. I know he did it so I could focus on something better. He wanted me to be a fighter. He didn’t want that life for me. I was young and dumb, so instead of taking it as the gift it was, I walked away from them both. Kalil was my best friend. He was a great guy. He died protecting his family.”

  He shakes his head, lost in his thoughts. The struggle for him to find words seems immense. The way he said family business is ominous and I want to question it, but I know he probably won’t answer.

  “What does he have to do with why you keep looking out the window?”

  He watches me for a second then smiles. Shit. Why does he have to smile?

  “You’ve been watching me?”

  “What? No! I wasn’t watching you.”

  Of course, I was watching him. He’s literally prowling around like a lion. Not that it’d take much of a reason to watch him. He doesn’t need to know that though.

  “It’s okay. You can watch me. I watch you just as much, wondering why you always wear these baggy ass clothes and hide that lovely body from me,” he says before turning back to the window.

  Does he not remember the way he acted the last time? Not that I’d even wear anything specifically for him. Ever.

  “It’s his fiancé and his brother. She had his daughter five months ago. This is the first time I’m meeting the two of them. He gave his life to save theirs,” he says.

  His back straightens and, if possible, he stands taller. Through the window, I see a woman climb from an SUV, then watch as a man emerges from the driver’s side. He makes his way to her and rests his hands on her hips before placing a kiss on her lips. She smiles up at him adoringly. I wish someone would look at me that way. I glance at Nico and am surprised to see that he’s actually looking at me. He smirks then looks back out the window. Dammit. That was in my head, right? The back door of the SUV opens and another woman climbs out. Held snugly in her arms is a wrapped bundle that’s obviously a baby. Once solidly on her feet, she looks around, taking in her surroundings. When she looks at the building a broad smile breaks out across her face.

  “Is that her?” Van asks from behind us.

  Nico grunts his agreement. Even his caveman language is appealing. I look behind me to see Jax staring open-mouthed at the newcomers.

  “Would it be disrespectful to comment on that?” he asks tipping his head in the direction of the woman carrying the baby.

  Probably so, since it’s his dead cousin’s . . . is she still his fiancé? Baby momma? Whatever she was to him, I can definitely understand why Jax asked. The girl’s best asset is clearly her ass and her walk says she knows that very well. I stare at her while trying not to be obvious. It’s painfully obvious. She doesn’t just walk, she glides. An air of confidence that I could never achieve surrounds her. Pretty soon, they’ve made their way inside and even though there’s an underlying tension, her eyes are filled with warmth as she smiles at Nico.

  “There he is!”

  The guy who drove pulls Nico into a full-blown hug. Not one of those bro hugs or the ones men do as a testimony to their manhood. This one speaks of a wealth of emotions; regret, happiness, forgiveness. They stay that way until Nico finally pulls back.

  “I’m sorry,” Nico says. “I should have been there.”

  The guy is shaking his head before Nico’s words are fully out and I finally get a good look at him. “Damn. There’s another one of them? How are there no ugly men in Nico’s circle?” A giggle from one of the women causes heat to flood my face. I said that out loud. Where the hell is my brain-to-mouth filter when I need it and why does it only malfunction around Nico?

  “I’m Jaida. This is my husband Kaeden and I think it’s some sort of requirement. They have to rate at least a 9.5 to get in,” she says, her eyes twinkling with mirth as she waves her hand in the direction of Jax and Cade then offers it to me.

  I ignore the obvious claim in her statement. He’s taken. I’ve got it. I take her offered hand and shake. “Bailey, nice to meet y’all.”

  “Oh! You’re the new fighter everyone’s been talking about? I can’t wait to see you fight!” she exclaims, her eyes widening.

  Booty chick quickly steps forward and uses a good portion of her ass to push Jaida aside.

  “This is so awesome! It’s you, The Savage Prince,” she says to Nico before looking at me. “I’ve put a lot of thought into this,” she says and the one I now know as Kaeden curses softly. “He’s not fighting or anything, but at some point they’ll have to introduce him and I know they’re going to say The Savage Prince and when they do, it’ll be freaking epic. I can already see it in my head. When they introduce you Saturday night—we’re staying til after the fight, so you have to win for this to work. I mean, I guess you could lose, but that would be pretty sucky, so win okay? – wouldn’t it be great if they called you The Savage Princess?”

  My mouth drops open in shock. I’d heard that Nico’s fight name was The Savage and since his last name is Prince, it kind of just flowed into them putting it all together. However, neither have anything to do with me . . . unless? Oh dear God no! She can’t think that Nico and I . . .? Not that anything with Nico would be bad. It would probably be astounding actually. Delightful in the best way possible, but no. Just no. I look to Nico for help, but he just smirks. I don’t get a chance to deny her or say anything to her suggestion because she’s already giving Nico her full attention.

  “I can’t believe you’re you! I’ve seen every single one of your fights. Do you think we could do an us-ie or something? The guys at the studio said I needed proof I was meeting you, since my words isn’t good enough for them. I told them you were my cousin now and they still didn’t believe me. I should really think about surrounding myself with better people because it’s ridiculous now that I’m thinking about it. I mean, I’m their boss, right? And, of course you would take a picture with me. I’m your cousin and you’re you, The Savage freaking Prince.”

  She’s effortlessly holding onto the baby and pulling her phone from the bag on her shoulder.

  “Mak, what did we talk about in the car?” Kaeden asks cutting her off mid-sentence.

  “What?” she questions with a look of pure innocence. “No, no, no! You said no fan-girling. This is totally not fan-girling.”

  “This is definitely fan-girling. This is you fan-girling your ass off and it’s fucking embarrassing. Cut it out, right now.”

  I can’t help smiling as she sidles up to Nico, pulls his arms around her shoulders, and snaps away without giving Kaeden a second thought or disturbing the sleeping baby.

  “You knew she was going to do this. She talked about both of them nonstop on the drive from the airport,” Jaida says.

  “Fuck my life. Nico meet Makynzee. At this point go ahead and call her Mak, obviously y’all are cousins,” he says with a hand gesture in their general direction, where Mak is still clicking pictures.

  When she’s done with him she takes just as many with me then pulls all the guys in for one. All the while she’s
holding the baby securely against her chest, refusing to let anyone take her.

  “This is so freaking awesome,” she says when she finally looks back to Nico. Sadness enters her eyes and she forces a smile. “He didn’t talk about you, but he never missed a fight. He never missed anything that involved you. I thought he had a man crush, and it was really confusing for a while, but had I known who you really were to him I’d have made y’all make up. Life’s too short for grudges, so this family doesn’t do them.” She glances back at Kaeden then looks back to Nico. “Penis move on your part, too. That was no excuse for you to shut him off like you did. Luckily for you I’m so forgiving. Would you like to meet Phoenix?” she asks before glancing down at the baby.

  She just said ‘penis.’ Nico swallows roughly and blinks a few times before nodding his head. Mak gives him a dazzling smile and carefully unwraps the baby’s blankets. Piece by piece she’s slowly revealed: a head full of curly black hair, chubby cheeks covered in beautiful chocolate skin, and the rest of her buried within a swathe of purple fabric. When she’s fully revealed, she lets out a wail at her warmth being disturbed. Mak coos at her and makes a soft clucking sound until she calms, then gingerly places her into Nico’s waiting arms. Phoenix jerks her arms and legs in agitation a few times before looking up at Nico. Breathtaking green eyes blink sleepily at him before she gives him a gummy smile and promptly falls back asleep.

  “Breast milk,” Kaeden says as though it explains everything.

  “Kalil never told me, but I know it was you who found me after I was kidnapped. I know it wasn’t his friend, Santiago. I know I owe you my life and for that I will forever be grateful,” Mak says.

  Nico’s head snaps up, attention pulled away from the bundle in his arms.

  “Fucking shit, Mak! What was the purpose of me telling you the list of shit not to say if you’re still just going to blurt it out the minute we get here? Literally, it’s only been minutes since we got here!” Kaeden says.

  His attempt at being firm falls short and it’s obvious Mak gets away with a lot when it comes to him.

  “I know I’m not supposed to know. I know Kalil wasn’t supposed to either, but Kaeden said Kalil found out afterwards and Kaeden told me because we were coming to meet you and I see no reason to hide it,” she says.

  Nico looks torn. He wants to be angry that this secret is somehow out, but he also looks as though a weight has been lifted from him. He tries to clear his throat, but can’t seem to get it. Instead of speaking, he nods his head, cradles Phoenix closer, and forces a smile. He even makes holding a baby look hot and my traitorous ovaries are break dancing all over the place in joy. Unruly bitches.

  “I bet they never told you about the time Kalil drank spoiled chocolate milk and ended up shitting his pants before we could make it home,” he says.

  Mak’s eyes go wide as Kaeden says something about breaking a code and him having to defend his brother’s honor.

  “Sweetie, I’ve seen you fight and I’ve seen him fight. I like your pretty face just the way it is, so how about we just keep it that way,” Jaida chimes in.

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, sweetie,” he deadpans.

  “Tell me everything,” Mak says, nearly bouncing with excitement.

  Her love for Kalil is obvious as the day wears on. She constantly says how much he would have loved something or how he would have done things just as Nico has. He’s gone, but not forgotten. Every other sentence out of her mouth is about him. You’d think it would get repetitive after a while, but it doesn’t. He gave his life to save hers and his unborn child. I don’t know anyone who would make that sacrifice. Especially not for me. Definitely not Connor. It’s amazing seeing her eyes light up each time she mentions him and I do mean each time. I love that his daughter will be raised with the memory of him. It sparks deep within me that after everything she’s been through—hearing her story was an emotional butchery—she’s still able to love so freely. I wish I had her strength, her resilience. I wish I had half the spirit she has. I don’t though. And what little I do have left is solely for my child. With Connor, I feel it all drain away each day I spend in his presence. Soon, there’ll be nothing left at all. My hand drifts to my arm and I rub the spot where the implant used to be. Very soon. Nothing at all.

  FIGHT NIGHT. EVEN when I’m not on the ticket, that rush from the thought of the challenge gets my blood pumping. I didn’t think the turn out would be so good, but after we did the promos for Bailey, tickets sold out. People are anxious to see what the prodigy of legends can do. That doesn’t mean they think she’s a sure thing, though. The odds are stacked against her 4:1. Fuckers. I made sure to tell everyone to leave that part out though. I thought she’d be nervous. I expected that jumpy, timid little mouse that first showed up. What I didn’t expect was someone fully engrossed in a Kindle while curled up on a chair in my office. She’s not even in her changing room – the one I set aside specifically for her to hide out in. When I went to check on her, I found two of the other female fighters. I was told she saw them standing outside the locker rooms because they didn’t want to change with their opponents in the same room and she offered up her private room to them. Needless to say, she has a lot more supporters than she started with. I shouldn’t have been surprised though. She’s just sweet like that. Something tells me she’d give her last if she knew it’d make someone more comfortable. And from what I’ve seen of her actions so far, no matter how small, she never wants to see anyone suffer. As much as I find that endearing, it also creates a problem for me. Some people see kindness like that as a weakness and I take offense to anyone thinking she’s weak. It creates in me, this powerful, intense need to protect her – a primal and soul-deep drive to keep her safe. I struggle with this need because I know that too much of it could also make her seem weak. I’ve spent half the night considering cancelling her fight, because, while I believe in her and know her skills, the thought of her getting hit puts me on edge and I have no idea what the fuck to do about any of these feelings. I pick my way through Van, Jax, East, Law, and Cade to get to the couch she’s on. Briefly, I wonder why they’re all here. She’s got one hell of an entourage going on. I guess I wouldn’t be nervous either. Nothing or no one could get to her right now unless she wanted it to. Just before I sit next to her, Jax stretches his leg out and blocks me. It’s then that I notice she has headphones on and hasn’t looked up from her Kindle to even notice me.

  “Can we help you?” Jax asks.

  “You can start by moving that leg unless you want me to take it from you.”

  “I’ve been reading this book Bay told me about. It’s supposed to be about finding your center or some shit. You’re a textbook case of violent tendencies and anger management,” East pipes in.

  “Violent tendencies is a character trait, not a diagnoses, idiot,” Cade says.

  East sulks back into his chair and mumbles something I don’t catch. I glance around and see that, like her, they’re all reading something on either a tablet or a phone. At least she’s a good influence on them. Jax still hasn’t moved his leg though and those violent tendencies are about to boil over.

  “Hey.”

  My attention jumps back to Bailey and she’s smiling shyly.

  “Hey. You ready?” I say.

  She nods then tilts her head sideways as she looks at Jax’s leg.

  “Jax, sweetie, could you make room for Nico, please?”

  He glares at me and slowly moves his leg away. Really?

  “Thank you. You’re such a sweetheart.”

  His glare drops and he smiles at her. I shake my head and lower into the seat next to her. So much for a good influence. She’s corrupting my best friends.

  “Why does it smell like candy in here?” I ask.

  I sniff the air again and get a hint of . . .raspberries? Cinnamon? Everyone is suddenly engrossed in their electronics and pretending to not have heard me. Immediately, I know what’s happened and why they’re all in here wi
th her.

  “Oh, come on!” I say. “The night of the fucking fight?” Still no answer. I get up and start searching for evidence. I know she’s baked something and I know they were trying to sneak and eat it without me knowing. East and Law make quick escapes, claiming to go check the crowd. When Jax moves to follow them, crumbs fall from his shirt to the floor. The floor right in front of where he didn’t want me to sit.

  “Cadent is an infant and he’s a better eater than you,” Cade says as he shakes his head.

  I squat and look under the couch. Four containers are hidden there. Four!

  “I told y’all not to give him any,” Van says as he storms from the room.

  I don’t buy his act. That was just his way of escaping like the other two did. Jax, accepting that he can’t make it past me to the door, sits and pulls two of the containers out. Bailey nervously chews her bottom lip while looking back and forth between Cade and me. Jax opens the containers and offers them to me before nudging Bailey.

  “Oh, right,” she says before standing. She grabs the containers and sidles up to me. “I heard cheesecake was your favorite, so I made you some. It’s Butterfinger cookie dough cheesecake bars. I guess that’s not really cheesecake, but the guys said it’s really good. And if you don’t like it, I also made some raspberry walnut crumble bars,” she blurts, words tumbling over each other. She nervously glances back at Jax who gives her a quick nod. After clearing her throat and taking a deep breath she speaks again. “I hope you like them though because I made them all for you and I wanted you to have a good snack for when you got hungry tonight,” she says.

  She finally peeks up at me after she stops speaking and the reprimand I had in mind floats away. What the fuck is wrong with me? I know I’m being manipulated. I know they put her up to this so they could eat without feeling guilty. Yet, I don’t care. All I care about is getting that vulnerable look off her face and making it so there’s no question that I’m glad she made these for me. Fuck my diet and anything else that would keep me from making her happy. Try as I might, this attraction to her isn’t going away. It’s only getting stringer. The more I let myself be open to it, the harder it becomes to tell her no. If that means I have to run an extra five miles during training Monday, so be it. I grab two of the cheesecake bars and one of the raspberry. “Thank you.”