WIFE BY AGREEMENT

by Lauren Repeta

  'You're so beautiful,' he breathed thickly.

  Hannah was inclined to let this gross misinterpretation of the truth pass—besides, Ethan made her feel beautiful. He made her feel desirable and womanly.

  With great care, he parted her thighs. The touch of his hands on her skin made an imprint that went soul-deep. She belonged to this man; she needed to belong to bun.

  'I was going to say it was outside my control, but that's not true.' Like a man being torn in more than one direction, his tortured eyes continued to roam over her body.

  'What isn't, darling?' If he didn't touch her soon she'd die. Her desire had pooled into the lower half of her body, making it almost impossible for her brain to func­tion beyond the single imperative message it was screaming. But, despite this, the strangeness in his voice penetrated her passion-fogged mind.

  'I knew you could have got pregnant. Like now, I wanted to implant my seed in you, fill you to overflow­ing.' The words emerged in a strange, disjointed stac­cato. 'It was selfish, but it overrode every logic circuit in my head. It honestly wasn't like that with Tom—we did take precautions.' He shook his head as if to chase away old, painful memories. 'I don't think you can trust me, Hannah.'

  'Why can't I trust you?' she asked gently. It was his deep distress that touched her rather than his words; she was too engrossed by the primal message that sang in her head. 'Make love to me,' she pleaded, reaching out for him.

  'Don't you understand what I'm saying?' he asked, staring at her hands. 'Part of me wanted you to be preg­nant. I wanted to see your body grow big with my child. I've never felt like this before in my life, Hannah. I took advantage of your inexperience.'

  This catalogue of imagined injuries had gone on long enough. 'Nobody of my age is that inexperienced. I knew what could happen, Ethan. You can't really knock a primitive urge which has served the human race pretty well so far. Don't confuse primal with barbarous.'

  'I didn't consider how you felt, what you needed!' he continued angrily. 'Even now...I was going to...to rav­ish you! I can't explain how basic...raw—'

  'I didn't know you felt like that too!'

  Her husky amazement cut off his soul-searching con­fessions. 'What did you say?'

  'Do you think I have ever imagined doing the things I do with you with anyone else? I'm totally shameless with you and I like it that way. And I'd love to have your baby. The doctors told me there's no reason why we can't...soon.' There was no conflict in the desire that shone out of her eyes. Ethan let out a hoarse cry.

  At last! Deprived of his touch for several minutes, she let out a cry of delight as he was upon her. He was within her too, sliding so deeply between her flexed legs that it felt as if they were one.

  Ethan retrieved his jacket from the floor and draped it over her shoulders as their sweat-slicked bodies cooled. Hannah gave a sigh of pure contentment as she snuggled against his body. She giggled as he drew the fine grey wool up over her nose.

  'Hey, are you trying to suffocate me?' she asked, pok­ing her nose over the top. The teasing smile was replaced by a serious look. He ought to look mellow and relaxed, but she could still see the tension in his lean body. 'I hope the door was locked.'

  'Nobody's going to risk disturbing me today.'

  'Been a mite tetchy, have you?' she teased lightly.

  I’ve scandalised the whole building by telling a High Court Judge that I'm too busy to talk to him. I suppose you could call that tetchy.'

  'It's more impressive than yelling at the cat.'

  'Did you do that?' he asked fondly.

  'I would have if we had a cat.' She knew he had something else he wanted to tell her and she was trying to work out how to give him the opening. 'I've been jealous as hell of Catherine ever since I knew she ex­isted.' You could drive a double-decker bus through that particular opening.

  'And now?'

  'Not jealous.' She felt pity for a confused, unhappy woman. She believed that from Ethan's compulsive need to account for all the crisis points in his tragic marriage would come a lightening of the burden he'd been car­rying.

  'Catherine always wanted to be the best at everything she did—she was ambitious. I admired it, but it went deeper than simple ambition: she needed to be the best. She always enjoyed having her talent publicly recogni­sed; the medals meant a lot to her. Please believe I ac­cepted her wishes, even if I was revolted by the very notion.' His nostrils flared and she could see a pulse throbbing in his temple.

  'Of course I believe you.'

  'When it came down to it, it was her body not mine.'

  He closed his eyes and she saw the muscles in his throat work hard. 'Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut?'

  'You weren't a disinterested party, Ethan.'

  'When she accused me of using the baby to cement our relationship perhaps she was right, although I denied it at the time. We'd been drifting apart for some time. She hated being pregnant.'

  'Lots of women do, Ethan, but it's worth it in the end.'

  'It wasn't the easiest pregnancy,' he admitted, 'and Catherine hated to make concessions to her condition. I tried to coax her to do as the doctors said and that caused quite a lot of conflict. I told you when Tom was born she wouldn't touch him,' he said heavily. 'She wouldn't even look at him. She said I'd wanted him, so I could look after him. The doctor's label was post-natal de­pression, and. it would pass. She didn't live long enough to prove them right or wrong, and I didn't provide the support she needed. But I always knew that the depres­sion was only half the story. There was more to it than that.'

  'It must have been terrible—for you both,' Hannah said, tears of compassion glittering in her eyes.

  'She said I'd ruined her life—a fairly accurate con­clusion given subsequent events.'

  'You can't blame yourself for her death, Ethan. It was an accident.'

  'She was determined to act as if she'd never been pregnant, not had a baby. That's why she climbed straight back into the saddle; that's why she was racing three weeks after Tom's birth. If I hadn't forbidden her to take that injured rider's mount when Moonlight went lame, she wouldn't have. She knew the brute's reputa­tion; it was too strong for her. She just had to prove to me that I had no control over her life. I can hear her now. "You made me carry him for nine months, Ethan," she said, "but that's the last thing you make me do.'"

  'She was confused and in pain, Ethan. People hit out when they're in pain. I did.'

  'Promise me you'll never shut me out again, Hannah,' he said imperatively.

  'Never,' she agreed instantly.

  'Have you really been lusting after me since the very beginning?'

  Hannah was delighted to see the wide, rather smug grin chase the last remnants of melancholy from his face.

  'Lust had nothing to do with it,' she responded firmly.

  'Nothing?' he repeated with a pathetic spaniel ex­pression.

  'Well, maybe this much,' she relented, holding her thumb and finger a hair's breadth apart. 'The rest was a pure, elevated emotion.'

  'That's a bit of a blow.'

  'It's easy for you to joke about it, but unrequited love is no laughing matter,' she observed, as someone who'd done it and had the tee shirt.

  'It seems to me we wasted a lot of time.' He pulled her thigh over his and stroked the sensitive hollow be­hind her knee. 'I think we were meant to be together.'

  'Why, you closet romantic, you,' she cried with delight. The faint colour that drew attention to the sharp angle of his cheekbones made her smile.

  'I was just examining the facts.'

  'Of course you were.'

  'Top of my list when I interviewed for the post...'

  'Was that the one of nanny or wife?' she enquired innocently.

  'Less cheek or I'll...'

  'You'll what?' she asked huskily, tracing the outline of her lips with the tip of her tongue. She gave a con­tented sigh as he swiftly responded to her provocation with a sizzling and very satisfying kiss.

 
'I'm being deep and profound. Can't you behave for five minutes?'

  Hannah turned his wrist and glanced at his watch. 'Right, five minutes it is.'

  'I wanted a female past the age of being troubled by romantic entanglements.'

  Hannah chuckled. 'I wouldn't repeat this to your mother if I were you.'

  'It wasn't my plan,' he acknowledged. 'There were several candidates of a...certain age.'

  'You do like treading on thin ice, don't you, my love? I fully intend to be a romantically active granny. So start taking the vitamins now.'

  He grinned. 'I passed them over and gave the job to you.'

  'Then it must have been fate because it wasn't my startling good looks. I can remember exactly what I was wearing.'

  'For some reason the words "grey and shapeless" spring to mind,' he observed slyly.

  How unkind! 'Do you mind? That's my best interview suit you're talking about.'

  'When I realised you were dating that drippy...'

  'I was not dating, and he was very nice!' she ex­claimed indignantly.

  'I got pretty disturbed at the thought of you walking out. I told myself it was just because the children would miss you, but it was more than that.'

  'You're just saying what you think I want to hear!' she accused, lapping up every word.

  'Show some respect, woman, I'm baring my soul here.'

  'I thought you weren't into all this self-analysis.'

  'Do you really think I'm the sort of man who'd marry the nanny just to stop her handing in her notice? I ra­tionalised it every step of the way until I was almost convinced I was acting in everyone's best interests. I didn't want to think there might be anything else behind my desire to keep you around. Something kept telling me that I shouldn't let you go.'

  'I'm awful glad you didn't,' she sighed, gazing at him lovingly. It didn't matter to her when he'd fallen in love with her. He loved her now—that was the important thing. 'What are you doing?' she asked as he suddenly leapt up.

  He stepped into his trousers as he walked across the room and turned the dial on the wall safe. 'I'm going to have a bonfire,' he said, pulling a document out of the safe. She watched in astonishment as he picked up the heavy lighter from his desk and lit the corner of the thick paper. 'There,' he said with satisfaction as the corner caught alight. He pressed the flaming material into a metal waste-paper basket as the flame took hold.

  'Was that...?' She looked to him for confirmation.

  'Yes, the pre-nuptial agreement, all three copies. I know the symbolism is a bit clumsy, but...'

  Slipping her arms into his jacket, she walked over to him. 'You didn't have to do that, you know.'

  'I wanted to. If I trust you with my life, which I do, it follows that I trust you with everything else. It's a bit late to endow you with all my worldly goods, but I do.'

  'I'm not interested in your goods, Ethan. It's your heart I have designs on.' 'It's yours, my love,' he said instantly. His arms went around her and Hannah put her heart and soul into the tender kiss that went on and on until...

  'Is it my imagination or is it raining in here?' she asked vaguely, as his lips lifted from her own. She held out her hand and felt the definite touch of water.

  'It's real.'

  'And what's that noise?' she asked, suddenly con­scious of a strident ringing.

  'The fire alarm—the one that connects with the fire station. We had the system put in last year at great ex­pense.'

  'Does that mean the building's on fire? Shouldn't we be doing something?' She was slowly getting saturated. She lifted a hand to her wet hair. Calm in the face of a crisis was impressive, but wasn't Ethan taking it a bit far?

  'The fire, my love, is there.' He nodded in the direc­tion of the smouldering waste-paper basket.

  'Oh, my goodness!' she exclaimed, horror-struck. 'You mean you...'

  'Triggered the sprinkler and alarm system with my impromptu bonfire? Yes, I'd say you have the situation in a nutshell.'

  Hannah clasped her hands in agitation. 'We should do something.' Getting dressed wouldn't be a bad start, she thought, seeing in her imagination the door being smashed down at any minute by axe-wielding firemen. 'Don't just stand there—put a shirt on.' She stopped, her sweater half over her head. 'Are you laughing!' He was; he was actually laughing. 'Well, I'm glad you're happy. Can you imagine what people will think when they find out you—?' She broke off. The expression on his face was jubilant.

  'I don't care,' he said simply. 'I don't care what people think, and you know what? It's liberating. You're my liberation, Hannah Kemp, and I'm laughing because I'm happy. I'm happy because you're mine!'

  'What are you going to do when the fire service walks through that door?' She tried to sound severe but his frivolity was contagious.

  'Tell them to go away. This party is strictly by invi­tation only.'

  'Am I invited?' For some reason she couldn't stop grinning like an idiot.

  To share my life,' he said huskily.

  Hannah stopped grinning and began to sob.

  'My love, what's wr—?' Gulping back her tears, Hannah pressed her fingertips to his lips. 'Nothing's wrong. You just keep saying such beautiful things,' she wailed. 'And I'm so happy. It's a well-known fact...' she sniffed '.. .that a person can't cry while being kissed.

  Hannah was delighted to discover that her husband, clever man, had caught the drift of her subtle hint im­mediately.