Morgan, Nicole - Sweet Redemption [Sweet Awakenings 1] (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Неизвестный

  “No, of course it didn’t. I couldn’t even…I didn’t…I love you so much, and as soon as we got here and I saw her in my house, all I could think of was you. Of how I loved having you in my house, no one else. There was no way I could sleep with her. There was no way I would even want to.”

  She turned her face to meet his. “But you just said…”

  He got up from the floor to face her, to face the consequence of his stupidity. “I know, I told you what I intended to do. But it never happened. I literally love you too much. My body took over my anger. It wouldn’t let me betray you.”

  “I don’t understand what you’re saying, Jack.”

  She didn’t look quite as angry. Maybe he still had a chance. “The stupid man in me, the testosterone in me, was going to sleep with her. But it’s like I said, when I got here, I saw you everywhere. I couldn’t get hard. She tried…things, but it didn’t work. Nothing she did made me want to. My body shut down. I wanted you. Only you. I asked her to leave. I spent the rest of the night drinking Jack Daniels until I passed out.”

  He stared at her, waiting, for what he wasn’t sure, he didn’t know what to expect. But he’d wait. He’d wait as long as she needed him to. She walked the floor back and forth several times. He continued to wait. She didn’t know what to say yet, what to do. So he still waited, he would wait as long as it took as long as she ended up in his arms.

  “What did she try, Jack?” The words cut through the air swiftly.

  “Honey, please…” He went to her, silently pleading with her to not make him tell her. He would if he had to. But he didn’t want to put her through any more hurt. He put his hands on her shoulders and held on to her. Could he do this?

  “Tell me, Jack!” It wasn’t a request.

  “She gave me head. Is that what you want to hear? It was awful! I hated it! And you can bet that I am the first man in history to say that! I wanted you! I wanted to hold you and make love to you.” He had raised his voice a little as he forced the words out. He wasn’t angry with her, but with himself. He should have known better. It never should have happened.

  “Please, Tamara, forgive me. I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. I love you so much. You are everything to me. You have changed my life. You are like the missing piece to my soul. I never fell in love before because I never knew you before. I hate what I did, what I almost did. I hate myself for causing you pain. Please, baby, if you believe anything I’m telling you, please believe that.”

  She dropped her head into her hands and started to weep.

  Jack pulled her into his arms. She didn’t fight him. She let him hold her and comfort her. Eventually she put her arms around his waist and held onto him tightly. He held her as she cried for the longest time. No words were said. He just held her. He was afraid to break the silence. He didn’t want anything to break the connection between them at that moment. If he was holding her and she was letting him, he still had a fighting chance. Slowly, her crying became quieter, and then they were shallow sobs and finally tiny sniffles.

  She eventually looked up at him. “Damn you, Jack.”

  “Baby, I know. I’m the worst piece of shit there is. I don’t deserve to even be holding you like this. But it feels so good holding you, honey. Please don’t pull away from me.”

  “Do you have any idea how long I took to get ready for you today? I was supposed to come over here looking so beautiful you would have no choice but to love me back. And now look at me. I’m a mess!” She had pulled away from him and walked to stand in front of the mirror.

  He watched her. She was actually looking at herself and questioning her beauty. How could she? He came up behind her. He lifted her hair in his hands and pulled it over one shoulder. He bent and gently kissed, then licked and nibbled on her ear.

  “Tell me, tell me how you could ever doubt your beauty. You are the most beautiful, the sexiest, and the most desirable woman I have ever met. Don’t you know that?”

  He continued to kiss and lick the side of her neck as he worked his hands around to her breasts and began massaging and teasing her nipples through her blouse, instantly making her nipples harden. The desire she inflicted within him with the slightest touch always made him want more. She turned to him. Looking up into her eyes, he could sense the change in her. He could see passion building in the rich green color of her eyes. Could she actually still want him, still love him? He would do anything to make up for the pain he’d caused her.

  “You say you love me, Jack. Is that true? How do I know? How can I be sure? You say you couldn’t be with that woman because she wasn’t me. Maybe that’s not true. Maybe the problem was you. Maybe you just can’t get it up anymore.” Tamara wasn’t smiling as she whispered the accusation at him.

  What was she doing? Was she goading him into a fight? Was she challenging him, questioning his masculinity because she was angry? No, that wasn’t it. She wanted proof. That look in her eyes, she wanted proof that he could only make love to her and no one else. She needed to know for sure that he truly belonged to her. He took her hand and quickly placed it against his proof. His erection was bulging and painfully pressing against the zipper of his jeans. The feel of her hand cupping it was remarkable. It made him ache for her, sending heat to all of the right places, making his hunger for her that much stronger.

  “Do you feel that?” His voice was a deep, seductive whisper. “That only happens with you. Do you understand that? That happened because I kissed your ear. Do you know what it means when a woman’s ear can make a man this hard? Do you?” She stared at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to finish.

  “Well, I’ll tell you. It means that he is no longer available. It means that not only does his heart belong to someone, but that his body does as well. It means that nothing can be done to change that. No amount of anger or sadness can make his body betray the woman he loves. Do you understand that, sweetheart? Do you believe me when I tell you that no one can have me? Do you believe me when I tell you that I don’t want anyone else? Do you believe me when I tell you that I love you?”

  “Show me, Jack. I believe you love me. I believe it all. Just please show me how much you love me. Make love to me. Make the pain go away. I don’t want to feel anything but you. I love you.” She choked out the last words. She was starting to cry again. Not a deep, gut-wrenching cry, but a silent cry with tiny tears.

  His stomach dropped out from underneath him. His sweet, beautiful Tamara was forgiving him and begging him to make love to her. He didn’t know what he’d done, what he’d said, he just thanked God that he had. He pulled her into a kiss. It was tender, gentle, and undemanding. But Tamara became impatient, more insistent. She increased the intensity of the kiss and started to devour him. She wanted him now, there was no mistaking it. He did too, he wanted their bodies to connect and become one. He needed that connection now more than ever before, but he wouldn’t rush things. Not now.

  Jack stopped her. He pulled away and looked down into her eyes. “Honey, slow down. We have all night. I want to truly make love to you. We have had a lot of hot and sweaty nights together, and they were all good, but I want tonight to be different. I want to give you exactly what you asked me for. I am going to show you how much I love you. I am going to make love to you all night long. I am going to prove to you that our love is stronger than any mistake I was stupid enough to make.”

  She smiled up at him. He loved her smile.

  “Jack, I had my own plans before I came over here earlier, so could you give me a couple of minutes?”

  “Why, baby? I told you, you are beautiful.” He started to kiss her again. First her eyelids, her temples, her cheeks—God, he loved her cheeks—her jaw, the sides of her mouth, and then finally her neck.

  This time Tamara hesitated and pulled away. “I love that you think that, Jack. But I am not feeling very pretty right now. Please, just give me five minutes. Do you have any wine? I would love a glass of wine.” She smiled at him again.

&nbs
p; “Of course I do. I’ll go get you some. Five minutes? Okay. I love you, Tamara.” He kissed her again and held her. He was almost afraid to let her go. She was giving him a chance, giving them a chance. He couldn’t screw up anymore. Jack headed down the stairs, looking upward, silently thanking God for giving him this second chance.

  Chapter 15

  Where was she? Brent had been sitting inside Tamara’s apartment for two hours now. When he first got there, he banged on her door until he was fairly sure she wasn’t in. Then he entered using the copy of her new key. He’d snuck out early this morning and run to the hardware store to have it made before she woke up. There wasn’t a sign of her anywhere. Everything seemed to be in order, nothing looked out of the ordinary. Her machine was blinking with messages. By all accounts of his memory, the seven messages it showed should all be from him. How long had she been gone? He had to hurry. If she returned and found him in here, she would know that he had made a copy. That wouldn’t do if his plan was to work. He had already effectively gotten rid of the boyfriend the night before by his quick thinking.

  Walking through the apartment, he was stopped in his tracks when he noticed a smell coming from the bathroom. He walked in and could smell her lavender and hyacinth bubble bath. He saw the razor and her loofah sitting next to the tub. He knew Tamara well. She clearly had pampered herself today. Turning, he saw the expensive body butter that she used for only special occasions. But if she had pampered herself, where had she run off to? Then it hit him. She was with him. A rage built up in Brent that he hadn’t felt since New Year’s Eve.

  “Nooo!” He screamed it. He was getting her back. Why would she go back to that meathead from the gym? She belonged with him! No one else! With a violence never known by anyone who knew Brent, he took his fist and slammed it into the mirror above the sink. Pieces fell to the floor and in the sink, all to be followed by drops of his blood. His knuckles were bleeding, but he didn’t feel it. He now knew what needed to be done! He had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this, but she’d left him with no choice.

  Methodically, Brent went out to his shiny cobalt blue BMW. He calmly reached into the glove box and took out the handgun. He hadn’t used it since Katherine had tried to leave him. That was three years ago. She hadn’t learned the error of her ways. But Tamara would. She was smart. She would see things his way, or at least she’d better. He didn’t want to have to kill her, too. He hated when he had to dispose of a body. It was such a tedious and problematic task.

  Locking his prized BMW that he loved, he walked back up to Tamara’s apartment and wondered about the last time he was in this situation. He never did hear if they found the body he had buried in Saguaro National Park. Oh well, it is what it is.

  Closing the door, Brent decided to make himself a nice, stiff drink. It had helped his nerves the last time. In retrospect, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to kill Katherine if he hadn’t had a little bit of liquid courage.

  Jack walked into the room and almost dropped the wine glasses on the floor. Tamara had just yelled to him that she was ready. She had fixed her makeup—not that she needed to—and she looked so pretty. But nothing could have prepared him for what she was wearing. It was a black garter, holding up black stockings and a matching push-up bra, which emphasized her gorgeous C-cup breasts. They were all made of black satin with lace around the edges. But what really caught his eye was what she wasn’t wearing. Although he was sure that this new outfit of hers had matching panties, she certainly wasn’t wearing them. In between her thighs, she had shaved her pussy hairs into a thin line of manicured beauty.

  This was new. She had never done that before. He smiled at her. He remembered now telling her about a week ago how he found that sexy. She had done it for him. She had done it earlier today, before he even had a chance to apologize for the way he treated her. She was so amazing.

  “Do you like it? I went and picked out this outfit today, and I did the other thing today, too. I wasn’t sure if I did it right, I’ve never done that before, but my plan was to seduce you with it.”

  She wasn’t smiling at him. Her eyes were bright with passion. He knew that look in her eye, knew she was being flirtatious. “What do you think, Jack? Did I do a good job? Will I be able to seduce you?”

  He went to her. On the way, he set one of the glasses down on the dresser. When he got within a few inches of her, he said nothing, but he nodded. He took the wine glass in his hand and slowly poured a small amount on her shoulder, allowing it to spill down her breasts. He bent his head and started to lick it off. When he was satisfied with a job well done, he spoke to her.

  “Go get on that bed, Tamara. Sit on the edge of the bed, lay back.” His voice always seduced her. She did as he told her. She always loved when he took charge.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and slowly leaned backward. He walked over to her and slowly poured the wine from her neck all the way down to her pussy. He leaned over her and began to painstakingly lick every last drop that was on her body. The sensation of his tongue sliding up and down her body was already causing her body to move involuntarily. He always had a way to make her body respond in ways that she had no control over.

  She had never had a lover like Jack. She had never loved like she loved Jack. As if reading her thoughts, he brought his mouth to hers and kissed her. He whispered in her ear, telling her how much he loved her. Telling her how he would always love her. She was already on fire, and now he was making her melt.

  Leaning over her, he looked into her eyes as he brought his hand down to rub against her newly shaved pussy. He could feel her wetness already seeping out of her. “I love this. I love what you’ve done. I love that you did it for me. You are so damn sexy.”

  He started to rock his body against hers as he began to rub her clit. “You are so responsive, sweetheart. Tell me it has never been this way with anyone else. Tell me that you’re mine, that you belong to me.”

  She arched into him, loving the feel of his hands on her. “I am yours, Jack. Only yours. There has never been anyone like you, ever! Please, Jack, make love to me.”

  Her face was starting to flush. He loved how he could cause her face to become so full of life. He started to kiss her forehead, her eyes, her temples, her cheeks—her beautiful cheeks—the sides of her mouth, her neck, and finally her mouth. Just as he slid his tongue inside her mouth, he slid his fingers inside her pussy. She gasped and whimpered at the sensation it caused. Jack alternated between sliding his fingers in her pussy and rubbing her clit. He could feel the tension of her climax building. She was writhing beneath him, meeting every touch and every stroke he made.

  Just when he thought her orgasm would come, he tore away from her so quickly she looked at him with shock. Lying there hot and ready, she propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him, and then down at the bulge in his pants. He had forgotten about his clothes, but was beginning to die from the strain.

  She leaned up farther as he was watching her. He had just finished unbuttoning his shirt when she held her arms out to him. “Let me help you.”

  Jack walked to her as he threw down his shirt. She started to unbutton his jeans. She was going slowly, trying to be careful. She didn’t want to hurt him. His cock was straining against the zipper. Once she carefully got the zipper all the way down, she slowly pulled his jeans down, taking his boxers with them. His cock jutted upward as if it was on springs.

  Tamara looked up at Jack. In all the times they’d had sex in the past month, she had never once taken him in her mouth. She had wanted to several times, but he was always in charge. He was always demanding and urgent. He would thrust into her so fast and so hard there was never any foreplay. Not that she ever needed it. She had never had to fake an orgasm with Jack once. But now, she needed it. She needed to taste him. She needed to feel him fill her mouth. Looking at the pearlescent droplet that was forming on the head of his penis, she licked her lips.

  He was watching her. He knew what she was thi
nking. He hoped she wasn’t thinking it because of that other woman. He didn’t want her to think that she had to prove anything to him. As that thought entered his mind, he was startled into reality by the sensation of Tamara licking the head of his penis. She swirled her tongue around the tip of his cock and moaned.

  “Tamara, honey, you don’t have to do this.” She looked up at him with a look of surprise in her eyes.

  “Don’t you want me to do this, Jack?”

  Damn it, he had made her feel insecure. That wasn’t his Tamara. His Tamara was provocative, sexy, alluring, seductive, and confident. If she wanted to take him in her mouth, who was he to stop her? After all, he just wanted her to be happy. He grinned.

  “Honey, I would love nothing more than if you would wrap your gorgeous lips around my cock and let me rock it in and out of your sweet mouth.” She looked shocked. Her face blushed. He knew what that meant. His little nymph was getting turned on even more. “Do it, baby, please. Take me in your mouth. All the way. Show me how good your mouth feels wrapped around my cock.”

  She kept looking up at him and did just as he said. Holding and massaging the base of his throbbing erection, she wrapped her mouth around his length and started to suck him in and out of her mouth. Tamara alternated the rhythm between fast and strong sucking to slow and light licking.

  She was moaning and acting completely aroused by the effect she was having on him. He was making noises he didn’t know he was capable of. He had never surrendered control to her like this before and she seemed to be loving it.

  He put his hands in her hair and started to rock back and forth with her, matching her rhythm. He was losing himself. She picked up the pace, and he began to drive himself deep into her mouth, hitting the back of her throat with each thrust. He could feel the tension building in his body. He was getting close. Did she know what was going to happen? Had she ever done what was sure to happen if he allowed her to continue?