Love In Bloom

by Karen Rose Smith

  Vincent looked at his daughter. "I do have you in the business."

  "Yes, you do."

  "I suppose I could think about making you a partner."

  Trish gave a frustrated sound of disapproval. "I don't care about being your partner. I do care about being your daughter. Can't you see the difference, Dad?"

  He grimaced. "I'm trying." He focused his attention on Paige. "Do you always fight for people you care about?"

  "I wasn't aware I was fighting."

  Vincent smiled. "I think Clay's a lucky man." He left the room as quietly as he'd come in.

  Paige shook her head. "I don't believe I did that."

  Trish grinned. "Love makes us do crazy things. And if I didn't know it when you arrived, I know it now. You love my brother."

  Paige felt heat rise to her cheeks. "Yes, I do. But I haven't told him. I don't know if I'll be staying here."

  "Clay told me. You have a tough decision to make."

  "Did you ever want the best of both worlds?"

  "All the time. But more than anything, I've learned if I don't follow my heart, I can't be happy."

  ****

  The early-evening sun was still bright as Paige tossed her water balloon to Clay and glanced around to see who was watching the competition. It seemed most of the town had gathered for the Fourth of July. Everyone wore smiles and T-shirts and a collection of baseball caps. The softball game had taken most of the afternoon. She and Clay had gotten something to eat and decided to enter the balloon toss.

  Clay stepped a few more feet away from Paige, grinned, and carefully tossed the balloon. She held her breath as she caught it. It didn't break.

  She hadn't seen that grin of his since before her mother arrived. Even when they made love there was tension between them. She knew she was the cause.

  Trish had advised her to follow her heart. Did that mean following Clay? Standing beside him? He hadn't even said he loved her. "More than physical" didn't necessarily mean permanent. Was she ready to risk life as she knew it for a life she knew nothing about? Was she waiting for some sign, for Clay to tell her he loved her? Then what?

  Underhanded, she carefully threw the balloon back to him, the new children's immunization program planned for Zaire clicking through her head. It would save so many lives. Didn't she want to be part of it?

  Clay caught the balloon, moved back, and tossed it again. This time, when she reached for it, her fingernail stabbed it and water splashed through her hands. Luckily, most of it went on her sneakers, rather than her shorts.

  Clay came to her, smiling at the water dripping down her bare thigh. "Need a towel?"

  "It will dry. What do you want to do next?"

  "The pie-eating contest starts soon. We could head over that way."

  Paige was surprised at the amount of people who waved at them and shouted hello as they made their way across the expansive field where most of the day's events were taking place. She felt as if she belonged here, as if she'd made friends.

  As they approached the canopy shielding long tables from the sun, she saw Ben slap another teenage boy on the back as he settled himself at the table, ready to compete. A pretty girl with curly brown hair looked on.

  Ben saw them, took the girl by the hand, and met Clay and Paige at the edge of the tent. His smile was broad, his face excited. "I want you to meet someone. This is Christy Jacobs. Christy, this is Mr. Reynolds and Dr. Conrad."

  The girl smiled shyly. "It's nice to meet you."

  "Christy lives in Westminster," Ben explained. "We met at an orientation meeting up at Penn State. She's going to be going there, too."

  Clay capped Ben's shoulder. "That's great news. What are you going to study?"

  "I'm trying biology. Christy's going to be an elementary school teacher."

  Ben was beaming, and Paige could see he was looking toward the future instead of regretting the past. "I wish you both all the luck in the world. You have bright futures."

  The wide smile left Ben's face, and he became serious for the moment. "And new dreams."

  Emotion tightened Paige's throat. "You've come a long way, Ben, and I'm proud of you."

  His face flushed, but he said, "I have you two to thank."

  Rousing cheers signaled the start of the pie-eating contest. Ben said, "We have to coach Randy. I'll be surprised if he can get one pie down. We'll see you around."

  Clay put his arm around Paige's shoulders. She lay her head against his chest, and he gave her a little squeeze. "He's going to be all right."

  "You had a lot to do with that."

  Clay smiled. "So we can both pat ourselves on the back."

  "Paige?"

  Their tender moment was interrupted as Paige turned around and faced her mother. "Hi, Mom. Are you having fun?"

  Monica shrugged. "It's all very interesting. I'd forgotten what these small town get-togethers are like. I suppose you're staying for the fireworks?"

  "Yes. The band's giving a concert first. Have you taken a balloon ride?" Paige had packed her fears in her back pocket first thing this morning and had soared through the heavens with Clay. It was an experience she'd remember always. Just like everything else she'd experienced with Clay during the time she'd spent in Langley.

  "No balloon ride. I'll leave that to younger adventurers. I just wanted to tell you I'm going back to Doc's. I have some overseas calls to make and I need the quiet."

  "It might be late when I get in."

  Monica's gaze moved to Clay. "I know where you'll be."

  Paige sighed as her mother walked away. "I'm sorry if she's cool to you."

  "She thinks I'm a threat." He paused for a moment, then asked, "Am I?"

  Paige closed her eyes, so confused she couldn't think. The pull of her former life, her former dedication, her former dreams yanked against her love for Clay. She opened her eyes and stared straight ahead. "I can't answer that."

  His tone was troubled. "You have to answer it soon."

  "I know." The words came out in a whisper.

  Clay looked as if he was going to say something, but then changed his mind. "Let's go watch the kids on the rides until the band starts playing."

  Paige let the burden of deciding slip from her as Clay's green eyes embraced her. She'd been given a reprieve and she was going to take advantage of it.

  A short time later, Clay went to get them lemonade as Paige set up their lawn chairs on the football field in the area designated for the concert and fireworks.

  She'd just sat in her chair when Ron Murphy unfolded his and placed it beside her. He tipped his Stetson. "The day's turned out fine and dandy, hasn't it? We even sold out of T-shirts. The committee did a grand job."

  She smiled. "You did a great job of coordinating it."

  He set his hat farther back on his head. "I was talking to Ben Hockensmith's mom earlier. She thinks the world of you and Clay."

  "Ben's a good kid."

  Ron shifted in his chair. "She told me about Clay's amnesia."

  Uh oh. Paige had never thought about telling Ben to keep his knowledge to himself.

  "It's something, isn't it?" Ron went on. "Not being able to remember anything before his accident. It took guts for Clay to start all over here in Langley. I don't know if I could have done that."

  "Clay's a strong man."

  "Sure must be. He was always so tight-mouthed about his life before he came here. I should have suspected something, but I never would have guessed something like amnesia."

  Clay handed Paige a cup of lemonade and said to Ron, "It's not as rare as people think."

  She hadn't heard Clay walk up behind her. She didn't know what to say.

  Ron said, "I was just telling Paige, here, how I admire your gumption." He stood. "That lemonade looks awfully good. I think I'll get some before things start popping."

  Clay sat next to Paige, silent and frowning. He took a swallow of lemonade, then asked in a low voice, "Why did you tell him when you know how I feel? I thought you unde
rstood I don't want people staring at me, gossiping."

  Paige felt as if he'd slapped her. How could he think she'd betray his trust? "I didn't tell him anything."

  "Then how did he find out?"

  "Ben's mother. Apparently she's grateful for the way you helped her son."

  Paige's expression must have shown her hurt. Clay took her hand and said, "I'm sorry. I just assumed..."

  "Why? How could you possibly think I'd tell Ron?"

  "Maybe because I don't know how you feel."

  Now was the time to say it. And to see what would happen. "I love you, Clay."

  He took a deep breath. "And what does that mean?"

  "It means I don't know what to do. It means I have to give up one dream for another. It means I have to make a choice. Do you want me to stay? You haven't said it."

  "You know I do."

  "Just as you knew you could trust me to keep your confidence?"

  Clay ached inside. He longed to tell Paige he loved her. But this wasn't just a matter of love. In a way, the decision she had to make was separate from them. He couldn't make her choose between him and her life in Africa. She had to choose whether that life in Africa was best for her physical and emotional health. She had to choose whether she wanted to change her life with or without him. He could never be her world, the outlet for her dedication and compassion. She had to decide which world was better for her.

  So he couldn't tell her he loved her. He couldn't use that to sway her. They'd both regret it in the years to come. He released her hand and stared straight ahead as the band tuned their instruments.

  Paige said quietly, "Maybe instead of hiding your background, you should be proud of what you've accomplished and share that pride with others. Ron admires you, he doesn't think less of you. So does Ben. So does his mother. So do I."

  Clay had never thought about people admiring him. He'd figured the friends he'd made in Langley would react the same as friends in his past if they knew his history. But maybe he'd been wrong.

  The one thing he knew was that he'd hurt Paige and he never wanted to hurt her. But he wasn't sure how to bridge the gap he'd dug between them. He felt isolated as the band played one song after another. Darkness fell, and instead of the night bringing them closer, it seemed divisive. Even the stars and the moon couldn't work their magic. Clay remembered his date with Paige at the restaurant by the river. He wanted that closeness back. He wanted her back.

  The display of fireworks splashed the sky again and again with colors and light. Clay glanced at Paige's profile. She didn't turn to meet his gaze.

  When the last rocket flew, when the last patriotic note played, when everyone stood and folded their chairs, Clay let his sit and clasped Paige's shoulders. "Come home with me tonight."

  She was stiff under his hands. "I was going to."

  "No, I mean stay with me tonight. All night."

  She studied his face as if she didn't believe he meant it. "You're sure?"

  "I trust you, Paige. I want you with me tonight and every night until you leave, if you leave. I don't want to waste a minute of it."

  She smiled, and under the lights of the football field, her eyes grew bright and shiny. She stroked the line of his jaw. "I'd love to come home with you."

  Clay felt as if he'd just been handed a beautiful gift.

  He took Paige to his home, and this time something was different. He'd crossed a line and he hoped she'd crossed one too. They went through the ritual of letting Shep outside for his nightly run, locking the doors, turning off the downstairs lights. Then he took Paige's hand and led her upstairs.

  Wanting the anticipation to last, hoping tonight would be special for them both, he suggested, "Let's shower together."

  She smiled. "So we can conserve water?"

  "No, so we can enjoy each other in a new way."

  Her eyes became bluer, deeper, and her smiled faded away.

  He undressed her. She undressed him. He turned on the water and stepped into the tub. She stepped in beside him and pulled the shower door closed.

  Clay stepped under the spray, letting it roll over his shoulders, his chest. She traded places with him and kept her eyes on his as the pinging wet nettles skimmed her neck, her breasts.

  Excitement was more than a word. Need became a powerful magnet drawing them to each other. "I love you" was still a phrase he couldn't say. He stepped back and drew Paige away from the water, closer to him. Taking her sweet face between his hands, he kissed her gently before easing her lips apart with his tongue.

  She didn't wait for him, but met his fervor by tasting him first. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held on to him as if she never wanted to let him go.

  Her breasts rubbed his chest, her nipples hard and ready for loving. But he couldn't release her mouth, not when he didn't know if this night might be one of their last together. He caressed her back with long, slow, slick sweeps that caused her to moan. She stroked his face as they kissed, bringing every atom of his being into full alert.

  This was supposed to be a shower...lingering foreplay to prolong their pleasure. But much more of this and--

  He dragged his lips from hers. "Paige, you're not protected. We can't keep this up."

  She tightened her grasp on him. "I don't care. I want this. I want you. Now."

  Her honesty shredded his last hold on control. As she arched into him, he lifted her and slid inside. She was everything he needed, everything he wanted, maybe everything he couldn't have.

  But he had her in his arms now. Using the wall at his back as a bulwark, he thrust into her. She tightened her legs around his hips, milked him more thoroughly. As he thrust again, she nipped his neck and scraped her nails down his back.

  He shuddered and knew release was imminent. He had to hold on longer. He drove into her again and again until she was panting and giving small cries of pleasure. He shifted her slightly and when he did, she cried out, "That's it, Clay. It's so wonderful."

  He couldn't hold back. He couldn't keep from speeding toward release. He could only give and take...and hope.

  Paige shouted his name. Seconds later, he called hers. But even in the supreme ecstasy of the moment, he realized they'd solved nothing. And in a week or less, tonight might be simply a memory.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Clay awakened just after sunrise, knowing Paige would soon be awake, too. She had rounds at the hospital this morning. Last night had been nothing short of spectacular. But what would today bring?

  Paige stirred against him and opened her eyes. Tilting her head up and seeing he was awake, she smiled. "Good morning."

  "Good morning."

  She laid her hand along the side of his neck. "You didn't have a nightmare."

  "I don't have them every night."

  "I was afraid my being here might trigger something."

  "Maybe your being here, in bed beside me, chased them away." She looked so lovely, gazing at him with her wide blue eyes, her hair tousled from sleep. But her beauty, inside and out, clawed at him because she might not be here tomorrow or the next day. Which meant one thing--as much as she loved mankind, she didn't love him enough.

  The phone jangled on his nightstand, severing the tentative bond between them. Clay couldn't imagine who'd be calling this early. Paige's cell phone on her side of the bed would have signaled an emergency.

  With his arm still around her, he snatched up the phone.

  "Clay, this is Monica Conrad. Can I speak to Paige?"

  A sense of foreboding burned in the pit of Clay's stomach. Stretching the phone cord across his chest, he handed the receiver to Paige. "It's your mother."

  Paige pulled away from him and sat up. He hiked himself up against the headboard. As Paige listened to her mother, he watched her expression turn serious, the sparkle leave her eyes. She glanced at Clay, then looked away. The sense of foreboding burned wider and deeper.

  Finally Paige said to her mother, "I understand. I'll see you tonight." She handed th
e receiver to Clay, avoiding his gaze.

  He set the phone down with a rough snap. "What did she want?"

  Paige looked at him then, with eyes filled with misery and confusion. "She wants my decision by tonight. She says she can't wait any longer. Doc's taking her to Johns Hopkins. There's a doctor there who might be interested in our work."

  Paige was still connected to her mother, to their work. "What have you decided?"

  Tears glistened in her eyes. "I don't know."

  He couldn't live in this limbo. If Paige was going, he'd have to live with that. But he needed to know. She needed to decide. "What do you want?"

  She shook her head, unable to answer.

  Unbidden, anger took the place of the foreboding. "You're a hypocrite, Paige. You told Ben to go after his dreams and you're afraid to do it yourself. Does your mother's approval mean so much more than your own happiness?"

  She swayed away from him. "No, of course not. I loved the work."

  His mouth twisted wryly, and he couldn't help but ask the questions that had plagued him about her life to this point. "Did you? Or did you love your parents so much that that deluded you into thinking you had to be just like them? Love what they love. Be what they wanted you to be. Have you ever thought about you, Paige, separate from them? Have you ever imagined a life you forged, not them?"

  "All I ever wanted to do was..." She looked down at her hands.

  "Heal," he filled in. "And you can do that anywhere." He was going to do something he'd sworn he wouldn't do. But if there was any way he could keep her here... "Paige, I love you. But you have to want a life with me as much as I want one with you. Your loyalty can't be divided. If you stay and wish you'd gone, it will destroy the love we have."

  A tear tripped down her cheek, wrenching his heart. "I know. If I stay, I have to forget my life in Africa, my parents' goals and dreams. But I don't know if I can. Mother suggested I go back with her, see how I feel..."

  That suggestion fueled Clay's anger. "Out of sight, out of mind. She's hoping you'll forget me."

  Paige reached for his hand. "I'll never forget you. And it might give me some time."