Soldier's Heart: a Wounded Love novel

by Megan Green

  * * * *

  Soldier’s Heart

  Copyright © 20156 by Megan Green

  All rights reserved.

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  For Adam.

  Always.

  And for Tucker.

  Love and miss you, buddy.

  Title Page

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Epilogue

  Afterword

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  “In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.”

  —Jose Naroksy

  They say the world can change in an instant. They say tomorrow is never guaranteed. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, life will come along and make you its bitch. I never quite knew who they were. But, like the naïve fool I was, I laughed and scorned their cynicism. I scoffed at their bitterness. And then, in the blink of an eye, life showed me just how ugly she could be.

  “Help! Emma, help! I’m being attacked!”

  I set my breakfast dishes in the sink, letting out an exasperated sigh as I step out onto the porch of my home and business, Keen Komrades. The sight of my business partner and roommate, Joey Roberts, lying in the grass greets me. Three of our utterly ferocious and terrifying—not to mention, completely adorable—golden retriever puppies pounce on him. The little balls of fluff tumble over each other as they each try to climb onto Joey’s chest. I roll my eyes and take the few steps down to where they’re sprawled out. Jasper, the largest and most rambunctious of our latest litter, finally finds success in his quest. He settles himself across Joey’s chest, attacking his face and neck with wet puppy kisses. A wide grin spreads across Joey’s face as he laughs.

  I sigh, bending over to lift Jasper off of Joey. I cuddle him against me, relishing in the feel of his soft fur against my neck. For me, there is no greater feeling than the weight of a tiny puppy nestled against my chest. The silky texture of their new coats, the rough but gentle feeling of their little tongues as they explore. And the all-around sense that all is right in the world when I have a dog in my arms. Everybody tells me that will change, that this is nothing compared to the feeling of holding your own child in your arms. But I seriously can’t imagine life getting any better than this.

  I kiss the top of Jasper’s head, shooting a glare at Joey as he continues to wrestle with Lucy and Max, the other two puppies he has out of the kennel. Loki and Zoey must still be in with their mother, Maggie.

  “Are you ever going to go get dressed? We have places to be you know,” I ask, my annoyance clear.

  Joey laughs as Lucy grabs onto the leg of his pants and tugs. Hearing her growl, Max quickly stops his attempt to destroy Joey’s shirt in order to investigate. He latches onto Joey’s other pant leg, proceeding to try and out-tug his sister. Joey glances at me, a look of complete happiness on his face.

  “Aw, c’mon, Em. We’ve got plenty of time. These little guys are just getting their legs under them. Let them have a few more minutes of playtime.”

  I kiss the top of Jasper’s head once more before planting him back on the ground next to his siblings and extending my hand to Joey. “Sorry, dude, but you’re wrong. It’s coming up on three o’clock. We need to get on the road within the hour if we have any chance of making it on time.”

  Joey glances at his watch, cursing under his breath. He grabs my hand and shoves off the ground, not really needing my assistance in getting to his feet. After brushing the dirt and grass from his jeans, he finally takes a good look at me for the first time since I stepped outside. “What the hell is going on with your hair?”

  I lift my hand to my head, patting the area where my hair is currently rolled into dozens of pieces of aluminum foil. “What? This is the only way my hair will hold a curl. I want to look nice.”

  “You think wrapping your head in tin foil is the best way to look nice?” The sideways look he gives me causes a laugh to burst from my lips.

  “I’m going to take it out, you moron. I just wrap it like this, and the heat gets trapped in or something. I don’t really know how it works. I saw some girl do it on YouTube once and thought I’d give it a try. Now this little magic trick is the only way to get my stick-straight hair to hold a curl longer than ten seconds.”

  The look on Joey’s face makes it clear he thinks I’ve lost my mind, but I don’t have time to try and explain this to him right now. I turn and point toward the house. “Go get your ass in the shower. If you make us late, you’re the one who’s going to be explaining to Haylee why I wasn’t there to help her get dressed.”

  A frightened look flashes across his face at my words, forcing another smile to my lips. He turns, dashing up the stairs and into the house. Gathering the three dogs, I lead them back to the kennel on the side of my house. Upon our entrance, Maggie peers at me from where she’s napping with her other two puppies. I open the gate to the kennel and nestle Lucy, Jasper, and Max into their mother’s side. Dropping to my knees, I take a moment and bury my face into the fur at Maggie’s neck, cooing to her softly, letting her know what a good dog she is and how much I love her. Aside from Joey, Maggie has been my constant companion these last few years. She’s been with me through all the highs and lows that came after the death of my fiancé, Chris. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. I wouldn’t be where I am today, that’s for sure.

  I give her one last pat on the head before standing and making my way back into my house. It still thrills me a little every time I think those words: my house. After finding Maggie all those years ago and nursing her back to health, it had been clear to me that she had saved my life just as much as I had saved hers. And a few years later, after graduating with my degree in psychology, I knew there was nothi
ng I would rather do than help other people in need find a companion. Someone who could do for them what Maggie had done for me. Joey, my closest friend at the time and Chris’s former battle buddy, had been completely on board with the idea, my Maggie having been as much of a soothing balm to his soul as she was to mine. And thus, Keen Komrades was born.

  I had found this run down old house sitting on a ton of wasted property and instantly fallen in love with it. I knew it was exactly what we needed to get started. Joey had tried to dissuade me, telling me we could find something in better condition. Something not in so much need of repair. But I had been adamant. And with a little elbow grease, a lot of time, and an insane amount of help from our friends, we had built it into what it is today. It’s not perfect by any means. But it’s my home. And my life. We’ve been up and running for two years now, and have successfully placed twelve service dogs with those in need of one. If anybody would’ve told me five years ago this is where I’d be today, I would have told them they were insane. But I’ve found something that completely fulfills and enriches my life. And at the end of the day, there’s nothing more satisfying.

  I walk back to my room, glancing in the mirror as I pass by and laughing at my reflection. Okay, I can kind of see why Joey had seemed so concerned, but come on. Did he really think I’d go out in public like this? I smile to myself as I remove the pieces of foil from my long blonde hair. When I’m done, it falls in perfect waves around my shoulders, exactly as I had hoped.

  I move to the garment bag hanging on the back of my bedroom door. Unzipping it, I take in the gorgeous ice blue fabric of the dress. I slide my fingers along the luxurious satin and hesitate. We have over an hour long drive ahead of us. And satin is notorious for wrinkles. I re-zip the bag and shrug into a plaid button down shirt and pull on some sweat pants. I’ll just have to change when we get there.

  I lightly apply the minimal makeup I save for special occasions, singing and dancing along with the radio on the bathroom sink. Before I know it, a light knock raps on my bedroom door. I shout permission for entry, and the door swings wide, revealing Joey in all his tuxedoed glory.

  My eyes sweep over his body, and I grin in appreciation. “Someone sure cleans up nice.”

  He grimaces, moving into my bedroom and sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed. Apparently, he doesn’t want to deal with last minute wrinkles either.

  “I look like a friggin’ idiot,” he says, a miserable look on his face.

  I shake my head and laugh. “It’s a tux, Joey. Not a freaking death sentence. You look nice. It won’t kill you to not wear your boots and cargo pants for a few hours.”

  The look he gives me lets me know he’s not entirely convinced of this, and I can’t resist rolling my eyes at his melodrama.

  “Grab my dress, will you? Hang it on the hook in the backseat. I’ll be down in a sec. One last spritz of hairspray, a little perfume, and I should be good to go.”

  Joey takes the garment bag and heads to the car. I douse my head in another cloud of hairspray and stride out of the attached bathroom and into my bedroom. Stopping in front of my dresser, I open my jewelry box to grab the necklace and earrings Haylee bought to match my dress. A glint catches my eye, and my fingers move to close around a diamond ring. No, not just a diamond ring. The diamond ring. The ring that was going to change my whole life. The ring that did change my whole life. Just not in the way I was expecting. I hold it between my thumb and forefinger, twisting it this way and that, letting the light play over the gorgeous stone.

  Memories of the day Chris proposed overwhelm me. I smile, blinking back tears as I remember. I’d been so confused at the time. With the help of my best friend, Haylee, Chris had arranged for me to make my way down a pier at Wilmington Beach, dozens of strangers stopping to give me flowers and compliments as I went. I’d had no clue what was going on. Chris had stood at the end, dressed to the nines in his dress blues, surrounded by his military brothers and all our friends and family. It’d been the most amazing day of my life up to that point. And all I’d been able to think about was the fact that I’d have the rest of my life with Chris, and I couldn’t wait to see if he’d be capable of topping it.

  I blink back to the present. Slowly, and with trembling fingers, I slide the ring onto my left hand. Onto my wedding finger. The finger Chris had slid this ring onto what seems like forever ago. I haven’t had much occasion to open my jewelry box lately, so it’s been a while since I’ve laid eyes on the gorgeous gem. My fingers tighten into a fist, and I bring the ring to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the stone.

  “I wish you could be here with me today, baby. I wish you were here for your best friend’s big day.”

  The beginnings of tears prick at my eyes, and I quickly blink them away, not wanting to smudge my mascara. I slide the ring off my finger, placing it gently back against the soft velvet interior of the jewelry box. Giving the ring a final longing look, I snap the lid shut, closing both the box and the memories that come along with it. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself right now. We’ve got a wedding to go to.

  The car ride passes quickly as Joey and I belt out the lyrics to eighties songs at the top of our lungs. That’s another thing I wouldn’t have believed if you’d have told me several years ago. When I first met Joey, I’d thought he was the typical big, bad stalwart type I’d always likened with the military. He was always so straight faced and indomitable. But come to find out, my friend loves jamming out to the classics. We’ve spent many a night bonding over the collective tunes of Metallica, Motley Crue, Queen, and the like. Poor Joey can’t sing any better than I can, but I think that’s why this is one of our favorite things to do. There’s nothing more freeing than cruising down the road with the windows rolled down, blasting Come on Eileen and singing completely off key at the top of your lungs. Of course, today, I have banned the rolling down of windows. I didn’t endure all that time and ridicule from Joey just to mess up my hair before we even get there.

  The GPS leads us to a massive building. With the tall pillars and peaked turrets, it seriously looks like a mini castle. I check the address and look at Joey. “This can’t be right, can it? I thought they said they were having a small wedding.”

  Joey shakes his head at me in mock disappointment, chuckling softly. “What kind of bridesmaid are you, Em? Shouldn’t you have already been here like ten times by now? Scoping the place out with the bride… or whatever it is you chicks do.”

  I look at my feet. I know he’s joking, but his words strike home. I have been a terrible friend. I haven’t even seen Haylee in a while. Not since we went shopping for bridesmaids dresses several months ago. Whenever she’d called me, conversation would inevitably turn to wedding related details. And I’d always suddenly had “something to do.” Haylee has been nothing but accepting and gracious about the whole thing, considering what a shitty friend I’ve been to her. She’d made excuses for me to others, telling them how busy I was with my business and the dogs. Hell, she’d made excuses for me to myself, always defending me whenever I tried to apologize for my absence. But deep down, I know she knows it’s just been too hard.

  It’s been four years since Chris passed away, and I’ve come a long way since that terrible day. Shockingly, I’d even recently let my friends talk me into several horrifying attempts at blind dating. I know I’m young, and I need to get back out there. But the wedding stuff… it was just… too much. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle the endless cake tastings and dress fittings. I wasn’t there for the meetings with the caterers, helping her decide on the perfect entrée to serve at her wedding. I couldn’t even deal with planning the bachelorette party. The day Amanda—my other best friend—and I had met Haylee at a bridal shop to find the dresses we’d be wearing alongside her on her big day, I’d practically gone into a full blown panic attack amongst all that white silk. Chris and I hadn’t set an official date yet when he died, but it hadn’t stopped me from ogling wedding dresses and reading every bridal
magazine known to man. I’d had several appointments set up to go shopping with Haylee. My mother and sister had been scheduled to fly in to come with us. And I’d never had the chance. Being in the bridal shop had brought it all rushing to the surface. I’d managed to make it through the rest of the day without breaking down. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle any more wedding planning.

  Not when I’d been cheated out of my own wedding day. Watching my best friend plan the perfect wedding to the love of her life was too much for me. I was supposed to have all of this. The wedding. The dress. The cake. The life. The epic love. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t resent Haylee for any of her happiness. That girl deserved it more than anyone else I knew. But knowing that didn’t make it sting any less when I thought of everything that could’ve been. For me.

  I know that makes me sound like a dreadful human being. Not to mention the world’s shittiest friend. And if I were Haylee, I would hate my guts for abandoning her during what should be the happiest time in her life. But lucky for me, that’s not who she is. My best friend is too good. Too sweet. She doesn’t have a hateful bone in her entire body. She honestly deserves a better friend than me. But for some reason, she loves me. And I’ll be forever grateful to her for not only putting up with my bullshit over the last few months, but for the last four years.

  Joey opens the door to the beautiful building, and I hustle through the large doorway, resolute in putting all that shit aside for the day. I may have been a shitty bridesmaid and friend until now, but I will not ruin my best friend’s big day. A large staircase ascends inside the door. I place my hand on the banister, knowing my friend will be upstairs somewhere, waiting to get dressed for the moment she says “I do.” But as I begin my climb, Joey’s hand closes around my arm.

  “I think you’re going to need this,” he says with a smile, holding out the garment bag containing my dress.