Soldier's Heart: a Wounded Love novel

by Megan Green

  And then he’d never come back for him.

  Looking at Ethan now, it’s clear once the funds ran dry, the hospital had booted him. Having no one else to care for him, Ethan has been on his own.

  And he blames me.

  I push myself onto my knees, my hands staying where he can see them.

  “Ethan, I’m so sorry,” I shout over the din of the wind.

  His eyes widen at my use of his name. His arm lowers, the gun pointing toward the ground below him. I take advantage of his surprise and clamber to my feet.

  I take a step toward him. He pulls his lips back off his teeth, and he snarls at me. Again, I raise my hands in attempt to mollify him.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Ethan. I only want to talk. You miss Jonah. He was an amazing man. I miss him too.”

  Ethan’s eyes glisten, and he lowers his chin to his chest. He brings both hands to his temples, squeezing and banging against his skull with the heel of his hand and the butt of the gun.

  The gun temporarily off me and his attention on the ground below, I make a snap decision. I rush him, grabbing for the gun. We crash to the ground, rolling together as I try to pry the gun from his fingers. He squeezes off a shot, but the sound is muffled in the strong wind. Thunder crashes overhead, and the skies open.

  The rain makes it difficult for me to get a good hold on the weapon. I wrestle with him, smacking his head back against the pavement in hopes of loosening his grip. He lets out a strangled cry, but doesn’t relent.

  I have all my attention focused on the hand with the gun. So I don’t even see his other hand until his fist is connecting with my temple. My vision swims, stars breaking out behind my eyelids. It knocks me back for only a second. But a second is all Ethan needs.

  He bucks me off him, throwing me to the ground before he climbs on top of me. He jams his forearm into my neck, crushing my wind pipe and cutting off my air supply, then lowers his face to within inches of mine, his harsh whisper clear as day over the rush of the wind and rain.

  “Jonah didn’t deserve to die. It should have been you. I may not be able to bring him back, but at least I can make sure he didn’t die in vain.”

  The cold metal of the gun presses against my sore temple, and I squeeze my eyes tight. I think of Emma, of everything I wanted with her. Marriage, kids, eternity. Everything and now I’ll never get to experience any of it. And Emma will have to face another loss. A tear slips from my eye as I think of how unfair it is to her.

  Everything happens all at once. A weight is lifted. A shot is fired. Lightning strikes. Thunder rumbles.

  I can no longer feel Ethan sitting on my chest, his arm pressed into my throat. The gunshot. I’m dead. I can no longer feel him because I am dead.

  But the rain still batters my face. If I’m dead, why can I still feel the rain? My eyes pop open, taking in the heaven around me.

  Except it’s not heaven. Not unless heaven is the parking lot of Wright Taste. My head swings around, searching for Ethan. I know he can’t have moved far.

  And I’m right. Lying not even two feet from me is Ethan. A large mass of something sits on his chest. His arms flail, trying to move whatever has pinned him. He screams and shrieks as whatever it is attacks.

  My eyes fly to his side, where the gun lays free. I scramble to it, desperate to get to it before he realizes he’s lost it. My fingers close around it, and I climb to my feet.

  The scene before me both elates and terrifies me all at once. Jasper is at Ethan’s throat, keeping him from getting to me. My heart surges at the sight of my dog. That is, until Ethan’s fist connects with his side, and he yelps.

  Fury tears through me as I grab for Jasper, pulling him to my chest with one arm as I keep the gun trained on Ethan. I sink to my knees in order to place Jasper on the ground, keeping my arm around him the entire time, and never once dropping my aim on Ethan.

  Sirens wail in the distance. In the drum of the rain, it’s hard to tell how far away they are. But it’s a relief to know they’re on their way. Ethan looks around wildly, searching for the gun before he realizes it’s in my hand. He slumps back, letting the rain fall into his eyes.

  “Please. Shoot me. People like me don’t survive in jail. Do me a favor, and put me out of my misery now.” When I don’t speak, he lifts his head from the pavement, eyes filled with terror. “Please. You fucking owe it to me. You fucked up my life. You did this to me. The least you can do is end it for me.”

  A police car skids to a stop behind me, two officers springing from the doors. I drop the gun, looking Ethan square in the eye.

  “No, Ethan. I didn’t do this to you. You did this to yourself.”

  I gather Jasper into my arms. And together we walk inside out of the rain, leaving Ethan to the police.

  Several hours and a million questions later, I’m finally climbing into bed.

  Emma’s bed.

  She looks at me, her face full of love and relief. I slide in next to her, pulling her against me as I kiss the top of her head. Jasper and Maggie lay at our feet. It’s a tight fit, all four of us in this bed, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

  Emma sighs, snuggling closer to me. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  She’s said this about every two seconds since she saw me walk back through the restaurant door. She said she’d been desperate to get to me, but the group of men who’d been there watching the game refused to let her out the door. I’ll have to buy them a round of drinks next time they’re in. They kept her safe for me.

  I wrap my arms around her, marveling at the feel of her warm body next to mine. For a brief moment tonight, I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel this again. I’m never going to take an instant with Emma for granted again.

  “I still can’t get over the fact Jasper was able to get to you. How did he even get out of the building?”

  I’d brought Jasper to the restaurant with me, leaving him back in Kev’s office while I worked. I’d wanted him close by, in case another panic attack hit me. Plus, I didn’t like the idea of him being left alone. Not with the potential threat I’d been facing.

  But there was nobody back there during the altercation with Ethan. The place was off limits to everyone except me, Kevin, and our family. There’d been nobody there to open the office door. Nobody inside the bar had known he was there in the first place. There’s no rational explanation as to how Jasper was able to come to my rescue.

  But I know.

  Jim.

  Even in death, the soldier was watching my back, loyal and vigilant until the end. There’s no doubt in my mind he was there tonight. Ready to spring into action when I needed him most. He’d been the one to open that door. He’d let Jasper out of that room in order to save me.

  I don’t voice my ideas to Emma, because I know how crazy they sound. I’ll carry this with me until the day I die. The knowledge that my best friend was so insistent on my happiness he’d managed to come to my rescue from beyond the grave.

  But I don’t doubt it for a second.

  Emma switches off the bedside lamp and wraps herself around me, as if afraid I’ll disappear. I smile.

  Jasper makes his way up the bed, plastering himself against my back. And I lay here, sandwiched between the woman I love and the dog I will always treasure. And for the first time since that dark, lonely night all those months ago, the night my life forever changed, I’m content.

  I meant what I said to Ethan tonight. I didn’t do that to him. His choice to go off his medication over and over again put him into the mental state he was in tonight. And I no longer feel the crushing guilt over Jonah, Rob, and now Jim’s death. Because Jim was right. It wasn’t my fault. I could’ve made any other decision, and the outcome could’ve remained the exact same. Or maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe they’d still be alive. I’ll never know, but I do know I was lucky enough to know those three men for the brief time I did. To have earned their trust and their loyalty. I would’ve followed them to the ends of the Earth, just as th
ey did for me.

  So while I still feel an incredible sadness at the loss of my three friends, the guilt I’d allowed to overtake my life this past year is finished.

  Life can change in an instant. And I intend to live every second of it.

  Five years later

  “Babe, can you hand that to me please?”

  Emma’s exasperated voice brings my head around from the two pieces of wood I’m screwing together. I see her stretching forward, trying to reach the bottle of water on the coffee table in front of her.

  I laugh. She looks so damn flustered. And adorable. Her large belly hinders her movement so much these days, but I can’t help but feel a swell of pride every time I look at it.

  She’s due any day now. To say I’m excited about the birth of our first child is the understatement of the century. Every time she even winces or groans, I’m on my feet, ready to drive her to the hospital. At first, she thought it was cute and would laugh every time. Now she looks like she wants to murder me every time I ask her if it’s time.

  My eyes fall to the ring she’s wearing on a chain around her neck. The ring I placed on her finger almost four years ago to the day. Last week, her fingers swelled to the point she wasn’t able to slide it over her knuckle. But she refused to not wear it. So I’d found an old silver chain and strung it on there for her. I love how she never wants to be without my ring, without the tangible reminder of the love I feel for her.

  That day on the beach had been wonderful. Perfect. Surrounded by only our close family and friends, we’d forever pledged our love to one another. It was simple. And it was beautiful.

  I’d moved into Keen Komrades shortly before our wedding, and once we’d returned from our honeymoon, Joey had moved out. We’d both told him we didn’t mind having him there. It was his home before it had ever been mine after all, but he’d insisted. The place was different without him around, but we’d managed.

  Jasper strolls into the nursery, followed closely by Lucy. When the time came to place the dogs in their homes all those years ago, the man who’d been lined up for Lucy had backed out. Instead of going through another placement process, we’d decided to keep her, seeing as how Maggie was “retiring.” She had produced three more litters over the past few years, and we’d been successful in placing each dog with a disabled veteran. We’d grown a lot over the years, adding several other kennels and courses, and having several other breeders donating dogs for us to train. We now had a full time staff of three other trainers in order to keep up with the demand. As well as the veterans who still came out from the program Joey had initiated.

  Our two dogs nose through the papers and pieces of wood scattered across the floor. I shoo them away, trying to get the crib finished. Emma had been so indecisive about the type she wanted. So now here I am, days before the Big Day, assembling our baby’s bed.

  My phone rings from my back pocket, and I pull it out, giving up on the crib for now. My mom’s name flashes on the screen, and I smile.

  “Hey, Mom. Nothing yet.”

  She’s been calling every few hours today. She says she’s positive today is the day, despite the fact that at Emma’s final check yesterday, the doctor said she’d have at least a few more days of waiting.

  “You just wait. That baby is coming today. I can feel it. Your father is so excited.”

  I laugh, teasing her about Dad not being the only one who’s excited. I look at Emma, so grateful to her for giving me this. A relationship with my parents.

  Jasper rolls over, exposing his belly, his tongue lolling out to the side as he grins at me. I rub his belly as I finish with my mom, promising to call her the second Emma even thinks she might be going into labor.

  I’m still laughing as I hang up, turning to look at Emma. I see Maggie saunter into the room. She walks to Emma, placing her chin on Emma’s knee. Emma reaches for her, patting her on the head gently. She smooths her hand over Maggie’s gray face. At almost twelve, I know we don’t have much time left with her. It breaks my heart thinking of the day we’ll have to make that dreaded decision, but I’m grateful Emma had her through her pregnancy.

  Emma gasps, breaking my silent reflection. My eyes fly to her, and she stares at me, uncertainty filling her eyes.

  Neither of us speaks. We hold one another’s gaze as she settles her hand over her stomach. And as another wave of pain crosses her face, she breaks out into a small smile.

  “I think it’s time.”

  Eighteen hours later, I fall in love all over again.

  Her name is Chloe. Chloe Elizabeth Wright.

  And she’s absolute perfection.

  THE END

  Afterword

  Every 65 minutes, a veteran commits suicide. About 22 per day. And some sources suggest this rate is lower than what actually occurs. Unfortunately, many of our veterans aren’t receiving the care they need after returning from war. Service dogs are just one of the many options available to our veterans, however, they are extremely expensive and many cannot afford them. It can cost up to $25,000 to fully train a service dog. During my research for Keen Komrades, I came across an organization that is based on the same principles. Veterans volunteer their time to train these dogs for their fellow comrades, and in return receive therapeutic benefits such as reduced anxiety and depression, improved sleep, increased patience and impulse control, and a decrease in emotional numbness. I hope you’ll take a minute to take a look at their website and consider donating to this amazing cause. I will be donating 20% of the proceeds from this book during release month to this wonderful organization in thanks for all that they do for our nation’s veterans.

  http://pawsforpurplehearts.org/

  Acknowledgments

  So many people helped me throughout the course of this book. There were numerous times I wanted to give up. But, with the help of some fantastic friends and family, I was able to work through the tough times and complete what has turned into my favorite story I’ve written thus far. So here we go.

  First and foremost, I have to thank my husband, Adam. Without him and his never-ending support, neither of my books would exist. Thanks for putting up with me during the many hours I spent writing this book. And thank you for loving me. It’s because of you I’m able to write such sweet male leads. They’re all based on you. I love you!

  A huge thank you to my family and in-laws for their love and support. Love you all!

  Nichole – thanks for putting up with my never ending questions and constant need for reassurance that I wasn’t completely crazy for attempting to write another book. You rock!

  To my fabulous Vixen writer friends—THANK YOU! If it weren’t for you guys, this book probably wouldn’t exist. A special thanks to Debi for talking me off the ledge about a million times. Love you, girl.

  During the course of writing this book, I lost one of my very best friends—my amazing puppy, Tucker. Cancer took him from us way too soon, but he’ll never be forgotten. Love and miss you every day, baby boy. You taught me the wonderful healing power that is the unconditional love of a dog. Without that, I never would’ve been able to write this book.

  Of course, a MASSIVE thank you to our nation’s veterans. Words cannot express the amount of gratitude each and every person in this country owes you for putting your lives on the line for our freedom every day.

  Thanks to Tee Tate and Melinda Utendorf for your superior editing skills. You guys helped turn my mess into something worth reading. And thank you to Julie Deaton for your amazing and thorough proofread. You put the final polish on this book and made it even better

  Thank you to all the bloggers who have read and helped spread the word about my books. The indie community would be nothing without you guys!

  And last, but certainly not least, thank you to my readers. Thank you to each and every one of you who have taken the time to message me after reading Safe Distance and telling me how much you enjoyed it. Those messages mean the world to me. Seriously, ask my husband. I get insanely gid
dy each time I get one of these messages. So keep them coming. I hope you enjoyed this one just as much. You guys are the best!

  About the Author

  Megan lives in Northern Utah with her handsome hubby, Adam. When not writing, chances are you’ll find her curled up with her Kindle. Besides reading and writing, she loves movies, animals, chocolate, and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. She loves hearing from readers, so drop her a line! You can find her here:

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