Sūnder (Darksoul Book 1)

by Lexi Ander

  As he understood the situation, High Druid Mèlindria was the current Watcher, and he wondered, not for the first time, if she knew more about what went on between a faeborn and guardian. He wasn’t comfortable at the thought of asking her, but he might have to if he couldn’t come up with the answers on his own.

  “That’s not exactly true,” Dr. Lashūl said, bringing Gabe back to the conversation. “There was the Scarab War.” He moved to a desk in the corner. “I remember my history studies vividly, and the firsthand accounts of the soldiers who went into the forest looking for survivors. They told of whole enclaves ravaged by scarabs. Of the fourteen major noble houses, four houses were utterly destroyed and three others so severly diminished in size and power they became minor houses. Only the five houses furthest from the center of the Jade Forest remained completely intact.”

  “If those beetles were caused, no, came about the same way these did,” Gabe pointed at the glass container, “then something in the forest was terribly polluted.”

  “Perhaps. They could also have been a natural phenomenon. We have no way of really knowing.”

  No, they didn’t, and that was the bitch of the situation. All his questions just led to more. But… “I don’t believe the beetles could be natural. I’ve been thinking about what I saw when Sūnder cleaned the park. He did that by exchanging energy with everything around him. When he took up the pollutant, his light, his magick, immediately began to darken and sicken him. What if this darksoul effect is environmental? I have to tell you, seeing the brilliance around Sūnder when we were touching, my intuition immediately identified that as his soul. If he picked up enough contaminants to make him really sick, and there was no one around to cleanse away the taint, would the outcome be faeborn losing their minds? Going mad? Everything I’ve heard and read about this darksoul effect has the hallmarks of a mental illness.”

  “That’s a good theory, but one that cannot be proven without a tainted faeborn.”

  Gabe frowned at Dr. Lashūl, who only seemed to be listening with half an ear. “We won’t have a tainted faeborn as long as I’m around. Perhaps if we knew what the substance was, we could study it and find out more without others getting hurt.”

  “If the contaminant sickens a faeborn, what would it do to an average person?” Dr. Lashūl asked. “On Slorèx, L’fÿns, Panthrÿns, and Faelÿns all have enough magick within us to be able to sense high levels of magicks in individuals. If you’re correct about magick being attached to our souls, then wouldn’t a toxin like that also sicken our general population?”

  Gabe fell silent at the question. It led to possibilities too horrific to put a voice to. L’fÿns and Panthrÿns had trouble with reproduction, Faelÿns to a lesser extent, and this was apparently a relatively recent event. Could their issue be environmental as well? But if it was, shouldn’t their scientist have noticed and identified the reason? That line of thought brought him back around to the test results Dr. Lashūl had acquired from the Festival organizers. The blood samples revealed that Gabe, and probably the other participants, had certain markers identifying them as more closely related to Chándariāns than should’ve been possible. More and more, the theory of an L’fÿn ship crash-landing on earth became less farfetched.

  Sūnder walked into the lab, halting mid-step as he picked up on the weighted silence. Gabe quickly crossed the room, glad to see him. He melted into Sūnder’s automatic embrace, loving how sexy Sūnder looked in his military uniform.

  “What did I interrupt?” Sūnder asked before pressing his lips to Gabe’s forehead.

  “Nothing much.” Gabe snorted into Sūnder’s chest. “Just us asking questions that lead to more questions, and generally depressing ourselves. Have you heard from Captain Paulo?”

  “No. I thought I would steal you from Lashūl for a while. If I remember correctly, you said you used to spar with Ronan and his family. I thought perhaps you might want to refresh your memory.”

  He glanced up to Sūnder with a mock frown. “I don’t know. Will this involve you going shirtless?” Sūnder’s purr caused Gabe to groan. “That’s cheating.”

  “Whatever do you mean?” Turning to Dr. Lashūl, Sūnder asked, “Do you mind if I borrow him for a while?”

  Dr. Lashūl waved a permissive hand, already engrossed in sorting data on the large display. “Sure. I’m going to look into a couple of things. Something Gabe said jogged my memory. I think…” He trailed off. It wasn’t the first time Gabe had watched Dr. Lashūl suddenly get lost in thought, completely forgetting he wasn’t alone. Judging by the last few times it had happened, the Panthrÿn wouldn’t come back from his thoughts for a while.

  Gabe allowed himself to be pulled out of the lab and down the corridor. He was becoming more familiar with Sūnder’s ship, but the language barrier had become increasingly frustrating. He kept telling himself he would study more, but his time kept being eaten up by research into guardians. The more he learned, the more he wondered if the truth about guardians had died along with them.

  Then there was spending time with Sūnder. As scary as the changes to his body were, being with Sūnder gave him a sense of purpose, as if he should have been here all along. Not only that, but there was something intoxicating about the power of a guardian. Well, not the power per se, more like the responsibility. He mattered. What he did for Sūnder was important. He suspected that if he and Sūnder were dropped into an ecosystem like the Jade Forest, the two of them together would have a huge impact. The thought excited him. It was how he’d felt at becoming a nurse, times ten. He enjoyed having a positive influence on the lives of others; it made him happy. He could only imagine what it would be like to make a difference on a global scale. But it was a power that, in the hands of the wrong person, would corrupt. Perhaps it was even a power others would covet enough to kill for. For that reason, being a guardian also scared the living daylights out of him.

  When they entered the gym, Gabe put his worry aside to watch Sūnder remove his uniform jacket and shirt, revealing his broad chest. Only that morning, Gabe had licked every one of those rosettes before taking Sūnder’s cock into his mouth.

  “If you keep looking at me like that, I won’t be able to show you any moves,” Sūnder rumbled.

  Oh, how was he supposed to leave that opening alone? Gabe grinned widely, provocatively removing his own T-shirt. “You have some moves to show me?”

  Sūnder’s eyes blazed with heat as he prowled across the mat, his tail swishing from side to side. “You’re playing with fire.”

  “Perhaps I want to get burned.” If Ronan were there, he’d be making gagging noises at Gabe’s puns. Sūnder wasn’t flirting on purpose, but it was so fucking fun to play with his Panthrÿn prince.

  Sūnder lunged, and Gabe used the momentum to flip Sūnder onto his back. When Sūnder gazed up at him from the mat, Gabe frowned. “That was too easy.” Sure, the tactic was doable with Gabe’s size compared to Sūnder’s, but it should have taken more effort on Gabe’s part. He hadn’t executed the maneuver in a very long time. Perhaps he remembered the difficulties wrong? Something told him no. Panthrÿns were much faster than humans; he shouldn’t have been able to move quickly enough to execute the action against one. “That had to be a lucky shot. Let’s try again.”

  For the next hour, Gabe and Sūnder tested his new agility and strength. At the end of that time, one thing was very obvious: Gabe no longer had human speed or strength. He was equal to Sūnder, and the self-defense lessons he’d learned with Ronan’s family only needed a bit of coaxing for the muscle memory to kick in.

  Gabe was changing in more ways than he’d imagined possible. When would it stop? Going by what Ronan had hinted, what he was becoming could be natural to him, to his family. The thought only rekindled his anger toward his parents. Why hadn’t they told him? Although Sūnder had put him in contact with an agency that would track his mother and father down, for now, he could only wait and wonder. That Ronan knew something… Gabe would hold on to his s
peculation until Ronan could explain before he decided what he thought of Ronan’s duplicity.

  Landing on the mat with an oomph, Gabe didn’t counter, allowing Sūnder to cover him. Their breathing echoed loudly in the empty gym. Sūnder leaned in to steal a kiss. Relishing the slippery feel of their sweaty skin, Gabe wound his arms around Sūnder. When Sūnder broke the kiss, Gabe could see the question before Sūnder spoke.

  “Are you…”

  “Am I what?” Gabe stroked Sūnder’s back using his palm, sensing Sūnder needed the soothing touch.

  Sūnder’s face contorted into a cute grimace. “Are you sorry you met me, became involved with me?”

  He should not have been surprised by the question. A couple of days ago he’d panicked and considered running. But not because of Sūnder. Not really.

  “Sūnder.” Gabe cupped Sūnder’s face in his hands. Did he wish he’d never crossed paths with Sūnder? Looking into Sūnder’s amazing, unique eyes, eyes whose outer crimson ring shouted Sūnder’s heritage, Gabe carefully considered the question. For the first time in a long while, he allowed himself to speak from the heart.

  “There were two reasons I agreed to go to the Festival with Ronan. One, so he wouldn’t have to go alone, and two, because I wanted to see you again. You’d been on my mind since the first time we met and, short of unethically pulling your information from the hospital systems, the Festival was the only way I could think of to run into you. Yes, I did consider cancelling our dinner, and then of asking you to leave the next morning, but instead I made excuses to see you, to keep you close. I tried to be content with the few days I thought we would have together, but kept wondering if I could somehow convince you to stay.

  “Now, I look at you and I can’t imagine not knowing you, never experiencing your touch. You terrified me because you made me feel what no one else has: that crazy kind of attraction where I can’t get enough of you. Being captivated like that scared the hell out of me because I felt out of control. I was terrified I’d turn out like my parents, who loved each other hard, and fought each other with the same passion. In my opinion a love like theirs defied all logic, because when you love someone, don’t you protect them, cherish them, and strive to make them happy? But knowing you has taught me differently, that what my parents had wasn’t really love, just passion.” Gabe wanted to hide, because now that he’d said the words aloud, he sounded ridiculous.

  Sūnder’s smile was beautiful, sharp teeth and all. When Gabe had woken that morning, he’d been struck by a deep-seated need to claim Sūnder in some way. That same desire slammed into Gabe now as Sūnder’s enticing scent surrounded him, the heat of his body calling to Gabe.

  “So what you’re saying is that you love me, and it’s not just any love but something a bit untamed where you want to ravish me all the time?” Sūnder’s tone was teasing, but his eyes were heated.

  Gabe groaned, his cheeks warming with his embarrassment, but Sūnder’s rumble told him Sūnder didn’t think him foolish at all. The hard erection pressing into his thigh telegraphed exactly what Sūnder thought.

  Sūnder’s grin dimmed. “I worry,” he confessed. “These changes you’re undergoing…” Gabe turned his head, allowing Sūnder to rub the ridges of his nose along Gabe’s neck.

  “Yeah, they scare me too. Mostly because I don’t know why they’re happening, or what to expect. I don’t think I’d be as fearful if there was someone to teach me. But does this mean I wish I didn’t know you? Hell, no. How do I explain it other than to say you make me feel alive, as if I had been walking through the world half asleep until you came along? I don’t want to go back to who I was before if it means being without you.” And what scares me more than anything is that I want to claim you, mark you as mine. This new me is possessive of you. Very possessive.

  Sūnder’s eyes became shiny, liquid. He blinked quickly several times, and his breath hitched as if he struggled with some strong emotion he couldn’t put a voice to. Gentle, Gabe pulled him down to brush their lips together. He ate Sūnder’s rumbling groan, hungry for more as he deepened the kiss, giving a little growl of his own.

  When Gabe finally broke away, panting and hard, he wondered what Sūnder would say to a tumble on the mats. The image of them wrestling, each vying for control, for dominance, made him shiver.

  The door to the corridor opened and one of Sūnder’s uniformed officers stepped in. From his studies, Gabe figured he, and especially Sūnder, were putting out a ton of pheromones. If that wasn’t a clue to all the sinfully decadent things Gabe contemplated doing with Sūnder on the mat, then the sight of them sprawled out with Sūnder over him removed any doubt.

  Gabe grinned when the officer cleared his throat; it sounded as if he’d swallowed his tongue. “Commander, Captain Paulo has returned.” Then the officer’s expression darkened. “With many more than just Ronan in tow.”

  “Thank you. Please take everybody to the briefing room. Gabe and I shall follow once we’re clean of sweat.”

  After the officer left, Sūnder rolled off Gabe and gave him a hand up. “Don’t tell anyone what we’ve learned today. It may be best if others underestimate you by believing you’re no more of a threat than a human would be.”

  Human. Would it be so bad if you’re not? He heard Ronan’s voice as if he were beside him, the words still shocking because Gabe did consider himself human. But he wasn’t, was he? “Agreed.”

  Sūnder’s expression softened as he wiped his chest down with a towel. “And as to what you said before, about being with me, I cannot express how pleased I am to hear that. I meant what I said on Earth: I want you to be my mate.”

  Something in Gabe’s chest tightened. “I had planned to stay anyway, to make sure this issue of the darksoul effect was resolved. There’s no reason for any faeborn to live in fear of a darkhunter murdering them. If I accomplish that, you’ll have potential suitors lined up outside your door ready to woo you. How can you be sure you’ll still want me when you could have someone of your own race?” Gabe felt foolish voicing his worries. Expressing them made him sound like a complete idiot, as if he lacked belief in himself. Was this how he’d approached his life? Playing it safe because he had so little confidence when it came to love? Staring up at Sūnder, he vowed he wouldn’t walk the safe road anymore, because here before him stood someone he’d fight for.

  Sūnder ran the ridges of his nose along Gabe’s cheek, then whispered in his ear. “There are none who could tempt me away from you. I shall be vigilant until you are sure of me, because you are the only one I want. You will see once we reach home, Chándariāns will not act like the humans have and dismiss you so stupidly. They, too, will recognize you as the treasure you truly are.”

  With a last nip to Gabe’s earlobe, Sūnder pulled away, the smug smile playing on his lips saying that he knew a secret. Together, they gathered their shirts and went to Sūnder’s cabin to shower. As Gabe was drying off, he noticed Sūnder wince when he rubbed the towel over his abdomen.

  “Did you pull a muscle? Did I hurt you?” For a split second, Gabe had a flash back to his mother hitting his father in the face. She’d said those very same words, but mockingly. His stomach roiled with nausea. He wasn’t like her. Shoving the memory away, Gabe went to Sūnder.

  “No, nothing we did in the training room caused me physical harm.” His slow grin heated with banked desire, so easy for Gabe to read. “Being—what is the word? Manhandled?—by you was quite arousing.”

  Gabe pushed the towel aside and carefully ran his fingertips over Sūnder’s torso. “Tell me if I press on something that hurts.”

  “I don’t hurt, exactly. It just feels tight, as if I need to stretch my muscles.”

  The horizontal stripes below Sūnder’s ribcage appeared puffy. When he probed, Sūnder stiffened but didn’t say anything. A couple of days ago he’d watched the striped slits part when he’d rubbed Sūnder there. Now, no matter how he pressed, he couldn’t find the seam. He told Sūnder as much.

&nbs
p; “Perhaps you should see Dr. Lashūl. I think when I rubbed my semen on your stomach, some got in there. Perhaps the area is infected?”

  Sūnder brushed Gabe’s hands aside. “I’m sure it is fine. I think it’s only muscle pain from the battle the other day. Outside of sparring, I haven’t fought hand-to-hand like that in a very long time. But I shall see Lashūl later if it will appease you.”

  “It would,” Gabe pressed.

  “Then I shall take care of it after we meet with Paulo, Ronan, and whoever else Paulo brought back with him.”

  Guilt stabbed at Gabe. Knowing Ronan was aboard the ship, and safe, he hadn’t balked about not going to Ronan right away. Instead, he’d allowed himself to be thoroughly distracted by Sūnder. A small part of him wanted to avoid the confrontation he knew would come. Ronan had known Gabe wasn’t strictly human and had never once said a word.

  Sūnder drew Gabe into his arms. “You are worried. I can smell it, read it on your face. Are you afraid Ronan has betrayed you?”

  “I want to say no, but everything I was sure of before has turned out to be false. Ronan is like a brother to me. He’s the only true family I’ve had since my grandmother passed away,” Gabe confided.

  “Sometimes families do things they aren’t proud of to protect those they love. I don’t know Ronan well, only what you’ve told me about him, but if he kept things from you, there must be a reason. Give him a chance to explain.”

  Gabe nodded before slipping a shirt over his head. They finished dressing quietly, and were standing outside the briefing room in no time.

  Gabe appreciated that Sūnder paused, not opening the door right away. “When you’re ready.”

  He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and put steel in his spine. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  The door swished open and the sense of wrongness hit Gabe immediately. Ronan, Captain Paulo, a Faelÿn, SilverHand A’ymon, and three faeborn males were gathered at the rear of the room around what resembled a fainting couch. All three faeborn were ill, but one more so than the others.