Who'd Have Thought

by G. Benson

  “Okay, fine. We haven’t yet. But, two: sex is not everything, and I’m actually a bit disappointed in you for implying that it means I can’t marry her.”

  “Hayden.” Luce’s lips were quirking, as if they couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. To be honest, neither could Hayden. “Okay. You’re right. That’s bullshit. Sex doesn’t have to exist or be there for it to be real. I’m wrong on that part. But, well, what I wanted to imply by that, and I did it wrongly, was—” God, Hayden loved Luce. They were so understanding, and Hayden was sitting here, lying to their face “—that this is fast.”

  “I know it’s fast.”

  Luce visibly relaxed.

  “Come on, Luce,” Hayden continued. “I’m not an idiot. I know it’s fast.”

  “Okay. Good. I was worried there. But I thought you didn’t like marriage?”

  “I didn’t.” She still didn’t. “But it… I told you, we clicked. It, it just makes—I don’t know—sense.”

  Judging from the look on Luce’s face, it made anything but sense. Which was true. However, Hayden wasn’t allowed to say that. Or couldn’t she?

  “Look, I know it sounds crazy, and insane. And yeah, before you say it, I know those two words mean the same thing. But you know me. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it was the best thing.”

  And that was easy to say. Because that was true.

  “Okay, look.” Luce looked as if they were searching for the right words. “You’re the most sensible person I know in a lot of respects, your sarcasm aside. But, Hayden, this…” their gaze turned intense as they lowered their voice, “… This is ridiculous.”

  “I know it seems that way. But really, I know what I’m doing. This is right. For me. For, for us.”

  Us. Because marriage meant being part of an us.

  And none of those words made the scrunched-up look of concern go away from Luce’s face. “I… Like, in no way can I tell you what to do with your life. I’d never presume to, either. But Hayden, this seems way too fast. You two don’t even seem…”

  “Seem what?”

  “You don’t even seem like a couple. Or how I’ve seen you act before, in a couple. I thought you were really friends, and maybe you were into her scary, older-boss vibe.”

  What to say to that? For some stupid reason, Hayden hadn’t thought Luce would look that deeply into it. But the two of them were friends. Close friends. Of course Luce would. If the situation were reversed, Hayden would be saying the same thing. And while she and Sam had tried to appear comfortable with each other, or more so, clearly they hadn’t hit the mark.

  A watch beeped, and Luce looked down at their wrist.

  “We have to go. Break’s over. Can we talk more about this later?”

  Saving Hayden from trying to over explain this and make even more of a mess of it? Sure. Hayden nodded, and Luce picked up their cup. She followed them to the elevators, a weird silence falling between them.

  Well. She’d told her friend. It was getting real.

  Considering that tomorrow, she was getting a marriage license, it was already real.

  Luce didn’t look away from the closed doors of the elevator, and Hayden stared at Luce, searching their face for anything.

  Just shock. And that weird almost smile that made Hayden realize that Luce didn’t believe it.

  Shit.

  Real was scary.

  ~ ~ ~

  On Hayden’s lunch break, instead of eating a proper lunch like she really should have been doing—she was starving and eating a banana faster than was probably healthy—she went to Neuro, hoping Sam would be there. She could be anywhere, really. The neuro ward, in post-op, in surgery, in her office, in consult, on any ward that happened to have a patient who needed a neurosurgeon.

  Luck was with her, though, because Sam was there.

  She was leaving a patient’s room with Leon and an equally twitchy-looking resident, who were both tapping furiously at tablets while Sam’s gaze stayed on the patient’s notes in her hands. She said something, sidestepping a nurse pushing a medication trolley down the corridor, and both the minions scurried away, heads together. Hayden stood and waited for Sam to look up, which she only did when there were a few yards between them.

  Sam halted, holding the notes to her chest. “Good afternoon.”

  “Hey, Sam.”

  “Is everything okay? I didn’t even know you knew there was a world outside the ER.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Sometimes.”

  “I, uh. I only have a minute. Can you talk?”

  Sam tilted her head, eyeing her, before finally saying, “Okay. Wait here a moment.”

  And she disappeared down the corridor and behind the nurses’ station. Hayden propped herself against the wall and crossed her arms, waving at a nurse she very vaguely recognized who rushed past to a patient’s room. Sometimes, Hayden came into the wards and marveled at the calm. She wasn’t naïve. She knew working on a ward was incredibly busy. Yet still, there was a stark difference between the ER and a ward. Fewer people, fewer voices, less noise, less hectic activity.

  But nothing would make Hayden give up the ER. She loved it there.

  She watched Sam speak to the coordinator, who wrote down everything she said. Sam buried her hands in her lab coat pockets, like always, and walked down to meet Hayden, who straightened.

  “Follow me.”

  Hayden did. They went up a flight of stairs and through some winding corridors that Hayden had never been in. Offices. She’d never had a need.

  They ended up in one of them, which was meticulously neat. The papers and pens on Sam’s desk were lined up in perpendicular patterns. The walls were like any office in the hospital probably were: boring white.

  Sam sat on the edge of her desk and crossed her arms. “Sit down if you want.”

  Hayden didn’t. She had too much nervous energy. Instead, she stood next to it, keeping a respectable distance between them. “I’m fine here.”

  “What did you want to talk about?”

  Swallowing, Hayden wasn’t sure how to answer. She’d suffered through four busy hours after her conversation with Luce, aware at times of Luce’s puzzled expression. She’d kept replaying their conversation and the utter disbelief that Sam and Hayden needed to remedy. “Well, I told Luce. My friend.”

  “Your friend who’s non-binary.”

  “Uh, yes.”

  “I’ve been reading about it.”

  Hayden, who had opened her mouth to launch into the nervous babble she had in her head, snapped it shut. “You have?”

  “I realized it was something I knew nothing of, not really. Not enough. So I went home and got on my laptop. After making a mess of our conversation at the first dinner we had, when I pushed too hard about your job, I didn’t want to ask you the wrong questions.”

  “Oh.”

  Sam had gone home and researched it so she’d understand more? And had purposefully tried not to annoy Hayden?

  “It was interesting,” Sam said.

  “Gender is pretty interesting.”

  Sam nodded. “Like I said, I hadn’t realized. I’ve noticed you use ‘person’ a lot, and other words, when other people would have said man or woman. And now I know why.”

  “Yeah, well, when I met Luce, I knew some things about it. But I’ve learned a lot the last few years. I’m still learning, though. Always will be, I think.”

  “So, was there something you needed? I imagine you don’t have long.”

  Hayden’s brain stumbled to catch up. “Uh, yeah. Like I said, I told Luce.”

  “I don’t imagine that was an easy conversation.”

  Hayden gave a bark of a laugh. “Yeah, well, I was trying to convince them I want to get married after a month with someone I never really li—uh, knew.” Sam’s lip twitched, but she didn’t look insulted. Hayden grimaced, but with a smile she hoped was at least charming. “So, convincing them of that isn’t easy.”

 
“I’m not surprised. Do you think they’ll be understanding?”

  “Luce always is. But I think some of the problem is that, well, we’re not selling it.”

  “Selling what?” There was that small furrow in the middle of Sam’s brow.

  “That we’re at a point where we want to get married. Or even, you know, like each other.”

  “Oh.”

  The room was really quiet, the buzzing of the air conditioner too loud. Hayden swallowed. “So I think we need to be more convincing. At some point.”

  “You mean, affectionate?” Sam’s cheeks had gone a little pink. Not surprising. Hayden’s were hot.

  “Yeah, basically.”

  Sam pursed her lips. “That’s absurd. In any relationship I’ve had, I’ve never been outwardly affectionate. Privacy is fine.”

  Hayden raised her eyebrows. “Were you trying to convince people, for some super-top-secret reason I don’t know, that the relationship was real?”

  Sam deflated at that. “No.”

  “Thought as much.”

  They stared at each other again.

  “So. We need to try to seem more like a, a real couple.” Sam Thomson, flustered? It would be funnier if Hayden wasn’t as well. “Whatever that means.”

  “Yeah,” Hayden said. “Yes. Maybe we can, I don’t know, talk about it more next week? Or start next week? After we sign.”

  Sam took in a deep breath. Because apparently the idea of having to touch Hayden was that terrible. Nice. “Yes. Okay. I’ll have to rush Monday and Tuesday due to work, so we could, I don’t know, have Luce over for dinner, or go out with them somewhere after work. Once you’re settled into my—in the apartment.”

  This was such a mess. “Yeah. Sounds fine. A rushed wedding. Sounds romantic?” Hayden winked, and Sam gave a short laugh.

  “Yes. Very.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. At the clerk’s office to get the license.”

  “See you tomorrow, Hayden.”

  And Hayden turned and tried not make it obvious she was fleeing the awkwardness.

  CHAPTER 8

  Night shift might suck, but the assurance of a day off beforehand was always a fun part of it. But this day off was going to be spent packing. Right after Hayden got, you know, a marriage license.

  Something she’d never thought she’d need.

  The subway was particularly full, being so early on a Monday. But the clerk’s office opened at nine, and they wanted to get there as early as they could. They were so in love and eager to tie the knot, after all.

  Someone jammed into Hayden’s side sneezed, and Hayden wrinkled her nose and angled herself away from them. She was surrounded by sick people all day; she didn’t need gross subway-sneeze germs. Looking around the graffitied cabin of the subway line and all the people crammed in next to each other like disgruntled penguins, it wasn’t hard to imagine this as ground zero for the next bubonic plague. The person behind her hocked something back so loudly Hayden had to cover a gag.

  She hated the subway. She used the bus to get to work, but it would have taken forever to get into the clerk’s office. A bus followed by the subway had been the only option.

  Closed-in spaces sucked in general, but this was especially bad.

  Twenty minutes later, she stumbled into fresh air and weak morning sunshine, and took a deep breath. People bustled past her, focused on getting to wherever they were headed. A definite Monday-morning gloom hung in the air. The traffic was thick on the road, mostly cast in shadow, thanks to the high-rise buildings and skyscrapers lining the streets.

  Taking a second to get her bearings, Hayden turned and headed down one of the streets. She only walked for five minutes before she found the building she was after. A few people were milling around outside, waiting for it to open. Sam was one of them.

  “Hey.” Hayden tried to smile. It was early, and her day off, so “tried” was an appropriate word for it.

  “Good morning.”

  Sam was bundled in a black coat, making her skin seem even paler. Outside of the hospital, she always looked different.

  “I brought the papers.” Hayden fished around in her bag, groping past her phone and wallet until she found the documents in question. “I spoke with the lawyer I found days ago like you asked me to, and he said they were all locked tight to the specifications I said. So here.” Hayden held them out in their plastic sheet and ignored Sam’s slight eye twitch as she caught sight of their rumpled state. “One, uh, prenup. The secret to a happy marriage.”

  “Thank you.” Sam tried to smooth out the sheets, and Hayden barely managed not to smirk. “And you ensured the bill would be sent to me?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  “No thanks necessary. This is part of it.” Sam tucked the papers into her bag and pulled out another set. “This has the confirmation number to show I applied for us online, so our appointment will be much faster. Thanks for sending your details the other night.”

  “No problem.”

  “Your last name was changed years ago?”

  “Yeah.”

  Thankfully, before Sam could ask any more questions, the doors opened. They quickly walked in and stepped up to one of the machines that would give them a number. Someone had managed to get in before them, so Hayden waited, barely able to stop herself from tapping her foot. Sam didn’t manage to hide her impatience at all as she pursed her lips and crossed her arms tightly. Their arms brushed, and Hayden wanted to laugh that her reaction to that was to step away from the person she was about to get a marriage license with.

  This was all quite ridiculous. Luce was completely right.

  In the line next to them, two people had gone through, and still Sam and Hayden were waiting. The man in front of them muttered something, and Hayden realized what the problem could be.

  “¿Quieres que te ayude?” Hayden stepped up next to him to offer him help.

  He turned to her, relief all over his deeply lined face. “Sí, por favor.”

  She quickly found out what he needed, hit the back button on the machine, flipped the language to Spanish, and made sure he was okay navigating.

  “¡Muchas gracias!”

  He headed to the waiting area, and Hayden, trying not to squirm, tapped the button that said marriage license, and the computer spat out a piece of paper. Sam grabbed the ticket, and Hayden followed her to the waiting room before sitting down on one of the hard plastic chairs.

  “What number did we get?” she asked.

  Sam held the ticket up. “Seven.”

  “That’s a low number, and yet I feel like we’re going to be surprised at how we’ll end up waiting here for hours.”

  “I hope not.” Sam crossed her legs and somehow looked put together even in this weird, plastic environment. Hayden straightened and tried to pretend she did too. “I could only get my shift covered for a few hours and have to work late to make up for it.”

  “Here’s hoping.” Hayden chewed her lip, then made herself stop. Calm.

  They sat next to each other in silence, Hayden shifting every now and again to ignore the bite of the hard plastic under her butt. The room had filled up, all types of people sitting around, glaring at the screen that announced what number was next and which desk they had to go to. A few couples sat canoodling, one wrapped around each other and giggling.

  Most likely there for marriage licenses too, then. One girl sat with her stomach rounded in front of her, a boy sitting next to her. His leg was bouncing up and down, and the girl’s face was starkly white. They didn’t look old enough to even apply to be married.

  “Any good cases lately?” Hayden asked, purely for something to say.

  “Actually, we just got a patient with a really rare tumor. We operate this evening.”

  So Leon had gotten his tumor. “What makes it so rare?”

  That conversation kept them going for the next while as it bounced from the current case to some of the cases they’d had over the years.

&n
bsp; “So why did you choose neurosurgery?” Hayden ended up asking.

  “Our number is on the screen.”

  Hayden whipped her head around. “Already?”

  But Sam was already up and walking toward the desk indicated on the screen. How had the time passed that quickly? Apparently, she enjoyed talking about work outside of the hospital more than she’d realized.

  It wasn’t until she sat down across from a man with his belly overflowing over his belt that Hayden remembered why they were there.

  Right. Marriage certificate.

  “Did you apply online?” he asked, his eyes glued to his computer.

  “Yes.” Sam slid the piece of paper across the desk. “This is our confirmation number.”

  He took the paper, typed it into the computer, and finally looked at them after one very slow minute. “Identification?”

  They both pulled out their photo identification, birth certificates, social security information, and the multitude of other things required and passed them over. He looked them all over, eyes bouncing from the paper in front of him to his computer, comparing the data.

  Eventually he gave a nod. “All in order.” He hit a button and looked at them again. “The certificate is processing.”

  It was over so quickly it left Hayden’s head spinning.

  Something warm dropped on Hayden’s knee, and she jumped, trying to cover it up when she realized it was Sam’s hand. Her heart in her throat, she looked at Sam, but Sam’s attention was on the man.

  “Thank you,” Sam said. “We’re very excited.”

  Hayden shut her gaping mouth and forced a smile on her face. “Yes. Very.”

  Sam’s hand was so warm it felt like it was going to burn through Hayden’s jeans. Was that normal? Heat was crawling out from the spot. Sam’s hand was on her knee. Thomson’s hand was on her knee. Her hand.

  Hayden’s life had officially entered the twilight zone.

  The man twisted around, plucked out some paper that had finally emerged from the printer, and slid it over with two pens.

  “Please confirm all the information is correct.”

  Sam left her alarmingly warm hand in place while she looked the paper over and signed at the bottom; Hayden signed it on her line. It was official.