I’ll Be Home for Christmas_An Out of Line Novella

by Jen McLaughlin

  She didn’t need that in a man. She needed me to be strong.

  “Hey, Ginger,” I said, smiling even though she couldn’t see me because I swear to God she could tell when I was faking it if I didn’t. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

  She scoffed. “As if.”

  “What’s up?” I asked lightly.

  “They moved your flight up?”

  I let out a laugh. “Stalking the site?”

  “Of course,” she said, her voice tight. “I can’t sleep until I know you’re on your way home to me.”

  I rubbed the spot between my eyebrows. “What did I tell you?”

  “That you’ll be home for Christmas, but—”

  “No buts.” I gripped my phone. “Nothing, not rain, snow, storms, bombs, accidents, or acts of nature can keep me from getting home to you, Carrie. I’m coming home.”

  I heard her take a deep breath. I could picture her sitting in our bed, her eyes closed and her lips parted on a sigh. It was like I was with her, in that bed, and this was all just a nightmare I’d dreamed up in the middle of the night. “Okay.”

  “I love you, and I’ll see you soon.” I hesitated. “I promise.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Turning back to my group, I watched as Hernandez sat and stretched out, yawning long and wide. He looked seconds from falling asleep, and I wished I could join him, but I wouldn’t be. If something went south, and our flight got cancelled, we needed a plan B.

  I had to be awake to make one.

  “Get some sleep, Ginger. I plan on keeping you up late tomorrow night.”

  She let out a low laugh. “Is that another promise?”

  “You know it.”

  I could practically hear her smile through the other end of the phone. “I look forward to collecting on that.”

  “I look forward to delivering on that.”

  Nine

  Carrie

  The sound of the bedroom door flying open and slamming against the wall brought me into consciousness abruptly, and I sat up, gasping, my hand on my chest. For a second, just a second, I’d magically travelled back to that awful time when some crazy dude shot me in my own foyer and I almost died. It took me a while to come out of that huge hole, and I had no intention of ever crawling back into its darkness again.

  I stared at the intruder, confused at first because it wasn’t a child like I’d expected. It took me a minute to focus on the face of the person gesturing wildly at me, pale and wide eyed. My heart pounded so hard from the scare that it took me a second to focus on the actual words coming out of her mouth. “Get up!” Noelle cried, tears running down her face.

  Blinking, I tossed the covers back and threw my legs over the side of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

  “Didn’t you see it?” she cried, obviously too distraught to remember she’d woken me up from a dead slumber.

  “See what?” I asked gently, crossing the room to place a hand on her shoulder.

  She shrugged me off. “The plane. There was an accident—”

  My heart dropped to my stomach. “No.”

  “It tried to take off in the snow, but slid off the runway, and crashed into another plane. It…they…” She covered her face, choking on a sob. “There were deaths, unconfirmed amounts.”

  My throat closed up, and I staggered back. Without a word, I raced to my phone, picking it up. It took me three tries to unlock it, and another three to call Finn. I trembled so badly I almost dropped it as it rang, and rang, and rang…without an answer.

  Eyes wide, I hung up and immediately tried again. With each ring of the phone, I tried to reassure myself he was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine.

  Ring.

  He’s not hurt.

  Ring.

  He’s not dead.

  Ring.

  He’s okay.

  Ring.

  He’s just unable to answer.

  Ring.

  He promised he’d be home.

  Ring.

  He never broke his promises.

  Voicemail.

  I listened to his voice, tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks. When it beeped, I managed to speak. “Finn. Tell me you’re okay. Call me. I need you to…I need you.”

  Hanging up, I looked at Noelle. She was as much of a wreck as I was, and also held her phone to her ear. “Riley, don’t you dare do this to me like he did. Don’t you dare. Call me.”

  It was then that I remembered her past, and the fact that she’d lost her husband on her wedding night. He’d been hit by a drunk driver. Seeing the hollow look in her eyes as she hung up and called him again hit me hard, and I swallowed past my own fear.

  She needed me. Needed reassurance.

  I made my way over to her, pulling her into my arms. She held the phone to her ear, letting it ring, as I smoothed my hand down her hair, trying to comfort her…and myself.

  “Shh. It’s okay. They’re fine.”

  Riley’s voice picked up on the other line, but it was only his voicemail.

  She hung up and started calling him again, but I took the phone out of her hand and set it down. She tried to grab for it again, but I pushed her hand away. “Leave it. What if he’s trying to call?”

  “He’s got to be okay.” She rested her head on my shoulder, sniffing. “They need to be okay, Carrie.”

  I nodded, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I know.”

  “Look, I know it’s Christmas Eve and all, but isn’t it too early for—?” Marie came in, yawning, half asleep. She took one look at us and woke up instantly. “What’s going on?”

  “The plane. There was an accident.”

  She paled, not moving. “Have they called?”

  “No, and they’re not answering.”

  She covered her mouth, eyes wide. “Were they all on the plane?”

  “Y-Yes, I think so,” I said, swallowing hard and hugging Noelle closer as she sobbed. I was as devastated as her, but it was kind of my job to take care of people. I couldn’t turn off the fact that Noelle needed a person to lean on right now, and that person was going to be me.

  But Finn.

  Marie snapped out of it and rushed toward us, pulling us both into her arms. “Guys, they’re fine. I’m sure they just can’t turn their phones on yet, or something. Or they got lost…”

  I closed my eyes.

  Noelle sniffed and pushed back, eyeing me. “I’m sorry, Carrie. I’m sure you’re even more upset than me. He’s the father of your children…”

  I shook my head. “That doesn’t make me more upset than you. I’m sure we’re both the same…but we have to have faith they’re okay. If Finn was gone…I’d know it in here.” I touched my chest. “He’s not gone.”

  She sucked in a breath. “I don’t feel it, either. Last time…”

  “Did you feel it?” Marie asked.

  “I did.” She swallowed and pushed her dampened hair off her cheeks. “But I don’t now.”

  “Me either.”

  Marie nodded. “They’re fine. I’m sure of it.”

  “Try calling your dad,” Noelle suggested. “I’ll try my father-in-law.”

  “And I’ll try Hernandez,” Marie added, bolting out of the room.

  I walked toward my phone while Noelle grabbed hers.

  “Carrie?” Noelle said, her voice thick.

  Facing her, I calmed my features. “Yeah?”

  “Thank you. I’m sorry for falling apart on you like that.”

  I shook my head and picked up my phone. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

  She inclined her head at me.

  We both dialed.

  Ring.

  Please answer.

  Ring.

  Be okay.

  Ring.

  Come home.

  Ring.

  ANSWER.

  It wasn’t until the voicemail picked up and I heard Finn’s voice that I realized I’d called the wrong number. I was supposed to be calling my father. I closed my eyes an
d listened to his voice anyway. I’d been next to him when he recorded this message, and if I listened closely enough, I could hear Susan giggling in the background as she tried to snatch his phone out of his hand so he couldn’t play on it, since she had been waiting for him to read to her.

  Tears burned, but I blinked them back.

  After the phone beeped, I hung up. This time, I called the proper number, but was greeted with the same outcome. Voicemail—this time, my father’s. I listened to his warm, professional tone, then swallowed hard at the beep. “Dad, it’s me. Call me as soon as you get this.”

  Hanging up, I took a second to compose myself before facing Noelle. We locked eyes, and both shook our heads. I opened up Finn’s location on my iPhone and let out a breath.

  Nothing.

  “No one is answering,” Noelle whispered.

  I frowned down at my screen that wouldn’t show me where my husband was. “Think of it this way. If they’re all not answering, maybe it’s a good sign. Like, you know, what are the chances they were all hurt? The plane was still on the ground when it crashed. It can’t be that bad, right?”

  Marie came in with a purpose, remote in her hand. I wasn’t even sure where she’d gotten it from, or when she’d picked it up. She flipped the TV on. Within seconds, she flipped it to CNN, but they were talking about the President’s visit to Africa, not the plane crash. “Come on,” she muttered, shaking the remote as if that would fix it.

  The screen flashed, and it changed to the plane crash. I moved closer, staring at the fire on the screen with horror as the newscaster spoke. “Tragedy struck in Utah, when a plane took off in icy conditions, slamming into each other. Reports say the plane skidded out of control. The sound of screeching tires and scraping metal could be heard from inside the airport. There are preliminary confirmed casualties of at least twenty, but we are waiting for updates from the police as to whether that is an accurate number or not.”

  I sank to the bed, staring at the screen with my heart thudding against my ribs.

  Noelle sagged against the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  Marie stood in shock, staring at the TV.

  “Mommy?” a tiny, all too familiar voice said.

  Marie jerked, turning the TV off.

  I stood up, smoothing my hands over my cheeks, and let out a long breath. By the time I turned around, I was as calm as I could hope to be under these circumstances. “Hey, baby. You’re up early.”

  She rubbed her eyes and came toward me. Holding her favorite stuffed cat by the tail in her left hand, she yawned. “I heard voices. Is Daddy home yet?”

  “N-No. Not yet. It’s just us,” I said, forcing a smile. “You hungry?”

  She nodded, pouting. “I want Daddy to come home and feed me. I want to wait for him.”

  My heart twisted. What if… what if he never got to do that again?

  What if he didn’t come home?

  My breath got stuck in my chest, and I started heaving, trying to breathe.

  “Mommy?” Susan asked, her little face crumbling. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m…I’m fine,” I gasped, faking a cough. “I just…”

  Marie must’ve noticed how close I was to losing it, because she rushed forward and grabbed Susan, pulling her into a tight hug in her arms. “Can I make you eggs? I make the best eggs ever.”

  Susan smiled up at her. “Okay. I like eggs.”

  Marie walked off with my daughter, and I covered my face, taking a shuddering breath. I couldn’t lose it in front of my kids. Not now. Not ever. I rested my forehead on the wall, closing my eyes and counting in my head. One. Two. Three. Finn was fine. Four. Five. Six. He wouldn’t leave me like that. Seven. Eight. Nine. We were going to grow old together, and rock in our rocking chairs with grandkids on our laps and the sunsets at our backs. Ten.

  He promised me he’d be home for Christmas.

  Ten

  Carrie

  The next hour passed ridiculously slow. It was filled with constant phone checks, a lot of CNN web browsing since I didn’t want the kids to see the crashed airplane on TV. Susan ate three helping of Marie’s eggs, which she tried to get me and Noelle to eat, but we both just pushed them around on our plates and thanked her for the delicious breakfast.

  Our coffees went equally untouched.

  Susan was now in the living room watching some show about mermaids living on earth and hiding their true identity, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember the name of it. Marie sat beside her, braiding her hair, and Noelle stared straight ahead without blinking. She’d gotten dressed, and every time there was a noise at the door, she jerked and jumped to her feet.

  No one was ever there.

  I unlocked my phone for the millionth time, checking for any updates or messages. Still no more news on the plane. Still no texts from my husband. Still nothing.

  Aggravated, I tossed the phone onto the couch, glancing down at Cory as he scooted on his butt to my feet and touched my leg. “Hey, buddy.”

  He smiled up at me, completely oblivious to the pain piercing through me, and tugged on my pants. As I bent down to pick him up, two things happened simultaneously.

  One: Noelle’s phone rang.

  And two: The front door opened.

  We all froze, staring at one another.

  “Is it—?” I started.

  “It’s him!” she cried, lurching to her feet.

  I stood, too, staring at my own phone, willing it to ring.

  It wasn’t until Susan stood up, taking off for the door and yelling “Daddy!” that I remembered the door had opened, too. I’d told her Daddy was coming home today before she went to sleep last night, so it was no surprise she assumed it would be him.

  Don’t get your hopes up.

  Trembling, I slowly followed her. My heart thudded double my footsteps pace. As I rounded the corner, I stopped mid-step, my eyes glued to the man I loved. He held Susan in a bear hug, swinging her in his arms and laughing as she squealed in delight. He stood in the doorway, the smile on his face easily the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I couldn’t look away.

  He was so wrapped up in Susan that he didn’t even see me.

  “Hey, Pumpkin! I told you I’d be home soon.”

  She pulled back and cupped his cheeks with her tiny hands, like he always did to her. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.” He kissed her nose. “And your mom and brother. Where are they?” H scanned the foyer, landing on me, and his smile brightened. “There she is.” He started my way, grinning, and whispered to Susan. “Mommy’s turn for some kisses.”

  I choked on a sob, covering my mouth.

  He stopped dead in his tracks, his jaw dropping. “Why are you crying—?”

  Marie hurried in and practically dragged Susan off Finn’s chest kicking and screaming, as he stared at me like he’d seen a ghost. Funny, I felt the same way.

  After we were alone, he took a step toward me, his face ashen. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Is Cory okay?”

  “Cory is fine,” I bit off, torn between screaming at him for not calling me and being so frigging grateful he was here and alive that I didn’t dare to be angry. “Everyone is fine, apparently.”

  He blinked. “Are you angry with me?”

  “Why didn’t you call me back?”

  “I didn’t know you called me,” he said slowly. “Our phones were off for the flight, and I was so excited to get here that I just got in the car and waited to see you in person to let you know I was coming home early.”

  I choked on another sob, and took off running for him, hitting his chest. “You stupid, stupid man.”

  “I—” He jumped in surprise, catching my arms and blinking at me. “What the hell—?”

  I sobbed and threw myself into his arms, hugging him so tight that I hurt my arms.

  “Carrie, baby.” He smoothed my hair back, hugging me. “Are you okay? What the hell is happening right now?”
/>   I buried my face in his chest and breathed in tight. “I thought you were dead.”

  “Dead?” His forehead wrinkled. “What? Why?”

  Riley came in behind him, holding his phone. “Apparently our original plane crashed.”

  “What?” Finn cried.

  “Our wives apparently spent the first part of Christmas Eve thinking we were dead.” He shoved his phone into his pocket and opened his arms. Noelle came out of nowhere, and he caught her effortlessly. Over her head, he looked at me and Finn. “Good news, we’re not. Merry Christmas.”

  Noelle half-laughed, half-sobbed.

  I just kept hugging my husband, not letting go.

  He came home to me.

  Finn dragged me away into the formal sitting room for privacy. As we settled onto the chaise lounge, he put me on his lap and kissed me everywhere he could. My forehead. My cheeks. My lips. My chin. My hair. Everywhere he could reach, he kissed, taking away the tears and the pain with each one. After I settled down, he pulled back and cupped my cheeks, staring down at me with a tender smile and an intent look in his eyes that stole my breath away.

  “Ginger…” He’d been calling me that since the day we met. Hearing it now was like music to my ears. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  I nodded, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “I thought I lost you.”

  “I never wanted to scare you like that. I had no idea about that plane…I didn’t have my phone on. We got an earlier flight out, and we left in the middle of the night. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you with my early arrival as part of a Christmas present.”

  I laughed, wiping my cheeks even though they were already dry. “Well, you surprised me, all right.”

  “Apparently,” he said, grinning. “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for.” I touched his chest, my hands trembling. He was real. He was here. He was solid. He was safe. I rested my forehead on his, breathing deep. “You came home to me.”