Maybe her problem was that she’d hadn’t been with a man in what seemed like forever and sexual frustration was playing mind games with her. Clay and she hadn’t gone further than some steamy kisses; a status quo he’d made obvious that he was willing to change. They’d been dating several months now and she was a thirty year old mother. It’s not like she was a virginal bride, innocent of what happened between a man and woman. She knew the pleasures a man could bring her body and missed them.
Pulling out her phone, she dialed Clay’s number before she could change her mind.
“Hi gorgeous.”
She grinned, picturing him on the other line, balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder while he finished whatever it was he was doing. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Closing up in an hour then going home to dream of you.”
Laughing at his cheesy line, she wasn’t sure if he meant it as a joke. “Why dream when you can have the real thing?” she teased in what she hoped came out as a sultry voice. She was rather unpracticed in the art of seduction. A clank sounded and she knew he’d set down whatever was in his hands. She had his full attention.
“Just what are you proposing?” he asked, his voice lowering.
“Come over around nine and you’ll find out,” she flirted.
“Just to clarify, before I get all worked up, are you serious?
She chuckled. “Absolutely.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Oh, and Clay, drop by the drugstore first.”
She hung up laughing, at his long drawn out ‘ohhhhhhh’.
A movement on the security camera caught her attention. A small compact car pulled up to the driveway, and what seemed to be two young women stepped out. Hmm, Allie hadn’t mentioned a group of women arriving. She went out to the front desk to greet them.
They stepped inside, laughing and chatting, quieting when they spotted her. Both had reddish hair, not too dark and not too bright, just the right shade that drove men crazy.
“Hi, we’re the Mackey’s,” the taller one stepped forward to announce.
Oh. Allie hadn’t mentioned the couple was two females. “Welcome to Whispering Winds.”
“Sorry for the short notice.” The more petite one stepped forward. “My cousin and I both graduated college this summer and are on a road trip. We decided not to make any plans and fly by the seat of our pants. Some friends told us this was a great place to stay.”
Ah, cousins. Lanie glanced down at the forms Allie had already completed to see which room they’d been assigned. Of course; one with a single queen bed, as they’d been expecting a couple. She’d have to switch rooms on them and pray another one was ready; fortunately, Whispering Winds had a great housekeeper.
“We’re glad you chose to stay with us.” She opened the folder and spread it on the counter. “This is your welcome packet. In it, you’ll find everything you need to know for your stay including meal times, ranch policies and available activities. There are maps for hiking and horseback riding if you choose. If you come with me, I’ll show you to your room.”
She led them to the stairs, pointing out the game room and dining room on the way. “At this time of year, the evenings can be pretty quiet.”
“We’re early to bed, early to rise people anyway,” the taller one she now knew as Amy, replied.
“If you are hungry or thirsty, there are vending machines in the game room. We also have light snacks available in the foyer.” Approaching the door to their reassigned room, Lanie held her breath. Cautiously, she opened the door, relieved to find it in immaculate condition. “This will be your room for the length of your stay.”
“It’s quaint and charming, just as our friend said,” the shorter one, Jan, exclaimed. “It’s absolutely darling.”
Lanie smiled inwardly. She knew who the dramatic of the two cousins was. “If you need anything, I’ll be downstairs for another half hour. Otherwise, there is a list of phone numbers to call. Someone is available at all hours, so don’t hesitate to reach out if anything should arise.”
“Thank you,” Amy replied. “And thank you for staying late to wait for us.”
“It was not a problem.” Noting they were already settling in, Lanie took her leave. She waited an appropriate amount of time, until she felt confident the cousins had successfully settled into their room.
She hurried back to her cabin in order to prepare for Clay’s visit. Tonight would be a huge step in their relationship, and with any luck, would cure her of the unsettling sensations that popped up anytime Jeremy came around. Guilt pricked at her. This would be the second time she’d used Clay’s presence to distract her from Jeremy. But was it really wrong since she enjoyed being with Clay, she reasoned. His kisses turned her on, his embrace offered solace. It’s not like she was taking advantage of her boyfriend.
Checking her phone, she saw a missed call from Jeremy; it must have been Cody calling to say goodnight. She returned the call, talking to Cody for a few minutes. Before hanging up, she spoke with Jeremy, reinforcing bedtime routines. She knew she was being a nag, but she hated having her son away from her at night, even the nights he stayed with his grandparents, a few hundred feet away from her cabin.
Satisfied that her son was fine, she undressed and took a shower. Taking her time, she shaved and scrubbed, washing with her lavender infused body wash. The hot water beating out from the showerhead felt wonderful on her tensed muscles. The conversation with Allie had her more worked up than she cared to admit. Enough. No more thoughts of anything except for her evening with Clay. He deserved her full attention; especially since she knew he wasn’t entirely comfortable with her ex-husband living at Whispering Winds now. She couldn’t blame him; if the situations were reversed she’d have some misgivings also; regardless that she trusted Clay.
Maybe the problem was that she didn’t trust herself.
After drying off, she dug through her drawers, looking for lingerie. It had been so long since she’d had reason to wear any. Unhappy with everything she found, she settled on a lacy black bra with matching panties. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. There was still a soft pouch below her waist that she’d never been able to rid herself of after giving birth. Other than that, she was content, overall, with her appearance. She wasn’t model thin, but she’d been blessed to have proportion and curves in the right places.
At eight forty-five there was a knock on the door. She grabbed her emerald green silk robe from its hook behind her door, slipped her arms through the sleeves and tied the sash around her waist. Giving herself a final appraisal through the mirror, she went to invite her guest inside. She opened the door, and Clay stood there holding out a bottle of wine.
His eyes followed the outline of her robe, a languid, appreciative smile appearing. “You are beautiful.”
“Not too bad yourself,” she quipped. “Come in.” Taking the bottle of Merlot, she carried it to the kitchen and pulled out two wine glasses.
Coming up from behind her, Clay wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his hands near her navel. His lips teased the lobe of her ear, awakening her sensual nerves. He brought one hand up to sweep aside her hair, trailing his lips down the feminine curve of her neck. Delicately, his hands maneuvered her to where his hands pressed against the small of her back and her lips were a mere inch from his. She ran her hands over his shoulders, locking them behind his neck. Their lips met in a firm kiss, building pressure as their lust grew. Clay’s tongue prodded against her teeth begging for access and she eagerly caved.
One of her hands found its way to the top of his jeans and she slid her hand in, grasping his shirt and pulling it out, allowing her to slide her palm along his torso. His chest was firm, but lacked the definition and sculpting that Jeremy boasted.
Shut up head, she silently yelled, forcing her focus back to Clay. “Let’s go to the bedroom,” she suggested, lowering her voice to a seductive tone. Threading a finger through a belt loop, she pulled him to her
room, where a candle remained lit, giving luster to a romantic hue.
Clay crooked a finger through the flimsy knot of her robe’s sash, causing it to come undone, exposing her lace. He stepped back to admire her, his eyes hooding over. Reaching out a hand, he gently slipped it between the fabric and her shoulder, giving it a careful push and sending the robe gliding down her back to puddle at the floor. Again, he wrapped his arms around her, resuming their kiss.
Everything was perfect.
But nothing felt right.
Fear took over. Jeremy was the last person she’d been with. It had been three years, but residual effects lingered. What if she disappointed Clay as well? Would he find her lacking?
She broke away. “I’m not ready for this,” she cried, embarrassed and angry at herself. Moving to the bed, she crumbled and kept mumbling, “I’m sorry.”
Stooping down, Clay picked up her robe. He came and sat down beside her, handing her the cover-up. His sweet gesture made her cry.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I thought I was ready. This is what I wanted. I’m so sorry.”
Clay put a finger to her lips. “Shh. Never apologize for not doing something you’re uncomfortable doing.”
“I didn’t mean to lead you on.”
“You didn’t, sweetheart. Everything is fine. Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll wait for you out in the kitchen. We can watch a movie or something completely neutral,” he offered.
“I’d like that,” she sniffed.
When Clay had left the room, she picked up her pillow and hugged it. Undoubtedly, her night would have gone differently if not for Jeremy’s new presence in her life. Unwrapping her arms from the pillow, she slammed it against the mattress. “Damn you, Jeremy Travers.”
She didn’t see Clay standing at her door.
“Look daddy, I made my pizza into a smiley face.”
Jeremy looked down at Cody’s slice to see he’d arranged all the pepperonis into a half circle, with two pieces of meat above that. “You sure did, buddy. Let’s give him some hair.” He picked the diced green peppers out of the cheese from his slice and lined them up over the makeshift eyes.
“We can’t forget a nose.” Cody tore off a piece of his crust and rolled it into a ball.
“Who said you can’t play with your food.” He gave his son a conspiring wink.
“This is fun. Can we do it every weekend?”
His words took Jeremy by surprise. What he wouldn’t do for nights like this all the time. He’d forgotten how much fun spending time, doing the simplest of things, with his son could be. “We’ll have to talk to your mom about that, but it’s okay by me.”
“Can we play cards yet?”
“What card games do you play?” Jeremy asked, curious why his five year old knew about card games at his age.
“Go Fish is the only game anyone will let me play with them.”
“Ahh, okay.” He breathed out a sigh of relief. He’d forgotten about the childish game.
“But I want to learn poker. That’s what adults always play.”
Jeremy stumbled on his words, barely holding back his laughter. “I think you’ll need to put a few years behind you first, Cody.”
“Please, please, please,” Cody begged.
“Your mom would tan my hide for that one. Sorry, buddy, but the answer’s no. I’ll still play go fish with you, though.”
“Hmm,” Cody deliberated. “I do like Go Fish.”
“That settles it. I should warn you that your old man was the Go Fish King when he was your age.”
Cody rolled his eyes. “You’re not that old, daddy. Not like Grandpa is, at least.”
Ruffling his son’s hair, he stood up. “Finish up eating and I’ll go find the cards.”
Two hours and about fifty rounds of Go Fish later, Cody was starting to nod off. “Time for bed,” Jeremy told him.
“But I want to stay up,” Cody whined, even as another yawn escaped.
“We have to get a good night of sleep so we can go real fishing tomorrow, remember?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Go get your pajamas on, and I’ll help you brush your teeth.”
Cody ran off and Jeremy took that time to pull out the hideaway bed on the soda. He grabbed an extra set of sheets and a blanket, remembering to grab Cody’s special pillow from the duffle bag. Reappearing several minutes later, his son was clad in dinosaur decorated pajamas.
“Ready to brush my teeth,” Cody announced.
Grabbing the toothbrush on the way, they went to the bathroom. Jeremy put some of his toothpaste on the brush then instructed Cody to open his mouth. For a full two minutes he brushed, making sure to reach all sides and angles.
“Will you tuck me in?” Cody’s sleepy voice asked.
“Yes, sir,” Jeremy answered. He carried his quickly fading son back to the living room and laid him on the unfolded bed. Cody’s eyes blinked, fighting to stay open as Jeremy tucked the sheets around him and gave him a quick hug. “Goodnight.”
“I love you, daddy.”
“I love you too. Go to sleep now,” he said, but Cody had already drifted into slumber. He flicked off the overhead light and turned on the nightlight he’d scrounged up when Lanie had said Cody could stay the night.
Retiring to his room, he sat down in bed, propping his back against the headboard. Turning on his mobile network, he thumbed through his phone. Email, nothing. Text messages, nothing. Social Media- a few new follows and likes. Figured. When the glitter fades, so does the number of people in your life. Of all the friends he’d thought he had on the circuit, J.T. was the only one who’d proven to be true. Occasionally, he’d get an obligatory phone call checking on him, or a quick email, but that was it. Everyone had their own lives, most of which revolved around the rodeo. Out of sight, out of mind.
He wasn’t going to fall into another pity party. There was a child out in the living room that meant more to him than everyone on the circuit, combined, ever could. If only he could shake the loneliness that plagued him every night. He’d no one to blame except himself. Perhaps it was time to start dating again, find a real woman, not a boost-his-ego-until-he-was-bored type. It was a thought to consider.
On impulse, he opened his text messaging app and sent a quick text to Lanie.
Cody’s out cold. Had a blast.
He waited and waited, but no response came. Picking up the latest issue of Rodeo Weekly, he read through the latest news. Current standings were as he expected them, no big surprises. He flipped to the last page then put the magazine aside, without reading all the articles. No use torturing himself over things he couldn’t change. When he thought of Cody, the edge wilted away. Being away from the rodeo wasn’t all that bad, at least not when he got to see his son every day. Turning off the bedside lamp, he slunk down under the covers. Tomorrow was a new day and he’d be spending it with Cody. That’s what really mattered.
From the nightstand, his phone vibrated and lit up. He tilted it up to see whom it was from.
-Good, Lanie had texted back.
-How was your night? He lost his fight in resisting the urge to start a conversation.
-Not good, thanks to you.
-Huh? What did the hell did she mean by that?
-Never mind
-Wth? If I did something to piss you off, just tell me
-Why wasn’t I good enough for you?
He bit his lip, the breath knocked out of him. What was going on? -That’s a conversation to have face to face
-Never mind. Forget I said anything.
-Are you okay?
-I’m fine. What time will are you bringing Cody home?
-Noon
-I’m heading to bed. Bring him to the big house. I’ll be there until one.
He placed his phone back on the nightstand then sprawled out, trying to find a comfortable position. No matter how he laid, nothing felt right. Tossing and turning, Lanie’s question haunted him. How did he explain there was nothing
wrong with her? There was no justification for his behavior. He’d been blinded by fame, became arrogant and thoughtless, taking what he wanted for the moment without a thought to whom his actions affected. If he could turn back time, he’d go back and do things differently. He’d treat Lanie with the love and dignity she deserved, stay faithful and never give her reason to leave. Too bad he couldn’t travel back in time.
A regretful sigh escaped. He rolled over and grabbed his phone again, sending a final message. –I know it’s several years late, but I’m sorry.
No response came. He hadn’t expected one.
Finally, he found a sweet spot. Closing his eyes he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the night he first met Lanie.
“Hey cowboy, nice ride tonight.”
“Thanks,” he acknowledged absently, bored with the typical bunnies who hung around.
“Is it true you picked up Royston Oil as a sponsor?”
“Yeah. The announcement was made last week.” He took another swig of the whiskey in front of him, relishing the burn as it slid down his throat.
“Did you know they slaughtered over one hundred innocent horses last year?”
That caught his attention. His head turned, seeing a gorgeous blonde. Not sultry sexy, but beautiful and wholesome, could-spend-the-rest-of-his-life-with gorgeous. “What do you mean? Something like that would have made the news.”
“They bought out a failing horse rescue last year to use the property for a new plant. As part of the purchase agreement, they agreed to rehome the aged and injured horses, but an undercover investigation proved otherwise. They’ve spent a lot of money and energy covering up their misdeeds.” The blond spoke passionately, wearing her hurting heart for the horses on her sleeve.
“Then how do you know all this?” he asked. He’d heard rumors that Royston Oil had some questionable ethics, but gaining their sponsorship was huge. However, something that big of nature would be a game-changer.
When the Glitter Fades (Cowboys of Whispering Winds) Page 6