“Anything can be found if you dig deep enough.”
“Why don’t you sit down and tell me what else you know,” he told her.
She sat down and he ordered her a light beer of her choice. The night flew by and soon the bell rang for last call. He wasn’t ready to leave her yet, but didn’t want to take her to bed. That was a lie. He’d very much like to take her to bed, but this one was different. He wanted to get to know her first.
“Can I have your number,” he asked.
“Only if you promise to look up what I told you about Royston Oil,” she bargained.
“I promise. If what you said is true, I’ll find a way to separate myself from them. I need the sponsorship, but not at the risk of sacrificing my integrity.”
She scribbled some numbers on a napkin before handing it to him. He clutched it for dear life as he watched her leave the bar.
He turned to the bartender, handing him a credit card to pay his tab. “I’m going to marry that woman.”
The bartender chuckled, then his laughter turned to a scared cry.
He awoke with a start, his hand clutching the sheet like he had been with the napkin from his dream. His mind still hazy, he wondered why the bartender began to cry. What meaning did it hold? The crying continued, calling out for mommy. Reality snapped into place. Cody was spending the night and was crying out from the living room. Jeremy pulled on his jeans and ran out to the living room. Cody was sitting straight up, tears streaming down his face.
“Mommeeeee.”
“Daddy’s here, Cody. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“The monsters are going to get me,” Cody cried out.
Jeremy sat on the thin mattress, the springs creaking underneath him. Pulling Cody to him, he wrapped his arms around him in a paternal gesture. “Shh, it was just a dream,” he whispered in a low, soothing tone.
“It was scary. They were big and furry and chasing after me with hammers,” Cody sniffled.
“Monsters aren’t real. They’re just a figment of our imagination,” Jeremy assured him.
Cody’s breathing was returning to a normal pace, the tears subsiding. When he thought his son had fallen back asleep, Jeremy tried to pry Cody’s arms from around his neck. “Will you stay with me, daddy?” a small voice asked.
“Of course. Try to get some sleep now.” With Cody in his lap, he maneuvered himself to the head of the bed, leaning against the sofa’s back and arm, settling in for the night.
The next morning he woke feeling more rested than he had in months.
The annual Fall Fest was the social event of the year in Bumblton, bringing everyone within a hundred mile radius out to participate. It was a fundraising event that brought together vendors and businesses to collaborate for a common goal. This year, all proceeds would benefit the Bumblton Education Fund, an organization created to enhance the learning capabilities of Bumblton’s children. They offered free tutoring, horse therapy, scholarships and so much more.
Whispering Winds’ contribution was a roping booth. Two of their most docile mares were brought to town for the day and they offered small children the chance to climb into the saddle and use a real lasso to rope a bovine. The cattle were wooden figures cut out and painted to look like bulls and cows. Any kid successful in the endeavor left with a prize.
Lanie had volunteered to work the first shift on Saturday, handing out prizes, not realizing that Jeremy had also volunteered to be the “cowboy.” She’d purposefully been avoiding him since she’d sent him that text last weekend. Emotionally broken texting was almost as bad as drunk texting. When he’d dropped Cody off the next day, he, thankfully, hadn’t mentioned a single word about what she’d asked. In return, she remained silent about his text apologizing. Even several years late, it meant a lot to her, though she was still fighting against the reason why it meant something.
Several of the men had come out the night before to set up their booth. They did a nice job on it, she noted; she was sure they’d draw a decent crowd. Jase’s truck pulled up towing the horse trailer behind. Jase and Trevor, one of Whispering Winds’ top ranch hands, exited the truck and unloaded the mares into the fenced off area. Jeremy pulled up a few minutes behind them. He stepped out of the truck, dressed in full cowboy regalia, for the benefit of the booth. For several moments, she stood there, staring, transported back to another time when they were happily married.
When he reached for something in the bed of the truck, she looked with approval at how the faded denim fit snuggly against his rear backside, accentuated by the gap in caramel colored fringed chaps. He turned and she saw he sported his championship buckle; she couldn’t help but smile. As far as she knew, he’d refused to acknowledge anything rodeo related since the accident. Wearing the buckle was a step in the right direction of healing. Her gaze traveled up, resting on his chest. Overtop a blue checked shirt, he wore a vest matching the chaps. Berating herself didn’t work to stop her from imagining what it would be like to unbutton the top buttons of his shirt and glide her hand over the defined lines of his chest, tracing his pecs. He walked toward her, his spurs clinking. Before he reached her, Trevor came between them, leading Jeremy off to show him something in the trailer.
“What the hell are you thinking?” Jase growled behind her.
She turned to see her brother shooting daggers with his eyes; she was surprised steam wasn’t rising from his ears. “This is getting really old,” she managed to say calmly.
“You could have fried an egg with the heat between the two of you. Don’t forget you have a boyfriend, one who treats you well. Don’t stoop to Jeremy’s level.”
Losing control, Lanie swung her arm back and slapped Jase across the cheek, leaving a bright red outline of her hand. Immediately feeling regret and knowing she’d apologize if she stayed, but not ready to make the gesture, she stomped off, away Whispering Winds’ booth. Her brother had stepped completely over the line this time, and while she felt bad for striking him, there was no excuse for what he’d said. She wandered around the fairgrounds, taking everything in, letting her mind forget, for the moment, the scene with Jase, the confusion surrounding Jeremy, and how complicated life had become.
The scent of kettle corn permeated the air, one of her favorite treats. First Church of Bumblton always sold the snack, along with fresh roasted nuts, as their contributions to the festival. Judging by the appetizing smells in the air, the yummy goodness would soon be ready for purchase. Next to the kettle corn booth, the bank had set up a pumpkin painting booth. Hundreds of pie pumpkins sat in large piles, waiting for a child to come and lay claim, giving each a personal touch. Next was an apple bobbing station, hosted by the police department. That had always been one of her favorites, but Cody wasn’t crazy about it. He was freaked out that other people’s mouths may have touched an apple. She’d never thought about that as a kid, but now that Cody pointed it out, she had to admit it freaked her out also.
There were a few more booths with games and a little further down was Clay’s stand where supplies to make scarecrows were being spread out on hay bales. Since last week, they hadn’t seen each other or talked about that night. He’d been so sweet when she abruptly brought their prelude to sex to an end, but this week he’d acted distant, or reserved at the least. She didn’t think he’d be mad, but now wasn’t so certain. Hesitantly, she walked over to greet him.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Conversation had never been this difficult for them. “Are you going to be here all day?”
“Just for the morning. Hank and Aaron will take over this afternoon.”
“Allie’s coming by at two to take over at our roping booth. Jeremy and I are manning it this morning.” Clay rose an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. “What?” she asked.
“Nothing. What are you doing when you’re done?”
“That’s what I was going to ask you. Want to do something? Cody’s staying at my parents’ tonight again. He caught on to the fact they spoi
l him when he spends the night, so he’s always asking now.”
“Sure. Just stop over and I’ll take off whenever you’re ready.”
She left Clay feeling disheartened. There was a strained politeness between them and it worried her. Emitting a growl of complete frustration, she realized she had to return to the booth. The continuing fight between her and Jase couldn’t affect her duties. With any luck, Jase wouldn’t be hanging around. Halfway back, she ran into a worried looking Jeremy.
“There you are. When Trevor and I came back, you and Jase had both disappeared.”
His nearness rattled her. All of her problems revolved around him. “I needed some time alone.” Her lips began to quiver, fighting not to cry.
“Did something happen with Jase?” His eyes narrowed, accurately guessing a part of her trouble.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“At least tell me you’re okay and then I’ll leave you alone.”
She shook her head no, knowing she’d cry if she spoke.
“Was it about me?”
She shook her head yes. Confiding in him was the last thing she needed to do. She should turn and walk away.
“Maybe I should leave. I don’t want to come between you and your family.”
“No.” she insisted, finding her voice. “Once Jase pulls his head from his ass it’ll be fine.”
Jeremy gave her a dubious look, clearly disbelieving her. “Ready to go back?”
“I think so.”
Jeremy looked at her and for a second she thought he was going to hug her. Disappointment struck her when he didn’t and once again, she chided herself for such thoughts.
Back at the booth, Jase had also returned, the imprint of Lanie’s hand still visible. Jeremy gave her a look, as if to confirm the mark was her doing. When she swiftly turned her head away, she inadvertently gave her answer. She dared to look backed, wishing she hadn’t. Jeremy’s face had went red, rage seething from him. For his certain flaws, he’d always been hard to anger. He grabbed Jase by the arm, dragging him out of public view.
“Get your hands off me,” Jase rumbled, shaking free from Jeremy’s grip, but continued to follow him.
“Watch the booth. I’ll be right back,” she told Trevor, going in the direction of the men.
She stood, unseen, at the edge of the horse trailer, listening to raised voices.
“What the hell did you say to your sister,” Jeremy yelled.
“This isn’t your business.”
“Yes it is. When I see any woman being disrespected to the point of tears, and being provoked to strike, it’s my business.”
Jase snorted. “And that’s why you slept around with every skank that came along?”
“I don’t care if you like me or not, but leave your sister be. Why are you punishing her for trying to help your home?”
“Because you are nothing but trouble. I’m not going to stand by and see her broken again.”
“How many times does everyone have to tell you that’s not going to happen? I screwed up and that’s on me.”
She wanted to punch something. Anything.
“She still love you, you know.”
Lanie bit her bottom lip to keep from yelling out, denying it, but she couldn’t. Her mouth opened, but no words came out and she remained unnoticed.
“No, she doesn’t,” she heard Jeremy answer, his voice tinged with sadness. “She wants me in Cody’s life, that’s it.”
“Think what you want, but you dare make a move toward her and I’ll make your life miserable,” Jase threatened.
“Like you’re doing to hers now?” Jeremy snarled back.
Turning and running back to the booth, Lanie didn’t want to hear more. All the excitement she felt about the fall festival was ruined. They were scheduled to open in ten minutes and she already wanted to go home. Five minutes later, Jeremy still hadn’t returned, but Jase came shamefacedly up to her.
“Can we talk?”
“No,” she answered curtly.
“Please? I hate this between us.”
“You made that choice. Eventually, we’ll talk and I’ll forgive you; but not now. You crossed too far over the line. Let this thing with Jeremy go. It’s poisoning you. If I can forgive him and move forward, so can you.”
“Can I ask one question?”
She looked at him warily, not giving a verbal answer.
“Do you still love him?’
“Go home, Jase.”
She turned her back to him, unwilling to let him see the heat rising on her cheeks. Why did everyone insist she still had feelings for him? They had a history, yes, and she cared for him because of all the good they had shared; but love? That was a strong word and not one she’d used to describe her confused feelings regarding him.
Empathy, maybe.
Tentative friendship, even.
But definitely not love.
Jeremy reappeared, whistling, acting casual like nothing happened. “Let’s get this show going.” He cast her a subtle wink, telling her he knew.
Act like everything’s fine. It was her defense mechanism that kicked in until she could sort out her problems. “Thank you,” she whispered under her breath.
By early afternoon, she’d forgotten her problems. The roping game was a success, and maintained a steady line the entire morning. Without realizing it, she found herself laughing with Jeremy, enjoying his company. They worked well together, keeping the line to a minimum while still allowing the children to have fun and not be rushed.
They were laughing at little Cole James, who’d just thrown his hat up with a whoop when he roped the fake cow, when Lanie looked over to see Clay watching her, a curious and solemn expression on his face. So engrossed in his observations, he didn’t even see her looking back at him.
“Is it two already?” she asked, striding over to him.
“Almost. We were having some downtime, so I cut out a few minutes early.”
“Look, here comes Allie. Perfect timing.”
Allie greeted her with a restrained friendliness. Great. She’d obviously spoken with Jase and gotten his side of the story.
“I guess you heard?” Lanie approached the subject, whispering in low tones.
“Yes.”
“You’re mad?”
“Not at you.” Allie sighed. “I don’t get your brother sometimes.” She started to say more but looked over, as if just noticing Clay. Closing her mouth, she walked away and took her spot at the booth.
“Are you hungry?” Clay’s eyes gazed off, looking at her but not making contact.
Nervous butterflies churned in her stomach. “Not particularly.”
He walked toward the rear perimeter of the fairgrounds where there was a small playground and picnic pavilions. The area was void of any people; everyone else was within the fairgrounds having a good time, unlike her. Leading her to a picnic table, Clay sat her down when they reached it, then sat beside her.
“We need to talk.” As if she didn’t already know, the look in his eyes said she wouldn’t like what he had to say.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I like you, Lanie. I like you a whole lot. But it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to remain a couple.”
“Why?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“There are unsettled issues between you and your ex-husband. I suspected it last week, and I didn’t want to believe it, but watching you interact with him just now confirmed it. Exes don’t look at each other like that, don’t communicate without talking.”
“We share a history. I can’t take that away.”
“I was married once and divorced, Lanie. Melissa and I occasionally exchange a brief ‘hello’ or ‘how you doing’ but that’s it. There are no sparks flying between us, no longing glances. There shouldn’t be between exes.”
“Why does everyone keep insisting there is something between Jeremy and I?” she protested.
Clay took her hands in his. “Becaus
e there is. You might not be able to see it yet, or maybe you’re trying to deny it, but for everyone’s sake figure it out.”
She chewed on the inside of her cheek. This day kept getting worse by the hour. “Thank you for being honest.”
“If you sort it out and decide things with Jeremy could never work again, come find me, okay?”
“You’re a good man, Clay.”
He nodded sadly and she realized what it had cost him to break off their relationship. Giving his hand a final squeeze, she stood up and made a run for her car before anyone could see her crying.
Sinking down into the sofa, Jeremy spread his arms over the back, propped his legs up on the coffee table and allowed himself to fully relax. Today had been fun, despite the run-in with Jase that started the morning. Far as he could tell, the fall festival was turning into a raging success. He enjoyed working with the younger kids, showing them how to throw a rope. The teaching, he found, was rewarding and fulfilling. Having a beautiful helper didn’t hurt the case at all, either.
He replayed the conversation with Jase. He’d said Lanie still loved him. Why would he say something like that? What woman in their right mind would still love someone who’d cheated on her and abandoned his vows? Still, he couldn’t stop the little nudge of hope in the pit of his heart. He didn’t deserve her; he could never make up for all the crap he’d put her through. But knowing she could forgive him? That knowledge alone made him feel alive.
Reaching down between the cushions, he searched blindly with his hand for the missing remote to the television. His hand brushed against something soft and he grabbed hold of the mystery object, lifting it up. It was the top to Cody’s dinosaur pajamas. Memories of that night brought a grin to his face. Calming Cody from his nightmare - for the first time, he’d felt like a real dad. There was hope for him after all, he thought with a hint of sarcasm.
The exhaustion he’d felt earlier evaporated. Even his leg, which had been protesting the amount of standing today, didn’t hurt so badly. An idea formed and he acted on it before he could change his mind. Taking the stray pajama top, he left his cabin, embarking on the trail which he knew led to Lanie’s place. He just wanted to see her, to have some of her goodness shift to him, just by being around her. It didn’t occur to him that she might still be out with Clay. He cringed at the thought. There was nothing directly that he had against the owner of the hardware store, but he wasn’t right for Lanie. Her eyes didn’t light up when she saw him, and he was too…passive? One day he’d make someone a good husband, but not Lanie; she needed to be with someone who could ignite the spark in her.
When the Glitter Fades (Cowboys of Whispering Winds) Page 7