Relinquished

by K. A. Hunter

  Was this finally happening? After all this time?

  My hungry eyes took in his bare chest and that enticing line of dark hair that disappeared under the waistband of his jeans. I fluttered my lashes as I glanced up at him, seeing if he was really ready for this. Even after the talk we’d had in the car earlier, I was a little nervous he would try and stop us. When I saw his large, lust-filled eyes burning holes in my tank top, my nipples tightened even more, begging for his affection.

  I could hardly contain my excitement that we were about to take this step, yet vulnerability skirted the edges. Doubt slipped into my mind that Holden might pull away. He needed to show me how far he was willing to take us, but deep down, I really just wanted to tear the rest of his clothes right off.

  As if he read my mind and without a word, he casually stood up, the delicious weight of his body leaving mine. He unbuttoned his jeans, and his eyes turned almost animalistic. I watched every sensual move he made, itching to touch all the hard contours of his body, his breathtaking abs slightly flexing when he moved to complete his task. Just like earlier in front of the elevator, I had to squeeze my legs together to relieve the ache I had for him.

  Holden kicked his clothes off to the side before placing his hands on the foot of the bed, slowly crawling up until his hips were nestled between my spread legs. His magnificent face was hovering above mine.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He traced the lines of my face with the tip of his calloused fingers, memorizing the way my lashes lay on my cheeks. I kissed his fingertips softly as they passed my lips. I felt each ridge of those fingerprints while his minty breath fluttered over my hyper-sensitive skin as he waited patiently for my answer. I would forever associate that smell with this exact moment.

  Arching off the mattress, I was beyond ready for him to take me. “Yes,” I hissed.

  Desire traveled from my lower belly to between my legs where his erection pressed against the thin material of my panties. His lips brushed mine before capturing my mouth, dominating my lips as he explored the inside with his tongue. I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him as close to me as I could, but it wasn’t enough. The sensation of my covered nipples pressing against his naked chest made me want to rip my own shirt off, but he needed to take the lead. His hands worked their way into my hair, slightly tugging, and the tingles of my scalp only increased the need to rub myself against him.

  Ever so slowly, he slipped his hands under the hem of my tank top and ran his fingers along my hipbone, sending shivers down my legs at the thought of what his grip would feel like when he sank into me. These thoughts alone were more than enough to push me closer to the edge.

  Holden pulled the material up, traveling far too slowly toward my aching breasts. I struggled to catch my breath under his passionate kiss, fighting the urge to flip us over and hurry this along. My hips moved in slow circles under his heavy weight, craving that strong friction right where I needed him most. I groaned at the touch I’d been dying to feel every night while we’d snuggle in bed together.

  He pulled away long enough to see the heated look in my eyes. Putting two words together to make a coherent thought was impossible for me now while the sensations blazed into glowing flames. My skin felt hot when I pressed my head back into the cold pillow, trying to cool my body down as my flesh felt the sizzling tingles from his attention. I planned on savoring every moment with this man, and unlike in the past, I had no intention of counting down the minutes until this was over. I wanted it to last.

  Holden smirked in a cocky way that I only found sexy on him. He trailed his lips to the sweet spot just below my ear as he groaned, “I can’t wait to finally be inside you.”

  Holy hell.

  I moaned as he ground into me, sending electric pulses to my most sensitive places. I couldn’t wait either.

  “Holy shit,” he growled. "I'm going to lose my fucking mind between the panting and knowing you’re about to scream my name."

  Oh fuck. His words, those kisses and bites on my neck, every part of me was throbbing with desperate need. His hand reached my breast, cupping the heavy round bottom while he rubbed the pad of his thumb leisurely, tweaking my fully awakened nipple. The scent of vanilla and men’s body wash filled the air. I would now forever associate that smell with this night too.

  This was so different from any other time I've had sex. I was used to men grunting filthy things at me. Even though occasionally it did make it slightly more exciting, most of the time I just felt dirty and used because of the nasty things they would say to me. The disgust consumed me, body and soul.

  But Holden wasn’t treating me like the whore I’d been called so many times before. He was showing me his love, and I couldn’t get enough.

  I wanted more.

  I needed all of him.

  Closing my eyes, I simply…let go.

  My tank top disappeared over my head, and both of his hands explored my tender breasts, caressing, squeezing them as he moved his face between their valley. He placed kisses all over my skin as I tucked my hands in his thick hair, gently encouraging him to keep going.

  He gently tugged and pinched my other aching nipple with his skillful fingers. The shock waves went directly below my belly, causing my hips to rise and seek him out. He locked his lips around my pointed peak, his teeth lightly clamping down as I felt his lips pull up to a smile against my skin as I moaned to the ceiling, no doubt proud of himself for causing my reaction. I was practically seeing stars as he gave the same attention to my other sensitive tip. My eyes squeezed shut as my breathing picked up.

  Slowly kissing his way down my stomach as chills spiked along my skin, he sat up before I could comprehend that he was near my scar. “How the hell did I get so lucky? You’re so beautiful.”

  “Mmhmm,” I mumbled, having a difficult time concentrating on his words. “I think I’m the lucky one here if you can make me feel this good all the time,” I answered breathlessly with a deep sigh.

  That sexy-ass smirk covered his lips once again while his fingers lightly trailed down my hips until he found the ties that were looped through the sides of my panties. Pulling the loose ribbons, he wrapped them around his hand. Clutching the inside seam of my panties, he slowly pulled them away and tossed them aside with our other discarded clothing, but the ribbons stayed wrapped around his fingers in a tight grip. I was completely naked for him. I felt exposed, but the look of admiration that washed over him overpowered my temptation to cover myself.

  Moving in closer, I watched as he used his knees to push my thighs further apart. Reaching out, my fingers gently curled around his thick erection. His skin felt smooth under the warmth of my hand. With his head thrown back, his grip tightened on my thighs as I slowly moved my hand up and down. His body vibrated with excitement as he moaned at the touch. He covered my hand with his own, giving it an encouraging squeeze as his lips parted at the intense pleasure.

  My breathing picked up when Holden delicately glided the fringed ribbon wrapped around his fingers from my belly to my neck, then down again to the apex of my thighs. Goosebumps broke out all over my body, and I let go of him while he teased me with the delicate piece of fabric.

  “Thank you for trusting me, Jules.” He dropped the string and held onto his shaft, taking his time to slide his silky smooth tip up and down my sensitive flesh, causing me to shiver in expectation.

  I answered between panting breaths, “I will always trust you, Holden.”

  Eager, I lifted my legs and rested my knees on his waist, opening and inviting him to move forward.

  He reached to the side, picking up a small square package he must’ve pulled out earlier. I didn’t want anything between us, just skin to skin, to feel the heat between our bodies. But it would have to wait.

  He slipped the thin latex barrier on with ease, then wordlessly positioned himself at my entrance. Clasping onto my hand, he waited until I fully relaxed before his hips pressed forward. As he placed our joined hands above m
y head, I cried out in extreme pleasure at the feeling of him slowly easing into me, filling me like I’d never experienced before, inch by inch.

  It had been a long time since I’d felt the initial penetration stretching me fully, invading my body, but unlike any other time, I accepted Holden as my new lover, ready to match each seamless movement with the raw emotion he offered me.

  After a few slow teasing rotations of his hips, he soon picked up his pace while I rocked against him, meeting every absorbing thrust. Harder and harder. Deeper and deeper. It didn't take long for me to feel that slow building pressure deep in my belly.

  The only sounds that filled the room were our heavy breathing combined with our skin grinding together until I reached that tipping point. Just like he’d wanted, I enthusiastically screamed his name, “Oh, Holden,” while I went over the delicious edge of release, clutching my soul shattering, intense explosion behind my closed eyes.

  The old me would’ve let out a string of expletives. But I was changing with Holden. I was stronger with him, different. I didn’t need to hide from my real emotions. I felt overwhelmed as I came down from my earth shattering high, but it was a good thing.

  A great thing.

  The dirty was now gone. Tears streaked down my sweaty cheeks as Holden continued to thrust in and out of me, filling me with nothing but love until he noticed I wasn’t making any sounds. Tears continued to pool at the corners of my eyes when his body suddenly stilled as he took in my emotions and let go of my hands.

  Afraid.

  “Shit. Did I hurt you, Jules? Baby, please look at me.”

  He was just about to pull out when I wrapped my legs around locking my ankles together, holding him in place and I finally opened my eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. I’m just so…happy.” The choked sob came out after my words and Holden nuzzled my neck with a small chuckle.

  “Thank God! For a second, I thought I’d pushed you too far.”

  I shook my head. “No, please keep going. I don’t want you to stop.”

  He took a moment to gauge my facial expression before a broad smile lit up his face. “Well, in that case.” Holden’s hands brushed away my remaining tears, and he soon buried himself deeper inside of me, his hands moving under my back and gripping my ass hard while his mouth went to work on my neck.

  Each time he pushed in, his hips made small circles, setting my insides on fire. Although it felt insanely good, I knew I wasn’t going to hit another peak. I never had more than one at a time.

  Determined, Holden lifted himself up, driving harder with everything he had. Suddenly up on his knees and grabbing the inside of my thighs, he slammed into me. I screamed in ecstasy as my hands gripped the pillow above me for leverage.

  My ass was lifted off the bed, and he hooked my ankles on his shoulders, crashing into me over and over. The new position allowed him to hit all of the right spots. The climax was finally there, within my reach.

  Holy…fucking…

  “Holden!”

  He gave me everything in those last few thrusts and I watched his face contort, waiting for him to let go inside me, and then, he collapsed on top of me.

  Satiated.

  Both of us.

  It took a long minute to catch our breaths. When we finally did, he propped his head on one elbow, looking down at me, sweat beading on his forehead. “Holy shit.”

  “Yeah, you can say that again,” I laughed breathlessly.

  I tried to squirm out from underneath him, but he held me down with his pelvis and asked with a sly smirk, "Where are you going?"

  “To the bathroom,” I paused for a moment, “then getting dressed.”

  He narrowed his eyes teasingly. “You can go to the bathroom, but then you’re coming right back here, just as you are. I’ve waited too long to have you good and naked. We’re definitely doing that again.” He kissed my lips, then my neck, before getting up. “Give me a second.” Leaving me in bed to recover, he held onto himself as he went into the bathroom.

  When he returned, I went in to wash up. My legs felt like jello as I strolled out of the bathroom and over to the bed. I tried not to be self-conscious of the fact that I had no clothes on.

  “You are absolutely exquisite,” he said, smiling in the late afternoon sun filtering through the windows. His eyes seemed so much brighter as I tried to pull the covers down so I could crawl underneath. He shook his head and patted the comforter. We’d already had sex. I didn’t know what I was so nervous about, but I ended up laying on my stomach, hugging the pillow and looking up at him.

  It might’ve been an awkward time to bring it up, but I was curious about something.

  “I noticed you completely avoided touching my scar. Does it bother you?” I moved my head to the side so I could see his reaction.

  “Not at all. I love your scars.” His index and middle fingers trailed over the thin lines on my wrists. “They’re your badges of honor and remind me each day to be thankful for every moment I get to spend with you.”

  I gulped, absorbing what he’d just said. He was proud of my scars and their meaning?

  Smiling sweetly to myself, I sighed in relief as warmth filled my chest.

  He pulled me closer, turning my body to lay on my side while his hand skimmed my stomach, stopping when he reached my bellybutton. “Everyone has scars that tell a story. Even though they don’t define who you are, yours tell me that you’re not a victim, you’re a survivor. They validate your past, but you’re a stronger woman because of them. I know we can get through anything, together.” He gently traced the jagged line, showing me that he meant every word.

  “I’ve been wondering about this though.” Shivers ran down my spine when his index finger lightly circled the tiny lump near my shoulder blade.

  I closed my eyes and cuddled into him. “There’s no story to that one. I’ve had that since I was in the group home. At first I assumed it was a bug bite, but now that I’ve had it for years, I think it’s some kind of calcium build up. I’ve never had it checked out though.”

  “That’s weird.”

  I peeked over my shoulder. “Thanks a lot.”

  “No,” he frowned. “I mean, I have one too, but it’s on the inside of my bicep.” He lifted his arm to show me the tiny bump, but it was easy to get distracted and stare at his massive muscles instead. “I also thought it might be a bug bite, but I’ve had it for a few months now.”

  I shrugged. “From what I’ve read, they’re pretty common. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

  “If you say so, beautiful.” He kissed my forehead, shifted our positions and pulled me closer to snuggle into him once more.

  As we laid together, I was amazed at how comfortable I’d become with him. I’d changed so much because, for once, someone saw me as more valuable than I’d ever even seen myself. I’m sure crazy shit sat just outside our door, waiting to fuck everything up. But for now, I was content to lock the rest of the world out and stay in our happy little bubble.

  The ice in my tumbler clinked together as I took a sip of whiskey. Damn, I loved that smooth feel as it slid down my throat. Setting the glass down, I relaxed back on my couch and watched the city lights shine on the San Gabriel Valley below. It was already one in the morning, and I’d just gotten home after another long day. I was exhausted beyond belief, and we still weren’t any closer to catching that son of a bitch, Sam, or finding out how far this thing went. Although I suspected Carr knew more than he let on, he was keeping tight lipped.

  I was getting sick of this shit, though. I wanted life back to what it was. We’d been on high alert for nearly a month now.

  Since it didn’t affect anyone’s safety, I’d decided to keep it to myself that things were about to come to a head with my father. He’d ordered me to make Jules stay home during the function, but if everything went as planned, Holden would be convinced to bring her. Dad and she would have to meet in person soon if we were ever going to get all the answers we needed. The less we knew, the more dangerous it
was becoming for everyone involved. My father had already lost the love of his life, and the only thing he’d accomplished by keeping his mouth shut was to possibly lose his children as well.

  I didn’t regret my decision to have Jules and Holden move in, but my life had shifted in unexpected ways. I wasn’t used to someone asking me if I’d be home for dinner, and if so, what time. It was also bizarre having Jules do my laundry before I had a chance to. She was probably just trying to do her part, but I still hadn’t adjusted. On the other hand, it was nice to come home to a full house every day. Well, unless a woman was by my side, ready to help me relieve some tension. Then it was awkward.

  Unbuttoning my shirt, I slipped my dress shoes off and thought about how pissed off Andrea had been when she’d slept over a few mornings ago. She was constantly asking questions about Jules, irritating the hell out of me. After she’d droned on and on in a jealous rant about how Jules was making breakfast in her thin night shorts and tank top, I’d had enough. Her whining had become a daily ritual, and I was tired of her riding my ass about stupid shit like that. I had to hold a pillow over my head and finally tell her to get the fuck out so I could sleep. We’d been up half the night screwing, and even though she was fucking amazing in bed, no piece of ass was worth that headache.

  From the get go, she hadn’t been happy about Jules being around and thought she needed to stake her claim by having Jules walk in on us that first day. I still couldn’t believe she’d silenced my phone when she knew I was waiting for Holden’s call. She was way out of line. Besides, the fact that there wasn’t a chance in hell that Jules and I would ever get together, Andrea knew I was not a one-woman kind of guy. Her jealousy was a complete turn off, and she had to go.

  Fucking irritating.

  Reaching forward, I picked up my glass when I heard a noise behind me. It was Jules.