The Last Thing

by Gaitan, Briana

  “Yeah, there’s something familiar about her though. I can’t put it into words.”

  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

  Hopefully.

  “Now come on, this is my last night here. Let’s make some memories.” He scooped me up in a strong embrace causing me to wrap my arms around his neck in surprise.

  “What type of memories do you suggest we make?”

  “Memories on the bed, then the shower, then the couch...”

  I threw my head back and laughed. My fingers inched down to caress his nipples.

  “I don’t think I have enough energy for all that if you plan on going out for dinner.”

  “So we’ll order in.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Quinn

  My days blurred together. Sick all day, work all night, pass out in my bed. Sick all day, work all night, pass out in my bed. It repeated endlessly.

  Chase kept to his word. He stayed out of the tabloids as much as possible, and I tried to not read them. Life went on normally, which was what I wanted. Chase usually worked over eighteen hours a day on set, and it ate up a good chunk of his energy. We still found time to see each other via Skype, and communicated via texts and emails. That day at the beach had been a turning point in our relationship. I’d trusted myself around him. I’d partially given in to one of my biggest fears, and he had stayed right beside me the entire time. He didn’t leave.

  I was almost five months along, and it was getting to the point that I actually appeared pregnant and not fat.

  My plans to save up money had fallen by the way side. The health insurance at work ate up over eighty percent of my pay, and what little was left over went to pay for doctor co-pays, gas, and other necessities. Chase had even written me a few checks, but I’d refused to cash them. I didn’t want his money. I wasn’t his wife.

  Though our relationship was in a better place, it wasn’t as if our worlds were intertwined. We each led separate lives, and the only time our paths crossed was on the rare moment Chase wasn’t shooting or promoting a movie. When Halloween came, it had been almost two weeks since I’d seen Chase. He’d just wrapped up filming and was now on a US tour to promote his upcoming projects.

  I sat on the couch flipping through stations trying to catch one of his interviews on a talk show. I had to admit, Chase was extremely talented, and every other girl in the world seemed to be catching on to that fact as well. Chase had asked me to stay away from the media, but I missed him. If seeing him through a TV was the only way we could connect, so be it.

  I smiled when I found what I was looking for. Chase’s face appeared on the screen as the talk show hosts began to talk about how they were enjoying their newfound fame. I curled up against my velvety throw and opened up a bag of popcorn.

  “Chase Crowley,” a dark-haired woman said to him, leaning forward in her seat, “last year you played Travis on Timelines. Now, you’re the star of one of the most talked about movies of the year. How are you adjusting to your newfound fame?”

  Chase rubbed his leg nervously with his right hand, like he always did when put on the spot and gave the hostess a spunky grin. That one smile was enough to make the entire studio full of girls start screaming.

  “I love it. Acting has been my dream since I was a kid, so this whole thing is…unbelievable.”

  Aww. I really am lucky to have such a talented boyfriend. Boyfriend? If that’s what I can call him.

  “Any special girl in your life?”

  “I’m seeing someone.”

  A few girls booed.

  “Hey!” I yelled at the screen.

  “And what about the rumors that you and Chloe James are a couple?”

  What?

  The screen shot out so that you could see his reaction. Chase shrugged carelessly. He was even smiling.

  “I would prefer not to talk about my private life,” he told her.

  “So you aren’t denying it….”

  “I’m not confirming it.” Chase said with a wink. Once again, the girls in the audience screamed.

  What the hell? Most of the rumors about him were fake, but he didn’t deny it. This had to be a mistake. Had he found someone else while traveling? I reached for the remote and quickly turned off the TV. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but what if they had fallen in love while filming? It happened. After all, she was there and I wasn’t. I picked up my cell phone and called Ginger. She was filming today, but I hoped that she was in between scenes. I rocked back and forth on my heels as the phone rang. Why wasn’t she picking up?

  “Everything okay?” Ginger asked.

  “I need an honest answer. I need it now. Are Chase and Chloe dating?”

  “Umm…”

  “You better tell me. I swear Ginger, I’ll tell all the magazines about the time you—”

  “Okay, okay. You have to understand, Quinn. These types of things are publicity stunts to gain exposure. I have heard rumors, but there’s nothing really going on between them.”

  “How do you know?” My entire heart ached.

  “Because he told me last month. He didn’t want to stress you out. He wanted you to be secure in the relationship before you had to deal with these types of rumors. He’s a celebrity, Quinn. These things are a part of his life. Talk to him. Don’t shut him out. I would give anything to have a man turn his life around like Chase has done for you. Please, just relax. Do you need me to come home?”

  I took a deep breath, counting slowly to calm myself down. Ginger was right. I couldn’t live life being afraid that Chase would leave me. He had promised that after this movie, he’d take a break to spend some time with me. There was no reason to believe that he was with Chloe. Besides the fact that he didn’t deny it!

  “No, I’m fine. I thought that maybe he had found someone better. Someone not all fat and pregnant. ” I switched the phone to my other ear so I could fidget with my hair. I nervously twirled it around my finger.

  “I didn’t think things were that serious between you guys? Has something changed?”

  Had it? Did I really get into such a panic over this rumor?

  “Yes…I mean no…I mean… I don’t know exactly. Fine, I admit I have…strong feelings for him.”

  That wasn’t so painful, Quinn.

  “You stay there. I’ll bring home dinner in about an hour and we will have a much needed girl’s night.”

  That sounded fun. Ginger had been so busy recently that we hadn’t had any time to hang out.

  “Thai food?”

  “Sure thing.”

  I hung up with Ginger feeling a bit better, but even more alone in that huge house.

  While I waited for her to come home, I cleaned up my room a bit and did some laundry. Most of my clothes were getting too small, and I would have to break down and buy some clothes eventually. In fact, I would have to break down and tell people I was pregnant eventually. My parents would want to know. I could practically feel the disappointing stares from my mother. I was never going to be the daughter that they could be proud of. I always screwed things up.

  Just like that, my reasonable mood crashed, and a feeling of worthlessness and pain filled my void. When I got these feelings, I normally laid in bed all day, but I couldn't do that anymore. I had to claw my way out of this one, for my baby. The triggers were always unexpected and that meant I was unprepared. Feeling even sorrier for myself, I pulled on some old clothes and began my laundry. Though I was still safely in my room, I could hear the sounds of metal crunching around me and water filling my ears. I was trapped in a state of panic. The flashbacks were always quick, and I had to let it play out.

  “Quinn….stay with me.”

  Bash’s words replayed in my head. I didn’t want to stay with him. I was too scared. My phone beeped, alerting me to an incoming text. I finished loading the washer and picked up my phone.

  Chase: I miss you. Coming home this weekend. Any plans?

  This was the first time he had gotten in touch w
ith me today.

  Me: It’s Halloween weekend. Of course.

  Chase: Party?

  Me: Candy.

  Chase: How are you and the baby?

  Me: We’re doing fine. I find out the sex next week.

  Chase: No shit! Why didn’t you tell me?

  Me: You’ve been working non-stop for weeks. We haven’t exactly been able to do much together.

  Chase: I’m sorry, dear. I know things have been rough. Please don’t shut me out from the baby stuff. We are in this together.

  Me: I’m sorry. It’s just hard to share this with you when you’re so far away. I will try to remember to keep you updated.

  Chase: Good. I have a red carpet event in an hour. Can we Skype tonight?

  Me: Sure.

  Chase: TTYL

  I pushed my insecurities away when the front door slammed, and Ginger announced that she was here to save the day.

  I skipped into the kitchen and sat next to Ginger, who was made-up immaculately and dressed in a Juicy Couture jumpsuit.

  “Damn, girl. What are you wearing?” She put her hands on her hips and raised a brow at me. I observed my old stained white t-shirt and pair of boxer shorts. They had both belonged to Bash, which Ginger was well aware of.

  “I’m doing laundry.”

  “Why are you wearing his clothes?”

  I didn’t have an answer. I packed them because they were comfortable, but didn’t have a real reason to be wearing them.

  “I don’t have anything that fits right now.”

  “Boo-hoo, Nancy Drew. That means we go shopping. You don’t wear your dead ex-boyfriend’s clothes. It’s not healthy, Quinn.”

  I grabbed the boxes of Thai food she brought in and started in on the fried rice.

  “It isn’t a big deal,” I told her between bites. “We were together for five years. Just about everything I have belonged to him or was given to me by him.”

  “Well isn’t that why you moved here? To get away?”

  I swallowed my mouth full of rice and set my spoon down.

  “Why are you hounding me? I’ve worn plenty of clothes he gave me in front of you.”

  “Not in a month or so. Not since you started dating Chase. You may not notice, honey, but I do keep an eye on you.”

  “I just threw it on…” The tone in my voice was to convince us both.

  “Why? Why?” She threw her hands up in the air. Even with her mouth full of food, she continued to yell at me. It came out sounding more like “Mah in the well rum rish woo?”

  I gave her a questioning look until she swallowed the food and tried once more to speak.

  “I said. What in the hell is wrong with you? I’m sorry, but I have sat back long enough while you played with fire. The doctors told us we were supposed to be patient and let you deal with this in your own time. You’re falling back into this rut for the last time. Snap out of it. You’re about to become a mother and you have a great guy who wants you.”

  I groaned loudly. “I’m not gonna kill myself, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

  Things were never going to get that bad again.

  “Really? How do you think I felt, getting a phone call in the middle of the night that my cousin had tried to kill herself? It was damn scary, and you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself to see what you were putting everyone else through.”

  She was right. I’d come here to be normal. Not prance around in Bash’s clothes griping about Chase.

  “You’re right. I had a trigger. But things are okay now. Honest.”

  She eyed me as if she didn’t believe what I was saying.

  “Fine, but you need to call Chase and bring him home quick. You need his support with everything that is going on. You don’t need stress during a pregnancy.”

  “He’ll be home this weekend. He promised that we would get to spend time together. Plus we get to find out the sex of the baby…” The last phrase made Ginger squeal. Loudly, I might add.

  “Good, that selfish bastard should have canceled his movies to care for you.”

  “I never expected him to do that. I’m not helpless, and I thought your liked Chase,” I scoffed.

  “Whatever. Let’s eat this cuisine and salvage the rest of the night. Sorry I went off on you, by the way.”

  “It’s okay. I deserved it.”

  “No you didn’t. I freaked out when I heard you on the phone. The way you sounded. I was scared that I might lose you again.”

  She put a hand out and pulled me into a hug.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I swear.”

  Silence hung in the air, and I knew that we both wanted to talk about it. After all these month, could we talk about why our friendship had drifted apart?

  “You left me.” I said. She knew exactly what I was talking about. The day we graduated from high school, she had packed up her stuff and hightailed it to Hollywood in search of stardom. How typical.

  “I know.” She didn’t offer up any excuses.

  “We were best friends and you left me without even so much as a goodbye.”

  “Hey now,” She held out her hand to stop me from speaking, “I called you. I explained that I wanted to become an actress. I’m sorry that I didn’t visit, but I invited you here. I offered you the exact same thing that I’d needed. A way out.”

  “What I needed my best friend. When my world fell apart, I needed you there. I had no one. Absolutely no one.”

  I popped a spring roll in my mouth and chewed in silence.

  “All I can do is apologize. I was drowning in that place. There are things—why did it take us so long to have this conversation anyway?”

  “Because we’ve been busy with work and boys.”

  “Boys…ahhh.”

  This was just what I needed. Some bonding time to help take my mind off Chase. And as much as I wanted my mind off Chase, Ginger brought him up.

  “I take it that you and Chase are getting serious now?”

  “Something like that. We’re taking it slow though.”

  “You know, a simple solution would be to go public. No more rumors; no more Chloe.”

  “Yeah, right. What if someone recognized me? What if Mom and Dad found out? What if they hurt me like that day we went shopping? Something could happen to the baby.”

  “Good. Maybe your parents will pay some attention to their daughter. And fuck the paparazzi. Who cares about your past? Most of the people in show business are already screwed up. Your skeletons aren’t anything to be ashamed of.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes! I have co-stars who have gone to rehab and have been caught in scandals. People will be interested in Chase’s new girlfriend, there is no doubt about it, but they’ll get over it. You’re about to have a family. You can’t hide forever. Be with him. Screw what they think.”

  She was right. If I wanted this new life, I needed to stop living in my old one. Did I want to risk my privacy for Chase? What if he grew tired of me in a few months?

  The jealousy I felt when I thought Chase had found someone new still churned inside. After being numb for so long, it was nice to know I could still feel this deeply again. I needed Chase all to myself. I wasn’t going anywhere. I wanted to savor this feeling, a feeling that wasn’t pain.

  Chase

  Red carpet events were not my favorite. Dressing up in suits and ties or anything that required pressing wasn’t my style. It wasn’t even for my movie, but I’d been required to attend thanks to the RSVP of my publicist. Rhea arranged my date, stylist, and after party plans. In retrospective, I suppose this was a load off my mind. I had enough going on as it was. The past few weeks away from Quinn had been hard, but I wasn’t sure where our relationship was headed. She had been so open with me that one night, but since then she had gone back to keeping me at a distance. She needed time. I knew this, but it was difficult not to fall back into old habits. Girl habits, that was.

  Chloe was supposed to be my date to the event, but she was runnin
g late. Some type of emergency wardrobe malfunction. The camera lights flashed in my eyes the second the limo door opened. I gave them a wide grin and waved. The lights never fazed me; it was something I’d been around my whole life. They all called my name and a hoard of young girls behind red ropes held out pads of paper for me to sign. Per request of Rhea, I strutted over to them and obliged to their wishes. Satisfied fans were the best kind. The security at these types of events was top notch so I let Randall off for the night. I recognized a few people walking around. Friends of friends, and people I partied with. No one I really cared to speak with.

  “Chase, I love all your shows. Can I get a picture with you?” a young girl, no older than thirteen with light brown hair, cried out.

  I bent down beside her as she snapped a picture with her phone. The poor thing could barely keep her hands steady, but after the third attempt she successfully snapped a photo that wasn’t blurry.

  “Thanks,” she said with a teary mist in her eyes.

  I gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and continued on down the red carpet.

  “Imagine seeing you here.” I turned around to see Harlow standing there in a long sequined white gown. I let my gaze drift up to her face, which held a humored smile.

  “I didn’t know you would be here, Harlow.”

  “It was a last minute decision. Where is the girl of the hour? Or should I say night?” She moved her head to the side and around me dramatically as if I were hiding a girl behind me.

  “Chloe’s supposed to be my date, but she’s arriving separately.”

  “Really? I’m surprised Rhea allowed that.” She slinked over to me and gave me a warm hug.

  We both walked down the red carpet, stopping for pictures every few feet.

  “How is life?” she asked. “You’ve been practically nonexistent.”

  “Busy. I finished filming a movie, and am in town promoting this week.”

  She gave me a funny look. “There’s something different about you… yes, you haven’t hit on me! You’ve met someone!”

  I was prepared to deny it, but found myself holding back. Harlow was one of my oldest friends and I needed her advice. I hung my head sheepishly as if I were caught in the act.