by Alla Kar
Pathetic, but honest. I would not let my past haunt me anymore. Finding out what happened was the only way to move on from this life.
Getting to my feet, I stretched my arms above my head, but something caught my eye. There it is. I’d run further than I had originally thought.
The treehouse was bigger now, with windows and a roof. But it was the same treehouse because it was the same tree. Scorched tree trunks surrounded it and my heart felt heavy. Had it burned down? Had Boone burned it after I left?
Carefully, I looked over my shoulder, and eased forward. The makeshift ladder was still the same and paintball splatters still decorated the tree trunk where we had played. My fingers curled around the wood hammered into the tree and I pulled myself up until I was inside.
Only a blanket and pillow sat folded in the corner. He’d definitely been sleeping out here. I shoved down the lump in my throat and pushed back tears.
The sight sent my heart into overdrive. Unfolding the blanket, I watched out the window, almost expecting to see Boone walking up the path. But he didn’t. I laid my head down against the pillow and whimpered when I smelled his soap.
This was all too much. I screwed my eyes shut and cried until I fell asleep.
***
The moment I sat up in the treehouse, I knew why I’d woken up. The distant sound of voices faded in and out. The sun was lower in the sky, shining through random trees.
Rubbing my palms against my eyes, I crawled to my feet. “Hurry,” someone boomed. The voice was definitely male, but it wasn’t Boone’s. It was much deeper and older.
Someone responded, but I couldn’t tell who it was. The hair on the back of my neck rose higher when I heard the crunching of leaves underneath someone’s feet. The man had to be wearing boots by the way they pounded against the forest floor in a run.
Instead of poking my head out the window, I stayed curled up inside hoping whoever it was would just pass.
After ten minutes of waiting, I realized they had. Before anyone else could come, I climbed down the ladder and stepped onto the ground. The path that passed by the treehouse went straight from Cross property to Sawyer property. I’d made my way through that path more than once, and my body urged me forward.
It wasn’t the brightest idea, but what would it hurt? I’d go to the edge of the woods and then come right back. I just wanted to see his house again—just once.
I’m nineteen years old. I can go if I want. Biting my nails, I rolled my eyes and stalked forward.
Chapter Eleven
Boone
I tossed Duke’s rubber duck toward the field and watched as he ran after it. “Go get it!”
Leaning back against the porch of my house, I crossed my arms and stared as he ran toward the woods. I’d neglected him since Josie got back in town which was ironic because Duke had been her dog at one point.
I glanced up and saw his tail disappear into the woods. “What the hell,” I whispered. “Duke! Get back here, buddy!”
Nothing.
Aggravated, I jogged over toward the woods and started through the brush.
“Duke, get your bug ol’ ass off of me.”
I was crazy about the girl, but I was not hallucinating that voice. I followed the sounds of her groaning until I found her down on her back with Duke standing over her, licking her face. “Duke.”
His head popped up, and his ears folded. “What in the hell, buddy?”
Duke gave Josie one last lick and started bouncing like a rabbit in a semi-circle around her. She was covered in pine straw and her clothes were dirty. When her eyes finally met mine, I could see the imprint of something on the side of her face. “Did someone hit you?” I blurted out.
Josie grabbed my outstretched hand and shook her head. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve got something on the side of your—” I knew that mark. “You’ve been to the treehouse?” I’d woken with that same imprint on my face from sleeping out there.
Her face turned blood red, and she focused her gaze on Duke. “He’s gotten big. I’m so glad he remembers me.”
That’s a yes. Instead of badgering her about it like I wanted, I nodded. “He does remember you. He sat in my room for a week after—everything, waiting for you.”
She gave me a tight-lipped grin. “Well, whose fault is that?”
Ouch. She was right. I was the one who had left, and I couldn’t tell her it was her father who made me do it. I couldn’t break her heart like that. Especially now that he was dying. Rubbing the back of my neck, I glanced down at my shoes. “Do you want to come over?”
She snorted. “I don’t think your dad would like that.”
“It’s my house, not his. You can come over if you want.” We just can’t let him see us. God, I was a grown-ass man that still obeyed his dad. Goddammit.
Her green eyes caught mine. “Do you want me to?”
Did I? There wasn’t one thing I wanted more. “Yes. I’ll always want you.”
Those pink cheeks turned red, and she shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe for a minute or so,” she whispered.
I nodded, trying to contain my excitement. “Come on.” She followed beside me with Duke trailing between us. His tongue flopped out of his mouth, and his tail wagged back and forth. He had an extra pep in his step today, and I knew why.
“You rebuilt the treehouse?”
I gave her a sidelong glance, and watched as her chest rose and fell in a steady pattern. The front of her T-shirt was low enough for me to see the black lace of her bra. I refocused my eyes because too much was happening in my jeans. I didn’t want to scare her off, even though I wanted to do the things we used to, plus much more.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, it looks better, huh?”
“It looked like it was burnt down,” she said. There was sadness in her voice, but she wasn’t showing it on her heart-shaped face.
No reason to lie. “I burned it down a few months after you left.”
“Why?” she whispered.
The trees broke and we walked into the clearing behind my house. “I was mad at myself, and I punished myself by burning it down.”
Her eyes snapped to mine but we didn’t stop walking. The sound of Duke taking off toward the house broke our gaze. My nerves were on edge, making the sound of my heartbeat even louder in my ears. God, I was sweating like a pig. I wiped the back of my neck and jogged up the steps to open the door for her.
She took light steps on the porch while her eyes searched the place. Duke had already claimed his seat on the recliner when I shut the door behind us. It was silent, and I was scared that she hated it.
She shifted. “You’ve decorated. It looks nice.”
I nodded, and nervously placed my hand on the bar beside me. “Thank you. Uh, you want something to drink?”
Her mouth parted, and she bluntly looked me up and down, her fingers pulling at the hem of her T-shirt. All that wiggling she was doing had me hard as a fucking rock. “Yea, what do you have?”
I swallowed. “Beer. And some Mike’s Hard Lemonade.” Her favorite.
The corner of her mouth curled upward. “I’ll take one of those.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say. You can take a seat, and I’ll get you one. Just don’t sit in Duke’s recliner. He’ll fight you for it.”
I turned but heard her giggle beneath her breath. Palming the sink, I let my head dip low and I screwed my eyes shut. Get it together, Boone.
She began to baby-talk Duke and, with eyes closed, I smiled. This is where she’s supposed to be: here, with me. Always.
I gained my composure, grabbed our drinks, and walked into the living room. Josie was down on her knees, scratching Duke’s stomach. “Not much has changed.” She laughed. “He’s still a big ol’ baby.”
I handed her the drink and she took a seat beside me on the worn leather couch. I watched over the rim of my beer as she took a long drink. Her lips pressed against the top, and her eyes closed slowly. “I haven’t had
one of these since the party last summer in Cutter Field,” she said.
“I remember,” I said, resting my free hand on the back of the couch. “You were so tipsy. It was your first time drinking, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was.” She giggled.
“You had a lot of first times with me,” I said.
Nerves flicked across her face, and she hid them with her drink. The air between us crackled like fireworks, but I wouldn’t move on it—not yet. I need to gain her trust again. “You like California?”
Her shoulders relaxed into the couch. “Yeah,” she said. “But it’s nothin’ like home.” She glanced up at me. “Nothin’ like home,” she whispered.
“Well.” I took a long sip. “I’m glad you still know your way back home.”
She played with the fringe of her jeans, and frowned down at her lap. There were too many emotions crossing her smooth face. The pain there didn’t hide her beauty. The shadow from her lashes cast downward on her high cheekbones. I squirmed in my seat, trying to adjust myself. Being this close to her was driving me insane.
“You’re still beautiful,” I said.
She kept her head down but smiled. “So are you.”
Silence took over the room. “Do you want me to turn on the TV? We can watch a movie. This silence is—”
“It’s nice. This is the first time since I’ve gotten home that I actually like the silence.”
My fingers tightened around my drink. “How is your dad?”
She shrugged. “He acts fine, but when I … ” She dropped her head and laughed. “You don’t want to hear about all of that.”
Scooting closer, I picked up a strand of hair against her forehead. “That’s not true, Raven. You can always talk to me.”
She watched my mouth as I spoke, which caused my body to turn into a fucking inferno. I needed to fucking touch her soon. “He won’t answer any questions about things. He won’t talk about Momma. And Momma won’t talk about him. There’s something going on, but I don’t know how to get to the bottom of it.”
A worry line creased her forehead; I smoothed the pad of my finger across it. “Maybe they just need some time. What are you trying to figure out?” I asked. My mouth was moving, but my eyes were hypnotized.
Her own mouth parted, and her tongue snaked across her bottom lip. “Just about things I remember from my childhood. Things they said.” She shook her head, and bit her bottom lip. “I’ll figure them out.”
I lifted her chin with two fingers. “Let me know if you need any help.”
“I will.”
Josie lifted her drink and swallowed the rest in one swig. She wasn’t drunk but I could tell she was loosening up. “Do you remember what happened after the party at Cutter Field? The next morning?”
Of course I did. I’d spent all morning sucking and biting every square inch of her. When she’d woken up sober, that heavy-lidded gaze and puffy mouth was too much to resist. “Of course I do,” I whispered over the tip of my drink. “I had you for hours.”
Through the window, the setting sun cast the familiar orange glow over the living room. Josie’s eyes met mine and everything seemed to melt away from her face. All the painful emotions and built-up frustration vanished.
“Did you think about me?” she asked in a whimper. “After you left?”
My fingers ached to touch her, but I let out the urge on the bottle in my hand. “Every fuckin’ second I’ve been gone.”
She sat straight up and turned toward me. “Why didn’t you want me anymore?”
I gritted my teeth. “I never stopped, Josie.”
Her teeth tore into her bottom lip, and her hands clenched. “I don’t believe you.”
It wasn’t that I blamed her for not trusting me. She had every right to hate me—I’d abandoned her. But it didn’t make hearing her say it hurt any less. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
Her eyes searched mine, and I could see betrayal there. “You did more than hurt me, Boone. You broke me.”
I reached for her face but she turned her cheek. “I waited for you for weeks in the treehouse, Boone.”
The hitch in her voice felt like a stab to my gut. I curled my hand around her soft neck, turning her toward me. “I know you did, Raven. I saw you. I watched you.”
She shook her head. “Why?”
I grabbed her delicate face in my palms. The way her body crushed into mine was perfect. “Sometimes we keep things from the ones we love to spare their feelings. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. You have to trust me. When Jace told me you were coming back here—I knew deep down that if I saw you, I wouldn’t be able to stay away. I tried to call a few weeks after, but—”
Her fingers tightened on my shirt. “I changed my number,” she whispered. The taste of her breath revived my memories. “What would you have said?”
I licked my lips, pulling her an inch closer. “That I never stopped wanting you. That I’d be completely in love with you for the rest of my life.”
Josie’s finger slid up my biceps to the collar of my shirt. “I’m dead inside, Boone. I need to feel alive. You’re the only person who ever made me feel safe. Please make it all go away. Take it all back.” Tears slid down her cheeks, but she whimpered like she wanted me all over her.
Grasping her hips, I pulled her on top of me until she straddled my waist. “Use me, Raven,” I whispered. “Nothing has changed. Take what you want from me. I know it’s all I deserve. I don’t deserve your love, but I’ll gain it back. Now,” I took a ragged breath, “take from me like I took from you. Use me until you know for a fact that I’m the only one you want inside of you.”
She blinked slowly, letting her eyes take me in. Her small fingers splayed on my chest, flexed before they ran up to cheeks. The memory of our first kiss danced across my mind, but this time it wouldn’t just be a kiss. There was too much tension between us. The frustration on her face showed she needed me as completely as I needed her.
It didn’t take long for her to dip her head and press her mouth to mine. The soft press of her lips was achingly amazing. I’d dreamed of tasting her again after she left. A soft moan left her mouth, and her hips sank lower onto me, pressing against the ridge in my jeans. “Open,” she demanded.
I did. I’d give her any fucking thing she wanted, and she knew she was in control. I spread my lips, palmed the back of her neck, and allowed her to melt into my mouth. I wasn’t the kind of guy that liked to be dominated, but I knew giving her the control was something she needed. But that didn’t stop me from making that the best kiss of both of our lives.
Josie’s fingers clutched my jaw like she was prying my mouth open to get deeper. Her hips rocked against me, and her moans told me she was aching on the inside, like me. She was enjoying every place our bodies were touching. Every sound and every movement.
She broke free, her pupils wide with excitement. “Take me, please. That’s what I need from you. I need you to make me forget everything.”
I could do that. Reaching underneath her, I stood with her legs wrapped around my waist. Duke sat on the floor beside our feet. “Duke, go outside.”
He whined.
“Out.”
With a huff, he stood and went out his doggie door. Josie kept her mouth an inch from mine, her eyes greedily taking in my face. “Where are we goin’?”
“To my bed,” I said. “If you’re givin’ me a chance to please you—you better believe I’m goin’ to make it the best sex of your life.”
I took the stairs two at a time with her wrapped around my waist. She bent her head and nibbled at my ear, which earned her the deepest groan I could muster. She knew that drove me crazy.
My bed was unmade, and I mentally kicked my ass for not cleaning up today. But I didn’t think I’d be carrying Josie to my bed—and I was sure that my room’s cleanliness was the last thing on her mind.
Why in the hell am I thinking about how clean my room is? Maybe it’s because I’m nervous as hell. I lowered J
osie to the pillow and hovered over her like a shelter from the outside world. “You don’t know how goddamn beautiful you are, Raven.”
A slight smile curled up the side of her mouth. “You’ve already got me in your bed. I don’t need to hear compliments.”
I grinned down at her, and gently nipped the side of her mouth. “You deserve to hear them every second of every day.”
She closed her green eyes for a split second before opening them with a smile. “Touch me,” she whispered. “I’ve been dreaming about this since I left. I want to feel you.”
I knew exactly how she felt. There hadn’t been a night I didn’t think of her. When the sun started to set, my body was ready to go meet her at the treehouse. It took a few hours for me to calm down and force myself to go to sleep. “You’re gonna feel me, baby. All over you.” I dipped my head lower. “Inside of you.”
Her legs tightened around my waist. “Please.”
Carefully, I ran my hands down her flat stomach to the zipper of her jeans. She watched as I unbuttoned, unzipped, and slid them down her legs. She must have run a lot in the past year because her legs still looked the same. Runner’s legs, toned and tight.
I formed a path up her legs with the tips of my fingers, and curled one underneath the side of her lace panties. Her chest fell quicker, and her fingers sank into the sheets beside her. I yanked at the fabric until her panties broke in my hands and tossed them aside. I’d keep the broken pair because I needed to remember that it really happened.
A gasp left her throat and she arched into the bed. There was hesitation as she lay there, but finally she let her legs fall wide, and I could see everything I ached to please. I dipped my head low, grabbed her ass with my palms, and buried my face into her.
A cry broke from her lips, and her fingers tangled in my hair. “Oh, God,” she said, her voice lowering with each thrust of my tongue. “Oh, God. I missed this,” she whispered.
I squeezed her in my hands, and bit gently from clit to opening and then back up again. She grinded herself against my face, and clung to my hair for dear life. The ripples of pleasure were fueling a fire that had been in jeopardy of being extinguished. “You taste so sweet,” I groaned, pulling her gently between my teeth. My adrenaline amplified and I curled my toes to take away the urge to squeeze her harder in my hands.