The Many Conditions of Love

by Farahad Zama

  Pari smiled at the woman. “What happened then?”

  “I kneeled down by the mother monkey and told her that I was a mother too. I’ll look after your baby as if she is mine, I told her. She must have understood what I said because she loosened her hold on the baby. As soon as I cuddled the baby in my arms, the mother monkey closed its eyes for ever. We brought the baby with us, fed her from a bottle and slowly built her up.”

  Sitakka and another woman walked by, leading a little boy of about four, and the older woman called them over.

  “This is my first son’s wife. And this little fellow,” she said, patting the boy on the top of his head, “was born less than a year after Tara came into our house. I had read the Lord’s intentions correctly. And today, I have to do my last duty for her and then her mother’s soul will be at peace.”

  All the usual rituals were followed for Tara’s wedding as they would be for a normal human wedding. A curtain separated the bride and groom; a prayer was said to the elephant-headed god Ganesha for the success of the rituals; the bridegroom’s feet were washed by the bride’s ‘parents’; the band played music that reached a crescendo at the appointed auspicious moment, and the curtain was whipped away, to reveal the bride and groom peering at each other from hooded eyes. All the correct mantras in Sanskrit were spoken by the priest – at a breakneck speed more suited to pop songs than to sacred hymns. The bridegroom and bride were picked up by their respective ‘parents’ and taken round the sacred fire seven times. All the guests showered rice on the couple as confetti. Two yellow threads were hung around the bride’s neck, by the bride’s ‘father’, instead of by the groom. A photographer shot lots of pictures. The main ceremony of the marriage was complete.

  The newly married monkeys were then stripped of their clothes – leading to a lot of ribald comments among the rustic crowd. They were then carried through the village, all the guests following, until they reached the river where trees grew thick along the banks. The monkeys were unshackled and placed on a low, overhanging branch. The bridegroom gave the people one startled look and scuttled up the trunk like a proper monkey until he was hidden in the leaves. He then started chattering, saying something in simian language. Tara just sat there on the branch, alternately looking at the people and up into the branches at her new mate.

  “Go on,” said somebody in the crowd. “Your husband’s calling you.”

  Tara’s mother gave a sob, tears trickling down her cheeks. Tara quickly jumped off the tree and hopped into her mother’s arms.

  “Oh, my darling daughter,” wailed the woman. “My heart’s breaking but you have to go. When I had only sons, I boasted that I was lucky because I would never know the pain of saying goodbye to a daughter on her wedding day.” She hugged the monkey and nuzzled her tiny face. “The Lord was watching from his abode in Vaikuntha and he took note of my boasting and gave me a daughter. He knew that just like the pain of childbirth, this pain of farewell too is not a curse but a boon.” She fell silent for a moment and silently wept. “Go, dear,” she said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. “It’s time for you to leave your parents’ house. Go, so that when I meet your birth mother in heaven, I can look her in the eye and tell her that I fulfilled my promise.”

  The monkey in the tree dropped to a slightly lower branch so he was visible and said something loudly again. Tara mewled, before jumping down to the ground. She quickly crossed the ground on all fours and scaled the tree with consummate ease, as if she had been doing it all her life.

  The people were quiet, except for Tara’s mother who started wailing even more loudly. Sitakka and Pari held her arms and supported her. Other women told her not to cry, though without much success, as their eyes too were streaming with tears.

  Tara shuffled forward on the branch and sat next to her mate. The male langur held out a paw and opened his fist. A shiny red fruit flashed in the sun as Tara popped it into her mouth. A dozen human females went ‘Aaah’ on the ground below. Tara leaned forward and started searching through the he-monkey’s hair for lice. His fur shivered as he was groomed by his bride.

  Several minutes later, they stood up on their little legs simultaneously and launched themselves into the upper branches. The newlyweds’ chatter slowly became fainter as they moved away through the trees.

  Fifteen

  On Monday morning, Aruna got up quietly from her sleeping husband’s side, took a shower (hot, as usual), said her prayers and took a cup of tea on a saucer to Ramanujam. Now that winter was past, the tea would remain hot for a long time and he would need to cool it down by pouring it into the saucer before sipping the tea.

  She was surprised to see him awake and sitting at the table, working.

  “You are up already? Your dad was asking for you. He said he had to meet an official about the electricity connection to the Beach Road villa and he wanted you to come with him,” she said, placing the cup and saucer on the desk.

  “Hmm,” grunted Ramanujam.

  Aruna pulled up the chair next to him and sat down. She looked at him openly as he wrote half a page, then scrunched up the paper and threw it into the dustbin. The bin was already half full of papers. Some had missed the bin and littered the area round it. His forehead creased as he sat still, staring at the fresh sheet before him. He was still trying to draft his paper on brain tumours.

  Relations between them had been pretty chilly since she had found their nephew, Sanjay, fiddling with the papers and pens on this desk and told him not to come into the room. Ramanujam’s sister had automatically assumed that Aruna didn’t want her son to come in because it was her room.

  I don’t care what Mani thinks, thought Aruna. But why blame my sister-in-law when my husband also thinks like that?

  Aruna had a number of chores in the house but she didn’t feel like doing any of them. She looked carefully at Ramanujam’s face, his eyebrows knitting together as he frowned in concentration. He hadn’t shaved yet and she knew from experience that the stubble on his cheeks was as rough as the teeth of a coconut scraper. She hadn’t felt his cheeks on her face or anywhere else on her body for days and she missed it like a junkie craving her fix. She almost raised her hands to feel his chin but stopped herself, digging her nails painfully into her palm.

  What can I do to show him that I was not being mean to his nephew? I do like him, though I think he is spoiled. It’s not the boy’s fault though, she thought. He’s so young – it’s up to the people round him to show what’s right and what’s wrong.

  She remembered what Mani had told her – that when she had her own children, she would change. I am sure I will not treat my own children any differently. I will love them, but I will also be fair and strict, she thought.

  Aruna glanced at the paper and just made out the words tumour and blood supply before Ramanujam crumpled up the sheet and threw it at the bin. It missed and fell on the floor.

  “Can I help you?” said Aruna. “If you need to talk…”

  He jerked his head up and said loudly, “Don’t interfere in things you don’t understand.”

  She rocked back in her chair. “Why are you so angry? I am just trying to help.”

  “Did you insult amma and Mani’s mother-in-law?” he asked.

  “What are you talking about?” said Aruna, thrown by the change of topic. “Why would I insult them?”

  “That’s what I want to know. Mani told me weeks ago and I’ve been trying to ignore it but I cannot.”

  Aruna tried to think back. What had Mani told her husband? Weeks ago…Suddenly Aruna remembered. It had been another Monday, about three in the afternoon. Ramanujam was at work and his father was taking a siesta. Aruna had just finished hanging up her ironed clothes and come into the living room.

  “Let’s go to Mani’s house,” said her mother-in-law.

  “Why?” said Aruna, looking in surprise at Mani, who was sitting on the other sofa.

  Mani shrugged and her mother said, “I just want to discuss someth
ing with her mother-in-law. Get ready and we’ll leave.”

  “OK,” said Aruna and went back to her room. She dressed in a purple sari with darker stripes and came back to find her mother-in-law had changed as well. They woke up their driver, Peter, who was sleeping in a chair under the mango tree in the garden and left. Mani stayed home.

  They soon reached Mani’s house and her mother-in-law greeted them. The two older ladies desultorily discussed various matters. Aruna couldn’t figure out what was so important about any of these topics that they couldn’t have been covered over the phone or left till later. After about half an hour, once snacks had been eaten and cups of tea drunk, Mani’s mother-in-law got up and said, “Let’s go.”

  Aruna’s mother-in-law got up immediately and nodded. Aruna was confused. “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “You’ll know soon enough,” said Mani’s mother-in-law and the three ladies squeezed into the rear seat of the car behind Peter.

  When they were on the main road and Aruna saw the board on the first floor of the building, she turned to her mother-in-law and said, “Oh no, we aren’t.”

  Her mother-in-law didn’t say anything. She just gripped Aruna’s arm tightly as they went up the narrow stairs to the gynaecology clinic. The doctor, who looked like a middle-aged matron, was wearing a simple cotton sari and had a big, red, round bindi on her forehead. She welcomed them and sat behind a small table while Aruna and the two older ladies crowded on three chairs on the other side of the table. It was hot in the room and the fan rattled noisily but created little breeze. The room felt even more cramped because almost half of it was curtained off with thick drapes that went from wall to wall.

  “Right,” the doctor said, “let’s take some details. What’s your age?”

  Aruna did not want to admit before the two mothers-in-law that she was on the pill so she just went along with the questions. After going through her personal history, the doctor checked Aruna’s height and weight. The doctor then turned to her mother-in-law.

  “She has been married for less than a year, so it is not unusual that she is not yet pregnant. Your daughter-in-law is quite young as well so I wouldn’t worry too much just yet. But let me carry out some more checks, so you can be reassured.”

  She turned on a switch and lights came on behind the curtains. She asked Aruna to go behind the curtains for a physical examination. It was even more stuffy in the screened part of the room and the heat from the lamps did not help. By the time Aruna and the doctor came out, Aruna was feeling hot and extremely bothered. The slight breeze from the fan did not help her much to cool down.

  “Physically there is nothing wrong,” said the doctor to the two older ladies. “Your daughter-in-law is healthy. She has a nice hipbone structure, so once she is pregnant, the delivery should be problem-free.” She turned to Aruna. “Do you and your husband love each other? Do you have a good physical relationship?”

  Aruna jumped up. “I am not answering questions like that in front of – ”

  “Sit down, girl,” said Mani’s mother-in-law. “We are all married women here and know the facts of life.”

  Aruna turned towards her. “You keep out of this. Don’t interfere.” She faced her mother-in-law. “Have some patience. Why do you automatically assume that there is a problem? Don’t the shastras tell us that our deepest thoughts – good or bad – come true? So think the best.”

  Aruna pushed her chair back and rushed down the stairs.

  “I can see from the look on your face that you have remembered,” said Ramanujam.

  Aruna shook her head and came back to the present. She was sitting in the room with her husband and scrunched-up paper round them on the floor. “I didn’t really insult them. I was just standing up to them,” she said.

  “Did you or did you not say that you didn’t want Mani’s mother-in-law interfering in your life?”

  Why didn’t Ram understand that the experience at the gynaecologist had been among the most excruciating in her life? She was really disappointed that her husband was more concerned with what the others thought than what she had gone through.

  He continued, “How could you say something like that? Have you no understanding of the power she has over my sister’s happiness? Do you think my mother and father have never been provoked by her? If they can swallow their pride and keep their tongues to themselves, what kind of aristocratic family do you come from that you had to answer back to Mani’s mother-in-law? Go away, I don’t want to see you in front of me right now.”

  He waved his hand as if to shoo her away like an irritating fly and knocked his hand against the cup of tea. The hot liquid spilled across the table and into Aruna’s lap.

  “Oww!” screamed Aruna in shock and pain as the tea seeped through her clothes and scalded her stomach and thighs. She jumped up, pushing back the chair, which fell with a crash on the hard floor.

  “What happened?” said her mother-in-law from outside. “Are you all right?”

  “I am – ” began Aruna and ended by clutching her stomach and groaning, “ayyo…”

  Her mother-in-law pushed open the door and came in.

  “Oh! The tea’s been spilled. Quick, come into the bathroom, let’s splash some cold water on you before you get a scar.” She dragged Aruna towards the en-suite. “Shantamma,” she shouted out. “Come and clean this spillage.”

  At the door, Aruna turned to look at Ramanujam. He had pushed back his chair and stood up. He looked shocked at what happened, raised his hand towards the women and said something. But Aruna’s mother-in-law had already turned on the tap and the water descended in a rush towards the marble floor, drowning out his words. Aruna thought she lip-read an apology.

  ♦

  A couple of hours later, Aruna was sitting in the living room with her mother-in-law, shelling peas.

  “These are lovely, aren’t they?” said the older woman. “So fresh and plump.”

  Aruna felt a seed between her thumb and forefinger in surprise. She had been mechanically popping the fat green skins and swiping the peas into a bowl without paying any attention to the vegetables. Her mother-in-law said, “Kaka got them very early from the farmers’ market this morning.”

  Aruna nodded listlessly. Even though her husband had apologised for the accident, she could not forget his earlier words, “Go away, I don’t want to see you in front of me right now.”

  Her sister-in-law, Mani, sat on a chair with a pillow behind her lower back, reading a magazine. She refused to sit on the sofa, saying that she was finding it difficult to get up afterwards. Mani sniffed loudly and Aruna looked up at her.

  “I am not having an affair,” she read in English on the cover of the magazine. There was a photograph of a young actress in shorts and a skimpy top that showed a lot of midriff and cleavage.

  “Why hasn’t Ramanujam gone to the hospital yet?” said Aruna’s mother-in-law.

  Aruna wasn’t sure so she said nothing. She didn’t want to go to her room and face her husband again. Her stomach and thighs were still sore but the depression she felt wasn’t solely from the physical pain. She had been a bit strong with Mani’s mother-in-law but she thought Ramanujam shouldn’t have minded so much. After all, he was quite a private character too. And he must know how insulting the implication that she was infertile must be to her. But he just didn’t seem to care. He was more worried about the possible implications to his precious sister. She didn’t see why it should affect Mani anyway. She was well established there; her husband loved her, she had a son and another child on the way.

  They heard steps outside and her sister Vani peeped in through the door. Aruna’s face broke into a smile.

  “Come in, Vani. What brings you here?”

  Vani took off her shoes and walked in barefoot. She said her namastes to Aruna’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law, then sat on the sofa next to Aruna. “I went to your office before I remembered that it was Monday and your day off,” she said.

  Aruna�
��s mother-in-law picked up the bowl containing the peas and the shallow pan with the skins, and stood up. “Do you want a glass of water?” she asked the guest.

  “No, aunty. I am all right,” said Vani.

  “I am going to the neighbour’s house for an hour or so,” Aruna’s mother-in-law said and walked away towards the kitchen.

  “How are amma and naanna?” said Aruna. They didn’t have a phone and she got news about them only when she visited them or her sister came over.

  Vani shrugged. “The usual. Naanna’s being crotchety as he sometimes gets and amma, well, amma’s just carrying on as normal.”

  Aruna laughed. She missed the simple life in her parents’ house sometimes. “How’s college?”

  “All right,” said Vani. “Can we go into your room?”

  Behind them, Mani sniffed loudly. Aruna stiffened. She still felt sensitive about Mani’s accusation about her room. Besides, Ramanujam was there. “No,” she said. “Let’s talk here.”

  Vani looked at her oddly for a moment and shrugged. They talked about a movie that Vani had seen a couple of weeks ago. A few minutes later, Vani twitched her nose like a little rabbit. “What’s that smell?” she said.

  Aruna didn’t notice anything. She looked at Vani quizzically.

  “It’s like amrutanjan, you know – eucalyptus balm.”

  “Oh!” said Aruna. “That’s nothing. Hot tea spilled on my stomach this morning and I applied it to cool it down.”

  Vani went quiet for several moments. “Are you all right?” she said, finally.

  Aruna laughed brightly. “Why wouldn’t I be? Just some hot tea. It wasn’t boiling or anything. Anyway, what did you want? Why are you here?”