Holly and Hopeful Hearts

by Caroline Warfield

  “At least the duke will talk to you.” Emily sighed. “Lord Tipton does not even know I breathe. He clearly forgot we met at a ball last month, but he does not talk to many ladies either, so perhaps I do have reason for hope. Charity is so much simpler than matters of the heart. You commit an act of good will, and all is done. But a smile, a dance, a fan… it might mean nothing, and yet it might mean everything, too.”

  “Scowls mean something else altogether,” Anna said, scowling herself.

  “Scowls?” Emily glanced at her, obviously puzzled, as they strolled along the gardens in the park. The weather was not overtly chilly, but Anna felt like ice inside.

  “Why, just earlier today, Mother invited over a friend and neglected to mention that the friend has a son. A most disagreeable son. Jasper Warwick, the Earl of Pershore. Do you know him?”

  Emily shook her head and had to adjust her brown hat. “I haven’t the pleasure.”

  “Oh, it is no pleasure at all. He is rude and—”

  “In front of your mothers?”

  “No.” Anna could feel her cheeks redden. “I had gone outside to write a story…” Her cheeks grew even hotter as she recalled whom she had been writing about, even if she had made him the villain in the tale. “And I crossed his path. He had been so surly and… and…”

  “Nothing at all like your duke?”

  “He wasn’t merely rude to me either. He cast off our stablehand and then rode one of our horses. Without asking if he could, mind you. Just acted as if he had leave. And, well, this isn’t very charitable of me, but when the horse threw him—”

  “The horse threw him?”

  “Yes. I first ran over to help him, but he didn’t want me to, and then I, for a moment, felt glad he had been thrown! It’s terrible of me, I know, but I couldn’t help myself.”

  Emily halted. “That’s really not like you, Anna.”

  “I know. There is just something about him…” She stopped as well and exhaled through her nose. “Hopefully I will not be seeing him again, and that will be that.”

  “It does sound as if he was behaving oddly. I wonder if there might be a reason behind it.”

  “Are you excusing his actions?”

  “It seems to me that…” Emily resumed walking. “…you tend to make excuses for the duke for everything. ‘He’s talking to her because he is good friends with her brother.’ ‘He is too busy to call for tea.’ But with this man, you do not seem willing to allow him an excuse nor think there might be a reason for his behavior.”

  “Why should I?” Anna asked stiffly. “He has shown me no manners. Why should I not think the worst of him?”

  Emily appraised her but said no more on the subject, for which Anna was rather grateful.

  When she returned home after a lovely visit—as they spoke no more about men—Anna avoided her mother until dinnertime made that impossible. It was times like this, when Anna wished to not be questioned by her mother that she missed her father the most. He had died when Anna was only three, and she didn’t remember much about him, only a sense of security and love that she had never felt with anyone else.

  As soon as she finished eating the last of her meal, Anna patted her mouth and laid her cloth napkin on the table. “May I—”

  “Anna, I allowed us to eat in peace, but we must talk now.”

  She refrained from wincing. “Very well.”

  Like a good daughter, she placed her hands on her lap and readied herself to listen, but all the while, she wished she were anywhere else but here. Her mother did not understand what she was already asking of her by avoiding all contact with the dashing Benjamin. She had agreed to do that. What else could her mother want?

  “I was wondering what you thought of Jasper,” her mother said plainly.

  Anna forced herself not to blink or react in any fashion. Her mother had a terrible tendency to accurately deduce the cause behind every movement, and so Anna had learned to keep her features straight when talking about something she wished to keep private.

  “I did not speak with him enough to form an opinion,” she said, hoping she did not sound stiff.

  “Well, I think you should consider befriending him.”

  Befriending? Her mother had no idea what kind of man Lord Pershore was!

  She shook her head emphatically, no longer concealing her stunned horror. “He is—”

  “A much better match for you than that the Duke of Barnet.”

  “How can you say that?”

  Her mother rubbed her cheek. “Obviously something happened between you two, and whatever it was, it seems like you did not care for it. I will not make excuses for him, especially when I do not have all the details…” She paused.

  If she were waiting for Anna to fill in the details, she would be waiting a long while.

  Her mother sighed. “What I do know is that Lord Pershore is going through a troubling time.”

  Despite herself, Anna did feel a trifle curious about what he might be going through that could turn him into such an arrogant man. Even so, she refused to speak another word about him.

  I would rather be a spinster than marry the likes of him!

  Chapter 5

  16th October, 1812

  Another surprise from his mother—this time in the form of a gathering. Jasper knew better than to try to talk his way out of it, and so he soon found himself standing in a corner near a table full of various fruits and cheese, looking out over the happy couples mingling, talking, laughing, smiling, and dancing.

  He and his mother had spent the last decade away from England, having traveled from port to port so they could spend time with his father, an ambassador at various posts. This city, Jasper was quickly finding, was too small, too confining, with everyone talking about everyone and wishing to know the other’s affairs. Many an acquaintance had approached him, the gentlemen wishing to know about the sights—and the women—he had seen, and the ladies flirting behind their fans. Jasper did not wish to say much to any of them, which was why he was hiding away in this spot.

  His mother and father both found his lack of trust in others disconcerting, but until and unless he found reason to trust someone, he doubted he would ever find love. Despite what his father wished, he would not marry merely for the sake of marrying. He would only marry the lady he wished. At least his mother would grant him that, although she was bound and determined that he would find such a lady.

  If there is a lady out there for me…

  A cotillion started, but Jasper made no move to join in. He had last danced the cotillion in Sweden, and the spectacle made his stomach churn. Two solitary months had passed, but still the ache remained.

  The lies from a woman’s tongue can leave scars that last much longer than the whip.

  He had come. He had fulfilled his promise to his mother. He would leave, and leave now.

  Benjamin Huxley, the Duke of Barnet, had danced so much his legs had grown rather tired. He excused himself from his partner and accepted a glass of wine from a servant as he made his way from the dance floor.

  He glanced around the room, and his gaze fell on two ladies—Anna and Emily. Benjamin had not yet spoken to either this evening, and he moved to approach them when someone bumped into his back.

  “Pardon me,” Benjamin said easily enough, turning to see a man stiffly adjust his overcoat.

  “I must be the one to beg pardon,” the man said. “If you will—”

  “I’m afraid I don’t recall meeting you before. You are…”

  “Leaving.”

  Benjamin grinned. “Leaving. Now that is a strange name.”

  The man blinked a few times. “You do realize…”

  “Of course.” Benjamin clasped him on the back. “Have you sampled some of the wine yet? It is exquisite.” He handed the gentleman his glass.

  The man reluctantly took a sip. “Yes. It is quite good,” he muttered.

  “How are you, gentlemen?” Anna asked. Emily had approached, too, bu
t she was looking around at the dancers, obviously trying to locate someone.

  “Quite fine. Quite fine.” Benjamin held out his hand and, after Anna accepted it, brought her hand to his lips for a soft kiss.

  The man beside him huffed out a breath. “Just leaving.”

  “Good night to you then,” Anna said somewhat stiffly.

  Intrigued, Benjamin glanced from Anna to the man and back again. Anna was one of the kindest ladies he knew. What had this man done to ruffle her so?

  “You two know each other?” he asked.

  “Our mothers do,” the man said. “If you will excuse me.” He walked past Emily without even looking at her and left.

  “Someone’s not feeling very festive, now, is he?” Benjamin asked with a laugh.

  Emily giggled, but it seemed a little forced, her attention clearly elsewhere.

  Benjamin turned to Anna. Her lips twisted into a slight frown, and his stomach clenched to see her vexed. “What has he done to you?”

  “Done to me? Who?” She blinked and then laughed. “Nothing. He is no one.”

  “I didn’t catch his name.”

  “He is the Earl of Pershore.”

  “Haven’t heard of him.” Out of the corner of his eyes, Benjamin watched Emily accept a dance from a baron’s son. “May I have the honor of this dance?”

  “Of course.” Anna’s smile stretched across her face, lighting up her dark eyes.

  The two danced and talked and laughed and danced another before the bold Lady Catherine interrupted them and stole him away. Benjamin danced once with her, and when he tried to locate Anna again, he couldn’t see her anywhere. Had she left already? There was something about her, yet there was something about nearly every lady. If he saw her again this evening, he would spend more time with her. If not, there were others he would converse with.

  Still, he found himself curious about Anna and that Pershore fellow, and it irked him to think that someone might have upset her.

  * * *

  “Did you not see how he was?” Anna asked as they nibbled on some of the delicious snacks set out for the guests to enjoy.

  “Who was?” Emily turned around to face the dance floor.

  “Lord Pershore! Have you not been listening to me?”

  “Ah, yes, the marchioness’s son whom you cannot stop talking about.” Emily laughed, teasing.

  “That is not true!”

  “I thought you were trying to avoid the Duke of Barnet. You walked straight up to him. You didn’t even wait for him to approach you!”

  “Yes, well, he was talking to Lord Pershore, and I wanted to…”

  “To what? Save him? What on earth would Lord Pershore do to him?”

  Anna sighed. “I suppose you are right. I did use that as an excuse.” She shook her head and vowed to think nothing more about either man. “Is Lord Tipton here?”

  “Not that I have seen.” Emily put her hands on her hips. “Do not attempt to change the subject.”

  “I am…” Anna rubbed her temple. She had not seen Benjamin either for some time now, and her happy mood after dancing with him vanished. She never should have approached him, never should have danced with him. Her mother was certain to find out, even if her chaperone and maid kept quiet, and then what?

  She will ask if I bothered to dance with Lord Pershore as well, when she should realize the answer to that would be no. I just can’t see why she wants me to befriend him, let alone anything more!

  Chapter 6

  It was a quiet carriage ride home, and Anna’s mother waited for her by the door, unfortunately. Anna begged for some time to rest her feet and complained of her headache, but her mother would hear none of it.

  “Cook can make you some tea, and you can rest your feet in the parlor. Now come. Let us talk.”

  Talk. All her mother ever wished to do. She would talk to the walls if they would answer her back.

  To Anna’s relief, her mother talked to her about her charity work for a good bit of time, and Anna was even smiling and laughing.

  But it did not last long.

  “I know that the Earl of Pershore went to the gathering. Did you happen to speak to him?” her mother slipped into their conversation even though it had nothing to do with their previous lines of conversation.

  “Speaking with him isn’t pleasant,” Anna said stiffly.

  Her mother sighed. “Are you even giving the poor boy a chance, or are you still wrapped up in that dreadful duke?”

  Anna bristled. “I do not care for Lord Pershore because of his own actions.”

  Her mother sat stiffly, primly, her lips a tight line. “I had so hoped for a match. Katherine and I have written each other many letters over the years, and we both hoped that perhaps one day, our children would grow up and fall in love and have children of their own.”

  “Now that sounds like something out of a story.” Anna tried to force a smile on her face, but inwardly, she was horrified. There wasn’t much she would not do for her mother, but if her mother asked this of her, well…

  “I had such hopes.” Her mother looked away, staring out the window. “To unite our families through marriage…”

  It was too much for Anna to hear this. “Most mothers would wish for their daughters to marry a duke, even a supposed skirt chaser.”

  Her mother pursed her lips. “I have known true love,” she murmured. “How can I not want that for my own daughter?”

  “But I—”

  “You only think you do, my dear girl. I know you, and I love you, and I wish you could see what I see. You are blinded by his looks and his charm.”

  And she had heard enough. Anna stood. “I am rather exhausted from tonight’s activities. If you will excuse me…”

  To soften the rude tone of her words, she waited for her mother to nod and grant her permission to leave before departing the parlor and going up to her bedroom. Her maid helped ready her for bed, but Anna couldn’t sleep. So many emotions were bottled up inside of her that she had to express them the only way she knew how—through writing.

  Anna took her quill and penned a letter, addressed to Jasper Warwick. She never intended for him to see it, but she poured out her every thought, her every fear, listing reason after reason why he shouldn’t marry her or anyone else: his rudeness; his insufferable attitude; if he was rude to someone else’s servants, he must be quite cruel to his own; his children would surely take on his terrible habits; and so on.

  When she finished, she surprisingly didn’t feel better. In fact, in her mind, she could hear her mother saying, “Jasper is going through a troubling time.” And his own mother had said much the same: “I’m afraid he has had a trying time of late.” Yes, his conduct had been a little rude each time she had spoken to him, but perhaps there might be a reason for it.

  What on earth could have happened to him that his own mother, who was as prim and proper as hers, would make excuses for his revolting behavior?

  * * *

  17th October, 1812

  Anna contemplated skipping the morning meal, but she knew that her mother would come and check on her. It wasn’t that she was feeling or poorly or that she wished to avoid her mother. Anna merely wanted to continue to work on her story. She had even gotten up during the middle of the night to work on it a little, only for her thoughts to continually turn back to the puzzle that was Jasper Warwick, Earl of Pershore.

  Her mother was already seated at the table when Anna entered. “I was getting worried,” she said with a smile.

  Anna covered her mouth as she yawned. “No need for that,” she assured her.

  “We won’t talk about Lord Pershore more,” her mother started, and Anna winced for fear of what might come next, “but I did hear that the Duke of Barnet was there as well.”

  “Y-Yes,” Anna said slowly, sitting stiffly.

  “Forgive me, but I do find it a little interesting that you refuse to go to the three-week-long house party because of fear of running into the duke, yet
you went to this gathering and saw him. Danced with him even.”

  Anna refused to squirm in her seat. It was unnerving and uncanny how her mother seemed to know everything about everyone.

  “You do not deny it?”

  Her flushed cheeks were obviously answer enough for her mother laughed, although the sound was a bit forced.

  “Well?” Her mother lifted her teacup.

  “He was so…” Anna sighed. It had been so wonderful to dance with Benjamin. It had been a whirlwind, and she felt as if they had been transported to another realm, one in which only the two of them existed. “So charming, Mother.”

  “Charms them all,” her mother countered. She sipped and lowered her cup.

  Anna opened her mouth to argue but paused. Perhaps her mother did have a point. After all, Benjamin never called to visit her. He never came over for tea.

  Perhaps he means more to me than I do to him.

  The thought colored her mood and left a bitter taste in her mouth as she ate. Back in her room, she still could not concentrate on her story for the orphans, only this time the source of her thoughts was the dashing duke. Again, she wrote another letter in which she poured out her feelings to the duke as well as her fears and doubts that he felt the same.

  Although she hadn’t said so, Anna knew her mother was disappointed to learn that her daughter had been weak and succumbed to the duke’s charm. As a peace offering, Anna brought her mother the note and allowed her to read it.

  Her mother’s features softened with each line, and when she glanced up at Anna, she had tears in her eyes. “I know you love your stories,” she said. “How about I tell you one?’

  Anna smiled. “I would like that very much.”

  “Well, it all started twenty years ago, three years before you were born…”

  Chapter 7