Whisper My Name

by Renee Wynn

  Brody found a counter and leaned into it to wait for Danielle. He poured a cup of coffee from the hospitality table and took a sip.

  He tagged Danielle in the fitting room because he could see her feet under the dressing room door, while listening to the chatter around him. He scanned the room and every eye, some of them coy and the rest sexually blatant was looking at him. He tried hard not to glare back, which usually would have most people seeking cover.

  Impatience crawled up his skin. He strained not to tap his fingers against his arms now crossed over his chest.

  Finally Danielle came out of the dressing with lacy pajama shorts, tops and those sexy shoes in her hands. She also held a bright red corset trimmed in black lace. Damn. How in the hell did he miss her trying that on?

  At the cash register, he produced his black American Express card and she threw him a look that would’ve killed if he weren’t a strong man.

  “Put your card away, Brody,” she hissed.

  He didn’t.

  “Now,” she said with enough venom to strike.

  He put it away to keep peace, but they would discuss the situation at a later date. After paying for the items, she reached for the bag, but he grabbed it first.

  She glared at him, mumbled what sounded like a curse and hurried away, leaving him trailing behind her.

  Brody caught up and steered her toward his truck. She pulled her arm from his hand. She opened her mouth to speak but he angled his head so his face was in hers.

  “We still need to talk. Hell, Danielle, be pissed at me, scream, holler, punch the hell out of me cause I know I fucked up from the very beginning. I’m trying here to make it right. Shit…not just right, but perfect. Will you please come back to the ranch with me so we can just talk? Please.”

  She stood there, not moving, not blinking but just staring straight into his eyes.

  “You tried to buy me,” She nodded toward the store. “I was humiliated.”

  “I’m sorry. That was not my intention.”

  “Then what was it?”

  “It’s cold as hell out here. Can we at least get in the truck?”

  She threw him another glare, opened the door and got in the vehicle. “I’m not one of your women, Brody. I pay my own way.”

  Of course, Danielle had to have the last word. He didn’t say anything but jogged around to the driver’s side, got in, and brought the ignition to life.

  At the house, she jumped out of the truck before he could come around and help her out of the seat. She was at the door, waiting for him to unlock it before he had cleared the first step.

  He let her precede him over the threshold. She stomped to the first room she came to, which was the den, threw off her hat and coat, and rounded on him.

  “I’m here, so talk.”

  “Can we sit first?”

  She remained standing.

  “Why did you try to pay for my items?” she said.

  He shrugged. “No devious reason.”

  “Are you so used to buying lingerie for women that it’s become automatic?”

  “No. This was the first time.”

  “I guess I should be thankful for that, but I’m not. You made me look cheap and people thought I was your woman.”

  “You are my woman. I want you to be…”

  She rolled her eyes. “Keep dreaming.”

  “I stopped a long time ago. From now on it’s all reality.”

  Confusion marred her beautiful features.

  “Look, Danielle, no one recognized you in the store.”

  “Is that supposed to make it alright? It doesn’t. The women apparently knew you.”

  “Damnit, Danielle. I live here. Of course, they know me. But I know me trying to pay for your sexy gear isn’t the real issue here. Talk to me.”

  “You are an asshole, Brody. I hate how I got caught up in your game. You told me it was just sex. I read something else into it because I do that sometimes. It’s a flaw I have rectified. You stayed longer than I thought you would, the next morning. I guess I should be thankful you gave me part of the evening also.” Her tone was filled with sarcasm. “I’m an adult and knew the score. I was so damn stupid.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why were you so damn stupid?”

  “I let myself forget the rules...One night.”

  “That’s what you agreed on.”

  “We both did.”

  “No, I didn’t. When you said it, I didn’t offer one word of confirmation.”

  The silence that now lay between them was thick.

  He walked to the fireplace and started a fire, and then warmed his hands near the heat. He rose to his feet, unbuttoned his jacket and threw it on the sofa beside hers. He turned and looked at her for a very long time.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention. I seem to be getting things all wrong when it comes to you.”

  “Where is this conversation heading,” she said.

  He moved closer, decreasing the space between them, but leaving enough room so she wouldn’t feel cornered or uncomfortable.

  “I wanted you the moment I saw you. I knew what kind of man I was. The deck was stacked against me but I didn’t let it stop me. Relationships or commitments weren’t on my radar. You were Nicole’s best friend. Ashton told me to stay away from you. You were off-limits but I didn’t listen. I couldn’t seem to stay away from you so I continued to pursue you.”

  “I see. I was a challenge.”

  “No…Well, probably at first, but you didn’t end as a challenge.”

  She stared at him, her face expressionless.

  “You don’t get it, do you? I got caught in my own web.”

  She didn’t comment. So, he continued, “In college, there was a girl. I cared about her…deeply.”

  Danielle blinked and then frowned with confusion. “You are in love with her, Brody?”

  He remained silent for a long time. His thoughts went to Victoria. She was a girl without money or a pedigree but no one could tell. She carried herself with such dignity and poise. He remembered looking into her bright blue eyes and feeling the warmth of her smile. At that exact moment in his life, time had ceased to exist. The weight of abandonment and humiliation lifted from his shoulders when he was with her.

  He released the air he didn’t realize had lodged in his throat.

  “Yes. I loved her.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Danielle pressed her lips together to keep from screaming. He was in love with another woman.

  Her chest hurt to the point breathing became difficult. Now she was on the receiving in of the double-edged blade. The pain was precise and deadly. Another woman was the reason he ended it. When would she ever learn to guard her heart?

  She inhaled gulps of air, struggling for control. She hated how she’d previously let her temper suck her into revealing too much of her own feelings. Especially when it was clear that he had moved on. The Internet and magazines had shown and mentioned all the women he had ‘dated’ within the last month.

  She needed to be an adult about it. “I’m sure if you let her know how you feel, she would be receptive.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The woman you are in love with, your college sweetheart?”

  “She is dead, Danielle.”

  The shock from his statement made her immobile. His words were swirling through her brain. Didn’t he say that he was in love with the woman not that he loved her?

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It happened a long time ago, my senior year in college.”

  “I’m sure it was devastating.”

  “It was.”

  “What happened to her?”

  He dropped his head for a long moment. Finally he lifted his head and stared at her.

  Feeling very uncomfortable, she uttered. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  He moved to the small bar and poured mineral water into the g
lasses setting on a silver tray. He handed her one and they both sipped slowly. After he finished, he set the glass on the bar and paced a little. She watched him, knowing how difficult this moment was for him. Finally, he stopped and came to stand in front of her, his arms crossed and legs apart. He looked as if he was on his way to the guillotine but wouldn’t let anyone see him sweat.

  Again, the silence stretched for a long period. He just stared at her with eyes dulled by something that held him in its grip. His face showed no emotion. She wished he would share his hurt and pain with her but Brody wasn’t a man who showed weaknesses. If he did have them no one would see them.

  “No one knew that she was a drug addict.” He began slowly and then paused. “At least no one in our circle of friends. She had come to Yale on a full scholarship. She wanted to be a doctor and a lawyer, imagine that.” He showed a tiny smile. “Absolutely brilliant. Then everything went wrong.”

  She remained silent, hoping he would continue.

  “She was beautiful, inside and out, but I began to notice things, small at first. She started being agitated, late for class and would blow up at something that wasn’t important. I liked her a lot, but she was out of my league. I didn’t, or rather I couldn’t talk to her much. She made me nervous. So I learned to play the brooding and quiet Indian with a chip on his should, which wasn’t far from the truth.”

  Cautiously, Danielle asked, “Did you ask her about her drug problem?”

  “No. I didn’t. It’s my biggest regret. I might have stopped the downward spiral. Anyway, she only had eyes for Ashton. I was just a friend.”

  “Ashton?”

  “There was never a lack of girls for him but I’d have to say he was very choosey with whom he slept with. He thought of Victoria as a friend, but she wanted more. One drunken night, he had sex with her and she thought it meant a commitment, and it didn’t. He hardly remembered the encounter, but it sent her over the edge. Ashton has carried the guilt of that night and I have carried the guilt of not confronting her about her addiction.”

  “People have to want to be rescued, Brody. You aren’t the savior of all.”

  “I blamed Ashton and myself for years for her death. About five years ago, we came toan understanding.”

  “Good. I can’t imagine the two of you not being friends.” She tilted her head and knew there was something else bothering him. “There’s more. What is it?”

  “You know I was adopted by the Beaumont’s?”

  She nodded.

  “I was deposited on the door of the orphanage when I was five days old. The thing is I have never been made to feel different…adopted. My parents are the best. I was there only child for thirteen years and felt loved by them every day.”

  “And spoiled?”

  He smiled. “Yeah, that too. Mom and dad tried for years to have a baby but it never happened. Mom always said she prayed and she got her miracle, which was me. Then mom got pregnant with Sally, an unexpected surprise. ” He smiled. “From the time she could walk, she was my shadow. I know she will fight to the death for me as I would her.”

  “Sally loves you very much. Being adopted was never an issue. It’s not important to your friends, family or me. Being adopted is no excuse for the way you act.”

  He looked directly into her eyes, no smile, no laughter, only seriousness. “That’s what I love about you. You get to the point of the matter.”

  Shock riveted her still. Did he just say he loved her? She shook her head to clear it. She wouldn’t read anything into what he said. It was just a word, used loosely, without merit or substance.

  “Why wouldn’t you give us a chance, Danielle?”

  He moved closer. The faint scent of his aftershave reached her and she closed her eyes as though that could help her fight its visceral impact.

  She’d analyzed everything. Everything they’d said and done. But all the careful steps and analysis in the world couldn’t give her the answers she needed.

  She was afraid—to leap—to chance what she was feeling—to end up losing her heart and soul to this man.

  He looked around the room. “When I found out my biological Native American grandfather was alive, I bought this ranch, knowing I would be forever alone. I welcomed it, but no longer.”

  “What? Why?”

  “My biological mother met my natural father in school. Just like Victoria, she’d left home, the reservation, to go away to college in Texas. She was smart, pretty and naïve, with a full year scholarship. She had wanted to become a school teacher.

  “My father, according to my grandfather, was a rich Texan from an old money family who loved my mother but loved his family more. When she came up pregnant, he politely asked her to get an abortion. He left her not knowing if she did or not. Well, she didn’t. In a rundown building, alone with a stranger who came upon her, she gave birth to me. He helped her by taking her to the orphanage, where she left me. She finally made her way back to Montana and my grandfather, where she died two weeks after giving birth to me. Apparently an infection had set in and without the immediate medical care she needed after birthing a child, there was nothing the doctors could do.”

  “Unfortunately, she died before my grandfather could find out what happened to me.”

  “And your grandfather?”

  “He passed away five years ago.”

  “Sally…”

  “She knows I had DNA testing done. That’s all. She doesn’t know anything about what I have just told you. My parents neither. I want to keep it that way.” He sighed and took her hands. “Now you know everything about me. You still haven’t answered my question.”

  “You are still a complicated man.”

  “You can handle me, Danielle.”

  “I don’t want to handle you. I want to understand you.”

  “You understand me more than anyone. I have just shared with you things that I have never told anyone, not even Ashton.”

  “Why me?”

  “Because I want no secrets between us.”

  “I still don’t believe you know how to be monogamous. I don’t want to be your experiment tucked conveniently away while you decide if I’m what you want. I won’t compromise on that.”

  “Do you honestly believe I would relegate you to a corner of my life, leave you alone…and still have other women?”

  He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, but she kept her eyes lowered.

  “I don’t share. I won’t share you with anyone. There will be no other women or men in our relationship. So Brick is out.”

  “He’s my friend, Brody.”

  “Deal with it. I say friends, not lovers.”

  He needs to find his own woman because you’re mine.”

  “I’m asking you to marry me, Danielle.”

  She shook her head, slowly, in disbelief. Her arms stayed by her sides. “You don’t’ mean it. You don’t want to marry anyone.”

  Keeping her back to him, she moved to the big four paneled window and looked out at the sun coming down over the mountain.

  The tears she didn’t want him to see ran unhindered down her cheeks.

  His throat tightened as he quietly stepped behind her.

  “Will you please look at me, Danielle?”

  At first she didn’t. He waited patiently and then finally she did. Her eyes were glassy and filled with hurt.

  Knowing he was the cause of her pain wounded him.

  With his thumb he wiped away the tears from her face. This was his second chance. He had to get it right this time…He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t lose her.

  She took a step back, away from his touch. “I can’t marry without love. I know you don’t believe in it, but I do. So please don’t ask me to. Don’t do that to either of us.”

  “I’m not asking you to. I could love enough for the both of us.”

  “I…don’t understand.”

  Confusion clouded her eyes.

  “You gave me a little piece of your mind and
I said that is what I love about you. Remember?”

  “Yes, but I thought that was just a word used out of context. It didn’t mean anything.”

  “When I met you, I knew you were special and would change my life. I didn’t want you to but it happened. Irrevocably, for the better. But I denied it myself when it came to giving you everything I could offer or be. Since the moment we quote, unquote, dated, I was so busy denying my feelings for you that I never stopped to take a measure of their depth.”

  He placed his hands on her arms. “I love you, Danielle Evans. I need you. Life is too short to throw away happiness when it’s there for the taking. I’m offering you everything. All I can give and all that I am.”

  He tugged her closer and his heart yearned to kiss her but he knew he had to convince her of his love. “I want to go to bed with you every night, no one else, only you and to wake up with you every morning in my arms.”

  He waited for her. She wet her lips and he almost groaned at the gesture.

  “Danielle.” Her name came out as a whisper, surprising even him. He stared at her, trying to read her thoughts in her eyes. A myriad of emotions flickered within her eyes, none of which he could be sure of. He felt as if he was out of his league, his control gone, he was swimming in a deep ocean and couldn’t see land. No one could save him but her.

  He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, just for the excuse of touching her again.

  “I choose you. I want you, desperately, to choose me back. I love you. I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. You are already in my heart and soul. You have all of me. There is nothing left,” he said.

  He waited. He watched.

  “Don’t leave me again, Danielle.”

  His whole being was focused on that one plea—waiting.

  Her silence lasted an eternity. Tears still shimmered in her eyes. And suddenly he was terrified of her response.

  She nodded but didn’t utter a word, and then she nodded harder. As tears spilled from her lashes and down her cheeks, again, but this time toward the smile that trembled on her lips.

  “I love you.”

  “Is that a yes?” He could hardly contain his control.