Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  This summer Olivia’s moved to Nebraska. All I have to say is good riddance. I wish my dad would move away too, maybe to Alaska.

  “What’s up?” I say.

  “Garret’s here,” Farrah quickly announces. “With Cara.”

  “I know and I don’t care. He and I are over. He can do what he wants.” Okay I’m lying just a little bit. “Look, I’m tired. I’m just gonna head out.”

  “No,” Farrah whines. “We just got here. It’s not even ten o’clock yet. You can’t be ready to go yet. We’ll keep you away from Garret. I promise.”

  “This has nothing to do with him. I’m just tired. I’ve had a couple of hard days and I just wanna go home. You don’t have to go with me. I’m sure Logan can give you a ride home.”

  “Yeah, no problem,” Logan says, trying to smile but his eyes are filled with concern again. I bet he thinks I’m this upset over Garret. I can’t tell him the truth, at least not yet.

  “Go have fun. I swear I’ll be okay. I’ll call you guys later,” I reassure them. I say one final goodbye to all of them and begin to walk towards the pile of shoes.

  “Jade!” I turn back to see Farrah running towards me. “Did something happen between you and Austin?”

  “What?”

  “Did he do something or say something to upset you? I should have never left you alone with him.”

  “No, it’s cool. I don’t give that idiot any power to upset me. I really am just tired.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Now just go and have fun. I’ll call you tomorrow.” “Okay.”

  She gives me another hug goodbye and runs off to join Logan and Jesse.

  I really wasn’t ready to come to a party. I need to get out of here. I begin to rummage through the huge pile of shoes. It’s going to take me forever to find my black flip-flops. I swear there must be hundreds of shoes here. Yes! I find one under a white sneaker. Where can the other one be?

  “What’s going on with you and Austin?” I hear someone ask. I turn around and see Holly Turner, Leah’s younger sister, standing in front of me with her blue eyes narrowed.

  “Nothing.” I turn back to the pile of shoes and continue to look for my other flip-flop.

  “Well it didn’t look like nothing. You know he’s seeing Leah, don’t you?”

  I can’t believe this is really happening right now. Yesterday I didn’t even care a thing about Austin and now it feels like he’s invading my life. Why did I have to bump into him last night?

  “I really hope you’re not trying anything.” Oh God, why is she still here? Where is my other flip-flop?

  I move a pair of three inch heals and find it. I turn back around and glance past Holly just in time to see Austin and Leah standing so close to each other you couldn’t slip a thin piece of paper between them. I look at Holly and say, “Your sister can keep Austin. Trust me I don’t want him.” I walk away wishing I’d never come.

  The minute I get into my car I begin to feel better. My phone beeps. I look at the screen and see three missed calls from my father. I don’t even have to check to see if he left me a message, I already know he didn’t. He hates talking to a machine.

  I drive home with a million thoughts running through my head. What could my father possibly want? There’s nothing that can fix this. He’s going to have a child with that woman, and there are no words in the entire English language that can make things better.

  I pull up in front of my house and notice his car in the driveway. I can’t believe he came over. Maybe he’s here to tell us Trisha is history and he’s moving back home. Please let that be it. I don’t think I can handle anything else.

  “Jade,” my mother calls out when I walk in.

  “Yeah.”

  “Can you please come into the living room.”

  I walk in and see my mother sitting on the recliner with her legs crossed. She can’t even form a smile. Her newly red hair is tossed to one side. She looks so good in her black pants and a hot pink blouse. Take that Dad! See what you left behind!

  My father sits right across from her on the other tan leather couch. He looks up and gives me an empty smile. I have a gut feeling this is not going to be a good visit.

  “Dad. What are you doing here?” I act surprised to see him.

  “Since neither you or your sister answered your phones I came over to speak to the two of you in person,” he answers with a bit of an attitude.

  Damn it, why didn’t I stay at the beach. “Didn’t you tell him I was at a party?” I ask my mother.

  “Yes, but he insisted on waiting.” My mother seems as uncomfortable as I feel.

  “Where’s Carrie?” I ask.

  “Upstairs,” my mother responds standing up. “Let me go get her.”

  I stand in the living room trying my best not to make eye contact with him.

  “I’m glad you’re home early from the party. I didn’t really want to sit around and wait for much longer. Your mother still can’t stand having me in the house.”

  “I’m glad to make things easier for you,” I snap.

  “Okay, we’re all here what do you want to tell us?” Carrie says entering the room. Her hazel eyes are puffy and her dark brown hair is tied up in a messy bun. Somehow she still manages to look beautiful.

  “Well, I guess I better start by letting you know how disappointed I am in the both of you.” Yup, I was right. He’s here to lecture us as if we were a bunch of four year olds. “The way you reacted to Trisha and my news last night was horrific. Trisha went home feeling very hurt. She was excited about our news. And silly of us to think the two of you would be just as excited as us. You owe Trisha and me a big apology.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Carrie scolds. “Its been less than a year since you left us for that woman and you want us to celebrate that you are starting a new family with her. I am not apologizing to her or you. I am never going to accept her.”

  “Well you need to learn to accept her!” My father’s body begins to quiver with anger. “She is having my baby and we are getting married in a couple months. She is going to be your stepmother!”

  Great! My life just keeps getting better and better. I can’t believe my dad wants to marry that woman. My parents’ divorce was only finalized two weeks ago, and he’s already getting married.

  “Well I don’t like it! I will never like it! In fact I never want to see you or her again! I don’t even want you at my wedding! I’ll have mom walk me down the aisle! I’m done with you!” Carrie hollers before running out of the living room.

  “Carrie! You’ll regret saying that!” My father looks at me with a softer expression and says, “Your sister has always been a bit on the dramatic side. Do you have anything to say?”

  I shake my head no fighting the tears and the knot trying to choke me.

  “Will you please call Trisha and congratulate her?”

  I shake my head again. How could he ask me to do that?

  “Come on Jade, you’re the one I was counting on to do the right thing,” my dad says taking a step closer to me.

  I step back. I really want to tell him, “How can you do this to us? Don’t you love us anymore? Don’t you love Mom? What happened to you?” But I don’t say anything. Instead I turn around and run upstairs.

  I stop at my mother’s bedroom door and see my mother holding Carrie in her arms as she cries. I walk inside and hold the both of them in my arms. This is my new family. This is who we are now.

  4

  Dealing With a Racing Heart

  It was sad to see my sister drive off this morning. I mean I was excited for her to leave, but now that she’s gone I already miss her. After last night I feel like I need her more than ever.

  I’ve spent most of the morning in my room trying to forget everything that happened. Not just with my father, but also for some strange reason with Austin. I keep thinking about what he said and how he held my hand. I keep getting this stupid weird urge to see him again.

 
; What is happening to me? I dangle my head off my bed hoping this will help empty my brain of these unwanted thoughts.

  Knock, Knock.

  “Come in.”

  “Jade, there’s someone downstairs to see you,” my mom says entering my room.

  I sit up. “Who?”

  “Come downstairs and you’ll find out.” My mother walks out with a devious smile on her face. Ohmigod, could it be Austin? Did he come to see me here? I look in the mirror and run my fingers through my long brown hair trying to give it a little life.

  I hop down the stairs with my heart racing, wondering what he could want. I step inside the living room and feel my heart come crashing down to my feet. Austin is not in the room, instead its Garret, sitting in the same spot my dad sat in last night. What could he possibly want?

  His head hangs low while his golden brown hair covers his eyes. What bad news could he be coming to tell me? I don’t think I could handle anymore. He pops his head up when he realizes I’m standing in front of him. His grey eyes are full of agony.

  “Hey,” he says in almost a whisper.

  “What’s up?”

  “I wanted to see if we could talk?”

  “If you came over to tell me you’re dating Cara I already know, and I’m cool with it.”

  “Oh.” His face falls even further. “Then I better go.” He really came over just to tell me he’s dating Cara? What a jerk! I’m so glad we broke up.

  “Alright see you later.”

  He stands up and starts walking towards the door, but then suddenly stops and turns around to face me. “No!”

  “No! What do you mean no?”

  “Don’t you care? I’ve been trying to get you to have some reaction to our breakup, but nothing. You’re like the ice queen. You don’t even care that I’m dating someone new. Someone you warned me about. Someone you said you couldn’t stand.”

  He’s got to be kidding me. “Are you serious? You came here to try to break my heart so I can have a melt down in front of you. So your ego can be okay. I’m sorry Garret, but I really can care less about who you’re dating or not. What you and I had was over the day you decided to dump me when I needed you the most,” I snap, folding my arms under my chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t sit there and cry my eyes out over you, I had other things that were breaking my heart at the moment.”

  “I didn’t come here to break your heart. I came here to see if there was any part of you that still cares for me the way I care for you. I guess I got my answer.” He spins around and walks out of my house.

  I dated Garret for nine months, and I have to admit I was happy at first. It was exciting to have a boyfriend. Everyone said we were cute together, he a football player who rocked on the football field and, I a cheerleader who actually hated every minute of it.

  Sometimes I think maybe it wasn’t my father’s fault I walked out in the middle of the cheerleading routine. Maybe it was something I’d wanted to do for a while.

  Anyway, with Garret things were easy on the outside. He walked me to my classes and we went to all the school events together, but past that there was nothing. Sure we hooked up here and there and even slept together, but it was without any emotions. We never sat down and had a deep conversation. I don’t even know what he wants to do with his life.

  When my father left us I turned to him thinking he could just hold me and be a shoulder to cry on, but he couldn’t deal with me being sad all the time. He never wanted to talk about things.

  He used tell me to go talk to Farrah or Logan. Garret wanted to pretend things were perfect, even if I was dying inside. He finally broke up with me on the very same night I had found out my parents’ divorce was finalized.

  He’s right, I didn’t cry. I just looked at him in the eyes and said, “Okay.” I knew at that moment he was not right for me. He quickly went home and changed his Facebook status to single, which prompted everybody in school to either call, text, or Facebook me about it. I didn’t change my status. Instead I deleted my account.

  “Did Garret leave already?” My mother asks when I walk into our brightly lit kitchen.

  “Yeah.”

  “What did he want?”

  “To tell me he’s dating someone new,” I answer, grabbing a bottle of water out of the stainless steel fridge.

  “Are you kidding me? He always seemed like such a nice young man. I’m sorry sweetie, I thought he came by to try to work things out with you.” She steps close to me and places her soft hands on my shoulders. With pity in her light brown eyes she asks, “Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?”

  “I’m okay. I have to go to work. I’ll see you later.” Ever since the split my mother has been trying to get me to talk about my feelings. I wish she would just understand I’m not into sharing.

  “They’re almost gone,” Logan says when I walk into Delights Ice Cream Parlor.

  “Who?”

  “The tourists. Monday is Labor Day and after that they’re all gone. I can’t wait.”

  “Yeah, and then we’ll go back to school.” I grab my pink apron and put it on.

  “Don’t remind me. At least it’s our junior year and next year we’ll be seniors and we are going to....”

  “If you say rule the school I might have to hit you.”

  He begins to laugh. “No. That’s something Farrah would say. I was going to say we are gonna par-lay.”

  “Whatever! That’s still so far away.” I wish I were a senior now so that next year I could go to school far away. There’s no way I want to stay in this town with chances of running into my new sibling.

  “So are you finally gonna tell me what happened last night? You didn’t look like everything was okay. Does it have to do with your dad?”

  The door opens and a big crowd comes in saving me from having to answer his question. “This is not over. We’ll talk later.” That’s what he thinks.

  Sometimes I hate working in an ice cream parlor. I hate having to stand there waiting for the customer to make up his or her mind. The worst part is when they announce the flavor like it’s the best thing they’ve ever heard of and then ask for a sample.

  I’m sorry, but I believe the moment you decide to get ice cream you should already know what flavor you want to eat.

  I stare at an older brunette lady, who somehow thinks she’s still a teenager. She’s actually wearing a flower headband around her head and a very tight Rolling Stone T-shirt. The mouth and tongue looks deformed on it due to her breast and belly pulling it different directions.

  She stands in front of me discussing each flavor with her friend. I try to smile but it’s getting hard. All I want to do is yell at her and tell her to pick already. Why do I always get the indecisive customers?

  The door swings open again and I fear another big group is going to enter, but it’s not a big group that walks in. Instead it’s only two guys. One of them is Derek Mitchell and the other one is—Austin. Why is he here? I finally had gotten rid of the urge to see him again.

  A smile comes across his face when his eyes focus on mine sending a very tiny electrical spark up and down my spine. Why is my body reacting this way? I hate him.

  “So this is where you’ve been hiding all summer?” he says walking up to the counter.

  “I haven’t been hiding anywhere,” I spit out through gritted teeth.

  “You don’t like me much, do you?”

  “How can you tell?” My customer rolls her huge eyes and looks annoyed that I’m no longer paying attention to her.

  “Excuse me, can I please try your triple berry banana nut?” she asks making Austin move back.

  “Sure, no problem.” I take a tiny pink spoon and take the smallest possible sample I can. “Here you go.” I hand her the spoon with a huge smile. I wish she would choose already.

  “Is it good?” Austin asks her, making his dimples appear.

  I don’t know what it is about those things, but they actually make the pushy lady blush. “Yes it is. Very goo
d.” She looks at me and says, “I’ll take a banana royal with one scoop of triple berry banana nut, one scoop of chocolate fudge and one scoop of cake batter. I want it with hot fudge, and caramel, and whip cream, and nuts.” Of course she has to order the most complex order on the menu. I hate my job.

  “Ooouu, that sounds good. I’ll take the same,” he says still flirting with the lady. She giggles like a schoolgirl.

  “Coming right up.” I look over at Austin and try to give him the most evil look I can make.

  “I remember you make that face every time you get annoyed.” He continues to smile.

  “And I remember you screaming and crying at the circus because you were afraid of the clowns,” I remind him with my own evil smile.

  Logan almost loses his scoop of ice cream as he begins to laugh. I didn’t realize he was listening to us.

  “What can I say, clowns freak me out,” Austin replies without missing a beat. “I also remember you held my hand the whole time making me feel safe.” My heart tingles. How does he remember all these things? “Forget the ice cream. I’ll see you later.” He turns around and walks out.

  “What was all that about?” Logan asks not looking pleased.

  “Nothing.”

  “Well that smile doesn’t look like nothing.” I didn’t even realize I was smiling. “He’s trouble Jade, stay the hell away from that asshole. Trust me.”

  “I told you it was nothing.” I turn around to prepare the annoying lady’s order. I wish that were true, but for some stupid reason my heart is racing. Damn him for making me feel this way.

  5

  Fooled Again

  As much as I hate working it was nice to get away from my real life for a little while. Logan offered to take me out to eat after work, but all I want to do is get home and maybe get some sleep.

  “It’s not my fault she does not want to see you!” I hear my mother yell as I walk into the house. Please don’t let it be my father again.

  I peek into the kitchen and see her talking on the phone. She paces back and forth as steam seems to blow out of her ears. “I can’t make her go. All I can do is tell her.” She listens trying hard to hold her composure. “Fine!” She listens some more. “I said fine. If that’s it I have to go now. I have a lot to do. Goodbye.” She slams the phone down making me flinch.