A Cowboy in the Kitchen

by Meg Maxwell

  “Raina, I—” Annabel tried to think of the right words to say, but she was at a huge loss here.

  “You want to know the truth about my last conversation with my daughter?” Raina said, her expression numb. “She told me she was leaving for good, that I should look in on Lucy a couple times a week because West was so inept as a father, could barely break an egg or get Lucy dressed properly.” She let out a harsh breath. “I told her she was not going anywhere, that she had a child to take care of and you don’t leave your child and she’d better grow up. I yelled at her.”

  “Oh, Raina, any mother would have said exactly that.”

  “Well, she didn’t listen. You know what she said right before she left? She said that love wasn’t enough and added an ‘obviously.’ I thought a long time about what she meant by that. That my own daughter wasn’t enough for me, that West and Lucy weren’t enough for her. Maybe I did that to her, by being so hard on her. By trying to make her into something she wasn’t. Like I’m doing with Lucy.” Her head dropped.

  Annabel took Raina’s hands and held them. “Lucy is a tomboy. A wonderful, darling tomboy. She likes climbing trees and wearing the green pants she wore the last time she saw her mother.”

  Raina sniffled. “She told me that once. I shut that down hard inside me, didn’t want to hear it. I know I need to let Lucy be herself. And I need to let her talk about her mother.”

  Annabel put her arm over Raina’s shoulders. “And you need to forgive yourself—and your daughter.”

  Raina nodded, calming down. Annabel pulled out a tissue and Raina dabbed under her eyes.

  “I know someone else who feels like he needs forgiveness, forgiveness he’ll never get because his parents are gone. Maybe over time you can talk to West here and there about your relationship with Lorna, what you wished you could have done differently, what you wouldn’t have done differently. I think that’ll help.”

  “I think I could do some healing there,” Raina said, brightening. “He’s trying so hard, isn’t he? And everyone needs a mother, don’t they?”

  “Yes,” Annabel whispered. “Everyone does. And a wonderful grandmother too.”

  “Lucy might get darned sick of how wonderful I’m going to be,” Raina said, a smile spreading over her tearstained face.

  “Never,” Annabel said. “Let’s go see our girl.”

  Our girl, Annabel thought, her heart splitting in two.

  They hurried across the street and around the side of the house. Curled up on the swing was Lucy, Clementine’s arm around her as she read her a Winnie the Pooh book from Hurley’s children’s section.

  Clementine finished the story, then said, “Look, Lucy, you have company.”

  Lucy looked over, her face crumpling.

  Raina walked over, her expression kind and compassionate. “Lucy! I was so scared when I couldn’t find you.”

  “I don’t want to be a little lady. I just want to be me.” She burst into tears, and Raina hugged her against her.

  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not going to tell you to be a little lady anymore. I only want you to be you. And I didn’t mean to make you so upset.”

  “I just wanted to see the picture,” Lucy said. “Mommy made my hair so pretty for picture day.” She touched the French braid that Raina had made for her just an hour ago.

  Tears filled Raina’s eyes. “You want to know something, sweetheart? The reason I got so upset about that photograph? It’s that my heart was hurting. Because today was your mama’s birthday. She would have been twenty-six years old.”

  “Today?” Lucy repeated, her head tilting.

  Raina nodded. “I know you and Daddy talk about your mama a lot. He probably didn’t tell you because you’re very young and wouldn’t really know what to do with the information. And I think he’s right. But I wanted to tell you so you’d understand why Nana was feeling especially sad today.”

  “Would you feel happy if we had a birthday cake for Mommy?” Lucy asked.

  “I would like that,” Raina said. “Maybe we can do that every year as a way to honor her.”

  At Lucy’s big smile, she added, “Let’s go home and bake that cake now.”

  “Annabel too?” Lucy asked, smiling up at Annabel.

  “Annabel too,” Raina said.

  As they headed back to the house, Lucy between them, a small hand in each of theirs, Annabel knew that Raina Dunkin had just officially welcomed her to the family. A family she wished more than anything could be hers.

  * * *

  That’s interesting, West thought, watching Annabel’s car come down the road, Raina’s Mercedes right behind it. When the cars came to a stop and everyone got out, Lucy hopped out and rushed over to him, and instead of telling her that little ladies walk calmly, Raina only smiled. At him too.

  That was new.

  Raina ignored Daisy, who was sniffing at her shoes. At least that was standard. Raina cleared her throat. “I’d like to talk to you if now’s a good time.”

  Uh-oh. What was this about? He glanced at Annabel, and her very pleasant expression and Lucy’s giggles as the barn cat batted Daisy’s ear told him it couldn’t be all bad.

  They walked along the road, Raina keeping her hands clasped in front her. Five minutes later, she finally stopped talking and took a deep breath, then started up again.

  “I’m very sorry, West. For how I’ve treated you this past year. For the past seven years. You were nothing but good to Lorna. And you’re a good father. You might not have fed and dressed Lucy the way I would have liked the past year, but she’s healthy and happy, isn’t she? Because of my behavior, my stubbornness, my own issues, I put Lucy in danger today. She ran away to a busy street on my watch.”

  There’d been so much to take in the past couple of minutes as Raina had spoken that West didn’t even know where to start. All he knew was that he appreciated her honesty and her apology.

  “Well, those things happen,” he said. “And I’m sure they’ll keep happening as Lucy grows up. I hear teenagers can be pretty challenging.”

  Raina smiled and extended her hand. “Shall we start over?”

  West took her hand and shook it, then reached over to hug Raina and she finally softened and hugged him back for a good fifteen seconds.

  As they started walking back toward the house, he pointed at the pasture where the four ponies were grazing. “Raina, I’m thinking—no, not thinking. I’m starting a therapeutic riding program at the ranch. For children who’ve lost loved ones and for troubled youth. But I think adults could benefit from the program, as well. And as someone who’s lost a child, you’d be a welcome addition to the volunteer staff, if you’re interested.”

  Raina’s eyes welled with tears. “I’d like that very much, West. Thank you.” She dabbed under her eyes with a tissue. “Well, I’d better get going. Too much emotion gives me a headache. Plus, I’d like to fill Landon in on everything that’s happened. I think he’ll be very happy.”

  As he watched Raina say her goodbyes to Lucy and Annabel, then get back in her car and drive up the road, he shook his head in wonder, his shoulders, his heart, lighter than they’d been in years.

  * * *

  With Lucy settled in bed and Annabel taking her own bubble bath after what had to be a very draining afternoon, West finally sat down at the kitchen table with the Blue Gulch Gazette and a cup of coffee. He was just flipping pages, waiting for Annabel to come downstairs so he could fill her in on what he and Raina had talked about, though he was sure Annabel knew already, when his hand froze on the page. An entire section was devoted to a cook-off—a barbecue burger—this Saturday night in Hurley’s kitchen between Essie Hurley and Clyde Heff. Mayor Hickham would be judging.

  There was a ten-thousand-dollar prize.

  Why on earth would
Annabel and her grandmother get involved in this?

  When he heard Annabel come down the stairs, he went into the living room with the paper. Annabel was in a tank top and yoga pants, her long auburn hair wet, a comb in her hand.

  “I’m surprised you, Essie and Clementine agreed to this,” he said, pointing at the ad. “This publicity stunt sounds like the Heffs, but not the Hurleys. And it’s not like Hurley’s Homestyle Kitchen needs the ten grand.”

  Annabel glanced at the paper, then continued combing her hair. She turned away for a moment, then looked at him. “I’ll be able to give you back the money you fronted us.”

  He stared at her as if she had four heads. “Pay me back? Annabel, we made a deal.”

  She turned toward the window, staring out at the dark night. “Yes, but you don’t need me anymore, West. Especially now that you and Raina are at peace. More than peace. You’re family now.”

  “That doesn’t mean I’m backing out of my end of the bargain, Annabel.”

  “Code of the West and all that. I know. Which is why I’m backing out for both of us. You need to move on and find a real wife. I’ve been torturing myself about how Lucy would be affected by losing me. But I realized that she needs to grow up with parents who love each other. She needs to see what a marriage really is. What love really is. That’s what’s fair to her.”

  He shook his head. “It’s like seven years ago all over again,” he said, his voice numb. “When I have to let you go.”

  She stared at him. “What?”

  He let it all out, how he overheard his parents the night of his brother’s memorial, how they’d basically said he’d ruin Annabel’s life by keeping her in Blue Gulch and that was why he’d taken up with Lorna, to keep Annabel from ending up with him, to set her free.

  Annabel dropped down on the couch, her expression numb. “I had no idea. You started seeing Lorna because you didn’t want me to end up with you?”

  “My parents thought I was nothing,” he said. “In their eyes, the wrong Montgomery brother died.”

  “No, West. They didn’t say that. I’d bet anything they didn’t say those words.”

  “Not those words. But I know that’s how they felt. Garrett was their golden child, made them proud, and then there was me, barely graduated from high school, running around with a rough crowd. They knew I’d drag you down, break your heart. They were probably right. So I let you go.”

  Annabel got up and walked over to him and took his hands. “They didn’t see you, West. Sometimes you can live right in the same house with people—people you’ve known your whole life and you don’t see them. Your parents didn’t see you, who you were deep inside, they didn’t know you. You sacrificed for me, West. You gave up the girl you wanted to save her from yourself—right or wrong. Doesn’t that tell you what a good person you were then?”

  He took a deep breath and said nothing.

  “You know you’re a good person, a good father. West, you’re even a good husband in a sham marriage.”

  He ran a hand through his hair and turned away. “So why do I care so damned much?”

  “Because it hurts when people you love, especially people who are supposed to love you, don’t see who you really are. But I’ll tell you something, West Montgomery. Your parents see you now, trust me. Back in high school and the couple years after when you were rebelling against everything, they were too busy being upset to think about what was behind all that rebellion. Now they might not be here on earth, but they’re looking down and watching and seeing and they know what you’ve done here. What you’re doing in your brother’s memory.”

  He shrugged, but Annabel had gotten through. The whole situation with his parents was complicated and would probably always sting, but West had paid tribute to them by turning their ranch into something special, paid tribute to his brother by getting the riding program going—and hell, if he could make peace with Raina Dunkin, he could find a way to make peace in his heart with his own folks.

  “Make me a new deal,” he said. “If you lose the competition, stay a few more months. Let me keep helping Hurley’s. If you win, fine, you’ll leave after Sunday dinner with the Dunkins. I’ll explain to Lucy that you’ll still come over twice a week to help with the riding program and to see her.”

  Annabel nodded. “You’ll have to tell her I’ll still be in her life, that I’ll always be there for her. That just because I won’t be living at the ranch doesn’t mean I don’t love her.”

  “You’ll tell her that. And I’ll make sure she knows it. But we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.”

  Annabel bit her lip. “We’re going to win, West.”

  He looked away. “Yeah, I know.”

  “You did more than enough for us and the restaurant. Please don’t feel you’re letting Hurley’s down.”

  He nodded, said he was going to check on Lucy and spend the night on a cot in the barn, since another calf was having some trouble. A part of him thought he should tell her how he felt about her, how he’d always felt about her, but how was that fair? To make her feel worse about wanting to leave? She’d kept her end of the bargain. Now once again, he had to let her go so she could find happiness.

  She stared at him for a moment, then nodded and walked away, his heart splitting in two.

  * * *

  West spent the rest of week avoiding Annabel and the way his chest felt tighter and tighter. He spent all his spare time working on the riding program. He even unveiled a sign on the pony pasture: Garrett Montgomery Memorial Therapeutic Riding Program.

  This is for you, brother, he said silently up to the sky. And for you, Mom and Dad. I think you’d be proud of who I’ve become.

  Sometimes when you loved someone, you had to let them go. Sometimes you did anything it took to keep them. For just a second West wished he was more the boy everyone thought he used to be, who’d do the wrong thing—so that Annabel would have to stay.

  Chapter Thirteen

  On Saturday night, it seemed the whole town had gathered on the sidewalks and streets—closed off at the mayor’s orders—for the duration of the cook-off at Hurley’s Homestyle Kitchen. The dining room was packed to capacity, folks standing in every available inch of space, a big crowd on the porch and on the sidewalk in front of Hurley’s.

  Here goes everything, Annabel thought as she helped Gram tie her apron around her back. The sight of Essie Hurley strong on her feet, looking so healthy and determined, brought a smile to Annabel’s face. Annabel wished her older sister were here to see this; Georgia would be thrilled to watch Gram take down the Heffs; soon enough Detective Slater would be going to Houston and could check up on Georgia for Annabel.

  “I can’t believe how many people are stuffed in the dining room, the porch and the backyard,” Gram said, peering out the window of her bedroom. “Win or lose, we brought the town together for a fun event.”

  “Those Heffs know how to publicize, that’s for sure,” Clementine said. “Even my birth mother is here,” she added, upping her chin at the dark-haired woman in jeans and cowboy boots standing by herself across the street. “She’s prickly and not into much contact, but I like that she’s here, even if she’s staying across the street.”

  Talk about complicated, Annabel thought, glancing at Clementine’s birth mother. She’d had Clementine when she was sixteen, and though she lived in Blue Gulch, she still kept contact with Clem to a minimum.

  “One day I’ll know her whole story,” Clementine said. “I hope anyway.” She moved away from the window and squeezed her grandmother’s hand. “Thank God for my mother and father and for you,” she added. “I’ve been blessed. I never want to forget that.”

  Gram hugged Clementine. “We’re all blessed to have one another. Win or lose at this and that, win or lose tonight, we have one another.”

  “S
peaking of losing,” Annabel said, “if Clyde somehow manages to best us, West wants me to stay on a few more months, taking care of Lucy and helping to get the therapeutic riding program off the ground so that I’ll feel more comfortable keeping some of the money.” Our marriage will still be doing its job, just more so for Hurley’s this time, she thought. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, but I agreed. Anyway, I know we’ll win and win big. No one can beat your barbecue burger, Gram. Not Clyde, not me, not anyone.”

  Gram pulled Annabel and Clementine into a hug. “I love you both so much. I love you and Georgia more than anything on this earth.”

  “I love you too, Gram,” Annabel and Clementine said in unison, hugging their sweet grandmother.

  They left the room and headed down the hall, folks calling out “Good luck!” every second. West, Lucy and the Dunkins were seated at a table by the front window, Gram’s biscuits and apple butter in front of them with a round of sweet tea.

  “Good luck, Essie,” West said, standing up to give her a hug. “I haven’t had a Clydeburger—wouldn’t dream of going over to the dark side, but I know your burger is better anyway.”

  Gram laughed. “Of course you do.”

  “Good luck, Miss Gram,” Lucy said, making Essie chuckle. She turned to Annabel and gestured to her to kneel down, then moved Annabel’s hair out of the way and cupped her hand around Annabel’s ear. “I’m wearing my Annabel clothes,” Lucy said. “Remember? This is the outfit I wore the first day you were my stepmother.”

  Annabel looked over the girl’s tank top and orange pants, so overwhelmed she had to clear her throat. “I remember, sweet Lucy.” She hugged the girl tight. “And thank you.”

  “Nana helped me get dressed for tonight. I asked her if I should wear a pretty dress and she said, well, what do you want to wear, and I said I wanted to wear my Annabel outfit and showed her, and she said it would be just perfect.”