Crown's Chance at Love

by Mayra Statham

  After a while, Mark came out telling us that Chris had knocked out. Sabrina stood up saying that we should get going, and of course this was when Nick went in for the kill.

  “I’ll get them, I’ll see you at home okay?“ he said giving her a kiss on the cheek. Sabrina’s face turned a little pink even in the dim lit night I could see she knew what he was doing.

  Turning to us, “night guys, bye Em, Dan… Mike nice meeting you.” He was making it a point of reminding me that she would be going home with him and not me. I knew nothing was going on with them, but for the first time I wondered if something had happened between them.

  Sabrina and I hung out with Emmi and Dan for a while after Nick had left. Emmi and Sabrina cleaned up inside, while I helped Dan clean the grill and pick up the pool toys the kids had left scattered.

  “Don’t take Nick too seriously,” Dan says as he’s scrubbing the grill and I stand still. I look at him, and realize he is looking at me.

  “Excuse me?” I ask him. Dan stopped scrubbing the grill now rubbing his forehead.

  “Nick can sometimes be a bit of a hardass. He is protective of Emmi and Sabrina, but especially Sabrina.”

  “Because she’s single?” I ask curiosity getting the best of me.

  “I guess, but he was like that even before Sean died. They’ve known one another since they were kids. I used to think he was in love with her, but I think it’s because she’s like family to him. His real family… well let’s just say he isn’t close to them.”

  “Huh.” I grunt acknowledging what Dan is saying, as I extend towels to dry on some lounge chairs..

  “Just don’t take it personally or let him push you out of the way. You’re good for her,” he says and I look at him. He is staring at me seriously, almost as if he knows something I don’t. I almost want to disagree with him and lay it all out for him, tell him the truth. If he only knew how not good I was for her. How I had messed up her life. shit all of their lives had been affected because of what I had done.

  “Thanks,” I stupidly mumble.

  Thankfully the girls come out and Sabrina, smiling, walks over to me, entwining her delicate fingers in mine. I look down at our hands, realizing how massive mine look against hers. Without thinking twice I pull our hands up and kiss hers softly. We say our goodbyes to Dan and Emmi promising to get together soon.

  We walk hand in hand to her car, and I load it up with the kid’s towels and pool toys they had brought over. I tried to shake my mind of what Dan had said about Nick. I am trying to shake off the impression he made on me and trying not to worry about the one I made on him. I look at her as she leans against her little red Nissan Rogue. She is so fucking pretty in the moonlight, something in my chest pulls at me. Once I load it all in I pull her in close to me. There’s an electric buzz swirling around us. I try to hide how much I want her, trying to keep my space, but my attempt is so fucking pathetic. I’ve been a walking hard on since I met her. Holding her around her waist I look down at her and she smiles brightly… too bright. Almost a little fake, which unnerves me, because that is one thing Sabrina isn’t.

  “Did you have fun?” she asks still giving me a fake smile, obviously nervous or upset about something.

  “Yeah. Emmi and Dan are pretty great. Their boys are funny. It was pretty cool seeing how all the kids get along. I expected more fighting.” I answer honestly, but I still feel like she is a little guarded.

  “Yeah, they used to fight more when they were younger. Now they all get along,” she tells me, squishing her nose, making her look so fucking cute I just want to kiss her.

  “That’s good,” I say smiling, slightly moving closer to her. Pressing her body against her driver’s side door.

  “So I should apologize about Nick,” she quickly says, letting me in on what was bothering her. I loved that she filled me in on what was bothering her, that she didn’t play mind games.

  “Babe…”

  “No Mike, first off I didn’t know he would be out here this weekend. If I would have known I would have prepared him. I think he was just caught off guard, and knowing him, a little hurt I would introduce you to Emmi and Dan before him.”

  “Don’t make excuses for his rudeness sweetheart,” I tell her honestly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I know. I just feel bad. I’m sorry about how he behaved. He is just a little over protective,” she says sounding worried. I don’t know why that bothers me.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “You know you can,” she says looking up at me, her eyes so fucking honest. I know I can ask her anything, and I know that she would tell me the truth. That was just the type of person she is.

  “Did anything happen between you two?” I ask, my fingers stroking her silky brown locks. Something gnaws at me when I see her bite her lip instead of answering me no like I had been expecting.

  “Honestly?” she asks, and damn if I don’t like where it was going, so I just nod. The hand that was in her hair now at her hip. I breath in calmly, hoping that nothing happened.

  “Okay so what I am going to tell you, Mike it needs to stay between us. No one knows. Honestly it’s too embarrassing,” she says sounding terrified. She even looks back at Emmi’s house to make sure no one else could hear us talking. I nod again and she takes a deep breath.

  “You have to know that Nick, he’s my best friend. I’ve known him forever, since we were little kids. After umm… after Sean passed away, like right after, I was a total mess. He helped me through that. He helped me find my house when I decided to move us back here. He helped me drive the U-Haul because he knew I didn’t want to spend the money on movers, but I was terrified to drive something that big on my own. When the kids have special events he is there. In every way possible he has been there and he is like a brother to me…” she takes a deep breath.

  “A year ago, the kids flew to visit with their grandparents in Maine for the summer. One night we got really horribly drunk and well umm…” I put my hand up and shook my head. If she had slept with him I didn’t need the details.

  “You slept with your best friend?” I mumble out and I don’t think I will ever forget the look of shock on her face melt into a fit of laughter. Her laughter is contagious, and I couldn’t look away from her face as she laughed even if I wanted to.

  “God no! Oh god I think I am going to be sick even thinking about that,” she says between laughs and damn if it didn’t make me twitch into a smile. I love seeing her so carefree and happy. Her laughter is beautiful, it warms me over like a perfect summer day.

  “So you didn’t sleep together?” I ask, feeling relieved. She was laughing so hard all she could do was shake her head. I start to laugh.

  “So what happened,” I ask mid chuckle.

  “Ugh… you really want to know?” she asks squishing her face, then takes a deep breath to stop her giggling.

  “Yeah.”

  “Ugh… okay… but like I said you can not tell anyone and this is the one and only time we will talk about it,” she says seriously as her head goes to my chest, my hands having a mind of their own, threading through her hair. I love her hair, its always so damn soft and smells like coconut.

  “We were drinking, Emmi and Dan had been there earlier for dinner and had left. We were drinking way too much and started to talk about how cute they are together. I mean you saw how they are? How nice it must be to have that person you know, the one you can count on. He just kept talking and I was quiet because…. well I had had that, until I didn’t. But Nick didn’t notice. Like I said we were drunk. Then he asked me if I had ever thought about him and I… maybe going there. I had. I mean he was the only single guy I hung out with really. Anyhow that lead to a whole conversation about sex and other people, then it came back to it being about him and I. Then like two drunk idiots we decided that we should try to kiss. We went in to kiss and well…

  “What?” I ask completely intrigued and tense. She’s quiet but there is a slight g
limmer of mischief in her eyes as she keeps her silence so I prod at her, “what happened?”

  “It was the worst kiss in history,” she says giggling, her eyes a little far away almost as if she is remembering it. It’s a sweet look on her and it doesn’t bother me, especially since she’d just called it the worst kiss in history. Yet I look at her seriously and she looks at me.

  “It honestly was horrible. We both moved away and stayed completely quiet, feeling completely awkward. Then for some horrible reason we tried again stupidly thinking it was going to be better, but somehow it was just worse. It was like kissing your grandmother or like I don’t even know how to explain the level of how gross it was,” she says and I chuckle.

  “Since then he’s called me the sister he never wanted, and he is like a brother. See we are really good friends, but that’s it nothing more. There was just no spark. Not even drunk was there a spark. If we had tried to push things further, it would have ruined our friendship. It would have been settling for something that wouldn’t have had a spark. He would have ended up resenting me because there was no passion or need for each other. We love one another don’t get me wrong, but it’s a friend type of love. You understand?”

  I nodded at her, leaning in to kiss her soft lips. My lips on hers I ask, “so do we have that spark?”

  She shivers, her shoulders cover in goosebumps. Watching how her body reacts to me, makes me ache for her.

  “I think so,” she whispers, her lips on mine. She parts for me and her taste touches my tongue and heats my blood. I want to know what it would feel like to bury myself in her, to taste her completely again. This happens every time we kiss, everything around me fades away. We always get caught up in heat and need and desire.

  With every kiss she gets deeper and deeper under my skin and I am not sure what to do about that. I am falling hard and fast for this girl. This beautiful mesmerizing seductress who if she knew who I was, how I had hurt her, would hate me. She’d look at me with hate and disgust in her eyes. These reminders always worked like a fucking cold shower and made me separate from her. Every time. Every time things got hot and heavy, I was the one who pulled away from her. Every time I did, I watched when she opened her eyes and saw how they were always filled with desire and hunger. Every single time.

  “How do you do that?” she asks softly and I look at her, not able to talk. Because if I do I’m afraid I would beg her to come back to my place so that I could have my way with her.

  “You always make me forget where we are. I have never been one for public displays of affection. But when you kiss me… I forget where I am,” she whispers, her breathing a little labored. Her whispers remind me of when she spent the night at my place, and my cock starts to harden even more.

  “I’m glad I’m not the only one honey,” I say, noticing my voice is husky and deep. I kiss her forehead and hold her close, unpinning her from the car door. I know she can feel how hard she makes me, but she doesn’t comment or do anything but rest her hands on my chest.

  “Mike…” she starts to say, but I interrupt her. I need to put some space between us.

  “You should go home sweetheart,” I blurt out.

  The temptation to ask her to come back to my place is too big to fight. Especially knowing that someone is watching the kids and that they are at home. Knowing it’d be so easy to make the short drive to my condo and have my way with her.

  “Mike… what if…” she starts to say and I have a feeling she might suggest coming back to my place. It might have been wishful thinking on my part. I can’t risk it because right now if she were to suggest that I’d give in.

  “You have an early day tomorrow and Nick’s at your place. Go visit with your friend. We will talk later babe,” I say gruffly, gently pushing her away from me and she looks so damn confused and a little hurt. I hate that I did that to her.

  “Okay Mike,” she mumbles and I lift her chin so that I can lean in and kiss her pillowy soft lips.

  “I’ll call you when I get home,” I tell her and she nods. I hold her close and breathe in the vanilla scent of the lotion she wears mixed with the coconut from her hair. A scent I’m not sure I would be able to walk away from.

  Sabrina

  I get home feeling like somehow I forgot something behind.

  I hate that feeling.

  Deep down, I know it’s not something, it’s more of a someone.

  I had been about to ask if I could go over to his place, but Mike cut me off and told me I should head home. I knew he was right. Nick was here and I should spend time with him. But this pull to Mike was so great. I hadn’t wanted to leave him or his arms. But then again it wasn’t like it was ever easy saying goodbye to him. Every time we were together, every time I was in his arms, the pull to him grew.

  The day at Emmi and Dan’s had been great.

  Every time we would sneak into the kitchen, Emmi would gush about Mike. How cute he was. How he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Asking if I had I seen how cute he was talking to Chris and the twins about football. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him either. Without thinking I would find our hands entangled with one anothers and I liked it. Everything had been going great until Nick had shown up.

  I love Nick. He’s my best friend, a brother. But the way he had behaved hadn’t been nice.

  I knew Nick was having issues with me dating Mike. I didn’t think it was because he somehow cared more than a friend towards me, but more because he felt his male presence in our family slightly threatened. I knew the kids talked about Mike with him. I knew that Emmi gushed about Mike and I to him. But I also knew I needed to have a serious conversation with him about where he stood with us. That his involvement in this family was in no way in jeopardy.

  Plus it wasn’t as if Mike and I were even in a relationship, we were just getting to know one another. I wasn’t sure how long Mike wanted to be in this stage of dating, that felt like dating limbo. Almost as if we had one foot in and the other ready to jump out. I knew I was going to eventually have to have bring this up with Mike, but for now it was what it was.

  The house is silent except for the quiet murmur of the tv on Sportscenter. Nick is sitting on the couch, a leg folded over the other, with a beer in hand. He looks over at me, his hair slightly disheveled, his brown eyes warm and kind. I sigh at the sight of my best friend finally home. I have missed him so much. I knew I shouldn’t count on him as much as I did. Emotionally he had been my touchstone after Sean had passed away. I knew his life had been put on hold after Sean died, and that wasn’t fair to him. After that silly night where we tried to kiss, I had started to pull away, so that I didn’t depend on him as much as I had the last couple of years. Not because things were weird between us, but more because we both needed to keep going on with our lives.

  “Hey,” I say as I sit next to him. He brings my feet to his lap. “Kids give you any trouble?”

  “No. They went to bed. I read Chris a story. I honestly never realized how many football bio’s there were until I looked at that kid’s book shelf.” I laugh. Chris was obsessed with the sport.

  “I know. I have to order them off of Amazon, bookstores don’t carry a huge selection.” He chuckled.

  “That kid is a trip,” he says laughing, taking a swig of his beer, handing it to me. I sip it, letting the cold brew relax me.

  “So that was Mike huh,” he says his hands kneading my feet. I smile at him and nod.

  We sit, pretending to watch Sportscenter. I know he wants to say something, I just don’t know if I am ready to know. I take a deep breath.

  “Yeah. So what did you think?” I ask smiling and he scowls.

  “He’s a little old Sabrina,” he finally says and I laugh.

  “Oh please, he is forty. Only four years older than us.”

  “Are you sure? I mean have you checked his ID? He could be lying you know? Because the guy has grey hair,” he says scowling.

  “I think it’s sexy,” I say smiling, watching him r
oll his eyes. “But all that’s physical. What did you think about him?” I press on, with a knot in my stomach.

  “I don’t know Sabrina. Honestly he seems a little shifty,” he says, looking at the TV. I know he is going to say something I might not like and that is why he is looking away.

  “Shifty?” I ask trying not to feel deflated. I knew by the reaction Nick had had with Mike at the BBQ he wasn’t going to give him a glowing review, but shifty wasn’t the word I was hoping to hear as he described the guy I was highly interested in.

  “Look babe, he seems genuinely interested in you,” he says, but Nick hesitates and I know he is about to lay it on me.

  “But?” I ask feeling like I am holding my breath. I wanted my best friend to like the guy I was dating.

  “But he isn’t being honest about something. I’m not sure what it is, but he’s holding something back. You guys have been seeing one another how long now? Over two months?” he asks and I know where he is going. Maybe this is why I was nervous about him meeting Nick. Nick was a straight shooter and I knew he wouldn’t hold back. Especially if he thought in the long run, Mike might hurt me.

  “Yeah, but we are getting to know one another…”

  “Still? Don’t you talk every night?” he asks, his left eye slightly twitching, making him look upset. I used to talk to him every night. Even if it was a quick, small conversation, we would check in with one another. I realize at that moment that I had been a bad friend and as soon as I had the chance I needed to address it.

  “Yes. But…” I start to say, but Nick, being Nick, wasn’t about to hold back.

  “I love you honey. I’ve known you for a really long time…” he starts to say.

  “A lifetime” I chime in interrupting, hating how soft my voice sounds.