A Life Without Fear (Life #2)

by C. S. Jacobs

  Talk about deep thoughts, we’re both quite sappy this evening.

  “Two peas in a pod, aren’t we?”

  “So it seems.” He takes a drink of his wine. “Would you like me to stay with you tonight?”

  “You don’t have to do that, we both have work in the morning. I’ll be fine.”

  “I know I don’t have to, that’s not what I asked. I asked if you would like me to stay with you,” he remarks.

  “Well, in that case, yes I would,” I say bluntly.

  “Was that so hard?” he asks.

  “No, I guess not, but you should know by now that I’ll always put up a little fight before I commit.”

  “Yes, I do know that. You’ve come a long way though Angelica, in such a short amount of time.”

  I smile at him. We take a sip of our wine in unison right as the waiter returns to our table with our food. Filetto for Blake and Gamberoni for myself, the portion size is generous and the smells are divine. Our conversation is light and fun. We share bites of food here and there and drink our wine until our glasses are empty. After Blake settles the bill we walk back to the car hand-in-hand. Our hands remain linked the whole ride home and only break once we arrive and both need our hands to carry all of my bags. I tell Blake we need to go straight to my room to unpack everything nice and neatly before anything wrinkles. He laughs but carries every bag up to my room. We start to empty the bags and put things away when he comes to the Tiffany & Co bag and I notice two boxes drop out of the bag.

  “Why is there another box in that bag?” I eye him suspiciously.

  “I got you something else.” He picks up the box from the bed and I see it’s large.

  “Oh my God Blake, you got that necklace,” I shriek. “I told you no! It’s way too much and you know it.”

  “Stop, nothing is too much for you. Nothing ever will be.” He opens the box facing me and inside sits the beautiful necklace Melissa showed me.

  “Oh Blake, it’s even more beautiful than I remember.” He places the box in my hands. “How did you do this? We walked away together, I don’t understand?” I question him.

  “I saw your eyes light up and your feet stopped the minute you saw it. Did you honestly think I was going to leave without you having it? When we were across the street getting our shoes, I had them call and get it for me. One of the perks of being a good paying customer.” He winks at me.

  “Oh Blake, thank you, I love it.” I close the box and give him a tight hug. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, honey.” He kisses my forehead, then we put the rest of my stuff away then I go wash my face while he makes a work call in the library.

  Once I’m done I can hear him talking so I change into pajamas and crawl into bed. A short time later Blake walks in. He sets the contents of his pants on the nightstand then undresses slowly. He slides into bed in only his Ralph Lauren boxer briefs and pulls my back to his front.

  “Thank you for today, Angelica, I had an amazing day.”

  “What are you thanking me for? I did nothing but put a nice dent in your wallet.”

  “I’m thanking you for the pleasure of your company, so thank you.” He kisses the back of my head. “Thank you for your concern in regards to my wallet but have faith that it’s just fine.”

  “If you say so, thank you, Blake. Thank you for everything.” I yawn loudly and nuzzle my head deeper into the pillows.

  It doesn’t take very long before our breaths slow and even out. Right before I feel sleep taking me under, I hear Blake whisper into my hair.

  “I love you, Angelica.”

  Was it a dream? Or did he say it? I hear his deep breaths behind me, I guess I’ll have to wait to find out.

  Monday morning I wake to an empty bed and a note on the pillow where Blake’s head should be.

  Angelica,

  I had to be in a meeting at 4 am. Forgive me for sneaking out, but I didn’t want to wake you. I should have told you last night, but I didn’t want you to send me home. (You know you would have.) I’ll call you this afternoon. Have a great day.

  Yours,

  Blake

  Yours, I really like the way that sounds. Mine, Blake is mine. Yes, that sounds really nice. With a smile on my face, I get up and get ready for work. Once dressed, I head out to hail a taxi and see Adam standing there waiting at the curb for me.

  “Good morning, Adam,” I call while making my way to the car.

  “Good morning, Ms. Cane,” he replies.

  “Damn it, Adam, it’s Angelica,” I scold him as I sit in the back seat.

  “I’m sorry, good morning, Angelica.”

  “Much better.”

  As he walks to the driver seat, my phone starts to ring. Looking at the screen I see it’s Granddad. Odd that he would be calling me this early.

  “Hey Granddad, is everything okay?”

  “Everything is fine, sweet girl. I’m sorry to call you so early.”

  “Don’t apologize, what’s going on?”

  “Well, we have some news regarding Edward and I thought you’d like to be updated on his current status.” I can hear the hesitation in his voice.

  “I’d rather hear it from you than my mother,” I respond blankly.

  “He was convicted, Angelica. He pled out to a lesser charge in order to avoid a trial by jury and he was sentenced to thirty-five years. He will die in a federal prison, Angelica. You’ll never have worry about him again.” I can hear his throat closing up with emotion. “I’m sorry Angelica, I wish I would’ve had him sent to jail sooner. I’m so sorry.” There’s no hiding the sadness in his voice.

  “Oh Granddad, please don’t blame yourself. Please.” I’m sobbing uncontrollably now.

  I feel this weight lifted off my chest. I thought I was already in a better place knowing that Edward was going to jail, but to hear that it’s certain and that he will die while behind bars just takes it to another level.

  “Oh Ang, please don’t cry honey. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, would you like me to fly out to you?” Concern is apparent in his voice.

  “No Granddad, I’m fine I swear it. I just need some time to digest this news, okay?”

  “Okay child, okay. I’m sure I’ve ruined your day but please try and have a good day Angelica. The nightmare is finally over.”

  “Bye Granddad.”

  I hang up the phone and sob into my hands. This is it, this is really the end of a nightmare I’ve lived with my whole life. He’s gone and he is going to be gone for the rest of my life. I can feel the tears ruining my makeup and I don’t even care, I just want to let all this sobbing out. Sobs of joy, sobs of sadness, and sobs of every emotion are being expelled from me. I thought when he was arrested I was finally at ease with that part of my life but this right now, this feeling right here, shows me how much I was fooling myself. The constant thought of maybe that maybe the charges would be dropped, maybe he would get time served and a fee, maybe he would be out on bail. No more will I fear the word maybe. From now on, I am safe. I forget where I am or how long I’ve been crying, when my door opens and cold air rushes in. I don’t even have the strength to lift my head.

  “Angelica what’s the matter? What’s wrong?” Blake’s voice is loud in my ear. He gently places his hands on my shoulders and turns me to him. I don’t say any words and just throw my arms around his neck. “Angelica, please tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to help you.” His voice is laced with concern.

  “He was sentenced Blake, he’s never going to get to me again,” I whisper. Saying the words aloud make it seem even more real. I bury my face in his neck and sob some more.

  He unbuckles my seat belt then slides in the car next to me and closes the door pulling me onto his lap while rocking me from side to side.

  “He was never going to get to you, honey. I would never have let that happen.”

  I’m ruining his suit with my tears and makeup, but he doesn’t give a shit. He only pulls me closer to him while kissin
g the top of my head.

  “I sh…sh…should get to work,” I stutter through sobs.

  “No, you shouldn’t and you know it. You need to take the day off and spend it at home. I’ll come with you. I won’t leave you alone unless you ask.”

  “D…d…don’t you have a m…me…meeting?” I ask.

  “The meeting doesn’t matter Angelica, you do.” He holds my face in his hands. “I love you, Angelica.”

  I suck in my breath loudly. His words make my stomach summersault and my heart flutter. The tears are now ones of pure ecstasy.

  “I love you too, Blake.”

  He pulls me close and hugs me tightly, kissing my head over and over.

  “Text Bill and let him know you will not be going into work today.”

  “Okay,” I respond.

  Pulling my phone out of my purse, I write Bill a short text message stating I’m not feeling well and won’t be able to make it into the office today. He responds almost immediately letting me know to take all the time I need and to let him know if there’s anything he can do for me.

  “Done,” I state as I rest my head on Blake’s shoulder.

  “Good, now let’s get you back home, okay? Do you want to call Joey?” he asks.

  “No, I’ll call him later. I just want to be with you right now.”

  “Okay baby, okay.”

  I turn to face him and kiss him on the cheek.

  “Thank you, Blake. You’re always here when I need you, always.”

  “I always will be, Angelica, I swear to you.”

  “I know you will.”

  The rest of the drive is silent. Adam doesn’t break contact from the road in front of him. God how embarrassing, he not only witnessed my break down but then somehow managed to get me to Blake. I owe him a thank you. Blake is holding my hand tightly. As soon as we arrive at my house he opens the car door quickly and walks me up the steps. I open the door and he locks it behind us. Once inside he grabs my hand and walks me up to my room.

  “Change into something comfortable and I’ll start a fire in the library.”

  Nodding I walk into the closet and do as he says. Once I’m in my PJ’s I head to the library where he has the fire going and a blanket on the couch ready for me to get under. I walk over and lay down, once my head hits the pillow I can feel the tears stinging my eyes waiting once again to break free. I hear Blake coming up the stairs a short time later.

  “I’m sorry. I had to ask Adam to retrieve my stuff from the office,” he states as he slips his shoes off and lies behind me on the couch.

  “Are you sure you don’t need to be in the office?”

  “Positive,” he responds.

  He holds me as I cry, never trying to shush me or talk to me, just holding me. A while later the tears are gone and my breathing is even. I head up to my room and take a long bath while Blake stays in the library and gets some work done. Clicking on the stereo in my bathroom, Tracy Chapman fills the air with ‘Fast Car’ her voice is perfectly soothing for my bath. Once the tub is filled, I slide in and let the hot water absorb all of my worries and stress. I could almost laugh that I don’t have to worry about him ever again—it’s such an amazing feeling. Determined to not give him the time of day anymore, I start to plan my Thanksgiving feast. I should really take advantage of my day off and get all the grocery shopping done. Bill gives us a five-day weekend for Thanksgiving, we’re extremely lucky, but God knows I don’t want to be grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving because it’ll be a madhouse.

  Feeling refreshed, I hop out of the tub and go in search of some warm clothes to wear and while searching I can hear Cyndi Lauper singing about ‘Time after Time.’ Blake’s been there time after time for me, always waiting. He’s always there to catch me when I fall and I have a feeling he will always be there. In a much better mood, I dance around my closet while I slip into some skinny jeans and my Uggs. Searching for my NYC sweatshirt, I’m startled to find Blake leaning in the doorway with a large smile just watching me.

  “Enjoy the show?” I ask with my hands on my hips.

  “More than you know. I love to see you happy Angelica.”

  “I know you do Blake, it’s you that makes me happy. So thank you.”

  “I’m not sure I do much, but you’re welcome either way,” he responds.

  Realizing that I’m topless I find a long sleeve shirt and slip it on then put my sweatshirt on over it.

  “I’m going to go Thanksgiving shopping, want to join me?” I ask.

  “Of course, would you mind terribly if we swing by my apartment so I can change into something a little more comfortable,” he says while pointing to his dress suit.

  “I suppose, although you do look quite delectable in that suit. But you might be out of place in the milk aisle.” I wink at him while grabbing my purse off my bed, then follow Blake down the stairs and out to Adam, who’s waiting.

  “Does this man always just wait?” I ask Blake.

  “When I ask him to, yes,” he says bluntly.

  We slide into the car and make the trip to his penthouse. Once we arrive we make our way into the building then up the elevators to his floor. While waiting in the living room while he goes and changes. I make sure to have my list handy and review it to ensure everything’s listed. Blake comes out a short time later in dark wash jeans and black leather boots. He’s wearing a crème colored shirt with a gray coat over the top.

  “Good God Blake we’re going grocery shopping, not down the runway,” I yell from my spot on the couch.

  He gives me that lopsided smile I’ve come to love. Standing, I hold his hand and we head out of the penthouse down to the parking garage.

  “We’ll need the SUV for this trip. Hopefully, I can buy everything in the one trip,” I tell him as we walk out of the elevator.

  “Whatever you want, honey.”

  “Oh, sugar plum, I just love pet names.”

  “Sugar plum?” he asks.

  “Haha, okay, okay, I’ll try and think of a better name for you.”

  Hoping in the car we head to Whole Food right up the street from Blake’s penthouse. Finding parking quickly, we make our way inside the store hand-in-hand. Something about the normalcy of what we’re doing makes my heart feel lighter. I just feel right being with Blake like this. I can picture us grocery shopping weekly. Going over what we want to make for dinner during the week, what kinds of new recipes we want to try, and finding the right wines to pair with our dessert. It’s a nice feeling.

  “We’re going to need a cart for this trip.” I smile at him as we walk to the rows of shopping carts.

  Walking ahead of me he grabs a cart while still holding onto my hand.

  “Okay, first things first, we need to find a turkey and a ham. Those will be the main event. We can’t have Thanksgiving without them. Then we need vegetables, fruit, and bread. Oh, and we can’t forget the wine.”

  “We can get the wine from Oak & Steel, it’s right across the street from my place. They carry the best wines.”

  “Perfect. Shall we get started?” I ask pointing to the meat aisle.

  “Let’s.”

  We spend a little over an hour going up and down every single aisle in the supermarket. I found a lovely ten-pound turkey and a five-pound ham. Blake was flabbergasted by the size of the turkey, but I explained that the best part about Thanksgiving was the leftovers the next day. After finding everything I need from my list, we head to the register to check out. While I’m unloading our cart, Blake takes this moment to swipe his card on the terminal beating me to pay. I give him an evil glare.

  “I’ll get you back for that Blake. I told you I was paying for the food,” I whisper in his ear, trying to not make a scene.

  “I couldn’t let you pay for all this food, you’re already going to be cooking it all. That’s payment enough.” He stares at me sternly.

  “I’m not happy about this.”

  “You’ll get over it,” he responds with a smile.
>
  “Jerk.”

  “I love you too, sweets.”

  I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my lips, he knows he’s got me now. The cocky bastard. The very sweet cocky bastard. After paying for everything we head back to his car and load everything into the trunk.

  “There’s a Williams Sonoma next door, want to run in really fast to find a serving tray for the turkey and ham? I don’t know that I have any that big,” Blake states.

  “Oh, good idea, we have to be fast though we have food that needs to be refrigerated in the trunk.”

  Walking quickly we make our way to the store and search for serving platters. After asking an employee for help, we find what we need and are back within minutes. Heading back to his place he parks out front.

  “Don’t move, I’ll have the bell boy take this up,” he says.

  Hopping out of the car he runs to the bellboy and tells him what he needs. The man runs inside to retrieve a cart while Blake walks to the trunk. Together they both load up the cart. Once everything is unloaded the man walks back inside while Blake hops back into the car.

  “Man, I can’t complain, but you have a pretty good set up here,” I say.

  “I pay a lot for this setup,” he responds. “It’s one of the perks.”

  “Nice perk.”

  He takes my hand and brings the back of it to his lips and kisses it lightly. Sending chills all the way to my toes, I just love those small sweet gestures. He pulls away from the curb and we are off again, this time only a block away.

  “We could’ve walked here you know?” I tell him as we get out of the SUV.

  “I thought we could just stock up on wine, I’ll need the trunk.”

  “Good idea.”

  Oak & Steel is a high-end wine store. The aisles are lined with all different types of wine from many different countries. Blake grabs a cart yet again and we begin to make our way down the first aisle. I feel my cell phone vibrating in my purse, reaching in and retrieving it I see it’s Betty. A smile instantly forms on my face, I love when they call.

  “Hey Betty,” I answer.

  “Hey there, sweet child, I didn’t catch you at work did I?” she asks, her tone is a little off.