A Change Of Pace

by Freya Barker

  In no time at all, I have to let go of Millie, who has barely moved since we found her, and lay her on a gurney.

  "I'm sorry, sir, you'll need to step out."

  "That's my daughter," I explain, resisting the nurse's pull on my arm.

  "I understand, sir, but please let us do our job."

  Already the curtains are being pulled shut around her and the last glimpse I get, as a nurse unzips Freddy's jacket, is my little girl's shirt, ripped clear down the front.

  Steady arms slide around me from behind, propping me up as my legs threaten to give out.

  "Come with me," I hear Freddy's voice behind me, and I let her lead me into a small waiting room on the other side of the hallway.

  "He touched her," I grind out when rage takes over. "That piece of shit touched my little girl."

  "I think he tried, but—" I brusquely shake off the soothing hand Freddy puts on my arm.

  "Are you protecting him?" I turn on her, knowing I'm lashing out but unable to stop myself. My anger needs a place to go. "Is that why that kid was still walking the streets? Local kid, his dad OPP, and everyone turns a blind eye?"

  Fuck.

  I'm not being fair, I fucking know it. And even if I didn't, it's all over Freddy's face, as is a truckload of hurt. I turn away so I don't have to see what I'm causing. Leaning my elbows on my knees, I bury my head in my hands.

  Boulder whimpers, and from the corner of my eye, I see the big dog rest his head on his mistress' knee, right beside the clenched, slim hands she tries to stop from shaking.

  This woman, who went out on her own to look for my girl, who not only found her, but covered her up and carried her out of the woods on her fucking back. And I just blasted her.

  Shame and an unhealthy amount of guilt blur my vision.

  "I'll be back."

  Her voice is soft as she gets up and takes a few steps toward the door. My hand shoots out, snagging hers and stopping her in her tracks. When she turns to face me, I sink on my knees on the floor and wrap my arms around her, my face pressed in her soft belly. Words are cheap, even if I could find the right ones to let her know how sorry I am.

  "I'm still scared," I admit softly. It's true, she may be across the hall, but I have no idea of the damage done to her since last night. "I'm so grateful you found her, but I'm still terrified. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

  My eyes burn when I feel her hand come up and curve around the back of my head.

  "I know."

  -

  I've lost track of time, at some point someone came in with a clipboard of questions I had to fill out, but that was a while ago. So I have no idea how long we've been waiting, when a young guy in scrubs walks in.

  "Mr. Tobias?" He's already holding out his hand in greeting. "My name is Dr. Carnes, I've been looking after your daughter. Looks like we may have dodged a bullet: the MRI shows no evidence of a fracture or a bleed in her head." I blow out a sigh of relief and Freddy squeezes my hand. "She did sustain a concussion. I closed the deep laceration on the right side of her head, for which we've had to shave some of her hair. She has quite a few stitches, but when the hair grows back it should cover any remaining scar. The one on the back of her skull we were able to glue shut, it was relatively small and superficial."

  "I didn't see that one," I say, more to myself than anyone else. I wonder if the injury on the back of her head is the one that disabled her enough to be able to get her in the truck. I know for a fact, she would not have done so voluntarily. It also would explain the small blood drops Jim's men found last night.

  "We didn't discover it until I'd already closed the other cut. The other thing we looked at was her right wrist, which was a bit swollen and seemed tender. We took an X-ray, but it shows no break or fracture. We're treating that like a sprain. The cut on her foot was cleaned and closed with a few stitches, and the rest of the cuts and scrapes have just been cleaned."

  "Thank you." I note he hasn't mentioned anything about her torn shirt, and as much as I don't want to know, I have to ask. "Were there any signs of sexual assault?"

  "Your daughter was very clear that a rape kit was not necessary. Her shirt and sports bra were torn, and we noted some bruising on her right breast, but her underwear was in place and untouched. We already handed everything over to the authorities."

  I swallow hard, grateful to find out that at least she was spared that trauma. My girl has enough to last her a lifetime.

  "When can I take her home?"

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Freddy

  I almost walked out of there.

  If he hadn't grabbed my hand—I would've. Not because I don't understand his misplaced anger, I actually do, better than most might. I just don't have any reserves left—no resilience—I'm already raw. I'm at a point where I'd like to roll up in a fetal position and suck my thumb.

  Then for the second time in twenty-four hours, this large, strong, and composed man made himself vulnerable to me in a way I couldn't walk away from.

  News Millie's been found is doing the rounds. My phone started chiming just after the doctor finished telling us that since Millie has a concussion, was hypothermic, and in shock when she was brought in. She'd be hospitalized for a few days. I ended up turning off my phone, when even the incessant buzzing with the sound off was driving me nuts.

  Jim came back at the same time a nurse walked in to alert us we could see Millie. Only two people allowed at a time though. Since Jim needed to ask her a few questions, and time was of the essence, he went in with Newt.

  I have no concept of time in this windowless space, but judging by Boulder's restless pacing, he needs to go out. I clip on his leash and walk into the hall, surprised to find it already almost dark out. Other than a cup of water from the cooler in the corner of the waiting room, I haven't had anything since probably sometime this morning, but only notice the ache of an empty stomach now.

  The desk at the nurses' station is empty when I pass. I was going to leave word where I'm off to, but the dog is pulling on the leash, the need apparently high.

  The rain has finally stopped but the air is still cool. My clothes have had a chance to dry, but the capri jeans and tank top don't really give much protection from the chilly evening. I walk Boulder over to the little patch of grass, on the other side of the parking lot, and let him do his business, wondering how my other guys are doing.

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I notice a pile of texts and voice messages, which I don't want to deal with right now. Ignoring them, I dial Alex first.

  "About time," he answers. "And remind me to smack you upside the head for taking off on your own. Are you nuts?"

  "Alex, she's safe now and I'm fine."

  "And I'm glad, but dammit, Sis, you scared the snot out of me. I get back with the search team, only to find out you've gone off, alone and unprotected. Do you realize how lucky you are nothing happened?"

  I listen to him berate me, and I let him. Another man in my life who translates fear to anger.

  "I was due a little luck," I reply dryly, and am met with silence.

  "Can't argue that," he finally concedes.

  "Are you at my place?"

  "Yes, just talked to Jane, I'm staying the night and heading back tomorrow. Your brood is fine, by the way. George in particular is very fine, I forgot to put the latch on the feed bin in the barn."

  "Oh no..."

  "I swear that goat of yours gave him a hand. Those two are like Laurel and Hardy."

  "Best buddies."

  "More like partners in crime, but okay. So how is Millie?"

  "Physically it looks like she will recover, and otherwise, we'll have to wait and see. We don't have the full story yet."

  "Fair enough. I'll come find you tomorrow morning before I head out, okay?"

  I smile; my brother is making assumptions about my whereabouts when I don't even know where I'll be five minutes from now.

  "Sounds good."

  I shoot Jess a quick messa
ge, giving her the bare bones of an update and asking if Bijou is okay with her for one more night. I can pick her up tomorrow when I find out where my car is. Her answer is immediate and affirmative, as brusque as the woman herself.

  I left Bella in Katie's care this morning when I left, and since I doubt Newt is thinking clearly yet; I give her a quick call.

  "We're so relieved you found her," Katie answers without even a hello. "Jim swung by to fill us in. Will she be okay?"

  "Sounds like it. Jim and Newt are with her now. I thought I'd check in to see about the puppy."

  "She's fine. I'm home with the kids, but Matt and Jenna are over at Newt's place with her. Matt said he'd stick around there ‘til you guys get home."

  "Thank you so much for every—"

  "Oh hush. I don't want to hear it. Don't worry about a thing, we've got it all handled."

  Feeling a little better now that I know all the critters are looked after, I make my way back to the hospital, only to see Newt running out the doors—stopping in his tracks when he spots me.

  "Jesus, I didn't know where you'd gone to. I thought you'd taken off."

  Without breaking stride, I walk right into his arms, which instinctively wrap around me. I can feel the pounding of his heart. Without any sleep for what has to be thirty-six hours or more now, and what has to be a huge adrenaline let down, I'm surprised the man's still standing.

  "I wouldn't. Boulder needed a pee, that's all," I assure him.

  "Millie asked for you," he mumbles in my hair. "We got most of the story, but she's skipping over some details that I think you might be helpful with."

  "Can you give me the short version so far?" I ask, leaning back to look in his face.

  "She never saw the truck until it pulled up beside her. He probably parked just past my place where the road ends. She recognized the truck, stopped, and he rolled down the window, telling her to get in. She didn't, started walking again, and she can't remember much more, other than going down on the grass before everything went black. He must've hit her with something. She doesn't recollect being in his truck at all. She says she doesn't recall how she got into the pipe you found her in. She just remembers Boulder suddenly being there."

  "She's holding back," I tell him, stepping out of his hold before taking his hand and walking to the entrance. "When I found her she asked me if he was out there. She was talking about Billy. She was in that pipe, hiding from him."

  He walks me to Millie's room.

  "I'll wait out here."

  I lift up on my toes and give him a quick kiss before pushing open the door. Boulder makes a beeline for Millie; his front paws on the railing around the bed, his snout buried in her neck. The only thing about the dog that is not careful is his wildly wagging tail, and I know he's holding back from jumping right into bed with her. He knows his job; he doesn't need me to tell him to be wary.

  Sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed, Jim nods at me.

  "Hey, honey."

  Millie's eyes lift from Boulder to me.

  "Can I talk to you alone?" Her voice is a little hoarse, but she gets right to the point.

  "Jim?" I turn to him. "Could you give us a few minutes?"

  "I just have a few more—"

  "Please?" I reinforce, cutting off his protest.

  "Sure," he finally concedes, getting up and walking out of the room.

  I snag his vacated chair and pull it closer to the bed, carefully taking her hand without disturbing the IV.

  "I kicked him in the balls," she launches right into it. No hesitation.

  "Good for you."

  Fifteen minutes later, I kiss her cheek, tell her to get some rest, and step out of the room where the two imposing men are waiting in the hall.

  I try to be as clinical as I can when I tell them how, when she came to, she was on a mattress in the bunker. Billy had a knife to her throat and told her he'd slice her if she didn't stay still. He ripped her shirt, cut the front of her bra and touched her, but in doing so dropped the knife. She saw her chance, and tried to scramble away, but he grabbed her leg, and she hit the ground hard.

  As I'm talking, I can feel the anger coming off both men in thick waves. I want to bet Millie could sense that too.

  "She says she was dazed. When she got her bearings, he was standing over her, his dick in his hand."

  "I'm gonna castrate him," Newt growls under his breath, and I put a restraining hand on his arm.

  "You may not need to. Millie says she just reacted, pulled back her legs and with both feet nailed him in the package. Took him down, but when she was halfway to the door, he caught up with her, tackled her from behind, and she hit her head on the edge of the firepit."

  "Jesus..."

  I can see how hard this is for both men, for very different reasons, which is why I forge ahead. Better to rip the Band-Aid off.

  "Next thing she remembers is the rain. Being wet and cold. When she realized she was still in the bunker, but alone, she took off." I turn to Newt. "Apparently you hammered into her to find shelter and stay put if ever she got lost. That you would always find her. So that's what she did."

  "Except you found her," he says, hooking me around the neck and pulling me into his chest.

  From the corner of my eye, I see Jim turning and walking down the hall, his shoulders slumped. Despite what may have happened before, I hurt for the man.

  Newt

  Leaving her in the hospital is hard, but it was Millie herself who insisted I get some sleep.

  It took a bit for me to get a grip after Freddy filled us in on the full extent of Millie's ordeal. Jim took off, before I even had a chance to tell him I wanted to add sexual assault against a minor to the kidnapping and assault charges already on the table.

  Millie was almost asleep when I went in, but she managed to wrap an arm around my neck when I bent over the bed to kiss her.

  "Love you, Daddy."

  "Love you more, Sweet Pea," I managed to whisper back before she went on to send me home.

  We both leave our numbers at the nurses’ station, in case of an emergency, and I'm about to call for a cab when Freddy spots Jim pacing outside, a phone to his ear.

  "You don't have to tell me," he says when we approach; as he tucks his phone in his pocket and lifts a hand defensively. "Those charges will be added."

  He ends up driving us home, where Freddy's car is already waiting in the driveway.

  "I should probably go home," she says, pointing at her car, when Jim drives off. "It's already after midnight. You need to get some sleep."

  "Stay."

  She looks at me inquisitively, trying to get a read, before she nods and follows me inside.

  I don't know why it's so important she stay, just that it is.

  Matt is camping out in my living room, Bella draped over his lap, fast asleep.

  "I tuckered her out," he says, grinning. "Figured she'd sleep through the night, give you some rest."

  "I see that. And thanks."

  "Millie gonna be okay?"

  I'm about to say yes, but realize I really don't know. She'll recover from her injuries I'm sure, but I'm worried about her mental state.

  "She'll be fine," Freddy answers for me, giving my hand a squeeze. "They're just keeping her a few days for observation."

  "Good to know," he says, looking from Freddy to me and back. "Let me just put this little girl in her crate." Bella doesn't even flinch when he gets up to do just that. "I could've brought her over to our cottage, but if my Julia had got one look at her, I might not have been able to give her back. That girl wants a puppy so bad, I can taste it."

  We say our goodnights and I follow Freddy into the kitchen, where she peels the plastic back on a tray of sandwiches. I'm too tired to even question where that came from.

  "Here," she says, shoving one in my hands. "We need to eat, and then we need to sleep."

  I end up eating a second one, before I let her shove me up the stairs.

  "Go. I'm just
going to put a few things away and shut off the lights. I'll be up shortly."

  I do my thing in the bathroom, strip down to my boxers, and roll on my side in bed. I don't even have the energy to take a shower, although I could probably use one.

  It doesn't take long for Freddy to walk in and I watch through slitted eyes as she strips bare and grabs a T-shirt from my drawer to pull over her head. It's on my lips to protest covering all that beauty up, but I stay quiet.

  It's not until she comes out of the bathroom, and slips under the covers behind me, that I move. Rolling straight onto my other side, gathering her close. She doesn't even startle, just tucks her head under my chin and wraps herself around me.

  "Now I can sleep," I confess, and she just hums, pressing a kiss in the hollow of my throat.

  But ten minutes later I'm still awake, my mind on my little girl.

  "I hope she'll be okay," I mutter at no one in particular.

  "She will be..." Freddy's sleepy voice muffled by my body. "We've got her back."

  I tuck her a little closer, kissing the top of her head.

  "Thank you."

  I'm not specific. There isn't just one thing I'm grateful for, and I don't think I'd be able to express my gratitude any better than just with those words. They come straight from the heart.

  "You're welcome," she mumbles, sighing deeply, her breath against my skin.

  Sleep comes easy after that.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Newt

  "Dad, I'll be fine!"

  No more Daddy since she got home yesterday and discovered the word 'no' is still part of my vocabulary. I may have been a bit of a pushover while she was safely tucked in the hospital over the weekend, but now that she's up and about, I have to set some parameters. I've lost decades this past week and that is not an experience I wish to repeat ever.

  She's mad because I won't let her go into Parry Sound with Jenna and her dad to play mini-golf. I'm pretty sure Matt was not in on the invite or he would've passed it by me first. I'm guessing Millie is getting a little cabin-fevered being mostly holed up in the house, which is kind of ironic, since not that long ago she stayed holed up by choice.