The Beloved Disciple

by Beth Moore

  The winds of the Spirit whisked John from all that was familiar to the city of Ephesus. Decades separated him from those early days of water turned to wine and fishes turned to feasts. For most of us age means sketchy memories and vague details. Not John. He recorded his clear memories in indelible words: "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched-this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us" (1 John 1:1-2).

  John didn't climb gradually to a pinnacle in his writings. He started at one. His letters seem to open with the mouth of a crescendo as if he had waited until he was about to explode to write it all down. I'm not sure the Holy Spirit as much fell on John as leaped.

  Again and again I love to remind believers that our faith is based on fact. Beloved, decades had passed. Each of the disciples had hoped Jesus would return before they died; yet even with the promise yet to come, not one of them wavered! You would think John's certainty might have waned or weakened with time and distance but listen to his unrelenting witness! He said the reason he kept preaching was "so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ" (1 John 1:3).

  The Greek word for "fellowship" is koinonia. The Amplified Bible illustrates: "What we have seen and [ourselves] heard, we are also telling you, so that you too may realize and enjoy fellowship as partners and par­takers with us. And [this] fellowship that we have [which is the distin­guishing mark of Christians] is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ (the Messiah)" (1 John 1:3).

  Both concepts of partnership and partaking are wrapped up in the won­derful word koinonia. My husband is a partner in business, but his partner­ship can as easily translate into deficit as profit. If the company doesn't do well, he loses. If the company surpluses, he gains. As partner, he always par­takes of the work but not necessarily the profit. As those in fellowship with God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, our partnership in the kingdom never translates into a deficit. The kingdom of God only operates in sur­plus-inconceivable riches and more than we could ask or imagine!

  Dear partner, do you more actively partake in the works involved in partnership or the profits involved in partnership? You and I can be saved to the bone and yet blend in perfectly in our workplaces and neighbor­hoods. Goodness knows, carnal and ineffective Christianity are rampant. I can say that without condemnation because I've practiced both. Our fellowship with the very presence of God is the only thing that sets us visibly apart.

  I love verse 4. At this point in John's life, he began to sound a lot like his Teacher. "We write this to make our joy complete." Sounds a lot like the words of Jesus in John 15:11, doesn't it? "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

  I'm experiencing one of those times when I want to stand up to type. In fact, I believe I will. Based on our previous discussions of John 15 and John 17, do you grasp that Jesus so thoroughly enjoyed His relationship with His Father and with His followers that He wanted everyone else to enjoy it too? Perhaps the most distinguishing mark of a true partaker of the riches of God and Christ is that the partners cannot hoard the treasures. They want everyone else to enjoy them too. Authentic partners and par­takers of koinonia simply cannot be selfish. Their joy is only complete as others share in it.

  Beloved, my koinonia with the Father and Son is light-years from the apostle John's, but I do know what he's talking about. In fact, it's my fever and my total passion. I so thoroughly love and enjoy seeking and finding the living, breathing Son of God that I cannot stand for others to miss the joy. That many have diluted the dance of true koinonia to the ritual footsteps of stale religion drives me crazy! He's so thrilling and adventurous that I can't keep Him to myself. I want others to fellowship with me as I fellowship with Him! Do you hear 1 John 1:3-4? That's what I believe John was trying to say. From receiving many letters along the way, I believe many of you feel the exact same way.

  The next verses in 1 John 1 describe some of the reasons why this koinonia is so precious to me. In verse 5, John wrote, "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." I can hardly wait to tell you what that statement means to me.

  Dear one, I've seen such a dark side of life. I have seen darkness in people of light. I then nearly despaired of life as I faced the dark side of my own self. We can run from the reminders of the dark side of this world, but we cannot hide, for we find them in ourselves. If we stick our heads out of our shells at all, the newspapers and magazines are full of reminders. In the time it takes you to complete this day's study, a father has been murdered, a woman has been raped, and a child has been abused. At times I read spe­cific accounts and feel as if I can hardly bear to stay on this planet another minute. Only knowing God has not forsaken this world and that He is light and in Him is no darkness at all keeps us hoping and believing.

  God has no dark side. Hear that! Absorb it to your marrow! No mat­ter how many theological questions remain unanswered to you, of this you can be sure: God has no dark side at all! You see, that's why He can purify all of us no matter how dark our sides have been. He is utterly, perfectly pure. Oh, don't you just want to stop right now and tell Him how much you love Him? Do you see that His total lack of darkness is also why you can trust Him? He is incapable of having an impure motive where you are concerned.

  The safety I find in Christ and the pure "blast" He is to me make me desperately want to stay in fellowship with Him. Don't you?

  First John 1:9 tells us the secrets to sharing a life of fellowshipping with Christ and walking in the light. "If we confess our sins . . ." The basic Greek word for "confession" is homologeo, which is derived from two other words. Homou means "at the same place or time, together." Lego means "to say."

  In essence, confession is agreeing with God about our sins. The por­tion of the definition that holds the primary key to remaining in koinonia is the expediency of "the same place or time." I have confessed and turned from some sins in my life that profoundly interrupted koinonia. Why? Because I waited too long to agree with God about them and turn. I still found forgiveness, but koinonia was broken through the delay. As God began to teach me to walk more victoriously, I learned to often respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit at the "same place or time," thereby never leaving the circle of fellowship or the path of "light."

  You see, some of us think fellowship with God can only be retained during our "perfect" moments. I want you to see how 1 John 1:8 refutes that philosophy. "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."

  You might ask, "How can a person sin grievously and still remain in fellowship?" Please understand, all sin is equal in its demand for grace, but not all sin is equal in its ramifications (see Ps. 19:13). A person who com­mits robbery, adultery, or vicious slander departed koinonia when he or she refused to agree with God over the sin involved in the thought processes leading up to the physical follow-through. Think of koinonia like a circle representing the place of fellowship. We don't just walk in and out of that circle every time a flash of critical thinking bolts through our minds. I don't even think we leave that circle if a sudden greedy, proud, or lustful thought goes through our minds.

  If we're in koinonia with God, the conviction of the Holy Spirit will come at that place and time and tell us those thoughts or initial reactions aren't suitable for the saints of God. We never depart koinonia if we respond with something like: Yes, Lord, You are absolutely right. That's not how I want to think. I do not desire to entertain those kinds of destructive thoughts. Forgive me and help me to have thoughts that are honoring to You and unharmful to me. Confession without delay not only helps keep us in koinonia; it is part of our koinonia!

  I have had many conversations with people who can't imagine being that honest and "out front" w
ith God over their thought lives. If we don't learn to get honest with God over our thought lives, we will never allow Him to teach us new ways to think. If we never develop renewed minds, consistent victory and glorious koinonia will tragically elude us. Dear one, God already knows your thought life! Our conviction is telling us not only that He knows but that He wants to apply His grace to the problem and correct it. By agreeing with God, we bring our thoughts or initial actions straight from our minds or mouths into the light! But I'd rather keep them hidden in the dark; I'm too humiliated, some might say.

  We're not keeping anything hidden in the dark from God. Psalm 139:11-12 tells us that darkness can't hide us because God sees in darkness as if it were bright day. The only thing we accomplish when we leave our sins in the dark is opening a door for the enemy to tempt us to the next level. Ultimately Satan's goal is that we heap sin upon sin. Our joy and pro­tection is right in the circle of koinonia light!

  Here's one catch: We can respond to conviction and agree with God expediently over our sin and still inadvertently exit the circle of koinonia. How? By refusing to accept and believe God's forgiveness and our fresh purification. You see, agreeing with God over our forgiven state is just as important as agreeing with God over our sin! If Satan can't tempt us to hide our sin and refuse to confess, he'll tempt us not to accept our forgiven and purified state. If we persist in feeling badly, we will think destructively and then ultimately act it. Don't let the devil get away with that! Koinonia is your right in Jesus Christ! Make His joy complete.

  Chapter 32

  A LOVE LETTER

  How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

  I can hardly type for wanting to rub my hands together and say, "Hot dog! Let's get to the love!" (Aren't I scholarly?) One of the most important transitions we've seen in our study of the life of the apostle John is his abandonment of ambition for affection. If we get any one-liner out of this Bible study, let that be it! But let us go further than the issue of ambition and abandon any number of dead works for affection.

  Ambition may not be your issue, although I am convinced we can pos­sess it without even realizing it. Secretly and subconsciously wanting to make a name for oneself-all the while rationalizing that God can share the glory, too-is frighteningly common in the body of Christ. We either glorify God or ourselves, never both. Somewhere along the way, the apos­tle John chose God alone, engaging heart, soul, mind, and strength.

  The beauty of choosing to glorify God alone and to pursue a love for Him beyond all else is that every other thing of authentic value comes in the package. Remember Matthew 6:33? "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

  One of our greatest needs as we try to live sanely in our tornadic cul­ture is simplicity. God offers us the privilege of surrendering ourselves to the only "one thing" that ensures everything else of great value. You can't beat a deal like that! We see a perfect example of this concept in the apos­tle John. As the "disciple Jesus loved," John chose to believe and fully receive the love of Christ above all other things. What was the result? Just as Solomon asked for wisdom and became the wisest man in history, John prioritized love and became a flooding wellspring of affection. When God esteems our prayers, we get what we asked and far more.

  I wish we had the time and space to study all five chapters of 1 John. Remember, our purpose in studying John's writings is to glean insight into the man himself and to learn what he seemed to want us to know most. We don't have to be scholars to quickly ascertain that John's entire focus in his first epistle was relationship. In our previous chapter, we targeted koinonia. For the remainder of our focus on 1 John, we'll cut straight to the heart and study his favorite subject: love. First we'll hear John's heartbeat on God's love for us. Next chapter we'll hear from John concerning God's love through us.

  I originally learned 1 John 3:1 in the King James Version: "Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us"! Keep in mind that all the major Bible translations still trace back to the Greek for accuracy. By "behold" I think the apostle John was saying, "Can't you see it? Don't you perceive it? The love of God surrounds us with evidences! Just look!" The original word for "manner" speaks of "disposition, character, quality"

  If we asked God to help us more accurately grasp the true disposition, character, and exquisite quality of His love for us, our lives would dramat­ically change! Because John chose to prioritize love, God opened his eyes to behold it and his soul to perceive it. Paul discovered something similar and prayed for all of us to do likewise. His prayer thrills me that we might "know this love that surpasses knowledge" (Eph. 3:19). I think Paul wanted us to experience God's love to the full measure of our capacity through the Spirit of God within us, then try to comprehend that its true measure and nature are far beyond that very experience. Just a taste. Just a glimpse. We are invited to know a love that is beyond human knowledge.

  Beloved, God's love for you exceeds all reason. I'm not talking about your pastor, your Bible study leaders, or anyone else you greatly admire in the church. I'm talking about you. First John 4:16 says, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." The word for know in this verse is the same one Paul employed in Ephesians 3:19. You see, we can't define God's love, but we can behold it, experience it, and rely on it. Is 1 John 4:16

  a reality for you? Have you come to experience and rely on God's love for you? His love for you and me is an absolute reality, but we can be so emo­tionally unhealthy that we refuse to experience it and absorb it into our hearts and minds.

  The NN translates 1 John 3:19-20 powerfully: "This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." Ironically, many people are resistant to God because they imagine Him to be very condemning. In reality humans are far more condemning and often emotionally dangerous. I am intrigued by a statement about Christ recorded in John 2:24: "Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men."

  I can almost imagine Christ saying to humanity, "I am perplexed with all your talk about whether or not you can trust Me. Actually, your heart can be at complete rest in My presence. My love is perfectly healthy. The greater risk is in My entrusting Myself to you." You see, our unhealthy hearts not only condemn us; they condemn others. I have seen marriages destroyed because one spouse refused to accept the reality of the other spouse's love for him or her. Our hearts sometimes even con­demn God as we decide for ourselves that He can't be trusted and that He doesn't really love us unconditionally. Our natural hearts are very deceitful and destructive on their own. We may have a condemning heart without ever facing it.

  Picture a house that has been condemned by the city government. Imagine the sign posted on the door: "This property condemned." Is that your heart? Is it in shambles? Beyond proper living conditions? Are broken pieces of glass scattered all over it? Has it not only been endangered but become dangerous? As most of us know, hurt people hurt people.

  My heart used to resemble a condemned property. Oh, I kept a fresh coat of paint over it so no one would know, but I knew the wreck it was on the inside. I even turned the sign over on the other side and wrote, "Fun person who has it all together ... as long as you keep your distance and don't look closely." I wish we could sit down over a cup of French roast coffee and you could tell me what your sign might have said.

  Some of us may think our hearts aren't unhealthy because we assume they all look alike. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unhealthy hearts come in all shapes and sizes. Some are cold. Others are indiscrimi­nate. Some have thick walls around them. Some have no remaining boundaries at all. Some are forthright and angry. Others are passive and self-disparaging. Some are completely detached. Others are so attached that the object smothers.

  I have had the privilege of getting
to know many believers over the course of this ministry. Based on what I've seen, I am convinced that few people possess a virtually whole heart who have not pursued it deliberately in Christ. We don't have to be raised in severely dysfunctional homes to develop unhealthy hearts. All we have to do is expose ourselves to life. Life can be heartless and mean. Purely and simply, life hurts. We can't check ourselves out of life, however. Instead, God hopes that we'll turn to Him to heal us from the ravages of natural life and make us healthy ambassadors of abundant life in an unhealthy world.

  Let me suggest two sure signs of an ailing heart: (1) You're convinced that nothing in life is reliable. Code name: Jaded. (2) You keep trying to convince yourself you can rely on something that has proved unreliable over and over again. Code name: Denial.

  In case you have a heart like the one I had, please know that God can heal your heart no matter what got it in such a condition. First John 3:20 tells us that God is greater than our hearts! And He knows everything! Even the thing we secretly believe makes us unlovable . . . and unloving. Knowing all things, God loves us lavishly. Perfectly. Unfailingly. If He can heal my shattered, self-destructive heart, He can heal anyone's.

  Perhaps you've allowed the enemy to hang a "condemned" sign on your heart, and you've almost given up on authentic love. Perhaps he's even talked you into becoming a cynic. Beloved, Satan is a liar! He knows if you and I take this thing about God's love seriously, we might become a John or a Paul in our generations. Oh, let's glorify God, spite the devil, and do it! It's not too late. Take your pulse. If your heart is still beating, it's worth healing! Here's the catch, however: God's method of healing a condemning heart is to love it to death ... then create in us a new heart. A healthier heart. A heart filled with faith instead of fear. His perfect love is the only thing that will drive out that fear of ours.